johnnyrj Reviews

On the Rocks (2020)

Sofia Has Vision

[7/10 · 14 January 2021]

It's weird how Sofia can extract something out of Bill Murray that very few directors and writers seem to be able to. Bill's humor has become more refined over the years and is well timed and placed without being buffoonery or clownish.

I don't think that the writing here is the best and the story is somewhat lacking, but Sofia definitely has vision. There are specific shots and scenes and looks that are becoming her trademark which I find really interesting and anyone who enjoyed Lost in Translation will notice them.

Overall it's an okay offering from Sofia.

Space Force (2020–2022)

Ignore The Bad Reviews

[9/10 · 9 August 2020]

Man, I almost got duped into believing the hype that this show wasn't any good. I sure am glad I gave it a go because it's a gem. It's not The Office, it's not Veep, it's Space Force and it's hilarious and smart.

So where did the negative reviews come from? Take a wild guess after watching a few episodes. It's obvious the right-wing establishment took great offense, not only to the fact that the name was taken first, but that the show makes a complete, well-deserved mockery of conservative politics and right-wing conspiracy theorists and their idiotic rejection of science and facts.

At times the jokes might be a little obvious and the humor a bit too on point, but there's an underlying message throughout the show and it's an important one. I'll let you the viewer figure out just what it is, and if you do, you'll appreciate my review. If you don't, you probably dropped out of high school and think injecting Lysol and staring at a solar eclipse are good ideas.

Space Force is funny and intelligent and the cast is brilliant. Ignore the negative reviews and give it a shot.

Dragged Across Concrete (2018)

Brawl in Cellblock 99 Part 2

[6/10 · 14 March 2020]

Apparently there are specific actors who like working with this director or vice versa or both. Fine. Some directors like to do it and make it work. Did Zahler? Sort of. Me personally, I don't get the appeal because Brawl 99 was pretty awful from many standpoints and the ratings for that are either horribly manipulated or there are actually that many meathead dimwits on the planet who don't know much about real cinema.

Dragged isn't bad. Dragged isn't great. Dragged is just good. It's a long slog through what's supposed to be character building but I'm not sure it achieves anything monumental on that front nor does the dialogue which at times is completely out of context and to be quiet honest, totally unnecessary.

How exactly did Vince and Mel's chat with Don Johnson blaming the media for their misgivings fit into the story because none of that was based in reality. Mel went on a racist tirade about Jewish people while tanked and Vince decided to submarine his career by becoming a Trump supporter. Both of those actions have consequences and neither one were the fault of the media. Blaming the media for your racism and misguided decision to support a sexual predator and serial liar is just a lame excuse for your own failings as a human being.

I don't know Mel and I don't know Vince. I know the characters they play in movies. For the most part I like the characters they play in movies. In all honesty since I don't know them personally I could care less what idiotic life decisions they make. You make your bed and you sleep in it and you also dig your own grave and lie in it if you if you make stupid decisions.

For the most part I thought the duo worked well in this film which is leagues better than Brawl 99. They have some decent dialogue and their characters are somewhat believable and they deliver on most fronts. I have no real complaints about any aspect of their participation in this film.

The story works okay although some aspects are a bit rushed. All in all it's a way better movie than Brawl 99. It's not horrid, it's not epic, it lands nicely somewhere in between.

Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017)

Nowhere near the overwhelmingly positive reviews

[4/10 · 11 March 2020]

I'm not sure where the high volume of ultra-positive reviews for this movie came from but they aren't based in reality. Either the majority of reviewers for this film know absolutely nothing about any aspect of good cinema or something is wildly fishy in Denmark.

There are a couple of positives, one of which is the fight scenes. Somehow they made a lumbering giant somewhat plausible as a fighter and by somewhat I mean you have to suspend disbelief slightly because Vince Vaughn isn't cut by any means, he's just tall. We're supposed to believe he's loaded with all this overwhelming power including some martial arts expertise which has no background other than maybe a vague reference to some boxing. Again, mildly plausible since Vince is awkwardly tall which makes him seem bigger than he actually is. The only redeeming part of the fight scenes is how they were coordinated. They are by no means stellar achievements in film, but they are okay. The sound is ridiculously over the top and nowhere near reality. It sounds more like a 70's martial arts movie with all the slaps and crunches.

The cinematography is okay. The choice of scenes and lighting are decent so there's an artsy aspect to the film.

