nasteen8 Reviews

Melancholie der Engel (2009)

Art house sickness, with far too much content.

[5/10 · 31 March 2014]

I picked up a copy of this film back in 2010 but was highly disappointed when I found there were no subtitles, so for a long time I had no idea what was going on. Sufficed to say, I finally found the subtitles so I can properly give this title a review.

Many people may regard this as a horror film, due to the horrific content, but to me this is about as far from horror as you can get. There's no build up of tension, no jarring moments (other than the extreme gore, excrement and decay) and no backstory. This is as art house as art house gets, and if you've seen any of Marian Dora's other films, you know what you're getting. At first glance, this film is rather tedious and underwhelming. But after really watching it, I found the cinematography to be rather awesome. To me this film portrays decay and death rather well. You can almost smell the rotting flesh, human excrement and other foul stenches you would find in an open air mass grave. Marian Dora certainly knows how to portray putrefaction and disgust. This sort of film will have it's supporters and it's definite critics, as it should, but perhaps that's just because it's so hard to define. The acting was mediocre, the script a bit overplayed but well made and the camera work quite well for the obvious small budget. So I'll give it high marks on these merits. There's one thing that I absolutely hate...

The animal cruelty. No movie producer should ever feel the need to kill a cat on camera for shock value. That's just stupid, wrong, and should be punishable by prison time. I give this film a big fat ZERO for the use of several animals for death scenes. I can look past the pig slaughter, because you eat a pig after you kill it. But just wasting an animal for no reason? That's terrible. Torturing a human on camera, or smearing excrement on them, or whatever is fine because people have the cognition to understand what's happening, a cat does not.

For the latter part of this review, I will never be supporting Marian Dora's work from this point forward. This is sad because I really like his work as an artist, but I cannot get behind art that harms animals for no reason. I give this a 5 star only on the merits it deserves, if it had been without the cruelty, I would have rated it far higher and I would be purchasing all of his work.

Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead (2011)

Classic Tokyo Shock flick.

[9/10 · 14 December 2013]

Rather than looking at the title of this flick and thinking "oh, another stupid American style zombie flick", you should definitely be considering this as a Japanese action/gore/over the top madness flick. If you've seen this director's other films (Machine Girl, Tokyo Gore Police), then you know exactly what you're getting into. Blood, gore, fecal matter, tapeworm zombies, farting, more fecal matter, spinning tapeworm heads, kung fu fighting.... etc. You get it.

Personally, I love these Tokyo Shock flicks for all they're worth. Some folks will certainly hate this stuff, cuz frankly, most Tokyo Shock is absolutely bizarre and weirdly fetishistic. But hey, if you can't laugh at some tentacle rape and ridiculous farting tapeworm zombies, why are you even here? Lighten up, have some fun and pop in a good ol' fashioned Japanese Shock Action flick like this and laugh a bit.

August Underground's Mordum (2003 Video)

An exercise in extreme bad taste.

[4/10 · 18 August 2013]

I've watched all of the "August Underground" films a few times and feel like I can review this one now. I won't bother with reviewing the other two, because they're basically the same thing, so why try.

First off, I'd like to point out that I've seen the worst of the worst Z grade garbage out there and this one is not as bad as those. While the dialogue and acting weren't top notch, it certainly wasn't totally horrible acting. The people in this film definitely make it quite convincing as a snuff film, so it certainly accomplishes what it set out to accomplish. I've even turned it on for a few friends and they were so shocked, they thought I had actually put on a real snuff film. I had to show them an interview with Fred Vogel just to convince them it wasn't real. The special effects were top notch, and the torture was almost too real. So if you want to see some absolutely horrendous stuff on screen, by all means go ahead. I give this film a 9 for the effects, 5 for acting....

Now, on to what I hated about this. The camera work. I can see trying to make it convincing with bad lighting, and a bit of shaky camera work, but anyone, anywhere can hold a camera on somebody. There was absolutely no reason for them to swing the camera around so wildly the entire film. I have a hard time watching this thing just because the camera work makes me angry as hell. If you can put together such amazing torture scenes and effects, why would you actively try to use a camera in such a way? There is no reason for it and it's very annoying. I give this film a big fat zero for that. If I could talk to Fred Vogel myself, I'd give him a thumbs up for effort on effects, but I'd ask why in the hell he had to make the camera work that bad. It makes this film seem way too strained.

All in all, it's a tough one to stomach, and anyone with any sense of moral comfort will probably get sick watching it. If you can see past the horrendous camera work, it's worth a watch if you like the pseudo snuff genre. All others should just avoid this thing like the plague. I give this a total of 4 stars.

