Count_Elvis_III Reviews

The Long Riders (1980)

The Long Riders

[8/10 · 13 June 2011]

Walter Hill is a favorite director of mine. His "The Warriors" is a great surrealistic portrayal of street gang violence while "Southern Comfort" ranks high on my list as one of the best hixploitation offerings of the 1980's and one of the few that takes the side of the hicks. Anyway, between those two films he made "The Long Riders" a great and sympathetic portrayal of the James-Younger gang that roamed Reconstruction era Missouri, robbing banks, raiding passer byers and generally causing problems for the local authorities. Anyway, "The Long Riders" is a solid film. It boasts several fine performances including from real life brothers which added an extra level of realism. Furthermore, the cinematography is beautiful as it perfectly captures the beauty and horror of the South. Walter Hill also gives the film a very tight sense of direction and the script is very well crafted. And no review of "The Long Riders" is complete without mention of the score by Ry Cooder as it really seals the deal on this film. In particular I was impressed with his song "I'm a Good Old Rebel" which is based on a poem actually written by a Confederate veteran after the war. Overall a really cool and enjoyable film that fits along nicely beside Walter Hill's other films, even if it is missing the "B-movie vibe" of "The Warriors" or "Southern Comfort".

Bloody Birthday (1981)

Cool killer kid offering

[7/10 · 12 June 2011]

Alright, here is the scoop this time around: in 1970 three kids were born under a solar eclipse, and because of this, both the sun and the moon were blocking Saturn, thus the kids are born with no emotion. The kids don't really show it until around their tenth birthday where they start killing suckers. Anyway, as a whole I enjoyed "Bloody Birthday". It has a cool premise and is fairly well acted. Add to that some above average performances and a couple of cool kills and you have one of the more respectable offerings from the early 1980's horror scene. It's certainly better than most uninspired "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th" knockoffs. The music is heavily inspired by both the scores of "Jaws" and "Psycho", but still works save for one small bit. There are a few gripes I have with this film that really brings it down, which is a drag. For one, the kids never really stick to a MO. Now, I'm not talking about a slasher movie where no two kills are the same. That would have been groovy. No, what happens in this movie is that sometimes the kids kill someone outright, while sometimes they try and make it look like an accident. They should have stuck to something. Also, this film has a lot of gaps in logic, but never to the point where it becomes part of the film's charm. Another thing that bugged me about this flick is that there is not a single child who dies. I love watching little kids buy the farm, so when not a single one died, I was sad. Still, it has a cool final chase scene and the ending shot is boss. Oh, and props to one of the characters for having a Blondie poster.

Deadly Prey (1987)

The bestest

[10/10 · 11 June 2011]

Ask a group of people what the best movie ever made is, and you'll get a lot of different answers. Some will say "Star Wars", some "Citizen Kane", some "Taxi Driver" while others will say "The 400 Blows". They are all wrong, because the best movie ever made in "Deadly Prey". Now some, particularly the losers who like "Citizen Kane" will disagree with this, but much like the crowd that crucified Jesus, they know not what they do. Anyway, "Deadly Prey" is super-duper neato because it has all the elements a classic movie should have like scalping, arms being cut off, lots of shootings, stabbings, a guy fighting a tank, a guy getting a hand grenade in his pants and other such goodies. It also has Ted Prior in the role of Mike Danton, who as the film's tagline tells us was not only the best in Vietnam, but also remains the best. He was truly robbed at Oscar time, as this is not only the finest performance of the 1980's, but also of all movies ever made. He is boss and so is Cameron Mitchell. Cameron Mitchell plays this old cop who is able to infiltrate a militia camp without being caught. This movie is also a great mystery as we are never told why exactly all this is happening. I like that, as I hate when movies feel the need to spell everything out for the audience. Thankfully "Deadly Prey" has far more respect for the intelligence of its audience and that's why it is boss. Seriously, this film is totally groovy from the first frame to the last frame and if you don't like it then you are stupid. I know it sounds harsh, but it's also true, so there.

Death Wish Club (1984)

Wild girls walking down the street

[8/10 · 9 June 2011]

As an avid fan of exploitation films I picked up Steven Thrower's "Nightmare USA" as soon as it came out. For those of you not in the know, "Nightmare USA" is THE book for American exploitation horror films made between 1970 and 1985 and is full of reviews and interviews highlighting many forgotten classics. As with any good film guide, "Nightmare USA" came complete with a checklist of all the films that the parameters of the book covers. And as a movie geek, I am going to try and watch ALL those films one day. I know I'm never going to do it, but it's been fun hunting down all these rare films. As I watch more and more of these films, the quality has begun to decline as I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel more and more. Still, occasionally a film does surprise you, like this number from 1983, "Death Wish Club". Now, this film is best known for being used a few years later in "Night Train to Terror", which I have yet to see, but I think it should be known in its own right. This film is a totally bizarre assault on sanity, so I don't want to spoil anything by trying and explain the plot, but let's just say that it you dig weird and offbeat films that often make very little sense, you'll dig this. In addition to its weirdness this film also contains some tasty nudity and some very cool scenes that involve a club for really sick people. Overall a solid and enjoyable offering, fans of oddball cinema will want to check it out. Now keep in mind its horror elements are very subdued, but the other elements work well, so it's actually not a big loss as long as you go into it knowing what to expect.