The entire thing goes from somewhat plausible to barely plausible to a point where you just start shaking your head.

At some point the film starts to take on this dystopian framework where, had the entire film been shot in that perspective, it might have actually worked better. I almost felt like I was watching two different movies.

My other big problem is casting Vince Vaughn as a brawler / martial arts / boxer. He's not big, nor fast, nor does he have the frame of someone who would possess those types of skills. He's just tall. This made some of the fight scenes seem more awkward than plausible. Very bizarre choice for a lead actor.

So I guess all of the positive reviews are coming from people who could care less about dialogue, delivery, story, sound and acting and instead from people who get a rise out of gratuitous violence. I have no problem with a film loaded with violence and gore as long as the story is plausible and the acting is good and the actors actually fit the characters. Some films in this genre just nailed it, this one however fell very flat for me.

The Irishman (2019)

hit or miss, mostly miss

[5/10 · 5 December 2019]

As a huge Martin Scorsese fan I was a bit disappointed with his latest direction. I don't think he's done directing epics by any means, but The Irishman just fell flat for me. It could have easily been an hour shorter and still told the story effectively. Had Bobby Cannavale had a bigger role maybe it would have landed better but I just felt like it was missing the Scorsese touch we've all come to love in his films.

I can see why some people would enjoy it and I can definitely see why some people hated it.

Lords of Chaos (2018)

it's all fun and games until...

[9/10 · 26 February 2019]

Ah yes! Teen angst. We were all teenagers once and some of us even went as far as to rebel, and what better outlet was (is) there than metal? Thankfully nobody in my group back in the late 80's and early 90's ever took it to the point of murder and burning down churches. What an utter waste of life and culture. If there was anything positive to come from this mess it was the Norwegian Black Metal music genre, which on the whole is interesting and took metal in a direction it hadn't really gone before. The only downside was that back in the late 80's and early 90's, apparently no one in Scandanavia had ever heard of a bass guitar or sonics, nor knew much about engineering and mastering so all the recordings from that era sound like mid-range garbage. It's nearly impossible to distinguish what's going on with specific guitar parts because typically everything was recorded on a boombox or with one microphone in the middle of the room and it all ends up mashed together in a cacophony of sound that isn't very detailed.

The movie is pretty well directed and follows the book pretty faithfully. The murders are pretty shocking and brutal. All of the so-called black metal fans are whining and moaning because the movie makes them out to be idiots, but if you step back and look at the facts of the cases, you'd have to be an idiot to pull this stuff and think you are going to get away with it or think that it's going to accomplish something other than landing you in prison.

A real satanist rejects organized religions and forges his or her own path and follows his or her heart without harming anyone else in the process.

The First (2018)

One of the reasons you shouldn't have kids

[5/10 · 22 September 2018]

First and foremost, the acting overall is pretty good. I'm not going to slam any of the actors for not doing their jobs or not having enough skill to do their jobs properly. We all know S. Penn can act so that's not really an issue at any point. The camera work is decent and sometimes the direction is good although it tries to be a bit too artsy sometimes. Pretentious maybe? My biggest complaints with this series are: I love space and sci-fi themed stuff and this series barely delivers with the exceptions of episodes 1 and 8. That means there are 6 episodes sitting there doing something that isn't really sci-fi or space which brings me to my 2nd point. I loathe soap opera style drama that focuses so much on interpersonal relationships which are beaten to death to the point of exhausting the viewer into doing something else to pass the time while the over the top drama is going on. I'm a musician so it's a great opportunity to pick up a guitar and work on my scales, picking and speed while the characters on screen hash out their ridiculousness for the sake of it being dramatic. Bleh. There's so much drama that it sucks the life right out of the sci-fi and space portions which are already meager to begin with in episodes 2 through 7.

There was something about the lesbians that annoyed me and it wasn't that they were black or that they were lesbians. I felt like I wasn't buying their relationship, at all. It felt pretty stiff throughout like they weren't comfortable in that role. Not sure what it was exactly but something was off about that relationship.

The real icing on the drama cake though was Penn's kid. Sweet baby Jesus I wanted to snap her neck pretty much immediately. Not the actress mind you, her character. That is the most annoyed I've ever been with a character. The audacity and selfishness of junkies when they have the world handed to them makes my blood boil. Boo hoo, poor little me. I guess I'll go snort coke and shoot heroin and screw up other people's lives which are infinitely more important than mine. If you want to flush your life down the toilet like that, do everyone else a favor and do it alone or with other like-minded individuals. Don't bring other people into your vortex of self-loathing and stupidity because you are too weak to get your act together. At least pets don't shoot heroin and snort coke and create unnecessary drama for the sake of being dramatic. The planet is over-populated enough. Mankind is already a malignant cancer hell-bent on destruction and misery without having selfish junkie kids to screw it up even more. Thanks to religion people keep making more though.

