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Reviews
The Gringo Papi (2022)
This is NOT a comedy special.
Once again Brendan Schaub has produced the bare minimum, dressed it up in cheap, glittering wrapping with a bright ribbon around it and tried to pass off what is a bargain bucket item as a luxury gift.
If you would like to see a funnier comedy set, with funnier jokes and better delivery invite your uncle over for a barbecue and get him loaded. Because the bar is set extremely low here. Somehow Brendan has out done himself and produced something even worse than his first comedy special, You'd be surprised.
There's barely 5 minutes worth of actual material in the set, but Brendan manages to fill it out into a whole 26 minutes by continuously declaring his love for Austin, Texas and the frequent "Faaaack!" which is the punchline for multiple jokes throughout.
It manages to go way beyond the 'so bad it's actually good' phase, it's definitely 'so bad' but there is absolutely nothing to salvage from the wreckage. All of the jokes are terrible, his style of performing is awful and the sound quality is rather poor.
Somehow, despite being able to watch this for free on YouTube, I still feel like I've been sold short. Brendan should have to pay people to watch this garbage.
The LA comedy scene is already on it's knees, and if this is what they are going to continue supporting they should do everybody a favour and perform harakiri.
The Irishman (2019)
I aren't seeing what all the fuss is about. This is below average and way below Scorsese's standards.
I watched this movie on Netflix and was utterly underwhelmed by it after the three and a half hours I endured.
Robert De Niro is a brilliant actor who has a brilliant history but his talent has certainly faded with age and he can no longer deliver convincing performances, certainly not in this sort of role at least. Earlier scenes where he is portraying the much younger character were almost laughable, his hair and wrinkles were touched up to take years off his appearance but you couldn't help but see an aged man and it ruined every scene. There's a particular one in which he confirms someone for something they did to his daughter and the guy screams in pain but De Nero can barely lift his foot off the ground let alone swing a convincing blow.
Al Pacino was equally as bad, some of his line delivery was worse than kids performing in a school nativity play in primary school. He did have a couple of good scenes but on the whole it was another tragic Pacino performance.
As for the film storyline, there is just not enough substance in there to justify the runtime. I was seriously bored less than an hour into it and at the end of it was left feeling like I'd wasted my time. There is somewhat of an interesting gangster movie in there but there are far more irrelevant and unfulfilling scenes. I feel like there is at least an hour that could have been cut from the film that wouldn't have taken anything away from the story.
It's a shame, I was really looking forward to watching this and bought into all the hype but it didn't come close to living up to it.
Brendan Schaub: You'd Be Surprised (2019)
Surprised by how bad this special was.
Brendan Schaub certainly delivers on his promise, I was surprised when watching this special. However I am pretty sure his intention was not surprising everybody with just how bad this hour long special was. I have been a long time occasional listener of the TFATK podcast and there have been a number of times Brendan has made me laugh through the years but nothing within this whole special landed.
I heard Brendan talking about his style of comedy a couple of years ago when he was first getting into it and how he was more of a "story teller" than someone who simply cracks a bunch of jokes. I was eager to hear some of these stories as I was sure someone with his history as a football player, professional fighter and who spends almost his entire life surrounded by some of the worlds best comedians would have a ton of golden moments he could use for his show.
But instead we hear self deprecating jokes about his own fashion and a story about him having his hair cut by a guy who turned out to be Asian which I don't even understand how it produced a positive reaction from the live audience. I am not a social justice warrior or someone who goes out of their way to find offence in anything which mentions sexual orientation, gender or race but how is an Asian guy cutting hair funny? Someone please fill me in on that one.
There were also a bunch of moments throughout the set which I found rather cringe worthy. Name dropping Joey Diaz and Eddie Bravo for example, they were not especially funny even to me who knows who both those people are so I don't know how a wider audience who most likely doesn't know who either of them are would find those parts at all amusing.
The end segment seems less about trying to make people laugh and rather pull on the audiences heart strings. However most fans, even those who aren't frequent listeners would be able to pick up parts of his story which are not even true as we have heard him mention the stories before on the podcasts, which is fine but if you are going to embellish the story during a comedy special why not at least embellish it for comedic effect?
It wasn't the most unpleasant hour of my life. That's the best compliment I think I can give it.
Enemy (2013)
The weirdest yet most enjoyable movie experience I have had in years.
Villeneuve has came out and produced another brilliant film, I love that he has used Jake Gyllenhall again after Prisoners. He owns this film with a wonderful performance.
There is a lot of confusion about the film and what the spiders represent, was there really 2 Jakes or were they the same guy? I have read some pretty interesting ideas from other people, I don't claim to completely understand it but would like to throw something out there for consideration.
The movie opens with the biggest clue of how to understand what your about to see when the message "Chaos is order yet undeciphered" appears. The whole movie is like a jigsaw puzzle that will make sense if you can put it together in the correct order.
I have not read every review or theory on it but from the ones I have read all seem to believe that the scene in the "Sex Club" we see at the beginning happens before most of the other scenes and that the scene at the end where he tells the wife he plans on going out before she turns into a giant spider is him repeating the cycle all over again.
In my opinion the "Sex Club" scene takes place afterwards, we see him walking down the corridor with the caretaker and only Jake has a key, he lets the caretaker in. We hear in the elevator the caretaker has been before but does not think he will get a new key. So it's my opinion that the key in the envelope is the new keys that were being sent out and he as a favour allows the caretaker to tag along.
