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darkhatmanagain
Reviews
Spplat Attack (2002)
The best cleaning simulator i have ever seen.
I's seems a bit impossible to put my emotion into words here... But i'll try! Spplat Attack from 2002 has to "bee" the best movie ever since the Little Bee movie from Brazil, with amazing characters portrayed as the wonderful actor William Shatting, which got most of he's face from the Star Trek series and Homestuck. The plot of this movie is simply... Cleaning! (My way of saying thrilling to be in the theme of the movie funny joke) And has to have one of the nicest home made soundtracks ever, with some of the musicians reminding me allot of Death Grips. I simply feel sad that other humans on this planet cannot simply comprehend the quality and effort of this film, like if you see all of these scores on IMDb, you will notice they are all low... That simply sickens me, I believe i can live in a world in which this doesn't have to be tolerated by sane warriors like myself. It also makes me sad that people such as feminists ruin all the fun for all the men in this entire universe! C,mon it was just a joke. These things I just said where quotes from the movie and not actually my ramblings, trust me... I'm a reviewer and I know how to properly review a movie. In a nutshell, you should watch this movie, it is by far the best movie to include cleaning and vice versa. Peace out.
Bee Movie (2007)
Possibly the worse high budget 3D Movie ever.
The fact that this was funded by many people still makes it hard to conceive, it tries so hard to have a plot and then just fails miserably considering it's plot is of a Bee loving a human. Now i simply hate to see when people try to pull off stuff like this in a movie, or in any media related form of art possible. For Example: Sonic 2006, with the Princess and Sonic the Hedgehog thing going on. The ending is all around a excuse to show that bees are useful and the fact that they use a bad female version of a Beatles song doesn't help to make it FEEL like something good, it just rots horribly and stinks like a dead corpse. Kind of like a bad cheese of some sort... I don't why i'm trying to compare it with food but i just wanted to say something witty and memorable. I'm sorry but i can't even put effort into this review considering of the fury of the fact that it simply SO BAD. The fact that it's written by Jerry Seinfeld doesn't surprise me, the humor is bland as hell and the only thing that the movie has gone to coming funny is pretty much puns related to bugs which are pretty much overused allot and Jerry must be in hes little corner thinking "HAHA oh man i added Bee to a famous actor! How GENIUS!". And that's another thing that i hate about this movie, the cultural references. It's like they keep showing every time, and I MEAN allot, that they simply ran out of ideas and i don't blame them one bit, to make a idea of a movie simply about bees and the abuse of bee work is insane. Why would you make a VEGAN propaganda to insects? Sorry to compare this to A bug's Life (which is a insanely better movie, but one of Pixar's most forgettable) but that is a good bug 3d movie done right, considering it compares the Ant colony and grasshopers to a social commentary of some sort, and that's kind of deep. This movie on the other side? Simply shows: "Bees doing bees stuff, HUMANS RUIN BEES!!! UMMM... BEES IN A JUSTICE COURT! MOSQUITO IS LAWYER, Suddenly HUMANS UNDERSTAND BEES AND STUFF!". I know Dreamworks movies keep on using these these flaws most of the time during there movies but considering i came from the future and just watched there new movies such as Puss and Boots and How to Train a Dragon, they learned how to drop the cultural reference and focus on plot, characters and beautiful action scenes. This is on the other side... Is possi-BEE(How ironic to use a pun in this review)one of Dreamwork's WORSE and brings a example of how bad Dreamwork can be.
This movie just just keeps buzzing in my ear like a annoying bee. I do not recommend it and there are much better films to enjoy or watch with your children, Puss in Boots as i gave a example. That made my young sister feel so happy unlike this bore fest where she simply keeps asking questions during the entire movie such as "Why is this so bad?".
Baby Police (2003)
Maybe the best movie to come out of Africa in a good while!
I cannot believe no one i know hasn't watched this, it should be considered the Citizen Cane of African movies! You see Baby Police is GROUND breaking for it's time being, it's almost REVOLUTIONARY not only in terms of filmography but in terms of poetry, music, video games and humanity ITSELF! The story is based on a baby, that might in fact be one of the smartest babies alive, in fact i enjoy comparing this movie to Baby Geniuses by Bob Clark, of course this is a unfair comparison... Baby Police wins obviously by a MILE! Dada is so smart he can outsmart the entire village he habitats! He's enjoys playing pranks on inferior people than him and he knows how to survive in the cruel world of Africa by stealing TVs and tricking several other people all to survive the African Mecha Wars. A Truly beautiful struggle if i say myself, there where scenes of him that brang me to tears of how strong a baby can be! In fact this movie should be shown to all the babies considering i believe it would increase the brain size of a human TEN FOLD, thus making the human race evolve more and MORE! As the title says, he does become a Police in the last minutes (this shouldn't be a spoiler due to the fact that the title already gives away the entire plot) and later on has to do Police stuff due to a punishment, this struggle of him and the police also brang me to tears because he couldn't smoke weed while in front of the police force and that really is something PRETTY worrying! The dialog in this movie is as good as filmography gets, they are so emotional and symbolic and in my opinion this movie may be the most quotable movie of all times. Phrases such as "You are the No." and "God Speed, Bring the Weed." are always to be kept in my heart for it has helped me confront my fears in life.
For me Baby Police was like being a starving baby in Africa later to be feed the most delicious and tummy-fulling dish of all the planet cooked by Gordon Ramsay! Needles to say, it didn't also save me from dying but it made happy with the most delicious thing i ever ate. I totally recommend this movie for people who grandma's are dying and have a sense of culture in there hearts.