Oh, and? We're not going to Mars any time soon. At least not until we figure out how to survive the extremely harsh conditions of unchecked solar radiation in space. We'll either be radiated to death before we get to Mars or shortly after we land because without a magnetosphere there's nothing on Mars to protect us from the Sun. It's fun to smoke pot and dream about traveling amongst the stars but that's about as far as we're getting until we stop killing each other in the name of religious ideologies.

UFO (2018)

You don't need to have passed basic math to enjoy this movie.

[8/10 · 4 September 2018]

There's enough of a story here to keep you engaged the entire time. The acting is good, the direction is good, even the math is interesting and I've never passed a math class in my life. Is there room here for a sequel without ruining the original story? I think so. If I had to make one criticism it would be that the movie was too short. I would have watched 3 hours of this if it had meant more details.

Fear the Walking Dead (2015–2023)

wth happend to this show!?!?!?!

[5/10 · 19 August 2018]

This show was set and primed to last at least 8 or 9 seasons, maybe more, but something happened and now I'll be surprised if it lasts 5. Seasons 1 - 3 had a specific feel to the environment and the series had a nice southwestern tone going for it with some, god forbid, culture. I'm not sure if the entire writing staff from Seasons 1 - 3 was fired or quit or what happened, but this show has completely changed directions as far as cinematography and direction. Oh and almost all the characters they spent several seasons building up are now gone, and not just one or two here or there, they left en masse, and I'm guessing they were able to see the forest for the trees and are abandoning ship well ahead of the inevitable iceberg of cancellation. I honestly cannot fathom why whoever is in charge of FTWD at AMC would purposefully tank this show but that's where it's headed. I happily binge watched the first 3 seasons but I struggled through each episode of Season 4. The flash forwards, backwards, sideways, etc., are horribly directed and just confusing to the point where you either give up or you just keep watching in some vague hope that the series magically resurrects itself. Even if, EVEN IF you somehow manage to figure out the direction and new tones of color and bland, you still have to deal with the idiocy of the survivors who suffer from a widespread case of Deer In The Headlights syndrome. The writers don't even bother to have them try and escape situations by, hmmmm, turning around and running away? Dumb. Frustratingly dumb. Middle schooler level writing dumb. I don't remember it being that bad through the first few seasons but Season 4 has taken the idiocy to a whole new level. This series is now destined to fail whether it's on purpose or not.

Ghost in the Shell (2017)

A decent take on brilliant anime.

[8/10 · 7 July 2017]

Going in expecting the worst, I was pleasantly surprised by what they managed to deliver. First and foremost, Ghost in the Shell was the anime movie that changed everything for me. I had 0 interest in anime shorts or movies until someone insisted I check out GITS and that was pretty much the beginning of the end for me. GITS blew me away completely and changed my perspective forever. There is an unparalleled depth to Ghost in the Shell that you just don't find anywhere else in anime even to this day. It remains one of the all- time great anime movies because the direction is brilliant, the acting (Japanese) is absolutely perfect, and the story is just plain epic.

Ghost in the Shell 2017 did not fail to deliver. I wasn't actually expecting them to nail every single thing that made the anime so great, but I was expecting them to adapt things as well as they could and they didn't disappoint. It's not the greatest movie ever, it's not the greatest acting ever, and it's probably not going to win an Oscar for anything, ever, but it's an enjoyable adaptation of a great anime movie. Scarlett must have studied Major's facial expressions pretty carefully because she nails those nicely. They also did a pretty brilliant job with all the electronics and high tech gear. Overall a good adaptation of a great anime movie.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

ignore the negative reviews by the trolls

[10/10 · 9 June 2017]

It has become quite apparent that IMDb has been infested with a nasty virus of its own in the form of armies of trolls attempting to manipulate ratings and deceive readers. They are the reason for the demise of the IMDb forums. Do not be fooled by any of it. Summon the courage to watch TV shows and movies because you want to, not because an army of idiots is attempting to manipulate you.