How to Make a Monster (1958)

I was a Teenage Murderer

[8/10 · 8 June 2011]

While filming a combination sequel to "I was a Teenage Werewolf" and "I was a Teenage Frankenstein" (perhaps they could call it "I was a Teenage Werewolf who met a Teenage Frankenstein"? It's a shame that movie was never made) Pete Dumond, the make-up artist of 25 years is fired from his job after the studio, American International Studios is sold and the new owners decide to stop making horror movies and make more musicals. Ole Pete then does what any red blooded American would do, drugging and hypnotizing the young stars of the monster mash up to go kill various people at the studio in hopes of shutting it down. Anyway, I found "How to make a Monster" to be one of the more enjoyable late 1950's AIP pictures I've seen. Not only is it a loving tribute to the man behind the Universal Monster films, Jack Pierce. It's also filled with references to make of AIP's own movies. Likewise it's well shot and has a creative script. The acting, although not great isn't bad enough to distract from the overall fun atmosphere of the film. And that's why one watches a film like this, to have fun. Yeah it's a drive-in flick and no one will ever confuse it for great art, yet it's still far better made on a technical level than it really had to be. Still, "How to Make a Monster" could have been improved. For one, the ending feels a bit rushed and the film ends too abruptly, thereby not generating the tension that should have been there. Overall though a solid and enjoyable film for AIP fans.

Sugar Cookies (1973)

Slightly above average sexploit.

[5/10 · 7 June 2011]

A year before he founded Troma Studios, Lloyd Kaufman made the sexploitation offering "Sugar Cookies". And while the fact that "Sugar Cookies" is essentially a Troma movie before Troma is interesting from a historical viewpoint, the film itself is only slightly above average. As expected with this type of film, "Sugar Cookies" is thin on the plot. Here is the deal, a sleazy film producer kills an actress but makes it look like suicide. Her lesbian lover then goes out and seeks revenge. That's about it. As a general rule, sexploitation has aged the worst out of all the exploitation genres as it was superseded by the arrival of the porn film, thus rendering many films that would have been considered risqué during the 50's and 60's tame by the 70's. "Sugar Cookies" is a little better in this regard as it does contain a good deal of nudity as well as sex scenes, but it still comes across as being very tame. This wouldn't be as big of problem if this film wasn't so plagued with pacing issues. It really does creep along at a snail's pace at times. Still, there are a few things about "Sugar Cookies" I enjoyed. As far as the more exploitable elements go, the actresses in this movie are very hot and the sex and nudity is well done. As for more traditional elements go, "Sugar Cookies" is well acted and the script is better than I expected, In addition, the first 10 and last 10 minuets are well crafted and engaging, sadly however the rest of the film cannot live up to that, rendering the film above average at best. There certainly are worse sexploitation movies to watch, hell some of them are nearly unwatchable, but the genre also has better offerings as well.

Red to Kill (1994)

Red to Thrill!

[10/10 · 7 June 2011]

Man, these Hong Kong CAT III films really are a sight to behold! Like this number from 1994, "Red to Kill", which is not only the best CAT III film I've seen so far, but also one of the most solid rape/ revenge flicks I've watched. Now, for those of you who have no idea what CAT III is, it's a rating in the HK film system, basically the equivalent of a hard R/ NC-17 in the MPAA's system. Because it's not technically a genre, but rather a rating, CAT III films are really diverse, but when most people use CAT III to describe a film, they're talking about a particular type of CAT III films that are often filled with rape, gore and other taboo subject matter, often adding a good helping of goofy comedy to the mix. Anyway, the plot to "Red to Kill" is both absurd and absolutely tasteless. It's about a guy who runs a school for retarded people by day and rapes as well as sometimes murders women wearing red at night. You see, when this guy was a little kid he watched his mother, who was wearing red kill his father with the help of her boyfriend. During the struggle, his mother fell on a meat cleaver, killing her as well. Well, flash forward a few years later and the sight of red on a woman is enough to make this guy go bonkers. After raping and murdering a few nameless women at the start of the film he rapes one of his students. She survives and testifies against him in court, but the guy gets off Scott free, so her sister decides to bring justice, HK CAT III style! Any who, "Red to Kill" is a sweet film. It has a very groovy score and well as a solid script for a film like this. Likewise it boasts several strong performances and director Bill Tang brings a lot of imagination to this one, handling all the different elements of this film very nicely. I also dug the scenes where the rapist stalks his victims as it has a very gritty feel that would be right at home alongside two of the most notorious American exploitation offerings of the early 1980's, "Maniac" and "Don't Go in the House". Overall a really solid and enjoyable film, check it out if you like mess up movies, otherwise you MIGHT want to stay clear of this one.