LordDynamo Reviews

Tom and Jerry: The Movie (1992)

Ugghhh!!

[1/10 · 14 February 2013]

Words alone cannot express my reaction to this film when I saw it, so to have an appropriate image of it, watch the Nostalgia Critic's response to the landmark of this film's *epic* failure: Tom and Jerry effing TALK (and sing about how they hate chasing each other and are actually friends)!!!!!! They went and turned a cartoon sensation into a cinema abomination. There we are, no more to it. That's the short version of what I think of this. Poor Tom and Jerry. It's as if the movie murdered them.

Oh, and recite the analysis of the climactic chase scene...*without* going completely insane!

The Legend of the Titanic (1999)

I hope the makers are completely satisfied, because I certainly am not!!!

[1/10 · 14 February 2013]

Here's an important lesson, kids: -The Titanic sunk because of an alliance between whalers and gangster sharks, who told a dog-faced octopus to chuck an iceberg in the ship's path.

-If you see a man sniff your glove, he is by NO means creepy.

-If a dog urinates on you, you cannot run onto the float after him.

-You can talk to dolphins with a simple dose of moon-beam magic.

-Why take time to start a romantic relationship when you can just dance for less than a minute? -It's RACIST to fancy a human woman when you're a mouse.

-Octopuses and elderly mice are Jesus Christ.

-Nobody died in the sinking of the Titanic. That was just a cover-up. There was "room for everyone" and many were saved by a giant octopus and whales. What's that? More than a thousand people died during the sinking? Noooo, whatever gave you that idea? Noticed the sarcasm in what has been said so far? If this film isn't disrespect to the thousands of poor souls who perished in one of the most tragic events in history and an insult of the audience's intelligence, then hell knows what is!!!

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)

Why can't I put in 0?!

[1/10 · 13 February 2013]

If you don't believe what I'm about to say, then watch Nostalgia Critic's review of this. There is enough visual evidence there to show that this movie is atrocious.

Ever heard of the expression "Curiosity kills the cat"? Heed those words well. I had no idea how true they were until I made the stupid decision of watching the film despite the reception it received. My GOD, how idiotic I was.

The story, the characters, the acting. Everything seems like it was just thrown in and left to fend for itself...with no independence experience whatsoever.

And let's not forget the eponymous nightmares themselves, the Garbage Pail Kids. Not only are the costumes badly done and the mouth movements unsynchronized by miles, the kids look as creepy as sin - I still cannot get over the fact that one of them is an alligator (don't ask) - and the humor surrounding them is anything BUT funny. Not so much as a giggle but a cringe accompanied by a desire to vomit. I'm in no way surprised parents wanted to ban this movie!

Oh, and the love story between the boy and the girl in her twenties? How could they think this up and not think it creepy!?

So this film is based on a trading card game? Well, I'd much rather play the cards than watch this pile of dung a second time!

And to conclude: "The Toughest Bar in the World"? REALLY!?

My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

You HAVE to love Totoro

[10/10 · 14 September 2012]

I was dying to watch this when I first heard of it, and I want to say, I am so glad I did.

I usually give a short plot summary when reviewing but I am afraid to spoil the whole film if I do it this time. It's that good.

If you're a fan of Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli, and haven't seen My Neighbor Totoro, then do it, immediately.

It is a stroke of genius created by Miyazaki himself, and it makes you want to be with the two girls during their little adventures with the fluffy Totoro themselves.

And the Catbus? One of my favourite animated characters of all time!

Jakob the Liar (1999)

A Holocaust film with an original storyline.

[7/10 · 3 August 2012]

There are two reasons that lead me to watch this film:

Firstly, it is a Holocaust film; the Holocaust is a period in history that had a huge impact on me.

Secondly, it features my favourite actor and actress in the world: the great Robin Williams & the wonderful Hannah Taylor Gordon. I have admired these two for years and to have two of your fave actors in one film is a very rare treat. The scenes with the two of them together are heartwarming.

Williams plays Jakob Heynn, one of the hundreds of Jewish people living in a Polish ghetto in 1944, during World War II. After hearing radio broadcast announcing the Russians' approach, he tells of the possible end of the war, leading the ghetto inhabitants to believe he possesses a "hidden radio". This leads to him having to tell false rumours, thus increasing the hope of the inhabitants of the ghetto.

