paul51 Reviews

The Jilting of Granny Weatherall (1980 TV Movie)

Largely verbatim

[5/10 · 21 June 2010]

I had to watch this as part of my high school English class, so I had just finished reading the original version immediately before viewing it.

It was interesting to see the story put into a visual medium, but there was very little dramatic license taken with it.

The acting is not bad, albeit dated---even by my high school standards (the video was a full 10 years old then). I remember the actor playing the role of George causing some comic relief for the girls in the class; they often referred to him as "that pretty boy that looks like he's constipated".

It's not a bad rendition, all things considered. For young people that may be having trouble reconciling some of the things that are described in the story, the movie does a good job of clearing some of the hazier matters up (for me in particular, when she is trying to tell her relatives a list of things she wants to leave to her friends, family, and relations, I could not quite understand why the people surrounding her weren't seeming to pay attention---this is clarified in the film by having her inner monologue being clearly audible, but her character in reality is so far gone that she is not speaking clearly enough to be understood).

Robin Hood (2010)

Understated failure

[3/10 · 18 May 2010]

The movie starts out with much more realistic leanings than any other iteration I've ever encountered and is quite refreshingly understated for much of it's duration, and *most* of the action is well within the boundaries of dramatic license and suspension of disbelief. The acting across the board is commendable.

However, the movie is slow to build, and never at any point does the movie do a passable job of engendering care for any of the characters, Robin and Marion included. The sub plot of Robin's past is barely an afterthought. Nothing happens in the movie to truly stoke his memory. He simply closes his eyes on command and is given perfect clarity and total recall. What could have been a saving stroke of grace for this film---the recasting of the traditional antagonists in even a slightly different light---proves to be nothing more than a tease. They all return to traditional form without truly giving us a moment's wondering.

All that having been said, it is the last few minutes of the movie, the "reverse Normandy" sequence, that completely and utterly sends this movie into the refuse bin.

1) It shamelessly borrows its cinematography from Saving Private Ryan, complete with underwater shots of drowning soldiers and arrows piercing the water. And apparently, we're supposed to accept that the Medieval French had Higgins boats. Need more be said? Facepalm worthy when they're sailing in, worth raucous and derisive laughter when they slide ashore and drop their ramp.

2) Sudden reversal of realistic leanings---Marion riding in wearing armor that is an obvious nod to the armor Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio wore in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, followed by previously and heretofore unexplained Lord of the Flies children, now all astride Shetland Ponies and suddenly rather excellent cavalrymen.

3) Obligatory 300 yard arrow shot through the neck of the principal antagonist. It even fails to be a properly ignominious death---the last time you see him, he's still alive and smiling.

I didn't expect a great deal from this film. The understated beginning brought me slim hopes, but by the final act the only thing keeping me in my theater seat was my desire to be courteous to the other movie-goers.

The Happening (2008)

Finest example of a very small genre.

[3/10 · 11 October 2008]

...and that genre is "bland eschatology".

The Sixth Sense actually caught me somewhat off-guard, but that's the last time M. Night did so. Signs and the "swing away" thing was somewhat impossible to completely predict, but that just made it harder to buy into, and therefore cost it most of its dramatic effect.

I hadn't heard anything *at all* about The Happening before I gave it a watch on pay-per-view and I have to say this one didn't deliver any kind of twist. I knew what was going to cause whatever bad thing that was going to (sigh) happen the instant the first scene began. When it quickly became apparent it was causing people to arbitrarily act odd and then kill themselves in all sorts of ways, I laughed.

Why? It's not that I'd find such a device in a movie necessarily laughable, it's that the vapid characters and largely unengaging acting made it quickly apparent that the movie was akin to a disaster flick where the disaster itself carries the movie and doesn't have to heavily rely on the individual characters to complete itself.

The problem is, the film doesn't succeed. The causal factor for "The Happening" is implausible, even for someone who doesn't know a monochot from a dichot or a pistil from a stamen. That the film spends the lion's share of itself depicting all the different ways people choose to commit suicide just develops it into a higher-budget "Faces of Death" with worse acting.