Alien: Covenant, if anything, is Ridley Scott at what I believe to be a pinnacle of sorts in his directing career. He has nailed every aspect of this series and reminded us why we enjoy it so much. I had no idea he was even doing prequels to the original series so I was absolutely blown away by Prometheus. Covenant doesn't disappoint at all. It's intense, it's heavy, it's disgusting and it makes you think. Highly recommended addition to the series!

Prison Break (2005–2017)

Conservative TV

[5/10 · 3 May 2017]

Giving it a 5 was generous. As long as you suspend disbelief and go into this series with a completely different mindset than you'd have if say you watched really good shows like Breaking Bad, Six Feet Under, The Sopranos, etc., you might find it entertaining. There was a point during season 1 where I almost walked away because the story was so ludicrous you'd have to be an idiot to believe any of it, but I changed the way I watched it from taking it too seriously to just being entertained while waiting for the better shows to air. There are enough plot holes and plot twists in this series to embarrass Swiss cheese. Unless you have the intelligence of high school dropout you aren't going to be buying much of what Prison Break is selling, but if you need filler, look no further. If you really like guns, squinting, characters that are walking cliche's, and a level of predictability that even a child could figure out, look no further. If you want believable, well-developed characters, well thought out plots, and an engaging story based in reality, you've come to the wrong series.

Men, Women & Children (2014)

thought-provoking and real

[9/10 · 17 December 2014]

Before I tap into what I really enjoyed about the film and why you should give it a chance, allow me to make quick comment about the Adam Sandler bashing which is rampant on IMDb.

Apparently it's trendy to hate Adam because every so often he makes or stars in a dog or two (movies), but the hate is misguided and nothing more than IMDb troll hype. There are numerous boards and threads which are completely overrun by people whose only interest is stirring up trouble. Somehow Adam was on their radar and low behold it became "cool" to dislike anything he was in, regardless of whether or not they had actually seen said film. Case in point are the numerous threads on this board related to this movie where the individual commenting never even bothered to give the movie a chance simply because Adam was in it. These posts should be ignored outright because they are nothing more than trolling to stir the pot.

Adam did a fine job in this movie and has proved once again that he can do serious and he does it very well. He's not a clown and he's not a blundering idiot contrary to the crap you'll read about him on IMDb. Give Adam a chance and you'll find an interesting movie that is very thought-provoking and touches upon a lot of very real subjects.

This movie speaks volumes about the state of our society in such a technologically advanced age and should be a wake-up call for parents and kids alike. It's not like there weren't problems before the invention of the internet, but this movie touches upon some of the pitfalls of the times we live in. I think it's an eye-opening experience for everyone.

The Raid 2 (2014)

Whoa man.

[10/10 · 2 August 2014]

So this is what's been going on in Indonesia? Color me impressed on every level. This is easily one of the most insane movies I've ever seen, and I mean that with the utmost respect, from the acting to the cinematography to the martial arts coordination to the direction. This is some next level **** man! Wow, just wow. If you don't mind the no-holds-barred violence, and love martial arts and action, this is pretty much all you'll ever need. I'm still in shock.

Highly, highly recommended.

I was somewhat impressed with the first movie, but this went all Empire Strikes Back and just blew the first one out of the water. Well done sirs!

Afflicted (2013)

A fun, well done twist on the myth

[9/10 · 12 July 2014]

At this point I read all the negatives reviews first because more often than not they'll help you make the right choice. I've found this extremely helpful when purchasing books nowadays. If I hadn't read the negative reviews for Joe Hill's NOS4A2, I probably wouldn't have bothered because there was so much fanboyism going on with the positive reviews. Turns out the negative reviews pointed out all the things I enjoy in literature. Money well spent.

I applied the same principle to Afflicted. So many people were panning this movie for all the reasons I enjoy film that I just had to check it out. The trailer also hooked me pretty good, but without the haters taking a verbal dump on this little gem I probably wouldn't have bothered.

Flaws? Sure. But again, it's a fictional interpretation of a popular myth. If you don't understand that concept by now, quit watching movies all together. If you go into this for what it is (FFF genre) with an open mind, you'll enjoy the ride, and it is one hell of a ride. Great action sequences are replete and the story line is a fun twist on the myth.

I was pleasantly surprised with this one and I do recommend it to anyone who enjoys the FFF genre and the horror mythos.

