Change Your Image
jordan-ostroff
Reviews
The Descendants (2011)
To quote Keith Richards
As John Mulaney would say discussing Keith Richards...NOT FUNNNNNNNNNAY!!!!
Blue Ruin (2013)
Not ungodly bad
It's not a terrible movie. But during it I got so bored I decided to go for a run. I'm like 5 7 and 230 pounds, so that's not a normal thing for me, but it was preferable to finishing the movie.
The Lodge (2019)
A movie so bad I had to write a review
I can only hope this serves to save someone else almost 2 hours of their life.
The only horror in this movie is that someone spent time and effort to make it.
To say it's terrible and nothing happens would be an insult to other movies that are terrible and have nothing happen.
Some movies are so bad that they make you root for the bad guy - for this one I rooted for the sweet release of death, for myself, to get me away from this god awful trash.
And I don't know how anyone could write a spoiler for this movie and it was already spoiled by everyone associated with it.
Emelie (2015)
Probably the worst movie I've ever finished
I don't write many reviews - but this movie was just so ungodly bad I had to. Please, please, please save your time and money and life and skip this. At first absolutely nothing happens, and then when things do happen they're stupid.
It tries so hard to avoid horror movie tropes that it has no story or action or point. The character are dumb, they make no sense and actions have no consequences.
It's like if the movie was one giant plot hole but also boring and pointless.
Killing Ground (2016)
Awful awful movie
One of the worse and just boring movies I have ever seen. Especially when it's supposed to be a horror thriller.
It's one where you are almost rooting for everyone to die just to end the torment of the movie quicker.
I barely made it through the movie, please learn from my mistakes and save yourself an hour and a half.