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Reviews
The Master of Disguise (2002)
Terribly funny
I don't understand how so many people hate this movie! I think it's just gang mentality or something because this is a really funny movie. Is it a good movie? Hell no! What kind of fool would walk into "Master of Disguise" expecting a solid piece of captivating story telling? Master of Disguise is nothing more than a bunch of childish jokes and impressions that are thrown in for no good reason other than to showcase carvie's talent. And guess what? they're hilarious! The best thing about this movie is everyone involved knows the movie is just ridiculous but the cast puts everything they've got into it anyway and play their characters as if they were serious.
I could imagine kids would laugh at this like crazy! I love the joke about how the disguisees only like women with huge hips and in one scene the dana carvie and his uncle are admiring this fat lady from behind, but then the lady turns around and its this fat guy with a beard wearing a dress!!! both of them recoil in disgust! Stupid? yes but it works for some reason. I enjoyed it a lot!
Shao Lin tong zi gong (1981)
Brutally violent children's movie
I rented this movie because I thought that since the wu tang clan recommended it that it would be good. I was very wrong. Shaolin Chastity Kung Fu turns out to be an INCREDIBLY cheesy children's movie with a few good fight scenes, a lot of annoying characters and some shamefully misplaced scenes of brutal violence!
The story is about a bunch of kids whose village is destroyed by a gang of villains and then the children meet some shaolin monks who protect the kids and teach them kung fu so they can defend themselves from the villains. The plot is somewhat original for a kung fu film and the children (who age from about 8 to 20) have some impressive acrobatic skills. Another thing this movie has going for it is that it has a refreshingly good natured feel to it. The monks teach the children to be good and tolerant and accept people of different cultures. there's even some main characters who are Japanese and they are portrayed as honorable people! If you watch a lot of Chinese kung fu films you know how rare this is!
Even though i like the above mentioned aspects of the movie, overall it's just way too cheesy for my taste. I almost want to recommend this movie for family viewing but unfortunately even though 95 percent of the movie is a harmless child oriented action comedy there's a bunch of scenes filled with R rated violence. There's a part where a guy gets cut in half, a scene where a monk has his head crushed with a giant rock, a scene where two of the older kids crush a man's head with their bare hands with blood SPRAYING out of his head!, there's even a disturbing scene where a bunch of laughing nine year olds beat a man to a bloody death with bamboo sticks!! What the hell were they thinking?
Anyway to end on a happy note the director of this film along with the fabulous Alexander Lou went on to direct one of my favorite ninja movies of all time: MAFIA VS. NINJA!!! If you were disappointed with this one Mafia vs. Ninja will totally cheer you up!
Ying zi jun tuan (1984)
"that's right, I forgot, you're a ninja!"
Super Ninja is a ninja extravaganza that is one of my favorite ninja movies. This ninja movie is extremely cheap and has awful acting, very laughable dialogue, and dubbing so horrible many viewers will never be the same afterwards. On the other hand the movie is fast paced so you don't get bored, the plot although simplistic gives context to really cool ninja fight scenes that are surprisingly top notch.
Alexander Lou who also kicks serious ass in Mafia vs. Ninja plays John, a tough ninja cop working in the USA with his partner who is a stereotypical jive talking black man named spencer. While investigating criminals who are in league with ninjas John and Spencer experience harassment from their evil caucasian police chief and the other racist caucasian police who decide to frame John because he was interfering with police/mafia business deals. John is put in a cell and is tortured by the racist police and has flashbacks to his brutal ninja training until he escapes by beating the s*** out of all the honkey ass yahoo police in a head on action packed escape scene. John although a fugitive still is determined to crack the case of the Five element Ninjas who all specialize in specific ninja tactics. Spencer helps John kick ass *SPOILER START* until spencer sells out John to get money so he can fit into "the white man's world" *SPOILER END* John is outnumbered but he is an indestructable Super Ninja hence the title of the film. He proves this by fighting all five of the five element ninjas who are extremely deadly even to John. The best is at the end when John dresses up in his white ninja uniform, equips himself with a bunch of awesome ninja tools and infiltrates the Ninja mansion estate killing everyone in his path.
If you watch a lot of kung fu like me you will be surprised at how good the fighting is in this incredibly cheap movie and as long as you can embrace unintentional hillarity in pathetic acting, dubbing, effects, sets, dialogue, and race related politics (chinese good everyone else bad) this is the perfect movie to watch with like minded people. If you liked the pathetic and hillarious Mafia vs. Ninja you will find Super Ninja similarily awesome without any doubt!! buy it or rent it today!!