47 Ronin (2013)

ignore the hate and give it a chance

[9/10 · 22 March 2014]

This movie is visually stunning from start to finish and for that alone it gets a higher rating from me. If I have one criticism it's that it should have been done in the native language with subtitles but this doesn't take away from the overall look and feel of the story. I really enjoyed it and I encourage anyone who likes fantasy, anime or manga to give it a chance.

Most of the negative reviews simply hate Keanu and don't get what the story is about nor understand the culture. These reviews should be ignored outright. There seem to be an alarming amount of trolls using multiple accounts on IMDb to manipulate ratings. Use your best judgment and a keen eye to spot the trolls and give this movie a chance.

Crossing (2008)

Up there with Grave of the Fireflies

[8/10 · 7 January 2014]

Having read Nothing to Envy by Barbara Demick, Escape from Camp 14 by Blaine Harden and The Aquariums of Pyongyang by Chol-hwan Kang & Pierre Rigoulot, I was very interested in finding a movie that dealt with the unfortunate realities of modern day North Korea as is detailed in the aforementioned books. I was not disappointed.

Keurosing is a look at a grim reality that most people would rather just ignore. It's a dark, depressing journey. Anyone who has seen Grave of the Fireflies will know what I'm talking about. The movie is well directed and the acting is very good. I highly recommend this to anyone who is interested in North Korea and has read any of the books I've previously mentioned.

Gravity (2013)

Gravity vs. Nerd Rage

[8/10 · 6 January 2014]

It's really easy to sum this movie up. If you go into it knowing full well that it's a (surprise!) movie and you are just along for the ride, you'll enjoy it. If you going into this thing all hyper nerd rage, you are going to be sorely disappointed.

Sandra's performance is fine for this type of film. I didn't expect anything too technical from her and she didn't disappoint. Clooney is Clooney, what else is there to say?

The visuals are absolutely stunning, the dialogue only mediocre. That's it folks. Take it for what it is, a thrilling ride around space. There are technical faults and flaws galore which is what creates Nerd Rage, but this movie isn't about being realistic on any level, DUH.

After Earth (2013)

not nearly as bad as the critics and trolls make it out to be

[8/10 · 26 September 2013]

I spent months on here reading reviews searching for the truth which was not easy to find amid a sea of trolling, hate trending and bigotry. There are however a few reviews which touch upon an important point which is that this movie isn't a 10, nor nearly as bad as a 5. I struggled between giving it a 7 and 8 and finally went with an 8 because it stands up well to criticism which was based on the following:

1.) Jaden can't act and just whines throughout the movie. Wrong. His role is that of a jaded teenager who wants to be something more and is caught up in an extreme situation where he must become a man against strong odds. I thought he played the role perfectly.

2.) There's no plot and the movie is all over the place. Really? It's Science Fiction you dolt and you'd have to be a real toothless hillbilly git not to figure out the plot and direction of this movie. If you are challenged by the Survival Against All Odds plot than I guess maybe you need something a bit more obvious like Muppets Take Manhattan. Yikes. It couldn't have been more obvious there Bubba. Also, it's SCI-FI, and although it can go literally any direction it wants to, it doesn't.

3.) Will Smith is washed up. Say what? Go look at the list of movies he's done since the 90's. His movies make HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, even the ones that don't still turn a profit. Jealous much?

Which all leads me to believe the overwhelming hate for this movie is stemming from nothing more than hating something because it's trending, jealousy, and probably some deep rooted bigotry which really has no place on an open forum like IMDb. It's pretty obvious there's something more going on here with the reviews than initially meets the eye.

Like science fiction? Give this one a chance.

Pitch Perfect (2012)

c r a p o l a

[2/10 · 22 December 2012]

My wife told me to come over and sit on the couch with her and watch this funny/cute movie. She had caramel corn so I figured, what the hell, at least I get a snack.

From the opening I had a sneaking suspicion this was going to be a movie version of Glee. I asked and she said, "Not really, but there's some singing..." I immediately began to shovel as much caramel corn as I could get, paying close attention to globules of sweet goodness until the bowl was empty, whereupon I got up and went back to work. My sometimes tedious job of localization engineering held far more appeal than a group of angsty college kids slogging their way through a contrived script, towards a plot that Helen Keller could have seen from halfway around the globe.

There are no surprises here other than barf. That's right, BARF. The only redeeming moment of this wet turd was the projectile vomiting. Had she vomited on the made-by-kids-forced-into-slave-labor MAC, I would have given this movie another star.