Guinea Pig 5: Mermaid in the Manhole (1988 Video)

My personal favorite of the Guinea Pig series

[8/10 · 17 August 2013]

I think during the 80's, while Cronenberg and the like were showing their special effects skills, some daring Japanese directors were ready to show their might on the screen and it led to these films. All of them were put together to showcase nothing more than special effects with almost no story line whatsoever. Except this little gem!! I have to say, these films are definitely heavy on the gore, and they are way good at the special effects. They definitely caught me off guard when I saw them without knowing what I was sitting down to watch. But that's where it ends, special effects for gross out factors (which the Japanese do very well). But again, this one is a bit different than the others, so don't just write it off like perhaps "Flower of Flesh and Blood" or "Devil's Experiment".

First off, this has the artist element, as the crazy man who paints the scum and filth inside of a sewer would. And it has a very strange feeling almost from the get go. An almost bizarre art house quiet despair right from the get go. You can almost smell the rotting filth just by watching it. And that's exactly how I can explain this film, as if you watch an animal get hit by a car and watch it die, and subsequently rot to a bloody mess on the side of the road. But that's only an allegory to what the movie looks like, as the movie is perhaps an allegory to a deeper meaning.

While this film is certainly vile, and has loads of gross out factors from stem to stern, it has a certain humanity to it. Almost a beautiful love to it. And that is where this movie stands out from the others.

If you've seen the others and haven't seen this one, then definitely watch it. If you've wanted to see them, and haven't yet, definitely watch this one. If you like gross out gore cinema, then definitely watch this one. If you're weak in the stomach, then steer very far away from any of these films.

Violent Shit (1989)

Z grade shlock at it's worst/finest.

[4/10 · 17 August 2013]

I love writing reviews on films like this because there really isn't anything quite like it. Let me start off by saying I gave this... thing.... 4 stars only on the merit of violence. Because hey, this guy certainly found some interesting ways to hack, what is supposedly, a body to bits.

The blood, which looks more like cheap paint, is sprayed in gratuitous amounts all over the screen without any regard whatsoever. The props, if that's what we can call them, are dismembered and tossed with the greatest of ease by our wonderful auteur, Karl the Butcher $#!tt3R. Now that's where the greatness ends. There is nothing more to this film.... or... whatever this actually is. To say the dialogue is funny, or strained, or even acted is far too generous. These guys look like they were plucked from the dirtiest, nastiest, drug addicted scumbag corners of any inner city and plopped in front of a camera with nothing more than a promise of beer, then asked to just... talk.... while a camera is pointed at them. It's almost beyond painful to watch these guys talk to each other. And then our friend Karl shows up and steals the show!! Unfortunately, there is far too much film injected into this steaming pile which deters from the actual bits you want. Why would anyone want to watch a car drive for minute after minute with nothing in the way of a story behind it? Anyway, what can you say, this is about as low as it gets, so why even worry? Well, here you are, reading reviews on the worst of the worst, so you might as well go for it! My suggestion: Get the cheapest of grain alcohols you can find, pound a fifth of it with your most awful of friends, plop this thing in and try to get to the end. But by no means should you watch this flick with a clear head, because you won't make it. Or hey, make a drinking game: Take a shot of the cheapest vodka you can find any time blood sprays! Either way, this thing is only for the most die hard of shlock loving viewers out there. All others might as well just watch youtube videos.

Singapore Sling (1990)

And now the dead became two....

[10/10 · 9 July 2013]

How to properly review a film like this is something that has bewildered many people on here. Could you simply explain the story (as you believe it to be) or do you express your feelings after having seen it? Perhaps you must see this movie 50 times before you can properly describe it. Maybe 100? I'm not sure I can still perform this task after seeing this film so many times. Every time I watch it, new questions come up, new meanings get revealed, new disturbed beauty shines through. This film is by far and above one of the most prized cinematic gems I have in my collection and I give it all the attention it deserves.

Nikos Nikolaidis certainly shows amazing talent by creating a film such as this with so little. One house, three actors and not heavy on the dialogue, this film is about as powerful as they come. But here's the catch, it's still a mystery! Who killed Laura? Who is Laura? Who is Singapore Sling? Where did he come from? What happened to father? Was the daughter even really the daughter????? I think the story runs deep, and people seem to just see what's up on the screen and take it at face value. Notice the lack of names? Notice the use of the Greek language by only Singapore Sling? Why does the daughter not understand French if her mother speaks it regularly? Perhaps you saw this movie and loved it, and perhaps you have forgotten it in the depths of your memory. Perhaps you should seek it out and watch it a few more times.