It certainly feels odd to hearing Williams speak in a different accent, I can tell you. His performance, all the same, is as good as ever. Hannah Taylor Gordon, who plays the little girl who hides in Jakob's apartment, is just so lovely in her role. Having watched her stunning performance as Anne Frank in "Anne Frank: The Whole Story" previously, I have always admired Taylor Gordon, so to see her in this is, to me, a real marvel.

The supporting cast also offers a great performance. It all makes this film that much inviting to watch.

There is, of course, quite a bit of tragedy in this film. But, seeing as it is set during the Holocaust, that is to be expected. It's a way of showing respect to the memory of it all. If you don't like tragic scenes, let alone tragic films, then maybe this isn't for you. However, there is some humour in it, thanks to Williams.

So, all in all, I'd say this film is one I'd recommend. It certainly has an original storyline and the whole thing offers a heartwarming experience.

Peter Pan (2003)

The best Peter Pan adaptation to date

[10/10 · 2 August 2012]

I have loved the story of Peter Pan since I was little; I saw the pantomimes, watched the Disney version god knows how many times and enjoyed Steven Spielberg's "Hook". Heck, I chose the novel as a book presentation in school once! In short, Peter Pan became a mark of my childhood.

It was no surprise that when this film version of Pan came out, I was desperate to watch it, all the while afraid that it might not be loyal to the original novel and play. I was greatly mistaken, in fact I am so glad I watched this.

This is, hands down, the best adaptation of Peter Pan to date. The sheer magic of J.M. Barrie is translated perfectly into the film. The actors fit their roles so well, it's not even funny. Rachel Hurd-Wood is adorable as Wendy, Olivia Williams as Mrs Darling is wonderful, such is Ludivine Sagnier as Tinkerbell, Lynn Redgrave as Aunt Millicent and Richard Briers as Smee. Jason Isaacs, I find, portrays Captain Hook (as well as Mr Darling) the best, rivaling even Dustin Hoffman in Hook. Then again, all the characters are lovable, especially the Lost Boys. However, the real star of the show is none other than the title character and protagonist, Peter himself. Jeremy Sumpter's performance is so fantastic that the tradition of having actresses play the legendary boy will be insignificant. This made Peter Pan my favourite character in the whole film. And the rest? Well, the special effects are stunning (my god, that crocodile is scarier than the other versions!) and the music score, composed by James Newton Howard, is nothing short of captivating. My favourite is definitely "Flying", when Peter and the Darling children fly to Neverland.

So, to put it briefly, I highly recommend this film, whether you love Peter Pan or not. It is wonderful as a family film and in all other ways besides. I assure you, you will not regret watching it. With a beautiful story and unforgettable cast, you will feel like you're flying and having adventures with them.

The Lion King (1994)

A true masterpiece! Of "royal" splendour

[18 August 2011]

It is everyday that you get a film. However, it is not everyday that you get a film that is original and inspirational. The Lion King is a perfect example of that for it's a masterpiece that I guarantee will entertain people of all ages! The plot is pretty straightforward, but I think it has creativity in every way. It follows Simba, a young lion cub who is destined to become the new king of the African Savannah, after his father, Mufasa. However, Mufasa's jealous brother, Scar wishes to claim the throne for himself and intends to kill both Mufasa and Simba, with the help of a dastardly yet comical pack of hyenas. Going into self-exile when told that he is responsible for his father's death by a planned wildebeest stampede (we all know who really did it, don't we?), Simba grows up while befriending the famous duo, Timon and Pumbaa, then is eventually persuaded to defeat his uncle Scar and become the rightful king. A plot such as this is so compelling, it is uncanny. As for the characters, each and every one of them is brilliantly made, and the voice actors are well chosen, my personal favourites being James Earl Jones as the voice of Mufasa, Whoopi Goldberg (well known for her role in Sister Act) as the lead hyena Shenzi and the fabulous Rowan Atkinson as Zazu, a hornbill and the king's majordomo. And let's not forget Nathan Lane as Timon and Jeremy Irons as Scar! The rest of the film is equally fantastic. The main reason I love TLK is that its characters are animals, in the African Savannah (I am a big fan of African wildlife)! For those who have not seen The Lion King, watch it! Now! I promise you will praise the film for all it's worth (made even better with its unique and epic soundtrack) and you will not regret watching it. As a conclusion, I give The Lion King a 10 and recommend it highly.

Princess Mononoke (1997)

Powerful and magical!

