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The_Psychic_Goat
Reviews
The Bank Job (2008)
Worst Film of the Year So Far!
I saw this film at a free preview a few weeks before its official release. I was really looking forward to it having seen the trailer and was very disappointed by the quality of it.
I don't mind British gangster films when done well. Layer Cake for instance was excellent and Snatch was alright but this seemed very poorly acted and the dialogue was laughable.
I would particularly single out Saffron Burrow's acting as astoundingly poor. She was more wooden than a log cabin. Her character was supposed to trick the other characters into doing something and I found it surprising that they would believe her as it was so obvious that she was supposed to be lying. They would have had to be both blind and deaf for it to be believable that she could deceive them.
Jason Statham did what he always does which I didn't mind in Crank as it was somewhat amusing but here I just found him very irritating. His character seemed a bit misogynistic and he was clearly supposed to be a 'loveable rogue' but I definitely disliked him.
It did get slightly better in the second half to be fair but it was an extremely noisy and annoying film. It was also rather dull during the initial stages and I kept nearly falling asleep only to be woken a few seconds later by the noise.
The main problem with this film is that none of the characters are at all likable. I really wanted them to get caught by the police! Not all characters have to be likable (eg There Will Be Blood didn't have any likable characters) but when you are supposed to be on someone's side and you just want them to fail then it's clearly not working.
Simply Irresistible (1999)
Simply unwatchable
In this romantic comedy (if you could call it that) Sarah Michelle Gellar, star of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, stars as a cook who gets magical powers and uses them to cook very nice food. It sounds like a cute idea but the film does not work on any level. The acting was awful. Gellar, although not one of my favourite actresses, normally seems to possess a basic level of acting ability in Buffy but it is not apparent here. Sean Patrick Flanery is also very tedious in this film. They are supposedly in love but the two leads show no chemistry and in fact seem generally bored throughout the film. Not that I can entirely blame them given that the dialogue means that it would be extremely difficult for them to seem at all like believable human beings. The story was just absurd and the special effects (particularly the infamous crab) were just painfully bad. The director does not seem to have made any effort at all. I wasn't expecting a masterpiece but I was hoping to be entertained in some way by this film but it's truly bad. I lost hope about 20 minutes before the ending and left which is quite unusual for me as I like to finish what I start. However, this is a film which justifies walking out. Definitely one of the worst films I've seen in years.
1/10 - Give this one a miss