I could go on for days about the subtle nuances and absolutely amazing musical score (that still gives me goosebumps every time I hear it). I could go on about how this film has actually affected (in a good way) my love life (not in the way you think, sickos). I could go on forever about what I think this story portrays, but perhaps it is the mystery that makes this film so endearing. As sick as it is, and as hard as some parts are to watch, it is something that will sit with you for a long time. So, don't just look at the disturbed imagery as it is, look at the characters and listen to the dialogue. Perhaps this is a tale that is beyond a simple mystery and maybe it's a sick joke on all of us. Perhaps it's just Nikos Nikolaidis blowing his proverbial genius load on to all of us. Any way you look at it, it's something that was almost lost to the complete underground but has made a small comeback.

"Forget her, forget her Singapore Sling"

Tokugawa onna keibatsu-emaki: Ushi-zaki no kei (1976)

One of the more notorious, and certainly brutal, 70's Asian exploitation flicks

[9/10 · 18 August 2012]

After a very long time, I finally tracked down a copy of this notorious flick. I had heard quite a bit about it and it's disturbing nature (I actively seek out the worst of the worst) and was rather apprehensive to say the least. Well, I definitely was not let down by this one! Holy wow, there was some incredibly sadistic torture methods and downright gut wrenching executions. I've been a hardened film viewer for some time and have seen it all, from the worst french extreme horror to the most underground Japanese flicks and this definitely ranks up with the most brutal of brutal.

Of course, this movie isn't absolutely vivid, due to the time it was released, but don't let that fool you. The violence and torture scenes are still very raw and brutal and even made me cringe a few times (and that's pretty hard to do). Everything from boiling a woman alive, roasting someone on a fire, ankle smashing and on and on. I thought I would get a cheesy 70's grindhouse flick, with all the cheese and over the top dialog expected of the usual fare, but this one smacked me right across the face from the first scene. No, this one doesn't have that silly edge to it, as many of the other flicks of this genre have. It's just downright sick and harsh from moment one. It's also a very well made movie with quite good acting and a great script. The super sadistic Shogun is VERY convincing as well as all of the victims which adds even more to the terrors that hold within. This is truly a shocker worthy of my collection and every other super gore hound's collection as well.

So, if you're seeking out another "sickest tortures on celluloid", then by all means this flick needs to be in your possession. Even if you're looking for a good period piece from the shogunate era, this will definitely suffice as well, but be warned, it is quite a ride through hell. It makes you wonder how people get away with such wanton hate and utter depravity throughout history. I give this a 9/10.. and definitely a 10 for the violence.

Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991)

Ricky Oh... The greatest warrior since BRUCE LEE

[10/10 · 17 August 2012]

So many folks on here liken this film to the gore classic "Dead Alive" that it's kind of off balance. Sure, there's all sorts of blood and guts, but that's where it ends. Dead Alive is Zombies, Ricky Oh... Well, Ricky Oh is a man... Let's just say he's a man for his time.

Obviously everyone reading the reviews knows what the hell this movie is about, so let's not try to over do it here. I'm just going to say a few choice tidbits about this fantastic film so you can just watch it. Because let's get real, if you're reading this, you obviously have some sort of interest. Well, let me just tell you now, WATCH THIS FRICKEN MOVIE. Hell, don't even watch it, go out and buy it, you won't have buyers remorse. Sure, if you like your movie all shiny and pretty like "Titanic" or "Driving Miss Daisy", then you won't like this (besides, what the hell are you doing reading these reviews anyways). BUT, if you love a good cheesy flick, then of course, you're not just going to like this, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT. Ridiculously over the top, ridiculously violent, ridiculously insane and completely entertaining. Hell, a guy hides breath mints in his fake eye, if that's not enough for you. All this time spent reading reviews could be spent watching this fantastic film and laughing your ass off, so get to it. After you watch it once, grab a few friends and have a good ol' fashioned "Ricky Oh" Party and watch everyone's reaction. Trust me, even the friends you think will hate this one will probably end up loving you for introducing them to such a classic. Cinema just ain't the same without stuff like this.

Dear God No! (2011)

Finally released on DVD!!

[10/10 · 17 June 2012]

As you can tell with the reviews here, you'll either really love this movie, or you'll really hate this movie... And that's the way it should be.

