Should be 10. Right now it's 9 (4/11/24) and it needs to be 10. There is a conspiracy of Ba-boomers who want to keep this down; keep us down. I am over 35 and way younger than the boomers. This needs to be at a '10,' so you had better vote it up there. Vote how you feel, but also make sure you vote very high. I voted a 10 on this for how it made me feel about myself, life, the world, cultures, X-Men and my failed romantic relationships. The most attractive (Mind and bangin' body like Psylocke) woman I ever met was a girl in college who also watched X-Men as a kid. We never even got close to having a date, but I can still dream.
Reviews
23 Reviews
Dune: Part Two
(2024)
Dances with Wolves in the Middle East
18 March 2024
I can't comment on the first 30min because I fell asleep in the theater.
Anyways. White guy defects from the super white ruling class and meets some nice brown people. They're super religious, wear shawls and speak arabic backwards. There's some cool stuff in the movie like sandworms, a fetus that is pro-life and keeps chatting with the mom, and a mean bald guy who is Elvis.
The sandworms were awesome. Leave the war and just keep the sandworms; now that would be a good movie. The sandworms are so very big! Do they drink water from down below? I don't know, but give them too much and they die and make DMT!
Anyways. White guy defects from the super white ruling class and meets some nice brown people. They're super religious, wear shawls and speak arabic backwards. There's some cool stuff in the movie like sandworms, a fetus that is pro-life and keeps chatting with the mom, and a mean bald guy who is Elvis.
The sandworms were awesome. Leave the war and just keep the sandworms; now that would be a good movie. The sandworms are so very big! Do they drink water from down below? I don't know, but give them too much and they die and make DMT!
That Damn Michael Che
(2021–2022)
Self roasting extraordinaire
19 February 2024
If you like comedy, I think you'll love that damn Michael Che. Starts off with relationship stuff. Then fame, race (done funny) and other stuff. I liked his complete lack of trying to spin anything about himself. Lines like: "We did some research into your personal life..."
"Oh no, lol. I was hoping you guys wouldn't do this.."
"And we didn't find anything."
Self-roasting gone mad, in the best way. It's more common to see guys and others like Che honestly telling it like it is for black folks now. But this guy brings SNL firepower to the game in the mellowest way. Damn funny if you ask me. Y.
"Oh no, lol. I was hoping you guys wouldn't do this.."
"And we didn't find anything."
Self-roasting gone mad, in the best way. It's more common to see guys and others like Che honestly telling it like it is for black folks now. But this guy brings SNL firepower to the game in the mellowest way. Damn funny if you ask me. Y.
Beetlejuice
(1988)
Pitch perfect. Life, death, claymation and fine acting by hilarious people
3 November 2023
Come Halloween, watch this if it's been awhile. I almost didn't recognize Alec Baldwin, and there's little recognizing Keaton under the makeup, but everyone is stellar. Geena Davis is lovely and, just like everyone, completely committed to the role. Winnona Ryder completes the ensemble, and her parents are perfect cartoonish villian and straight man. Otho (actor's name escapes me) must have come from theather and he must have played a funny villain before. Speaking of villains, Beetlejuice is horrid, repugnant and hits on most of the women, but Michael Keaton makes him someone you love to watch.
Moon Knight
(2022)
Anti arab
2 November 2023
Wish I could watch beyond about ep3. Unfortunately a decent show, marred by 1D arab side characters (enemies or cab driver yelling, etc).
Shows arabs as either evil, suicide bomber/self sacrificing, etc or just loud. Oscar Isaac (guatamalteco) is good, and I liked the comic. I wish they had done more with the show being set in the middle east than just use some cool egyptian rap!
I am confident that I could re-create this show in a better fashion. I have no experience working in entertainment but I've imaginged some great storylines and I'm sure I'll probably write it on my computer soon. TBC.
Shows arabs as either evil, suicide bomber/self sacrificing, etc or just loud. Oscar Isaac (guatamalteco) is good, and I liked the comic. I wish they had done more with the show being set in the middle east than just use some cool egyptian rap!
I am confident that I could re-create this show in a better fashion. I have no experience working in entertainment but I've imaginged some great storylines and I'm sure I'll probably write it on my computer soon. TBC.
My Little Pony: Rescue from Midnight Castle
(1984 TV Special)
90s animation par excellence
19 October 2023
A surprisingly intense chapter of a show I don't know much else about, aside from what I saw when my toddler sister watched it from time to time. I remember this vividly from its VHS version though. Cool demons and dragons, and a conflicted villain, Scorpan, perfectly voiced by Ron Taylor. Tony Randall even voices a character! Rewatching this on Tubi, it all came back to me. Memorable touchstones like the villains, Spike's voice, the well-produced songs. Scorpan, a gargoyle, is a great anti-hero. Like the mutants and robots from my favorite shows at the time, TMNT and Transformers, Scorpan is a transformee. Must be why he's so memorable!
