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BrianSingleton
Reviews
Frozen (2010)
Practical photography creates an authentic and truly terrifying experience!
As a huge horror fan, a horror filmmaker, and a life-long east coast snowboarder, I can appreciate Frozen from all perspectives. The idea is something that anyone who's ever been on a chair lift will instantly identify with and it's terrifying. And the fact that Green insisted on shooting this entire movie practically with no CGI, green screen or sound stage is the main reason it works so well simply because you know what your seeing is real. The cinematography is excellent with sweeping arial views of the suspended characters and dizzying perspective shots of the winter surroundings so far below, which keep reminding you where you are and why you're trapped along with them. The acting is tremendous and the talented cast deserves serious credit for enduring the brutal elements and long nights to achieve such authenticity. Despite only having 3 characters and 1 location, the cast does an excellent job of keeping you glued to your seat (so to speak). The actors are do a great job of balancing humour with horror to create moving moments of laughter, sadness, despair, heartbreak and true fear, and the sense of danger in the action scenes is almost unbearable at times. Frozen is completely believable in every respect (contrary to what some critics might say). The jump from the chair lift shown in the trailer is one of the most horrific and painful things I've ever seen on film. The entire audience cringed at the same time. As a snowboarder, I can honestly say the characters reacted exactly as I, or anyone else, might have (though I would have kept my board on to jump!). And from living in small town Canada all my life, I can attest to the authenticity of the wildlife elements as well, which are equally as terrifying as hanging from a broken chair lift. FROZEN is a movie destined for cult status at every ski hill in America, or at least it should be.
Ghost Lake (2004)
drowning in ghost tears
This is just another STV "horror" movie that plagues video stores everywhere. There is nothing I want more than a resurgence of good horror movies, but films like "Ghost Lake" do everything possible to ensure this never happens. The movie is garbage from start to finish; horribly written, shot, acted and edited. Even the minimal zombie make-up can't save it. I wasted $6.50 at Blockbuster with this one, and I've done the same thing countless times before out of desperation and a faint hope than someday, somewhere, someone will make a horror movie we've all been waiting for. As a horror filmmaker myself, I say give me the budget for Ghost Lake and I'll show you how it's done.
Skinned Deep (2004)
The "Malevolence" syndrome
Speaking as both a horror filmmaker and a true horror fan, movies like Skinned Deep are very frustrating to watch. This movie is very similar to the new Anchor Bay release, "Malevolence". Aside from having titles that have nothing to do with the movie at all, both filmmakers plagiarize countless horror classics and do it shamelessly. The movie is a terrible clone of House of 1000 Corpses with scenes and characters stolen from this, TCM2, Hills Have Eyes, Basket Case, and Wild Angels. One of the most obvious rip-offs is the scene of Brain running through New York City naked just like Dwayne did in Basket Case. Something that bizarre is not a coincidence. Of course, not all films have to be completely original to work. Even the oldest horror premise is still a good one, if done properly, but not here.
All characters aside, the film-making itself is even worse. The directing and editing are clumsy and careless for most scenes, with dialog (and a script) that's practically incoherent. With the exception of good performances by Karoline Brandt and Warwick Davis, the acting is the same as the directing. The make-up and costumes for some characters are well done and the elaborate gore FX are entertaining, but it seems that the FX were the only reason this film was made in the first place? Gabe Bartalos also wastes the budget on an elaborate bullet-time photography sequence for the final "explosion". The maximum effort and minimal result will leave any filmmaker scratching their head (or banging it against a wall). The entire film is mostly painful to sit through, especially the end credits scrolling on a black screen with the lead actress screaming for literally ten minutes straight. Even SAW cut the scream after the first credit. Even Forey Ackerman's brief cameo can't save it.
This entire movie makes me angry is because I know there are better scripts and far better filmmakers out there who are not being given the chance to make a truly excellent horror film that gives this genre, and it's fans, the respect it deserves. Fangoria should have spent their money on a different movie.
The Amityville Horror (2005)
someone please bring back real horror movies!
For starters, I'm not one of these guys who spends all day writing IMDb reviews, at least not for movies like this, and I'm sure my opinion is just as worthless as the next guy's, but if you want the thoughts of a real horror movie fan, please continue.