This film is terrible... Terrible acting, terrible quotes, terrible special effects... AND IT IS AWESOME! Some films are awful to the point they are incredible and this film is on the top rungs of that genre. It's pointless violence and endless nudity are simply there for the glory of it. There's no point to it other than glorifying it. If you don't fancy that sort of thing, then you shouldn't be watching movies like this. If you like pointless violence and sex, then you shouldn't even rent this, just go buy it and save yourself some time.

I love that movies like this are coming out more and more lately. With today's technology, just about anyone can make a film with little more than a computer and camera. It gives the average joe a chance to actually put their insane ideas on to film. While it does give credence to a bunch of garbage, the occasional great idea pops through and this film is a great example of that.

Hats off to the creators of this film, I surely hope that you will make many, many more films.

Hell Hath No Fury (2006 Video)

I'm here for "Torched" and nothing more

[8/10 · 18 May 2012]

Let me just start off by saying that I watched this film strictly for the last short "Torched" (Directed by Ryan Nicholson).

I started off watching the other shorts but they were absolutely painful to sit through so I figured I'd spare myself the agony and just go to the good stuff, and what good stuff it was. So if you want to see the whole anthology, be my guest. There are others on here that can give you a better idea of what they have to offer.

Now, on to 'Torched'... What an awesome short that was!! Ryan Nicholson surely has a talent at making downright ruthless horror movies (check out Gutterballs, Hanger) and this one is no exception. It starts out following a cute nurse through her routine until she gets brutally raped and then has a sort of mental breakdown... The story gets sort of bizarre and chopped up after that, up until the rapist follows her back to her house.... That's when the whole revenge plot starts. To say there are some graphic scenes in this one is putting it lightly. If you can't handle the hardcore, I'd steer way wide of this film. If you are like me and seek out the most hardcore of the hardcore, this one is right up your ally. Probably one of the best Ryan Nicholson has put out and a great story line, albeit a very short budget. I really hope mr. Nicholson gets his chance to put out some more brutality, he definitely has a knack for special effects.

8/10, but only for Torched. The rest of the film I'd give "maybe" two or three stars.

Dream Home (2010)

Stylish and interesting. A well done slasher flick.

[28 October 2011]

This movie caught my attention when it was reviewed by a friend of mine and I decided to give it a go and thankfully I did!!What can be said about "Dream Home" is that it's a very well done slasher movie with a fresh approach. I really loved this movie, what can I say! The basic story is a woman becomes so obsessed with buying a home with a view of the ocean she will go to any lengths to get that home....

I'm a huge fan of ultra violent horror movies and this one did not let down on that front by any means. But what really got me was the fresh ideas about a slasher/killer in this film. It wasn't the tired "crazed man follows stupid teens to a cabin" crap that gets turned out every week but a look at a seemingly normal person getting so obsessed with a dream that they will do anything and everything in their power to obtain that dream. Her performance was spot on and quite disturbing with kill scenes that made me cringe (which is very hard to do). Seriously, one of the greatest kill scenes I've seen in a movie this year! Do yourself a favor and check this out if you're into the slasher/killer genre. It won't be a waste of your time at the very least and you may just like it, maybe a lot!

A Serbian Film (2010)

Finally out on DVD

[10/10 · 24 October 2011]

I have refrained from writing a review until this actually came out on DVD and I purchased a copy. I've seen it several times and now want to chime in.

First off, I don't need to go into any of the details of the film, you've heard it all and there's absolutely no need to go on about it. I've shown this film to many friends and always get mixed ideas about it but there is always one thing that happens, people have a hard time talking after forcing themselves to watch the whole thing. It never gets easy watching it as I've seen it a handful of times. It's like you know a trainwreck is coming and you can see the carnage before it happens but you simply can't turn away. And this is why I love this film.

I can't stand the reviews that simply state this film is exploitation for exploitation's sake. Like this was made simply for people to be shocked and tortured. There's a thousand crap movies out there simply for shock and awe and this is definitely not one of those films. It speaks to the absolute cruelty of humanity, the horrors inside us that 99% of us refuse to see. That in the recesses of some people's souls these awful things reside and sometimes spill out into reality. There are evils out there just as sinister as this film portrays and we hate to even think about them let alone be subject to these visceral tortures on screen. And this is why I love this movie, it forces you to come face to face with that evil inside of humanity.