Gangs of Lagos
(2023)
Immersive
9 April 2023
I don't watch much Nigerian media, but this is a quality show. Fast paced, even if the dialogue drags on sometimes. All in all, the show gives you a feet-on-the-ground feel for the no-tourists parts of Lagos.
The actors come across as authentic denizens of the streets. Refreshing to see from a Western perspective where Africa is otherized beyond recognition. I'd love to see more of these shows even if the gangland storylines can get a bit worn out. But it's set apart from Nollywood because it cuts out all the melodrama.
Cool soundtrack, fun actors and a real eye-opener for audiences overseas.
The actors come across as authentic denizens of the streets. Refreshing to see from a Western perspective where Africa is otherized beyond recognition. I'd love to see more of these shows even if the gangland storylines can get a bit worn out. But it's set apart from Nollywood because it cuts out all the melodrama.
Cool soundtrack, fun actors and a real eye-opener for audiences overseas.
The Card Counter
(2021)
Directionless
12 September 2021
Isaac is great, Sheridan and Dafoe are good. Haddish is someone out of place here unfortunately. Directionless movies. Well written but goes down in flames on screen. Now if only it going down in flames was exciting... which it isn't.
Mulan
(2020)
Watch in Chinese, English subs if you need it
19 December 2020
This movie doesn't work in English. It's no masterpiece but it's a great example of a Chinese pop epic. Seriously, don't bother with the English!
Helps if you speak the language of course, but I would say everyone will like it better in Chinese. Yeah disney overcharged for it originally but it's not actually bad at all if you turn off the lousy pseudo American hybrid dialogue track.
Anyways, it was made to succeed in China.
Helps if you speak the language of course, but I would say everyone will like it better in Chinese. Yeah disney overcharged for it originally but it's not actually bad at all if you turn off the lousy pseudo American hybrid dialogue track.
Anyways, it was made to succeed in China.
Da 5 Bloods
(2020)
There's nothing like a Spike Lee joint
13 June 2020
Only Spike movies are so oddly thorough. Always alive, visceral and human.
The only character left without much story here is Melvin. But otherwise, while other movies speed ahead, treating their characters like prop dolls, Spike Lee always devotes time to characters like the Bloods. Otherwise the historical cutaways would make his movies feel more like documentaries. I love how Spike always does right by his characters, almost excessive with the varieties of situations they end up in. And giving characters time to interact with the viewers, talking to the camera, makes Spike Lee the best kind of crazy.
12 O'Clock Boys
(2013)
Along for the ride
5 June 2020
A very thorough documentary on a boy named Pug. You understand him and his family. Maybe we can't understand the bikers' joy in dominating the roads and taunting cops, but we can can understand Pug.
Never slow, and feels fair to both the riders and others, like officer Lemon, their number one persona-non-grata cop. An important documentary to watch, especially now.
Never slow, and feels fair to both the riders and others, like officer Lemon, their number one persona-non-grata cop. An important documentary to watch, especially now.
Joker
(I) (2019)
Two stars for productions costs
2 June 2020
Really joyless. That's what apocalyptic visions are all about, never matches reality. Take NYC in the 70s-80s for instance. There was still music being made and social progress happening, etc. It was the worst times anyone had seen but something came of it.
I always like Joaquin Phoenix but here he just indulges in instability. The laughing condition is his only schtick, one-dimensional.
I always like Joaquin Phoenix but here he just indulges in instability. The laughing condition is his only schtick, one-dimensional.
Us
(II) (2019)
P for Pointless
5 May 2019
Warning: Spoilers
So because there's some tunnels underground, it means that Americans have shadow people mirroring them down there? Sorry but too much effort went into this uninteresting concept. Was it the protagonist or their evil twin that got out alive? That's been done. As in the 'Bart's evil twin' bit, which probably came from a twilight zone episode or the like.
I did enjoy seeing Tim Heidecker. So good at playing an ass. It's a fine cast, and their family relationship is the only authentic feeling thing about the film. Nothing new from this film, as far as I can see.
I did enjoy seeing Tim Heidecker. So good at playing an ass. It's a fine cast, and their family relationship is the only authentic feeling thing about the film. Nothing new from this film, as far as I can see.
Ready Player One
(2018)
Sat through it b/c of friend I don't know well (stayed to be polite)
16 April 2018
Never read the book, this makes it seem like a silly story.
