SBlues Reviews

Taekwondo (2016)

Taekwondo is ideal for gay men that prefer to be sexually teased only...

[3/10 · 12 February 2017]

The title has nothing to do with kicking, fighting or whatever most people think of when they hear the word... Taekwondo is more homoerotic than anything else that would fit into the "gay themed" film world because it appears to be about watching cute men doing nothing but lounge around this house wearing little or nothing at all for almost two hours.

This is a running theme in just about all of Marco Berger's films and in one of his co-director's films. They appear to be fixated or have a fascination with strong, mostly heterosexual (and gay) Latino men as well as average build Latino men. From professional looking ball players, porn actors, to average looking men/typical co-starring actor types. As attractive as each of them are, all of them fall into other categories as well: slightly quirky or sexy or just plain hot. This is the type of film you can watch with the sound muted because it was made for voyeuristic viewers, to admire good looking men doing what they do when they're just "hanging out" with "friends".

There is two Directors listed for this film, Marco Berger is one that I am familiar with more and he isn't good at picking titles to match his films. His films often have no plot or story-line worth following or discussing. Just a bunch of scenes or short films put together of (usually) sexually frustrated men that appears to be a bit mentally challenged when it comes to properly communicating their sexual feelings for other mentally challenged men. Why you might ask? Marco Berger (the writer/director) loves his hot male Latino men to be very slow and kind of clueless in regards to their sexual feelings for other men they find attractive.

It's definitely made for all voyeuristic gay men (like the director Marco Berger and his co-director) that have an appreciation for watching/gazing at hot Latino men up close & personal. This is especially made for all those curious gay men that enjoy being sexually teased only because in their minds this is their main source of arousal rather than having physical sex with others.

Like living in a dream/fantasy world where you're forced to keep a distance, physically from other humans, never to touch or be touched by them, or to smell, be intimate or communicate with them as well.

Basically this film is a series of fragmented scenes. Short and sometimes lingering shots of sexy men in their 20's and early 30's wandering around (half naked or naked) in a house chatting about meaningless things, smiling and gazing at each other lovingly or curiously.

The end goal for the filmmakers it seems is to continuously tease the viewers until they begin to masturbate during the film or once the film ends.

In other words, soft-core porn for gay men, which can also be perceived as "an artistic film" without the usual simulated/fake sex in soft-core porn.

Bizarre (2015)

Yet another Gay Themed tragedy: slow & predictable with "eye candy".

[3/10 · 28 December 2015]

The movie poster is deceiving because it gives one the impression that it's going to be a love triangle between a cute young man and two slightly older women. That's what I thought without reading the synopsis, before watching any trailers because I didn't want to have any more expectations beyond my first impression of the poster.

No doubt this experimental looking film is a gay themed tragedy from the start. The moment I noticed the main character, an extremely attractive young man and his emotionless/solemn eyes; I knew I would be curious to watch his "aimless" journey. I was expecting it to be very sexual and emotionally revealing from each of its characters as it moved along but the filmmakers only gives us "teasing" glimpses into a world that would have been very exciting to watch. Sadly I found this film a bit depressing more than necessary. I hope this filmmaker doesn't become the gay version of Lars Von Trier because Von Trier's movies tend to mirror his own melancholic personal life. Never fun to watch but…

I learned many years ago that if the film has really depressing and tragic moments with seemingly hopeless and/or pathetic characters, it usually gets endless film awards. So making these types of films can be very rewarding for the filmmakers even if the film isn't that great or entertaining throughout. In the end, all we have here is yet another Gay Themed tragedy that is very slow and predictable with an attractive lead character for "eye candy".

Side note: The filmmaker appears to be as attracted to the young male lead's beauty as much as the viewer, so much so that he has already started a new movie starring the same actor in one of his next film projects. Hopefully in his next feature film he spent more time in developing a better story that doesn't follow one of those exhausted gay themed scenarios just to win awards.

Throwing unnecessary scenes together just to give your young, fresh face muse or crush or newly discovered "talent" starring roles is one thing but to rely on old, predictable situations of tormented & tragic gay characters is something we've seen in most gay themed movies. After watching a few of them, it becomes uncomfortable viewing because it gets irritating to see so many new and older filmmakers essentially re-making the same few stories, repeatedly.

