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damnrite
Reviews
Hell Asylum (2002)
HOUSE ON A HAUNTED HILL ANYONE?
*hangs head in shame* I quite liked this movie. the crappy camera work and storyline added to it [shock, horror]! however, can anyone tell me why someone would bother making a movie sooooo much like another movie (probably hoping that no1 will notice)? It was exactly like a cheap version of house on a haunted hill and notably, about an hour shorter (i decided i must have been really drunk when it turned out the film was only just over an hour long!!!). Secondly, (SPOILER, maybe) when the two ghosts r eating amber's stomach (which is retarded in itself, y would they do that???), it's obviously just red spaghetti which the 'make-up' department have dumped on her belly. r intestine's really that thin? well, it's not like she'd eaten in 5 years, so that can be excused. May i also point out the shame that was the position of Rainbow's legs? jesus save us all if that can happen from falling down about six steps!
Raptor (2001)
MORE MISTAKES !!!
OK, so most people have noticed the thing with the orange men that do nothing, but what about all the other mistakes people?! 1) After the 'sex scene' ( i use the term lightly as it is about as sexy as cold sick), the actress (forgive me 4 not wanting to know her name) is wearing no lipstick wotsoeva, but when she is back inside the truck her lips r bright pink! 2) When someone reports that there are 'two dead bodies' in the back of a car the last thing you expect to see is two moving bodies (give us some credit people!). It's as though they could only afford 1 roll of film for each scene! 3) Thirdly, the particular part which had me rolling around laughin was wen u see a couple of fat dudes slowly jogging at a gentle rate and then one of the military peeps screaming into his walky-talky "we have employees moving at a rapid pace down the corridor". The fat guys running was jokes enough,but the comment as well?! 4) Everytime sum1 is wearing sunglasses u can see the cameras filming back @ u. Also, in one scene u can see a microphone taped inside a man's coat. 5) Not so much a mistake, but we timed the sex scene and it was 7mins and 41secs. Now correct me of i'm wrong, but a blatantly looped sex scene throughout which the couple stay in one position and dont even orgasm is hardly a turn-on. 6) Again, not so much a mistake as just being funny: when they go to the labs and talk about how they found top-secret info on the "internet" (what the f***?!!!). However, through the darkness, there was a glistening light, a sign of hope and glory that came in the form of the character... Lyle. For those who havent seen the film, picture this... You have decided to quit your job (which involved illegally breeding dinosaurs) and you're about to leave when your master-mind evil ex-boss asks you to go to the 'laser room' (wouldnt the name give it away?), where u know a T-Rex is being held. Now, for no earthly explainable reason u decide to go anyway and stand rite infront of the T-REx... Inevitably: you die.
I rest my case.