There are some clues throughout the film though that go along with the theme of history repeating himself for example when we hear Jake give a lecture and then the same lecture slightly mumbled and less enthusiastic. I have read people say this represents his day to day life however my opinion is that they are actually a year apart. He was giving the same lecture to the next generation of students. I believe that most of the story takes place over a period of a year based on the 2 incidents where "6 months" is mentioned. The first is when he goes to the talent agency and the security guard has not seen him in 6 months, and then again when his wife says she is 6 months pregnant.
I won't go through every scene and tell you my opinion of what goes where as part of the fun is figuring it out for yourself by watching it a second and even third time.
I could be way off with all of this and completely wrong, but in my opinion that is the beauty of this movie.
Dexter: Remember the Monsters? (2013)
Sad to see it end this way but it is not nearly as bad as people are saying.
This is not so much a review but more like my thoughts on the finale episode.
I understand why people are so upset with the way it ended however I think it was quite good. A common theme throughout Dexter has been him battling to be a regular guy and not have the burden of his dark passenger and this has lead to him losing his brother, wife and colleagues and now finally it has caused him to lose the 1 constant in his life and the person he was the closest to as he thought he was doing the right thing but it has lead to Deb getting shot and becoming brain dead.
All he has left in the world now is Hannah and Harrison, Hannah is his kindred spirit a killer who also has only ever wanted a normal life. Losing Deb is the straw that broke the camels back and Dexter thinks if he stays in their lives he will eventually kill (indirectly) Hannah and Harrison too and so he gives Hannah the fresh start and new life she was looking for with someone who she loves and loves her in Harrison and he knows she will look after him and give him a better life than Harry gave Dexter.
Dexter going to visit Deb for the final time in his "kill uniform" and the way he put her out of her misery and buried her at sea like one of his victims was pure emotion and I think it was a great piece of writing and acting.
I think the final bit where he is in Alaska (I think) working as a lumberjack with a full beard and messy hair I think is supposed to represent that Dexter has gave in to his beast now there is no love left in him and the only people he will hurt are the ones who deserve it.
I feel that is a decent ending.
However I do think (and I guess why so many people are upset) it could have been a lot better and a lot more. I personally would have loved to see Dexters cover completely blown and revealed for what he is, I thought that is where they were going when he killed Saxon and it was all on CCTV but the fact he was able to kill a man with a pen so viciously then calmly press the panic button and act all shaken seemed to be accepted as normal by Batista, there is some inclination that Quinn realised but he accepted it because he also loved Deb.
I feel the writers neglected this part of the story and chose to focus more on the Hannah story and I don't know why. Batista and Quinn have been a massive part of the Dexter series who have also lost many people who they love directly at the hands of Dexter and indirectly because of Dexter's actions and I think they deserved more of a finale than becoming teary eyed emotional wrecks.
Brawler (2011)
Listen to bobs advice!
This film is absolutely awful! The production quality is really crappy, the acting is terrible, the dialogue is tedious. It is generally all round poor and there is nothing about it at all that should make you waste 1 second of your life watching this film. I gave up about 30 minutes in just because I wanted to give it a chance, I wanted to turn it off after 10.
However Bob Dobbs review is brilliant and his recommendation to watch The Battery is the only decent thing that Brawler has added to my life. The Battery is equally low budget and obviously isn't a blockbuster or high quality film. However it is really entertaining and interesting to watch. And compared to Brawler it is like a multi-Oscar winning film.
In Time (2011)
So So Soooo bad, everything about this film was poor.
I am not an obsessive fan when it comes to movies and I give each movie every chance and do not tend to feel the need to share my opinion on them. But this movie really pushed me to my limit and I feel I have to say something as it has a truly undeserved 6.6 rating when everything was so terrible.
The acting was dreadful, Justin Timberlake let himself down here big time his line delivery and reactions to certain events was just so bad it is hard to even know where to begin when criticising him. He was not alone though the whole cast was poor there was not a single decent performance in the whole film.
The script was so weak, I could write a better one and I failed GCSE English. Also the poker scene was truly awful, I know most people in the world do not know much about poker but surely if your going to put it into your movie you could at least learn a little bit about it.
First things first I will start with what happened after the hand, Will is congratulated like he just played very well and won because he was a better player, when in fact he played it shockingly. Almost all of the time was put into the pot before the river card was dealt. Will had only 9 high at this time and could only win if he hit a gut shot straight which meant there was 4 cards left in the pack that he could win the hand with. On top of that, Will says something to his opponent about knowing that he did not have a good hand, when the cards are turned over at the end he shows 3 queens, which at the time was the 3rd best possible hand there could have possibly been only losing to 89 and JT. I barely know much about poker myself but I have played a little and this scene was outrageous.
The special effects were as big a joke as the acting, just watch the car crash scene where they burst his tyres with a stinger and send him rolling down the hill. I have seen better in Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends.
What I feel was the main flaw was the story **** main spoiler coming here*****
When his mother dies as she ran out of time because the bus fare had doubled meaning she had to walk. I thought initially that was a good idea, them running desperately to each other her with seconds left and him with his new found fortune of 100 years. In my mind I thought 'oh no, now it's on!' They have killed his mother because nobody would even give her 1minute of their life to save her.
I could picture it, the ultimate revenge. He was going to take all the time in the world because they had taken his mother who was all he had. But alas, he hardly gave her a second thought for the rest of the movie.
In fact there was some weird back story about his father between him and the police officer that was out to get him. I thought it got totally dull and boring from there on, in a way he was getting revenge on the system but there was no mention of his dead mother still lying on the street.
There are a million jokes about how time has been wasted watching this film that I wont ever get back so I wont bother.