saireeea Reviews

Play-Mate of the Apes (2002 Video)

Watching your mom kiss your sister will turn you on more

[19 April 2004]

Mindy Mundae stars in this flick about....well chicks and apes. The movie is so incredibly bad that it needed a second viewing by myself (for laughs).

During this flick you will see bad lesbian action, so bad, that watching your mom kiss your little sister goodbye will give you a hard on more than this flick will. The chicks featured in this film, are not good looking and some even sport some new scars from breast surgery....but hey not to worry because there is an animated disco ball that appears every now and then when the bad actors are not trying to make out that takes your mind off of what could have been the soft core porn of the century.

There is no plot. There is no reason to watch it but if bad soft core porns are up the alley for you....hey you got yourself a movie.

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Prepare to find an exit....quick!

[5/10 · 19 April 2004]

When The Matrix debuted back in 1999, we saw something that our eyes wouldn't believe. A mind blowing plot, the best special effects, and the birth of what could have been a great franchise.

Yet now it is 2003. The bullet-time special effect has been redone so much I can't even turn on Nickelodeon without seeing it done on Fairly Odd Parents. Lord of the Rings debuted years ago, giving trilogy fans something to look foward too in the mean time. Then there is the fact that money means more than a plot, which the Matrix Trilogy completely looses too.

Revolutions is what the Matrix shouldnt have been. Worse case scenerio where money and hype mean more than a plot. This move shows the same special effects that we have seen for 4 years. Some of the martial art scenes are exact duplicates from the original Matrix. The heros (Trinity and Neo) that we care to see the most spend a screen time of a half an hour on the big screen throughout the whole movie, and when they do come back....its not for long. We watch the war with Zion, that will have little effect on any viewer. Then there is a weak ending that makes you think " Why did they spend all this time on 2 movies when we are right back at the beginning?"

I can not express truly what a dissapointment this film is. In my mind there is no Matrix Trilogy. Just like there was no spoon. You will meet people that will tell you "you just dont understand". I thought seeing the orginal 15 times at the theater, waiting 3 hours for Reloaded's opening, waiting an hour to get Reloaded's dvd, Pre-selling the game, and waking up at 8 to see Revolutions was understanding enough. Obviously I was wrong.

In my mind there is no Matrix trilogy...just like there was no spoon. Prepare to find an exit with this one.. and quick.