The whole, "oh dad just leave me alone to be me" thing has been absolutely beaten to death year after year by Hollywood to the point where I didn't think anyone in their right mind could possibly consider funding this garbage. I guess when you are going to piggy back off the success of a (only the gods know why) hit TV series, anything goes.

I honestly don't see the appeal in ripping off everyone's music to make yet another version with lame electronic beats being thrown about.

Dear wannabe DJ rejects,

Owning a MAC doesn't make you a DJ, sorry. Anyone can own a iPod, MAC and or better notebook/laptop/tablet and download MP3s and then play them at a party.

Owning a giant pair of headphones with a lot of bass doesn't make you a DJ either. Anyone, literally ANYONE on this freaking planet can buy headphones.

Ruining original music by slapping whatever garbage beats you think are fresh/phat/sick/dope doesn't make you more innovative or interesting at all. Could you be more unoriginal? A one year old crapping himself while giggling can come up with this stuff. Just put the MAC in front of him and let him start slapping away at the keys and before you know it, a rave/party/whatever will break out.

It takes 0 talent to cut and paste some MP3s together, layer your own BS you've ripped off of someone else, then start altering the pitch while holding one earphone up to your head and gyrating like a complete idiot. Go learn to play an instrument and get some musical background and before you know it you'll be tossing all that electronic crap in the garbage where it belongs.

Total Recall (I) (2012)

Shampoo Commercial/Movie

[5/10 · 15 December 2012]

I honestly have nothing against any of the actors in this movie. Farrell is a lucky guy to be working with Beckinsale and Biel who are both quite delicious, and Bryon Cranston is an absolutely amazing actor, however, it felt like it was too soon for Mr. White to be making an appearance in a movie. As of writing this review Breaking Bad hasn't finished yet so it just seems weird to have Heisenberg doing anything else right now. I kept waiting for Jesse to appear.

It's not that Beckinsale isn't lacking beauty, but it seemed like the director was all too focused on her look the entire time. She looks great, her makeup looks great, her hair looks perfect, but it started to feel like a shampoo or hair color commercial after a while. There were numerous slow motion or still shots of her that felt contrived and geared towards showing off her look instead of her acting. Not that she's ever done anything that epic. She does the action thing just fine but sometimes I think they're making her character tougher than her frame would actually support because she's such a tiny little thing.

Colin Farrell is just, you know, Colin Farrell. I can't rip on the guy too much because he stays busy, he stays in shape and he's working with some great people and beautiful women, it's just that I keep waiting for him to do something really epic that really digs into his acting skills. I mean something that really grabs you, and in turn, nabs him an Oscar. I think he's got it in him, but it definitely wasn't in this movie.

Biel is really starting to grow on me. I'm believing her characters and I just like her overall because something about her just seems REAL. There wasn't anything spectacular about her in this movie, but she didn't kill it either. Much like Collin, I'm waiting for Jessica to do something so epic that it gets her at least a Golden Globe if not an Oscar. I loved her in The Illusionist. Absolutely LOVED that movie and her character specifically. Eventually a director will come along that can see through the action and obvious beauty and really bring out what I believe to be some serious acting skills which haven't quite been fully tapped yet.

Aside from the actors and acting, the movie is a festival of eye candy. Lovers of the sci-fi visuals will not be disappointed, however, that's about all you are going to get. Although this one had a decent story which didn't try to copy the original scene for scene, the original story was far more interesting.

Not an unpleasant experience and a decent way to kill 2 hours.

Casa de mi Padre (2012)

classic, intelligent humor

[9/10 · 17 July 2012]

This movie is getting ripped on left and right, thankfully I decided to give it a shot anyway and was pleasantly surprised. The humor is pretty old-school which you rarely see these days. They don't spoon-feed the audience a lot of obvious HAW and BAHAHAHA moments which is what makes this movie clever. I got the direction and what they were trying to accomplish throughout. Loved the way it was shot, especially the cut scenes where the director really had some fun. For those of you who enjoy comedy on many different levels, this one is a must. Oh, and could Genesis Rodriguez be any hotter? Stunning woman. Very much enjoyed this flick and I hope people give it a chance. Don't believe all the negative hype. Popular opinion is rarely the right opinion.