If anyone thinks that the Amityville remake is a great horror movie, you're either you're not a horror fan at all, or you're so young you think horror movies began with The Ring (or for the slightly older crowd, the Scream trilogy). For those who know anything about good horror, or good film for that matter, you'll know better than to praise this worthless piece of recycled trash.
Andrew Douglas's new Amityville is typical Hollywood-remake formula garbage: bigger, louder, faster, flashier, clichéd, contrived & pointless with no substance and plenty of predictable spoon-fed scares delivered by loud musical cues and strobelight effects. All of this is obvious in the first 10 seconds and it just gets worse from there. Despite the fact that this film makes countless unnecessary changes to the original story including the addition of a token "little dead girl in a dress" appearing in every mirror and window, the movie still has nothing new to offer anyone, even if you pretend it's not a remake and accept the movie on it's own.
Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds does give a good performance as George Lutz and the children in the film are surprisingly realistic looking, sympathetic, and well played, unlike the typical parade of irritating child actors ("The Godsend", "The Sixth Sense", "Hide and Seek"). But, even good performances are still overshadowed by the trendy flash-editing techniques that plague every modern horror film these days. The overblown rapid-fire cuts, ridiculous excess of shots, and neverending CGI FX create another cookie-cutter haunted house movie like predecessors House on Haunted Hill, The Haunting, The Grudge, Boogeyman etc.
One of the worst scenes in the film features the Lutz's creepy new babysitter posing suggestively on the bed of their barley teenage son, Adam, and asking him "Do you French?", then gets herself locked in a closet by the "new" Jody (little dead girl in a dress). The rest of the fun in this film comes from spotting all the great nostalgia of the decade in the children's bedroom's (the decade being the 1970's, although the movie does it's best to hide this fact because no good horror movie ever takes place in the 70's, right?). Among the throwback items are the original Operation game, Light Brite, and Kiss posters.
Take it from someone who knows real horror (George Romero, John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper, Lucio Fulci, Sam Raimi etc), The Amityville remake is just as bad as all the other horror remakes. However, on a positive note, if you want an example of one recent horror remake that's truly outstanding, watch Glenn Morgan and James Wong's remake of Willard staring Crispin Glover, it's a masterpiece!
The Last Horror Movie (2003)
good movie, bad marketing
The Last Horror Movie is a well-executed, intense, & highly disturbing horror film with an excellent concept that suffers from a thoughtless marketing campaign.
For anyone who doesn't know, the film is about a man named Max Parry who documents his life, family, job, and self-committed murders with a video camera, then rents a teen slasher called "The Last Horror Movie" from several video stores and records over it with his own film (I suppose that's the spoiler, although the box cover says that already?) First off, this movie should have been released at least 5 years ago or more, when VHS was still mainstream. The movie should have been distributed on videotape with the same packaging as the film that was featured in the movie itself called "The Last Horror Movie". This would have made the entire premise a secret to anyone who hadn't heard of it, therefore making the movie itself actually seem real, and consequently far more disturbing to anyone unaware.
A great example of a film with this type of successful marketing is "The Blair Witch Project", which made every attempt to pass itself off as fact, when it was entirely fiction. The filmmakers made false police reports, testimonies, folklore, history and archival footage to ensure that every audience believed it was real. Even though the distribution, packaging, and hype ruined the gag very quickly, it created a lot of controversy for a while.
"The Last Horror Movie" could have had similar success, although, unlike Blair Witch, would probably never have been shown in American theaters due the intense graphic violence that studios embrace with blockbuster action films (Bad Boys 2, Pearl Harbour etc) yet cut and censor with independent films (Last House on the Left, Eaten Alive, High Tension etc).
Because the entire concept of The Last Horror Movie thrives solely on believability, the movie will not be effective at all if it's not believable. The only way to ensure that an audience truly believes that what they are seeing is real is to make every aspect of a film as realistic as possible, not just the film itself. The distributors did nothing to help filmmaker Julian Richards' movie reach the high potential it could have had. This is a great film with strong performances and disturbingly realistic content very similar to one of the best horror movies ever made, John McNaughton's "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer".
If you like truly disturbing and original horror rather than Hollywood remake trash, this is the one to watch. A little imagination and a suspension of disbelief should work just fine.