It's strung together enough that I give it 2 stars, but it's horrible. Abusive use of good music, corny long takes on beloved figures (iron giant, etc). Every second, something like this is thrown in to get attention. It's all to propel a lifeless story forwards.
Lots of acting, as in, it feels fake in every way. I wanted to vomit when percival-whatever faked crying at the end. This movie is empty of curiosity, nothing you see or hear has immediate value, it's 100% recycled.
It's strung together enough that I give it 2 stars, but it's horrible. Abusive use of good music, corny long takes on beloved figures (iron giant, etc). Every second, something like this is thrown in to get attention. It's all to propel a lifeless story forwards.
Lots of acting, as in, it feels fake in every way. I wanted to vomit when percival-whatever faked crying at the end. This movie is empty of curiosity, nothing you see or hear has immediate value, it's 100% recycled.
Rough Night
(2017)
Ignore the boys and repressed women who hate it. Just don't take granny
23 June 2017
I really liked how unexpected most elements to the film were. And Zoe Kravitz is so damn hot. Scarlett Johansen does really well, she's good at being herself. The others are excellent, though Jillian Bell isn't great.
Paul Downs was very good, wonderful to see Broad City infiltrating Hollywood. Ilana and co. nailed it
Paul Downs was very good, wonderful to see Broad City infiltrating Hollywood. Ilana and co. nailed it
Wonder Woman
(2017)
It's a movie, not fine cinema, yet it's 2.5hrs?
3 June 2017
Watch about half this film, like I did, and you'll see that it's all pretty typical superhero fare. But it is not engaging enough to be a 2.5hr movie. For me it just felt like repetition of the last 10yrs of fantasy action.
Gal is stunning, so I'm happy I saw the first half of it. But everything else about the movie is pretty lame. Good things about this movie.. hmm.. Gal Gadot... and......
Anyways, total retread of things past. I guess superhero movies went out with a bang in 2008. Ah the Dark Knight. It's 2017 and we'd better wake up. I feel like the 10 star reviews are by children, and adults out of some kind of dystopia where Trump is president
Gal is stunning, so I'm happy I saw the first half of it. But everything else about the movie is pretty lame. Good things about this movie.. hmm.. Gal Gadot... and......
Anyways, total retread of things past. I guess superhero movies went out with a bang in 2008. Ah the Dark Knight. It's 2017 and we'd better wake up. I feel like the 10 star reviews are by children, and adults out of some kind of dystopia where Trump is president
Morris from America
(2016)
Regardless of inaccurate depiction of Germany...
21 August 2016
Really lovely film about growing up, feeling different, parenting and American vs. world culture. Spot on performances from Robinson and Christmas.
It might be misogynist and construed as anti-European, but I thought of it more from Morris's perspective. He's young and confused, so why not depict the world as a hostile place. It shows Germans being strangely ignorant, fetishizing Black people and being rude, so.. this isn't a movie for Germans. ..Should have at least had the tutor be a German.. But it's a great movie about a young American.
Killer soundtrack, visually on point, strong leads. My apologies to Germany, but I loved it.
It might be misogynist and construed as anti-European, but I thought of it more from Morris's perspective. He's young and confused, so why not depict the world as a hostile place. It shows Germans being strangely ignorant, fetishizing Black people and being rude, so.. this isn't a movie for Germans. ..Should have at least had the tutor be a German.. But it's a great movie about a young American.
Killer soundtrack, visually on point, strong leads. My apologies to Germany, but I loved it.
Warcraft
(2016)
0 out of 10
12 June 2016
From a Warcraft ii fan: this movie stinks.
Cheesy, wooden, slow, formulaic, amateurish.. the list goes on.
I expected Easter eggs, inside jokes and fan favorite units, but all you get is plot device, heavily scripted dialogue and boredom.
The action consists of really slow battles, no special creatures, again lots of dialogue.
I stayed, hoping to see creatures and scenery, but got neither. You really can't have cgi characters unless they're fantastical and expressive, like golem etc. Too bad the real actors in the film give dull performances as well. O out of 10
Cheesy, wooden, slow, formulaic, amateurish.. the list goes on.
I expected Easter eggs, inside jokes and fan favorite units, but all you get is plot device, heavily scripted dialogue and boredom.
The action consists of really slow battles, no special creatures, again lots of dialogue.
I stayed, hoping to see creatures and scenery, but got neither. You really can't have cgi characters unless they're fantastical and expressive, like golem etc. Too bad the real actors in the film give dull performances as well. O out of 10
Aroused
(2013)
Honest and sad
6 July 2015
While the fashion photographer who made the film works to glamorize her subjects, she doesn't mince their words in editing, and the closeups on the actresses expressions are actually devastating. I was looking for a film that would change my far too positive view of porn to be more balanced, and seeing that even the top porn stars aren't that happy about their work says a lot.