Land of Storms (2014)

Yet another Pseudo gay/homophobic inspired film...

[2/10 · 28 November 2015]

This isn't the first and it will not be the last of these gay themed/homophobic inspired films. American and Foreign filmmakers have been making films like this since the start of movie making; for self-serving reasons.

I give it 2 stars for the typical/manipulative casting of good looking young lead actors to lure in gay viewers as well as the "curious" religious fanatics and/or homophobic viewers to revel in for various reasons.

As for the story/plot and that old fashioned tragic (homophobic) ending, I give it "thumbs down"/no points because we've seen 1000's of other pointless pseudo gay films with similar "so called love" stories with a predictable tragic ending to appease the homophobic viewers as well as those self-loathing souls that live to hate anything or anyone that look, live and act different than they do.

I never explain the story/plot in my reviews because the synopsis is always available with the film details above. Also because I hate reviews that waste time trying to explain the plot when most of us already know what the film is about or at least have an understanding of it.

Wetlands (2013)

The Cringe worthy moments Pollutes this seemingly interesting Artsy film...

[2/10 · 2 September 2014]

"Wetlands" was made for Shock Value. No real person is as stupid and gullible as the characters in this film are almost every day of their lives.

It's not funny or arousing or entertaining watching an ignorant and promiscuous female go through an entire film doing extremely disgusting and hazardous things (that was clearly scripted and/or directed to shock viewers that aren't into these types of fetishes).

I wasn't surprised by anything in the film because I've personally witnessed many women and men (especially German men) online that enjoy disgusting body fluids oozing out of the body whether it was their own or someone else. They also enjoy S&M and other forms of self-mutilation and torture of their body parts beyond what would be considered pleasurable.

I love artistic indie films with explicit sex, especially when the finished film is uncensored. I also enjoy films that aren't afraid to experiment creatively but I hate excessive and unnecessary violence. There was no violence in this movie but there were endless scenes of the female lead digging in her vagina (and Anus) for disgusting excrement. She enjoyed the smell and taste of whatever was inside of her vagina.

Based on how careless and nasty she was throughout the film, like walking barefoot into a flooded public restroom, rubbing her ass and vagina over a very dirty toilet; I thought she would have been hospitalized for more than just an infected hemorrhoid.

Just when you think she will finally begin to grow up and act like a normal person after having surgery; she continues her obnoxious behavior in the hospital; she also flirts with a cute male nurse, constantly putting his job at risk but he didn't care because he was fascinated by her "boyish" charm of being a care free, flirtatious and slutty spirit that he wished all girls could be.

The CRINGE worthy moments pollutes (in a distracting manner) this seemingly interesting Artsy foreign film, so much so that I had to force myself to watch it through to the end.

Kidnapped for Christ (2014)

Unanswered Prayers as usual: Careless Parents and their "troubled" Teenagers.

[7/10 · 29 July 2014]

I just watched this Documentary, Kidnapped For Christ. It's a simple but good and necessary film that glances at what it's like for teens raised in Religious families that are forcibly moved to a foreign Country (Dominican Republic) to live in a Christian Camp-like Rehabilitation center for "troubled" teens that get into lots of trouble and/or disobey parents that feel they can longer control or influence their child's thoughts, behavior & life choices.

Once there, the teens are force fed the usual judgmental/guilt-ridden melancholy BS found in all Bibles. They're forced to do various chores and a list of other strict things as well. They have to ask for permission to do everything and they have to be careful what they say and do; who they reveal anything to because they will be punished physically with a paddle, solitary confinement, verbal abuse and more.

The film states that this type of organization is a Billion dollar business no doubt because the parents have to pay regular fees over a period of many months; likely until the parents and the organization feels it's time to return home.

Many of the teens that are eventually released from these organizations are scarred for life because an imprint of all they endured is sealed in their minds forever, the few constructive methods as well as all the abusive methods. Anyone that has ever been abused (repeatedly) can tell you that those unpleasant/abusive moments experienced in life tend to stick with you and those memories can resurface when you least expect them to.