A properly written story would have involved people just arbitrarily dropping dead...or, if you wanted something more fitting (and suitably gory), arbitrarily collapsing and writhing around while spontaneously and instantly decomposing into fertilizer. Of course, this would have meant the entire film would require better acting and much better characterization.

TLDR version: Thinly veiled environmentalist admonishment that is poorly written and unbelievably hokey with extremely sub-par acting. Barely worth a rental.

Maximum Overdrive (1986)

God awful but fun

[2/10 · 20 July 2008]

Well, Mr. King has demonstrated on several occasions why writers are normally not allowed to be anywhere near the filming of their own works. To his credit, he has shown improvement in this department...though the TV miniseries adaptation of The Stand is still something you couldn't consider "good" by any stretch of the imagination, it was a cut above this film.

This is the sort of movie you loved as a kid because you are gullible enough to be scared by the premise and the violence. Classic and good for a few laughs, no doubt.

Mr. King has written some wonderful novels, but still has yet to direct anything that comes up to that level.

One Magic Christmas (1985)

Excellent departure from the norm

[8/10 · 20 July 2008]

Despite being dark, this Christmas movie is a pleasant alternative to the usual fare that is warm and charming but fails to challenge us.

It looks like the people who will be most disappointed by this film are those who tune in expecting to see stereotypical Disney fluff.

Best viewed by older children who can handle the idea of tragedy sandwiched around non-idyllic home life. If your kids are still under 7 or 8 years old, probably best not to risk any emotional fallout.

If you'd rather not have to think and be availed of emotions other than happiness, don't show this one to your kids. If you prefer something different and thought provoking, it's more than worth a watch.

Nate and Hayes (1983)

Lighthearted and fun

[6/10 · 21 June 2007]

I thoroughly enjoyed Nate and Hayes as a "tween"---it had all the things a young fella would look for...action, adventure, and wry, often purposefully bad humor.

Certainly ranks up there with the Indiana Jones flicks as far as scripting and subject matter, just lacked the funding to be as over the top. Still, the film does not stretch beyond its means in this regard, as Temple of Doom tended to (ie the inflatable lifeboat "parachute" sequence).

As many folks here have mentioned, this is Saturday afternoon fare at its finest. Not to be taken seriously, does not take itself seriously, yet remains a class act.

Against the Odds (1982–1984)

This show depressed me...

[15 April 2007]

...because it signaled bedtime.

Being a kid, I never was too interested in watching Against the Odds...a very odd choice for a show to appear on Nickelodeon right before the "sign off" around 8-9pm (this was prior to Nick At Nite, it was called something else in those days).

I think my fondest memory of it was Bill Bixby unexpectedly showing up at the beginning of an episode of "Out of Control" starring Dave Coulier, who asked Bixby if he could change into the Hulk for him. Bixby explained he was in the wrong studio, he'd meant to go to the one where they were filming "Against the Odds".

Gummo (1997)

Yeah well...it's "art"

[5/10 · 11 December 2006]

If you want to call it work of art, I guess I'm unqualified to critique Gummo. But as far as typical movies go, very few people will glean a great deal from this film beyond "What the hell was that?" The work is an object to be reacted to, not a film to watch and understand in the normal sense. The bath scene nearly made me throw up (I think it was either the bacon taped to the wall, or the noises the kid makes when eating the chocolate bar, topped off with the fact he drops it in the lurid green water he's bathing in and continues to eat it anyway).

I saw this film at an artsy-fartsy old theater in an area not far from where the director attended high school. When I left, I was pretty confused but I figured that Gummo was one of the things you had to make if you were gunning for a spot in Nirvana close to Andy Warhol.

Classic post script (probably could have found a spot in a DVD extra if I'd filmed it): The same friend I saw the film with and I bumped into the midget from the arm-wrestling scene directly across the street from the theater we saw it in. Bastard tried to hit us up for money.

Invaders from Mars (1986)

Aeiou I'll get you Tobe Hooper!

[4/10 · 25 November 2005]

Yeah, this movie was bad, but I'm sure that was part of the intent. Of course this sort of flick would have honestly spooked people in the 50s but now it's just one of those nostalgia remakes and it was just out of place in even in the 80s.