Suck (2009)

surprisingly entertaining

[9/10 · 3 September 2010]

mmmmmmmmk. I do love a good surprise and this film doesn't disappoint. Keep in mind I'm not into all the goth, vampire, teen-angst-I-hate-my- parents-and-desperately-need-attention-from-anyone scene, but this film entertains throughout. It's well thought out and continues to flow throughout with plenty of amusing tidbits and darker yet somehow still light-hearted moments which will make just about anyone lolz. I particularly enjoyed the direction and choice of cast here. Everyone seemed to fit into their roles brilliantly, including all of the famous rock n rollers from days of yore. Nice to see everyone is working and keeping their sense of humor as opposed to overdosing and kicking off way too early.

There are a lot of fun visuals going on in this movie which take the viewer on a journey deep into the minds of the characters, but pulling back just at the right time to make way for some genuinely humorous moments. The direction ranges anywhere from B to A at any given moment and transitions nicely between the two. Thankfully the B moments retain some brilliance as well saving them from being misguided and flat.

For someone who isn't that into this particular kind of music, I somehow managed to find my way through the audio tracks and ended up actually liking a few in the end. They are believable, at times heart-felt and yet hilarious when called for. This Is Your Brain On Drugs was particularly entertaining :)

I must say that Alex Lifeson is evolving into quite the actor! I've thoroughly enjoyed his stuff on the most recent RUSH dvds and it just keeps getting better and better. His scenes in this movie had me in tears laughing :)

I highly recommend this film to anyone who is into the whole vampire meets rock n roll thing with a twist of funny.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

this one left a lasting impression

[8/10 · 12 June 2010]

So I'm sitting there after having watched the first games of the 2010 World Cup and finishing off a 2nd bottle of wine when I decide to dig through some movies I had recently grabbed. Low and behold there's The Human Centipede just beckoning me to sit for a spell. So I load up the bong to camp out in front of the computer for a bit and hit play.

Our two main characters at the beginning are cute girls who are 'lost and stranded far away from home' (excuse the Gamma Ray lyric steal) which sets the mood for your typical horror flick. The acting is questionable, but not the worst I've seen by far. Anyone who has seen Komodo vs. Cobra knows what I'm talking about. Besides that they are cute and delicious so who really cares how solid the acting is. Some of the dialogue is actually viable so there's that.

I was really considering whether or not to ditch the movie at the onset as it was a bit slow gathering momentum, but then along came a spider in the form of our good doctor. The girls needed help, his house was nearby and fasten your seat-belts kids cause this movie is about to take you for a ride.

I honestly had absolutely no clue as to what was about to take shape in the basement / operating room. I saw images from the cover and heard some scuttlebutt online, but I just figured maybe he was mutilating some folks to make a funky human centipede type thing via thorax etc. Holy crapanoli Batman was I in for a shock! I've seen some sick stuff in my time and didn't think there'd be much left that could come close to Cannibal Holocaust as far as revolting film, but I stood corrected.

This movie definitely pushes some limits friends and neighbors. Even the most hardcore fans of the genre will take pause to absorb what the good doctor pulls off. Nevermind all the verbal internet diarrhea related to the medical experiment in this movie. IT'S A MOVIE FFS! It's supposed to be fantastical and absurd and shocking and that's exactly what our director accomplishes. Sure there are holes (pun intended) galore with the actors and languages and plausibility between this fact and that, but none of these things take away from what's happening on screen. There's sheer terror and revolting turns that'll keep the fan of the weird, bizarre and disgusting quite contented.

I'm surprised they actually found people to play these parts. I'd have been laughing my ass off the entire time being hooked up to another person's back door while filming. I guess that's why they didn't hire me :( For all the questionable acting there are plenty of solid scenes which compensate. There are worse actors, there are worse scripts and much worse films. If you like this genre, The Human Centipede is worth a serious look. Don't go by one bad review. I still can't believe the director pulled this off :) This was a fun ride in the land of the totally messed up!

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

weak

[2/10 · 31 August 2008]

Wayyy overrated! I went into this thing expecting to be shocked, disgusted or even traumatized in some way, and instead I was bored. I read all of the reviews commenting on how "great" and "intense" this movie was only to be let down completely. The acting is pretty horrific, the entire plot is a mess, and the violence is mostly laughable.

If you enjoy fake rape or the totally unnecessary killing of real animals, this film is for you. I'm a little more interested in story, acting and directing, none of which can be found here. Ignore any and all reviews praising this as some kind of cult classic with special artistic value or hidden meaning only the truly gifted can comprehend. It's a poorly executed attempt at shock, and ends up falling well short of being anything less than an hour and a half of your life wasted.