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Reviews
CockHammer (2009)
This is not Troma
Pretty basic storyline, two slackers have to save their girlfriends from demons. I like low budget film, I have been a fan of Troma since the early eighties. I don't really have a problem with non professional actors and cheesy makeup and effects. This film has good sound at least, many low budget indie films have sound levels all over the place, so you have to keep altering the volume. What gets me is the inane drivel that keeps coming out of their mouths! Is this their idea of humour? I watched this movie with the sound turned down and it actually enhanced the experience. Is that irony? good sound values, but such bad dialogue I turned it off. About on par with Filthy McNasty.
The Kung Fu Mummy (2005)
not a serious movie
This is not a serious movie, it is played for laughs all the way. Unlike some of these shows, this one is actually pretty funny in a kooky sort of way. I didn't realize going into it that it was like that, and was wondering about plot and character problems, but when you figure out it's just for laughs you can just sit back and enjoy. The sound is a problem as it always seems to be in these low budget movies. Music is much louder than the dialog, fortunately the plot is pretty thin so you don't miss much. A bit of nudity, crap special effects, some great jokes- what more could you want? Don't critique it, enjoy it. Hope this helped.
Storm of the Dead (2006)
I liked it
I'm stuck at home with a broken hand and have been trawling youtube for free full length movies. I've watched a lot of rubbish and I think this one is above par.
It is the typical band of misfits, the grizzled commander and his mate, the whiny milk sop and the shy man child, and the feisty tomboy who's the best soldier in the platoon(and not afraid to wash with the guys). Also the reporter who they have to take along, who eventually falls in love.
The action is kind of slow in parts, but if you've ever walked through the scrub looking for something, you'd realise nothing happens in a hurry.
There are plenty of plot holes and continuity errors, and who on earth cast a blonde white girl as the younger version of an old black woman who doesn't look old at all.
And it's free to watch on youtube.
Bloodsucking Redneck Vampires (2004)
Hilarious
This is what the scary movie series should have been!!
Heaps of vampire in-jokes as newly changed vamps, not aware of their situation fall prey to clichéd accidental killings.
I laughed out loud all the way through. The dialog contains many great quips, and there is of course a bean eating and subsequent farting scene.
The biggest problem was the way it would change between night and day between scenes. This was annoying, but not so much to stop me thoroughly enjoying this movie.
And then there was one-eyed Lurlene...
Cannibal Suburbia (2008)
I hope none of my tax dollars went to make this
We have made very few good movies in Australia. Stuck at home with a broken hand, I have been trawling YouTube looking for low budget horror films and was lucky enough to find Deader Country, which was funny, gory and gratuitous. When I stumbled across another Aussie film, I was actually looking forward to watching it. How disappointing. This movie starts nowhere and goes nowhere. The stories are nonsensical and only the last one has an ending. The two hosts, a man with clown make up and a naked man with something over his head are presented as celebrities, but I have never heard of them. I did watch the whole thing, and it was full length and free on YouTube, so I guess it has that in it's favour.
The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made: The Re-Make (2008)
I wonder why it was re made
It states that this is a remake of an earlier movie that was taken out of circulation. I can't imagine a lamer movie than this, so if this is the remake I guess the first was atrocious. Bill tries hard, and I am a fan, but this is like watching Date Movie, where every cliché and stereotype is trotted out to try and make it the ultimate parody but ultimately falls flat.
I won't go through the plot but will just touch on the things he tries to offend with- treatment of women, Christianity, rape, gay rape, gays in military, feces, bad puns (axe me about it) and other stuff that I just can't remember.
I watched this movie some time ago, but had to watch it again for this review because it's just not memorable.
It is still however a must see, because Hey! it's Bill Zebub and you don't want to miss one of his.
Zombie Driftwood (2010)
What is wrong with you people?
This is hilarious!!! There are so many gags hidden in this movie. From the ticker tape under the news reader to all the undead jokes through it, it is just hilarious. My whole family was screaming with laughter watching it. The premise is simple. Cruise ship disappears in Bermuda Triangle, turns up empty and then the passengers come ashore as undead. They don't quite understand what has happened, so as well as eating people they still do all the touristy stuff, like drinking, dancing and buying souvenirs. The zombies get influence in the media and government and make laws to stop them being shot out of hand. Just watch it, it's so funny. This is so much better than Shaun.
The Dead and the Damned (2011)
much better than I expected
This was great, much better than expected with a cliché title like that. Follows the classic western plot of bounty hunter with a past and a purpose chasing wanted man who is actually innocent. They of course end up teaming up, though the end is surprising. Various horror movie gratuitous nudity shots, spying on woman bathing, and running through forest with top falling open, all classic horror scenes. As I said, I was really surprised at how good this was, although it should be noted that he left town on a horse with a full stripe on it's face, then camped with a horse with only a star, but had the full stripe when he reached town again. They were also different colours. I didn't notice, but my wife pointed it out to me. Also the bush tracks were often graded roads and some had wheel tracks. Better than some of the crap I've watched lately.