They also have to face their parents again, the people that paid lots of money to make all this happen in the first place. Very extreme and expensive measures were taken by the parents in having their child "kidnapped" and shipped off to a foreign country to be cared for by unpredictable strangers that often appear emotionless & cold.

I was definitely entertained and left with a lot of unanswered questions but I have a feeling much of the information left out was done so for legal reasons; yet the parents must have consented to allow their children to take part in this documentary because only a few random faces were blurred out.

Five Dances (2013)

Moderately Enjoyable (if you can Appreciate the Beauty in it's Simplicity)...

[5/10 · 14 November 2013]

Ballet is typically a boring event to watch when viewed far away (as an audience member in a huge arts theater) but seeing it up close in a rehearsal studio setting; makes FIVE DANCES worth watching; especially because of the beautifully fit male bodies in action.

FIVE DANCES is simple and slow with a few awkward moments but eventually you get used to it and just go along for the ride; curious to see what happens next. This film is also a subtle treat for gay men.

There's no real plot or story to follow because this is one of those films that uses a few appealing elements to pull in especially gay viewers. Gay and straight viewers love cute guys with hot tight fit bodies. Seeing them move around in ballet style dance moves is forgettable but those few hot moments of intimacy between the two male leads towards the end makes this type of film moderately enjoyable and a little touching.

Triple Crossed (2013)

If you're a fan of cheesy low budget films & scenes of male nudity...

[1/10 · 10 November 2013]

This movie is no different from thousands of other low budget movies made in America. The scripts are poorly written as usual and the direction always looks like the same (toss up between a few) people taking turns directing them.

I won't try to explain the plot because that's the part of reviews that I hate to read or hear about when I check out other reviews. Besides, someone from the film's production has already written a synopsis that anyone interested can read.

It's a universal fact that most low budget movies, whether gay or straight are usually bad. The cast are usually all unknown first time actors or porn actor(s) in this film, continuously trying to make it in the mainstream movie business.

Sean Paul Lockhart is the director as well as one of the stars of this film. He is a well known gay porn actor that has made a fortune performing in, producing and directing gay Adult films. He has also used a few different "stage" names for reasons that is best explained by people that have followed his (porn) career.

If you're a fan of cheesy low budget films, Sean Paul Lockhart (aka) Brent Corrigan and a few scenes of male nudity; you'll love this film.

I appreciated the beauty of the male nudity but I did not enjoy the poor dialogue, the story and the generic direction.

Ass Backwards (2013)

A few moments that provoke awkward laughter & female butt shots.

[1/10 · 8 November 2013]

I won't attempt to explain the plot or purpose of this "wannabe imitation" of a film but I'll share a few thoughts on what stood out to me.

A brief shot "from behind" of 2 women squatting over a public sidewalk revealing unnecessary ass shots from a distance; releasing a flood of urine. Is that funny? What if it was 2 men in that same position, not erect & urinating? Would that be funny instead? We live in a society ruled by You-Tubers and all their childish antics for easy/forced laughs from viewers willing to laugh at anything.

Which means, most of the dumb gimmicks and/or jokes are recycled. Usually very dry self-serving humor or over the top silly behavior; that always seems to be inside jokes between the writers of this type of film (similar to the skits on Saturday Night Live).

What I never understand is why the so called funniest characters are always written to be clueless idiots throughout, then they have brief moments of clarity as if the writers forgot how stupid the characters were written a moment before writing a new scene.

As I write this "review", I notice the two main characters urinating in public. This 3rd & final time while in a cemetery, they squat directly over the camera and before we can see their privates parts in an extreme close-up; the film CUT TO the end credits. I'm an ass lover myself but it's clear the writers and/or film directors has a fetish/thing for women squatting to pee "always watching" from behind.

I just realized that my little "review" might have you believe this film is something that it is not because of a few scenes that I've described. It's not entertaining and it's not kinky. It's that usual nonsense that's suppose to be funny these days.

Sexual Tension: Volatile (2012)

Sexual Tension: Volatile "the Art of Teasing men until their balls turn blue or fall off" LOL.