[8/10 · 4 August 2011]

Princess Mononoke was the first, Studio Ghibli film I have seen, and I saw it before it was dubbed into English! It suffices to say that I was ENTHRALLED! It was after watching this that Hayao Miyazaki, the director of Studio Ghibli, has become my favourite director and Princess Mononoke has become one of my top favourite films. The film tells of young Prince Ashitaka and his epic quest to find a cure for a wound made by a demon which has bitten him. During his journey, he finds himself in the midst of a war between humans and gods (in animal form). Fighting alongside the Wolf tribe is a warrior girl called San, also known as Mononoke-Hime. In my opinion, this film is better even than Disney classics, it has more magic and imagination. You really feel as though you're in the imaginary world that the story is set in. What's more, there is no actual villain in the film. The supposed antagonist is Lady Eboshi, given that she is doing the most damage to the forest, though she accepts lepers and even apologizes for Ashtitaka's wound. That's the beauty of Miyazaki's films, it isn't the usual "good vs evil" story where the villain is completely bad and gets killed in the end. Additionally, this film gives a message: care for nature and the environment! I feel Miyazaki has portrayed the destruction of nature brilliantly! I don't think the message could have been given in a better way. As a conclusion: I highly recommend this film. It is a marvel to watch, with the type of magical sensation found in a book! Watch it! You will not regret it.

Okami (2006 Video Game)

Revolutionary and compelling!

[24 July 2011]

I have played lots of video games, but none have changed more than Okami! To me, it is genius of Capcom to turn away from the usual computer graphics that we see everywhere and turn to a mix of cel-shading and classic Japanese art. If that isn't original, then what is? To put it brief, I have LOVED Okami since I first started playing it. The game is designed to perfection: the story, the length of gameplay, the characters, the soundtrack, etc. The story tells of Amaterasu, the wolf incarnation of the sun goddess, who must embark on an epic quest to purge the land of Nippon (Japanese for "Japan") from evil, with the help of the Celestial Brush and a little sprite called Issun. Yes, it sounds simple, but that impression will be proved wrong as the advances. There is much more depth in the overall plot than you'd think. As for the lifespan, if you are looking for a game that gives you HOURS of entertainment then this is for you! Okami offers you more than 30 hours of gameplay, and even when when you have finished, you'll be wanting more (as for the ending, it made me cry. You get that very rarely in video games). There are so many things to praise about Okami that I won't put them here, so to make it brief: Okami is without a doubt a fantastic game (it is undoubtedly my favourite) and I highly recommend it! Congratulations to Capcom!

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (2006 Video Game)

The most epic of its series!

[24 July 2011]

I first played this game about five years ago, and suffice it to say, I absolutely loved it! I was dying to get it ever since. I have got it now and still enjoy it, no matter how much I replay it, quite simply because it is to me the most epic game in the whole Zelda series. In my opinion, Ocarina of Time, also a fantastic game, has a major competitor in TP, because they have both revolutionized in their own ways: Ocarina of Time by being the first 3D Zelda game and Twilight Princess by its new features and its more compelling storyline. To start off, the cast of characters is larger and they have more depth. Then there's the over world. With Twilight Princess' Hyrule alone, you have tons of stuff to do. With the villages,separate landscapes and dungeons added, you have hours of entertainment. Another thing I wish to praise is the graphics. You really feel as though you're in the game itself because it looks so realistic! As a conclusion, I have made Twilight Princess one of my favourite games and give it a 10. Thank you, Nintendo, for such a fantastic creation. Countdown for the new upcoming Zelda Wii game.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

The best adaptation of Tolkien's work

[8/10 · 16 July 2011]

I have always been an avid fan of J.R.R Tolkien and his writings, and the Lord of the Rings is one of my favourite book trilogies. I also admire Peter Jackson and to me he is the perfect director of the whole adaptation (as well as his adaptation of King Kong and his upcoming two part version of The Hobbit). The first installment of the trilogy, The Fellowship of the Ring, is the beginning of both Jackson and Tolkien's work. I normally explain the basic plot, but in this case it is difficult, because there is so much background and depth that a basic plot becomes an essay. However, here is the simplified synopsis: a young hobbit named Frodo Baggins must embark on a perilous quest to destroy the One Ring, forged by the Dark Lord Sauron. Accompanied by a fellowship of allies, Frodo must go to the Mountain of Fire in the land of Mordor to complete the quest and foil the Enemy in his evil purpose. Admittedly, there are elements of the book that are removed or changed, but it is done for a good reason: to focus on the peril that surrounds the ring (those who are familiar with the books will know what I mean). The action scenes, characters and music are all superb and what could be a better setting for the lands of Middle Earth than the director's birth country, New Zealand? Additionally, the actors are very well chosen for their roles: in my opinion, the most notable being Sir Ian McKellen as Gandalf, Hugo Weaving as Elrond and, of course, the wonderful Cate Blanchett as Galadriel. As a conclusion, I'd say this is a brilliant adaptation of the book and a must see for those who love Tolkien but haven't seen the films.