Beyond the Seventh Door (1987)
Lazar Rockwood: The Making of a Legend
Shot near Toronto, Ontario, this proudly Canadian horror film is truly one-of-a-kind. Beyond the 7th Door is a testament of shear, provocative film-making brilliance in the same league as the world heavyweight champion, "Science Crazed" (truly and indisputably, the worst movie ever made...and I dare you to prove me wrong!)
A trashy couple take a painfully slow journey through an empty castle with seven rooms of deadly traps in search of a mysterious millionaire's hidden treasure. The pair are guided by the voice of a man sounding identical to the voice of Canadian actor Dan Woods (aka Mr. Raditch on the original, and far superior, Degrassi series). Woods is not credited, but the voice is a dead ringer. You be the judge.
Story aside, Beyond the 7th Door is particularly infamous for the casting of phenom actor Lazar Rockwood, the movie's hypnotically hideous "leading man". Rockwood looks like a real-life version of Moe the Bartender crossed with The Toxic Avenger, his presence is nothing short of mesmerizing. Playing an ex-convict named Boris, Rockwood struggles through every line of every scene with broken English and autistic body language. Jerking and twitching spastically, wagging his tongue about, waving his tape measure and Batman-style tool belt, and hopelessly trying to maintain some small shred of dignity, Rockwood literally chews the scenery!
Forced to endure Rockwood's company is the only other cast in the film, Boris's ex-girlfriend and partner in crime, Wendy (or as Lazar might say, "Vendy"), played by Bonnie Beck. Beck is a porno-calibre actress, but next to Lazar, you mistake her for Katherine Hepburn. In a memorable exchange at a coffee shop, Wendy criticizes Boris by saying, "Boris, you're not even a good thief!". Rockwood earnestly replies, "I'm getting better!". Outstanding.
However, the true horror of Beyond the 7th Door is watching a shirtless and sexually charged Lazar Rockwood ravage Wendy's unfortunate body in a dirty, sludge-filled basement. The punchline being that she actually requests this! (I suspect this may have happened between takes and was accidentally caught on film, then thrown in by director Bennedikt for reality TV shock value...though it's a theory)
The hands-down greatest moment in the film is Rockwood jump kicking through a cement wall, flying mullet and all! This should have been looped at least a dozen times, then a dozen more in slow motion. It's genius! The second best part could have been the ultimate death of Boris in the final moments caused, appropriately, by his own unthinkable incompetence... but Rockwood can't even DIE properly! His body explodes OFF camera with not a trace of blood to be seen! (Though this does set it up for Beyond the 7th Door 2: Beyond the 8th Door! Did Rockwood really die? Who knows?)
In the end, Beyond the 7th Door leaves you with many more questions than answers, mostly about Rockwood himself and the events surrounding his involvement. Although these questions will likely never be answered, when the final credits role you will be left dumbfounded and perplexed for weeks to come.
Since Hollywood is on a never ending bender of butchering classic films in remake or "re-imagining" format, I suggest remaking this one. I also would like a Special Edition DVD of Beyond the 7th Door with 5 commentary tracks of Lazar Rockwood reciting one-liners from the film and a 3 hour featurette documenting Rockwood's entire career. A full-colour photo gallery of Rockwood would also be nice, plus some shirtless promotional stills and half a dozen international trailers.
I'll be waiting with my money on the table.
Science Crazed (1991)
The Ultimate Horror Film!
Canadian film-maker Ron Switzer delivers a solid, non-stop thrill ride of relentless horror with the superb 1991 sci-fi film "Science Crazed". A hideous monster takes revenge on his mother, a police officer and tenants of an apartment building. Brilliant practical make-up and special effects designs create a truly terrifying monster, especially when lurking through the atmospheric shadows and smoke of the gloomy apartment settings. The characters are developed beautifully with outstanding and surprisingly touching performances from an ensemble cast. Produced by Donna Switzer, newcomer Ron Switzer also penned the film's face-paced script, weaving together an engaging roller-coaster ride of twists, turns, and terror that keeps you guessing until the last frame. Science Crazed will no doubt leave you haunted long after the shocking conclusion. Highly recommended!