[3/10 · 29 April 2013]

I give this series of short Homoerotic films 4 stars for the cute "eye candy" and for the half-hearted attempts at writing & directing.

This series of short films is like all of Marco Berger's other film work, purposely set up to TEASE and FRUSTRATE the single gay viewers. Yes, there is a 2nd Director Credited as well but I'm focusing on what appears to be a continuation of the type of films Marco Berger is fixated on.

Marco Berger directs films (short and feature length) with similar scenarios where most of his Latino male lead characters are emotionally retarded. (See also his short film: The Watch)They meet and begin this endless teasing ritual. The characters are usually very tense, on the verge of being sexually frustrated, some are oddly speechless; either paralyzed with fear or too shy to move beyond just flirting with their soft or semi-hard penises and those awkward silent moments between each set of characters in every short film, is overkill.

Marco Berger also appears to have a fascination with young Latino men wearing only tight underwear which usually displays their soft or semi-erect penises either lying down or standing. Some of the characters are clearly seen squeezing their slight erections in front of the other characters, yet both characters play these teasing games with one another in such an unrealistic way. Who does that? No real horny gay man is going to go through all that trouble seducing the man, then pretends he's not interested or he suddenly becomes clueless once he realizes that the other guy is willing to have sex as well.

One final note about what I hate in artistic gay filmmakers these days is how some of them can shoot many of their sexual scenes well but the editing of those scenes always end on a incomplete manner. It's obvious they spend many hours shooting those scenes, getting enough footage but for some reason; they feel they have to heavily censor these scenes more than any other scene.

In the case of Marco Berger's films, he slowly builds up tension and anticipation within you, the viewer then he cuts to another scene. His films would be even more fulfilling and complete if he didn't feel sadistically inclined to always edit out the climactic scenes. Otherwise you are left to fill in the incomplete scenes yourself every time you watch his movies.

L.A. Zombie (2010)

"L.A. Zombie Hardcore" has a lot in common with the film "Shortbus", another pseudo-art drama-porno film

[1/10 · 15 January 2012]

Another strange/sick & twisted film by Writer/Director Bruce Labruce. If you are a gay and/or bisexual male, you will be turned-on a little while watching various scenes. Minutes later you might feel disgusted while watching some scenes, like I was. There is never a real story or entertaining plot to follow in any of his films. He often uses real porn actors/street prostitutes to star in his films because there is always real sex performed within his films. L.A. Zombie Hardcore is most definitely a standard gay porn film with a feeble attempt at storytelling. This is Bruce Labruce's style when he writes and directs this type of film.

This review can also be applied to the film, Shortbus as well. Don't get me wrong, I love porno films and I also love mainstream films as well but I know the difference between what is and what isn't porn when I see it. The director of Shortbus was smart enough to edit out 60% of the gay sex scenes that was filmed, adding a few heterosexual sex scenes, which made it easier to blend into mainstream movie theaters. Which became a popular film, making a lot of money, strangely? L.A. Zombie Hardcore was made first because Bruce Labruce got to do yet another "personal" pornographic film with a hint of a storyline, making it fit into the gay "artistic" film genre, like all his movies in the last 3 decades have also. He hires hot porn actors as well as everyday looking yet attractive fairly new actors. In this film, he cast gay male porn actors and a few actors that have worked on some of his other films in the past. Like Tony Ward who plays a homeless guy along with one of Tony's best friends in real life, an actor/clothing designer from the show Project Runway.

Bruce Labruce usually writes a part for himself in his films where he can also join the fun like the actors but I didn't spot him creeping/spying or sniffing any of the cast in this film, like he did so famously in his film Hustler White starring Tony Ward, almost 20 years ago.

L.A. Zombie Hardcore is worth seeing just to say you saw yet another low budget sick, twisted explicitly pornographic gay art film that. Only gay men that get high on drugs and poppers would call this film "a profound work of orgasmic art". I call it just another low budget "artsy" porno film.