There's a mix of horrible (probably intentional) and passable acting. I'm not sure if you'd call this movie "big budget" or not --- there was definitely some money behind it but I noticed people using recycled props from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (specifically, Saavik's tricorder. Double geek points for me ;p).

I don't think this is one you'd really want to show to kids under 10, especially given the fact it has an elementary school kid being terrorized by adult authority figures...and aliens. The ending would also scare the crap out of young kids, I think. I don't think this movie would really even go over well with 10-12 year olds since they'd probably find it pretty campy even at that age.

The original was right for its time and place to a certain extent. This remake is just a full technicolor backwards glance at the original. Good for a few cheap laughs.

The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)

Brainless but worth a rental

[5/10 · 16 August 2005]

First off, comparing this movie to the old TV series in an effort to explain why the movie is horrible is an absolutely hilarious mistake. The old TV show was TERRIBLE, folks! It was more campy and contrived than this flick could ever be considered---and admittedly that isn't saying a great deal.

The things that make this movie better than the show: 1) the General Lee doesn't fly through a 30 minute chase scene and come out completely unscathed, 2) they actually RUN MOONSHINE, 3) the Hazzard exterior scenes were filmed in a genuine brackish, swampy, southern location (as opposed to the Hollywood hills), 4) they don't let the brainless token pair of ta-tas screw it up too much, 5) they actually admit what state Hazzard County is in.

Things in the movie I could have done without: 1) Jessica Simpson, 2) Willie Nelson's relegation to doing absolutely nothing but spouting out an endless stream of purposefully bad one-liners, 3) turning Bo Duke into some sort of borderline sociopath, 4) the reduction of key parts, namely Roscoe P. Coltrane, Enos, and Boss Hogg, down to near afterthoughts.

The movie is essentially half-drunk and doesn't take itself too seriously. Provided you do the same, you'll probably get a chuckle or three out of it.

She-Ra: Princess of Power (1985–1987)

Fond memories.

[26 June 2005]

Yeah, ol' Lou Schiemer and Filmation did some classic stuff in the 80s.

I remember going to the theater to see 'He-Man and She-Ra: The Secret of the Sword'. It was one of the few movies I actually got to go to in between my early childhood and late adolescence (I think I was grounded from the time I was 10 until I was 18).

Heh, interesting memories. The friend I'd seen the movie with was the BIG He-Man fan, I was more of a GI Joe/Transformer fan (at least as far as our respective toy collections were concerned). He was always complaining about She-Ra pulling off ridiculous feats of strength without much effort---I believe in one episode she moves a large celestial body or large building or some such with one hand, whereas in some other episode of He-Man's show it was some sort of face-twisting hernia-inducing task for He-Man to lift Castle Greyskull off its foundations. It was *so* important for us to discuss this stuff! Ah, the bliss of youth, I do miss it.

I remember the She-Ra cartoon being a little bit flashier looking than the He-Man one. It used a lot more of that orange-yellow-scintillating light-effect-thing that Filmation made use of a lot in its cartoons, usually for "magic portals" and such. And of course the music had more depth to it. Most Filmation cartoons that I can remember usually had an instrumental version of the theme song over the end credits. Of course in the case of He-Man it was just the opening theme with none of the narration. Not only did She-Ra's end credit sequence involve lyrics but DIFFERENT lyrics and evidently a different song! OK, enough of my rambling. I heard recently She-Ra had a higher budget than He-Man...I'm pretty sure the extra money went into golden-scintillating light...portal...things and the music. ;)

Ring King (1985 Video Game)

Little known game, but it was a good one.

[14 June 2005]

This game had quite a bit of depth to it...unlike Punch Out, this game wasn't about knowing the opponent's scripted moves and using the right timing/combinations to counter them. It was as close as the 80s arcade games came to Tekken or the like. Three dimensional movement, and the fighting was not as predictable or canned.

I don't recall if there was a console version of this game, but I seriously doubt it would have come anywhere close to the quarter-eater. It did become insanely difficult after defeating the second or third opponent, though.

Only other strike against this game was the between-round animation. Anyone who remembers it knows it was a very thinly-veiled sexual reference.