Grave of the Fireflies (1988)

A classic. One of the best animated films ever.

[10/10 · 16 July 2011]

It is impossible to watch GotF and not feel sad at the end. This film is so beautiful, and yet so heart-breaking, that it has to be one of the greatest animated movies in history. Disney is good and all, but the death of Mufasa & Bambi's mother and Snow White's funeral, while pretty saddening, are not as gut-wrenching and endearing as the masterpiece that is Grave. Set in Kobe, Japan at the end of World War II, the story tells of a teenage boy (Seita) and his 4 year-old sister (Setsuko) as they struggle to survive after their mother was killed in an air raid. A story such as this is undoubtedly going to ultimately turn out tragic, and it does. Not wishing to spoil anything, however, I shall not go into details, but to see Seita taking care of Setsuko, something which becomes increasingly difficult, does nothing more than make you feel for both of them. This is no typical Hollywood romantic love story; this is a story of love between a boy and his sister, which makes one feel for them even more. The animation, the music (notably the song "Home Sweet Home"), everything is as it should be. Nothing more to be expected from the great director Isao Takahata. If you do not like tragic films, then maybe this isn't for you. If that is not the case, then watch it. The experience is nothing short of beautiful.

RRRrrrr!!! (2004)

Could be the French Monty Python

[10/10 · 7 July 2011]

Having moved to France, I wanted to understand French humour. Seriously, I couldn't understand it, until I saw this! Some people prefer witty humour. Almost all today's comedians do that, but what's wrong with humour that is stupid? The Goons, Monty Python and The Goodies are a perfect example, and so is RRRrr! There are so many gags and jokes in the film that it is generally okay to not pay attention to the plot (although the 300 year war over the secret of shampoo is quite clever). My particular favourite is the investigation of the first murder ("I've got it. She died of old age, but young.") Apart from that, there is also the idea of giving the animals tusks, thus ending their names with "-moth" (horsemoth, bearmoth, hippopotamoth, etc) and the film's beginning. So, as a conclusion, I highly recommend this film, it being one of my favourites. If you love Monty Python and want more goofy humour, then watch this, you won't regret it.

10,000 BC (2008)

Prehistorical, but in some cases, prehysterical

[6/10 · 7 July 2011]

Being an ENORMOUS fan of prehistory, I was dying to watch this film ever since it came out. I eventually watched it and was, well, surprised...though in a mixed way. Basically, it is about a mammoth hunter (who must be made reduntant most of the time if they hunt one a year) who must save his tribe from a bunch of horsemen (yes, horsemen, in prehistoric times!) who took them as slaves for their colony. Amongst the captured is the hunter's beloved, all the more reason to spend the next 2 hours of the film journeying to rescue the tribesmen. Before I go to the cons (which, sadly, outnumber the pros), I must say I praise the ideas in the film, especially the "White Spear" concept. And some of the action scenes are great, my favourites being the mammoth hunt (it doesn't reach "Walking with Beasts" level, but it's great all the same) and the terror bird attack. Right, now for the cons: -despite being in a prehistoric era, the hero and his tribe speak perfect English. Not in a primitive fashion, they speak like the Queen. Now I'm not usually a fussy person, but I would have preferred that they could have a particular dialect with subtitles, like the enemy tribe. -the enemy tribe use technology that wouldn't have been founded until the iron age. This film is presumably set in the early stone age, yet some are riding horses, using boats, etc. -geographical inaccuracies. If it were a trilogy or similar, the environment jumping would make more sense. But no, we start off in an Alpine landscape with snow capped mountains, then we find ourselves in an Amazon rainforest type place and finally the Sahara Desert. -the Egyptian/Atlantean people use mammoths to pull the pyramid stones. One, mammoths would never have been domesticated and two, how can the mammoths not die of heat when they're in the desert? -I was a bit disappointed by the sabre-tooth part, they put it on a poster fighting the hero, though we only see it for about 5 minutes in the film, no fighting included. On an additional, historical note, sabre-toothed cats died out long before the year 10000 BC.