Man at Bath (2010)

Homme au bain - is about realistic male sexuality & whatever else you read into it

[2/10 · 18 December 2011]

This type of film seems to be very popular in Europe. These foreign filmmakers are so lucky they get to shoot realistic/experimental films using real porn stars, popular movie actors, using convenient indoor/outdoor locations and inexpensive film cameras. It's obvious most of these films are not scripted and without a reasonable budget, so the performers in these films are usually working for free. Francois Sagat makes half a million dollars for some of the Adult films he stars in, I'm sure, and he has made many Adult films to live comfortably for the rest of his life. My guess as to why he would agree to play the part of a sex hungry guy, that also sells his body for quick cash, is probably the same reason he is a porn star. It's right up his alley (no pun intended) to do what he knows best, even if the director of this film cannot afford to pay him what he normally earns for one scene in a gay porn film. This film looks a lot like one that an aspiring filmmaker is shooting often with his buddies but will never get to release it here in America because it isn't a violent film that cost 50 to 150 million to make and it isn't a film that will make 100 million dollars in the first weekend.

Movies, videos and other visual media are very influential. That has been proved especially true in the last 20 years. Europe has extremely less violence than America does because they focus most of their media on less violent issues. They have never been afraid to explore sexual issues as well, unlike America. Sexuality is still a taboo here in America, well, mostly male sexuality that is. Women have always been exploited through their bodies in the media for decades.

In America, we have more violent situations occurring because everywhere we look in the media, there is something negative or violent happening. Most movies released every year in America has something to do with violence: endless car crashes, huge explosions, rapes, men fighting with other men in and out of bars – whether they're drunk or sober using their fists and large amounts of deadly weapons, endless serial killer movies, jealous female or male murderers and a long list of other useless/senseless movies that are made in America. The highest death rate every year has to be in America.

OK, back to reviewing the film. No, there isn't much of a plot to follow or any ideal lead characters to root for or to wish any harm to. And I still enjoyed watching this film because it felt like a place away from home, a "beautifully naked" place or an environment I won't ever afford to experience in my lifetime because Europe is a very expensive place to live for someone like myself. I enjoy watching films that deal with sexuality freely without any "Crazy-American" hang-ups/issues. I like watching films that won't have me dreaming about someone stalking or killing me or vice versa. Remember, sexual films are good, violent films are bad.I have been trying to make experimental/realistic films like this for years without any luck and I admire those that make it happen in ways that look simple and possible one day for me.

The Snowtown Murders (2011)

Snowtown: A very uneasy film to watch if you're against useless torture films

[3/10 · 1 December 2011]

This film was a bit confusing after I viewed the 1st hour because I had never heard of any of the serial killers featured in this film. I initially thought it was a typical artistic Australian film about a white trash family that had a bit of bad luck with a pedophile neighbor that was going to get beat up or killed. Then he moved away after being harassed by the lead serial killer. That's not what it's about. So I went back to the beginning to watch it with a different mind set.

I won't bother to try to explain the story because you can search online for bits and pieces (no pun intended) of the killers involved and how they tortured their victims. I give it a 2 rating because when I started watching this film, it presented too many uneven/incomplete situations for the viewer. You have to either think back in your own mind or rewind the DVD player to figure out what is really going on.

Another reason I give it only a 2 rating is because it is filmed in a realistic manner. It almost appears as if some of this stuff is really happening to these characters and to me, this is what makes it appealing for so many new and old killers to do what they do and get away with it. Yet there are no obvious reasons why people become senseless serial killers at all and that question will never be answered by anyone entirely.

This type of film also glorifies violence in a subtle way that most people will not comprehend right away. Throughout the world, there are people loving every moment of these horribly violent films more and more for various reasons. Especially in films that can afford to make it look realistic. Why the need to chop up 3 real kangaroos into pieces on camera as the filmmakers of Snowtown does? And I'm not even an animal person and I found that scene unnecessary and disgusting to watch.

I also just noticed that YouTube has many Documentaries about the true events that inspired this film. Why make a confusing film when the documentaries can give us better details about what really happened? To win awards, to get more jobs as a film director and more. The film does look interesting at first glance with a few adequate actors but very unpleasant to watch many of the scenes.