I cannot recommend this movie to just anyone, it is a certain piece of cinema that most people couldn't sit through. It's a very tough film to stomach and it does sit with you for a long time afterwards. It's a film I will watch again to show others but I will not enjoy it. This is a film that I love because it is cinema in the finest sense. There is no joy to this movie, it wrecks your soul and leaves a certain dread inside of you that cannot be shaken. It is something Americans are not accustomed to and why I hate most of Hollywood. Life is not all roses and good endings, there are very dark places out there and we need to know about them to eradicate them.

Is humanity ready to see the darkness to see the light or are we willing to shy away from these things and let the atrocities continue in the shadows? If you're willing to see the absolute horrors of humanity, then you should watch "A Serbian Film". If you can't stomach it, then you shouldn't even be looking at reviews of this film. Chances are that you have a curious idea about it and some part of you wants to see it. Trust me, that curiosity will bite you after you finish this film but I think it's affect will be something more than you'll expect.

Orozco the Embalmer (2001)

Unflinching gritty documentary.

[8/10 · 17 October 2011]

I just watched this movie last night for the first time and wow, what an experience that was.

First off, this is a very well done documentary about an embalmer in the poorest parts of Columbia. The overall sense of filth and grime in this movie make it all that more appealing/appalling for the audience. I learned of this film through the blogs of extreme horror fans but this little gem is on a shelf by itself. There are no depictions of glorified violence, no stunts, no gimmicks, just matter-of-fact filming of what happens in the poorest neighborhoods after you die.

Most people wouldn't be able to handle, let alone like, this film but it is a very real take on life and death. Life is not always a happy ending and we all end up dead one day. Sometimes it's good to face that to appreciate life just a little more.

If you have a good nerve and want to see what happens after you die, check this out. If you have a weak stomach, I'd probably pass this one over.

8/10*

Ebola Syndrome (1996)

Sleaze and filth. Absolutely fantastic!

[10/10 · 22 September 2011]

This film is a great portrayal of our wonderful "anti-hero" Kai and his exploits. A truly sleazy, disgusting, foul person that we almost learn to love throughout the film.

While I don't consider this too over the top with the gore, it is rather gory. But the almost comical aspect of it kind of detracts from the sick nature of this film. Even the rape scenes get almost comical. Whether it's a bad translation or not, there's a certain scene where our anti-hero is raping his bosses wife and the boss steps in to find them. Then Kai says "From now on I'm going to F*** anyone that bullies me". Then the wife says "He's bullying me!!". Absolutely classic.

And this is just one aspect of sleaze from our very lovable yet disgustingly sick anti hero Kai.

He's the kind of character that I simply love in exploitation movies. If you enjoy cheese, gore, silly dialog, and killing, please check this movie out. If you want an Oscar winning performance, look elsewhere.

Nine stars!!

ReGOREgitated Sacrifice (2008)

The second installment of Vomit Gore doesn't let down

[9/10 · 20 September 2011]

If you're reading this, then you've obviously watched the first installment of the series (or at least have a feel for what these "films" are about) so I won't try to explain them.

If you've watched the first one and think it was too sick and twisted, you might as well just forget about this one. It's much more sinister than the first and definitely more graphic. Along with all the obvious gore and vomit (the series is called "Vomit Gore") there's a certain level of eroticism with the absolutely gorgeous twins. That aspect of the film was not lost on me at all and a definite plus for the second installment.

Many people will say this is an art piece, still more will say it's nothing more than a fetish film but there are a small segment of the viewing audience that simply want an unpleasant film in their collection that's only there to cause controversy. I fall into this small category of cinephiles that simply love the strange and far out techniques used to make this film and ones like it. There's nothing to this film that gives it a social commentary (at least in my eyes). This is simply a film that pushes the boundary of viewing distaste and visceral torture.

If you wish to be pushed to the edge of what's considered cinema, these films are for you. If you can't stomach the vomit, gore, sex, violence, and almost intolerable sound, don't bother watching any of these films.

Thanks again Lucifer Valentine, you've given me a great time with your trilogy.

Hanger (2009 Video)

A piece of trash, but what a great piece of trash!

[7/10 · 19 September 2011]

Some people will hate on this movie but I really enjoyed it's over indulgent nature. It was a piece of B movie garbage that I would watch again and again.

Now don't get me wrong here, if you're looking for a truly great movie, just forget about even looking at this film. It's only for those folks who love super trashy, B grade, ultra violent and sick movies. Chalk full of sex, violence, gore and for some reason, every man in this movie has a messed up face (which really grew on me).

Even the good guys in this film are completely vile, so you can only imagine how disgusting the bad guys are.

I vote a 9/10, simply for the fact I love the over the top dialog, grotesque characters, violence and gratuitous sex.