The cons put aside, I give this film a 6 for the action and ideas put in and I am ready to watch this film a couple more times.

Anne Frank: The Whole Story (2001)

The first film I have truly treasured

[7/10 · 27 May 2011]

There has never been a film in my life that I have adored as much as "Anne Frank". I found it on the Internet and thought "I'll give this a try" and I did. I have to say, I was lost in so many ways: lost in amazement, lost in admiration and lost in great sadness. In short, I loved this film so DEEPLY, despite being reduced in tears at the same time. The story is based on the biography by Melissa Müller and tells of the young girl before, during and after her years of hiding with her family and friends from the Nazi terror over Holland during the Second World War. Throughout the film, you have emotion and in-depth introduction to just about every character in the story. You have a complete exploration into the unfortunate life of a young girl with SO many ambitions. To express an opinion, Hannah Taylor Gordon is the perfect actress to portray Anne Frank, her emotions are just...outstandingly adorable. It is just brilliant to not have a celebrity actress to play her. There is also Ben Kingsley, who plays as Anne's father, Otto. He, too, has the perfect match to the protective father and his emotions at the end made me cry. All the other actors and actresses were fantastic, my personal favourite being Jessica Manley as Anne's older sister, Margot. Normally, there are cons that should be noted, but to me it is an insult to give any, an insult to Ann Frank's memory. The film is a bit slow, but that isn't bad at all. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is a film that goes through a story quickly, ruining the pleasure of watching a film. Anne Frank is a great exception, it goes through the story slowly and steadily and the characters are introduced in a great way. A warning to those who are vulnerable to tragic scenes, the last half hour is heart-wrenching. I am not ashamed to admit, I was in floods of tears during that half hour and I don't usually cry. So as a conclusion, I give this film a definite 10 and I have made it a personal favourite. I highly recommend it!

Metroid Prime (2002 Video Game)

One of the best games ever made!!!

[10/10 · 19 August 2010]

I was off my seat the moment I started playing this game!

Okay, the story goes thus: After receiving an unknown distress signal, interstellar bounty hunter Samus Aran finds a research frigate in orbit of a planet named Tallon IV. Only upon entering the frigate does she make a horrific discovery that will lead her to a meeting with her old enemies, the Space Pirates and a mission involving the search for the identity of a mysterious creature living in the core of an impact crater.

The story deepens, of course, but it is so beautifully complex that I will not describe further. The thing I adore the most about this game is the graphics. The worlds explored in Prime are so well worked out that it feels like you're actually there. Everything represents the perfect alien world, with lush rain forest, ancient ruins, volcanic caves, icy mountains and more! The enemies in Prime are the most intelligent I have seen in any game. They actually have you struggling at certain points and their design is climatic, especially the bosses, which have a battle strategy unlike anything I have seen anywhere else. There are also certain things in the game which make you feel uncomfortable. For example, the space frigate has an atmosphere that looks like something is lurking in the darkness, amidst the deathly air around you. Then the power cut in the research lab gives you a sense of panic as you find your way back through the pitch blackness. The game seems to have a way of making you feel like you're in the character's place. I sincerely do not have any complaints about this first installment in what I consider one of the greatest game trilogies in its age. The game is made to perfection. It is an example of a game that the makers put all their efforts into. All I have to say is that Metroid Prime is one of my favorite games of all time, as well as Retro being one of my favorite game studios. Well done!

God of War II (2007 Video Game)

An excellent Kratos adventure, just like the other games

[9/10 · 15 August 2010]

As a warning, I took a point off for the ludicrously difficult Titan mode. My friend bought this a while ago and I was literally on the edge of my seat the moment the action began! GoW 2, as well as the entire GoW series, is fantastic, a thrill to play from start to finish. First off, the story is the starting point of an adventure that will determine the fate of Olympus itself, revolving around the protagonist's (Kratos) thirst for vengeance. Saved from death by Gaia, Mother of Earth, he must go to the Sisters of Fate to return to when Zeus (the villain) betrayed and killed him. What could be a better plot for the second installment of the GoW series? I could never think of a better one! Secondly, the environment. From the city of Rhodes and the mountain of Typhon to the grand Palace of Fates and the Titan Atlas, the worlds of this game are truly magnificent. The boss battles are equally brilliant. My favorites so far have been the Colossus, Kraken, Euryale the Gorgon, the Sisters of Fate and Perseus. The fights were just climatic. And of course, Kratos himself is as great as ever. His personality makes him one of my favorite video game characters of all time.