The actresses start sounding conflicted and upset as they go deeper in the questioning. They basically all qualify any positive thing they say about porn with a contradiction. They're all dealing with one harsh reality or another. Posing in front of the camera they seem really out of their element when they're not expected to sell themselves, but it's fascinating.
If you interpret what they actresses are really saying, it's sad; doubly sad that so many blindly love porn. For once the actresses are all really human though.
The actresses start sounding conflicted and upset as they go deeper in the questioning. They basically all qualify any positive thing they say about porn with a contradiction. They're all dealing with one harsh reality or another. Posing in front of the camera they seem really out of their element when they're not expected to sell themselves, but it's fascinating.
If you interpret what they actresses are really saying, it's sad; doubly sad that so many blindly love porn. For once the actresses are all really human though.
Ex Machina
(2014)
Potential greatness hindered
24 April 2015
By horrendous dialogue. I'm surprised that high quality casting and directing worked in this movie, but the dialogue is RObotic!
Unbelievable! Insulting actually, unless you hear something in the nonsense the two major characters are constantly spewing.
The plot also doesn't have one surprise in it. Isaac, Gleeson and Vikander deserve better, but at least everything looks right in this film. It also feels right... what the hell happened with the dialogue? Is everyone texting so much that no one hears what speech sounds like anymore? I'll end by saying that this director deserves better as well. Hire a writer!
Unbelievable! Insulting actually, unless you hear something in the nonsense the two major characters are constantly spewing.
The plot also doesn't have one surprise in it. Isaac, Gleeson and Vikander deserve better, but at least everything looks right in this film. It also feels right... what the hell happened with the dialogue? Is everyone texting so much that no one hears what speech sounds like anymore? I'll end by saying that this director deserves better as well. Hire a writer!
Godzilla
(2014)
These parts added together = negative 4 stars
29 May 2014
Yes Bryan Cranston is excellent. Sure, the director can direct, and yes, there are top tier special effects. Add the implausible Godzilla story, plus dialogue to rationalize everything that's happening and you get a mess. Even the joy of watching destruction is ruined when you're asking yourself: is this the best story they could come up with? How are they even delivering these lines? It's not tongue-in-cheek anymore, it's just lame.
Godzilla should really stay Japanese. I'm not even a fan, but I can tell how well loved the Japanese versions are. This is just a big fat dud Hollywood.
Godzilla should really stay Japanese. I'm not even a fan, but I can tell how well loved the Japanese versions are. This is just a big fat dud Hollywood.
A History of Violence
(2005)
Not very good
31 May 2012
I love Eastern Promises, but not this movie. Fairly senseless violence, the main character remains at two dimesional as the rest; just a 'good ol' small town guy.' Annoying actually, as is the shrill wife.
The only appeal here is the killing scenes, and Ed O'Neil's performance. William Hurt is wasted in his role. Mostly just killng though. Fast forward, it's a half assed movie with lame family drama.
The killing is kind of cool, Cronenberg tried to make something different from his old movies, and succeeded with violence scenes. 'Violence' is lame though, nothing like Eastern Promises. Check that movie out, it's way better.
The only appeal here is the killing scenes, and Ed O'Neil's performance. William Hurt is wasted in his role. Mostly just killng though. Fast forward, it's a half assed movie with lame family drama.
The killing is kind of cool, Cronenberg tried to make something different from his old movies, and succeeded with violence scenes. 'Violence' is lame though, nothing like Eastern Promises. Check that movie out, it's way better.
The Prestige
(2006)
so mediocre
14 March 2011
Pretty but pointless. Jackman and Caine are very good as always, not too much to say about the others.
Like most Chris Nolan movies, seems good but emotionally empty. There should be more payoff for the tension, intensity and rough bits. And Christian Bale is such a tiresome blowhard, especially when he's not pretending to be America. God, what a stiff lipped high strung twit.
Perhaps there is more payoff towards the end than I anticipate, I couldn't stand the runaround the movie gives the viewer, so I watched only a portion of this 130min movie. It's a 'movie' for sure, mostly for empty entertainment purposes.
Like most Chris Nolan movies, seems good but emotionally empty. There should be more payoff for the tension, intensity and rough bits. And Christian Bale is such a tiresome blowhard, especially when he's not pretending to be America. God, what a stiff lipped high strung twit.
Perhaps there is more payoff towards the end than I anticipate, I couldn't stand the runaround the movie gives the viewer, so I watched only a portion of this 130min movie. It's a 'movie' for sure, mostly for empty entertainment purposes.
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