iain-cocks Reviews

Tetris (2023)

*Based on a true story...

[7/10 · 1 April 2023]

*That Tetris was invented by a Russian.

That's it. Everything else is pretty much fiction. Then again, the true story was mainly a fairly complicated, protracted legal battle and wouldn't have made for a very exciting film. But an exciting film is what we have! It's well acted, the whole production is great, the story is gripping, but it's all fiction. Which is fine, but claiming it was "based on a true story" is... misleading, to put it nicely.

It's quite revealing to read all these glowing reviews praising the authenticity and what a wonderful historical edcuation these reviewers recieved upon viewing it, when even a cursory google search shows that the reality is almost entirely disconnected with the contents of this film.

Still, I have to give the film credit, it was a fun watch, a good story and VERY imaginative!

Little Buddha (1993)

Big-budget balls-up

[2/10 · 16 September 2015]

I came across this movie some time ago and after reading some positive reviews here decided to give it a go. Now my Mum always told me if you have nothing nice to say then just say nothing, but I really can't hold back this time, it was such an awful film.

Let's start with the actors, specifically with Chris Isaak, how he managed to even pass the audition is beyond me. His acting is literally laughable (he was actually nominated for a golden raspberry for worst new star) and his co-star Bridget Fonda isn't much better either. Talk about wooden acting... they might as well just be holding the script and talking into the camera, in fact that would be an improvement. Next up is Keanu Reeves, who was obviously cast purely for his star power, playing the Indian Prince Siddharta who was to become the Buddha. There's plenty of hammy acting on display but at least he made an effort. The other actors were actually not bad, but it wan't enough to save this wreck.

Next up, the cinematography. It's not terrible, but it's certainly not as 'beautiful' as some reviewers wrote. Some of the sets were pretty well done, there were some nice enough locations and the bits of CGI (creepy talking baby, creepy giant snake and super-fake apocalypse storm thing) while very dated now, were probably OK for the time, but it's really nothing special, just Hollywood standard.

Now we come to the story, or stories, as there are two parallel story lines mixed together. The first is about some Tibetan Monks trying to find the reincarnation of their old master and woven into this is the story of Siddharta and his journey to enlightenment. The problem is that the first story has very little going on plot-wise, while the second story had to be way over-simplified for it to fit into under half a film. It just doesn't really work. Plus of course this film is pretty much a propaganda piece for Tibetan Buddhism and isn't shy about it either. Something tells me this film never had a debut in Mainland China...

To top it all off there are all the WTF moments that constantly came up. Like why do the opening scenes where the monks meet the parents come off like a creepy horror movie, complete with tense music? Why does the Father have absolutely no problem when his son runs off and gets lost in the back-streets of Bhutan? He's just chilling in a café! Why did they randomly insert stock time-lapse footage of clouds as the view when the boy looks out the plane window? At first I thought it was supposed to be a dream, but nope, just the view apparently. There are just so many things that take you out of the film completely, it's ridiculous.

To sum it up, this is a big-budget balls-up. Unless you're in the mood for a terrible film to laugh at, do yourself a favour and give this one a wide berth.

Enter the Void (2009)

Brilliant in parts but tedious to get through

[6/10 · 15 August 2013]

The opening credits and initial half hour of the film are visually stunning and work to draw you in to the drug-induced psychedelic mind state and perception of the main character and observer of the film, Oliver. Even at home on the small screen the effect was quite mind- bending; in the theatre it must have been even more so. I say observer because early on in the film he gets shot in a police sting operation and spends the remainder of the film as a disembodied spirit floating around Tokyo observing the aftermath of his death and flashing back to his tumultuous childhood and relationship with his sister. But this is where the tedium kicks in. Okay, floating across and through city blocks is a cool visual trick done once or twice, as is the spiraling, slow- motion panning around and in-between scenes, but when this essentially makes up the remaining 2 hours of film it starts to get old. Added to the fact that very little happens in the scenes that aren't just fancy camera-work and you end up feeling that you're just as trapped in limbo as our disembodied guide. Eventually we pay witness to a huge orgy in a love hotel, get jizzed in the face and finally reborn to suckle on the breast of our past-life sister. The end. I wish it had come sooner, but it was worth it, just about. With less indulgent editing and better character development it could have been brilliant. As it is, if you have the patience, there are gems to be found amongst the rough.

Throw Away Your Books, Rally in the Streets (1971)

Why did I just sit through that?

[1/10 · 3 September 2012]

I like to take a chance with the films I watch - sometimes it pays off, other times I wish I'd just skipped over it. This film belongs in the latter category.

It really was awful... The characters are abhorrent, the dialogue is nonsensical, the use of green and purple filters is nauseating, It's just a horrendous viewing experience. Not to mention the scenes of gang rape, bestiality and animal cruelty, all accompanied by a cacophony of screams, wails and weird chanting, used simply to shock the viewer and further twist the dystopian society this film presents us with. The worst example of art-house cinema... I advise you to stay clear.

...The prostitution song was fun though ;)