Punch-Out!! (1983 Video Game)

This is the arcade game, not the console game

[26 April 2005]

A fun quarter-eater from the early 80s. Though the version of this game for the Nintendo (Mike Tyson's Punch Out) didn't look quite as impressive or have the same sound quality, it had more depth.

Never beat the game myself but I saw it get beaten several times. If I remember correctly, the opponents were "Glass Joe", "Bald Bull", "Kid Quick", and the champ was named "Mr. Sandman". There's another one in there between Glass Joe and Bald Bull but I can't remember his name. Challenging game, especially if you weren't good at timing.

Bald Bull went on to make a guest appearance in another arcade game about arm-wrestling (as a mask-wearing character named Mr. X).

Phantasmagoria (1995 Video Game)

Just not very good

[26 April 2005]

Most of what I could say about Phantasmagoria has been said. FMV games were pretty much a new wrinkle when this game was made, so it's to be expected there'd be a few bad decisions made in production. Unfortunately, the errors in judgment are numerous.

One, filming the live action characters against bluescreen and then pasting them into a computer the early 90s. The backgrounds were only slightly higher quality than most of the predecessors by Sierra, so it's rather like low-res Roger Rabbit. You're basically limited to running and rerunning short movements for the main character, interspersed with longer scripted segments when you actually find a more than minorly important hot-spot. Afterward, the character executes her "two steps and then snap to attention" position. This could have been done much better. Only really good thing I can say is the girl has great posture.

The puzzles are relatively simple and very sparse. The old "hunt for the hot spot" routine has never been a big crowd pleaser, even when it's done extremely well (games like Star Trek: Borg handled this as good as any). In fact, the relative size of the game area (about 15-20 locations in the mansion and mansion grounds, 4 or 5 more in the nearby town) make the existing hot spots incredibly hard to find at times.

As has been said, the acting is absolutely abysmal. The main character is by far the best, even somewhat believable. Her husband does great in the first 80% of the game (not saying much - he's barely in it) but when he finally fully succumbs to the demon possessing him, he's the worst in the game by far. I've seen better acting in porn---and, honestly, that's no exaggeration. The remaining actors are on par with the less memorable incidental characters on shows like Starsky and Hutch or Star Trek.

The game does a great job of being spooky, I'll give it that, but then I'm easily spooked. The ending is rather unrewarding as well.

Game gets a C for effort, F for acting. Has some redeeming quality, but the game made most gamers wince even back then. Now, it'd just be laughed at.

Phantasmagoria 2: A Puzzle of Flesh (1996 Video Game)

Better than the first, still not great

[26 April 2005]

Full Motion Video games were a new wrinkle when the first Phantasmagoria came out, and were rapidly going the way of the passenger pigeon by the time this one was released. Sort of ironic.

This one featured smoother game play. I was glad they used more actual sets than filming entirely on bluescreen with minimal real objects (as they did in the first). Still, a lot of the locations (particularly the office and the science facility) seemed rather contrived.

The acting was far and away better than the first, though it was still not great by any means. The plot was not particularly good. Main character was fairly well developed, but the whole 'alien' aspect and all that wasn't adequately explained.

5.5 on a scale of 10.

Space Quest 6: Roger Wilco in the Spinal Frontier (1995 Video Game)

Last gasp of the "quest" games

[26 April 2005]

Out of all the Space Quest games, this one probably isn't my favorite, but it's not bad.

Sierra's quest game graphics and interface evolved predictably during their run of popularity between roughly 86 and 93, but this one was a complete departure from the others. Difficult to get used to, but still contained the same spirit.

Unfortunately, as PCs were becoming as prevalent in homes as 'platform' video games, niche and quest games were in decline as a winning proposition. Replayability is limited to going back and finding all the different parts of the puzzle you missed and all the different ways you could die. Can't really hold a candle to the sports and fighting games with largely unlimited replay value.

Fond memories of playing the series, but quest games just never do very well, despite being engaging and fun.

The Mighty Orbots (1984)

Yup, was a great cartoon.

[24 April 2005]

Great animation, great action. Even some good in-humor from the announcer/narrator (Gary Owen).

I knew this show only lasted one season and was very disappointed, but I had no idea it floundered because of a lawsuit from the creators of the very very very inferior "Gobots". Figures. Ah well, if you want to look at the silver lining, they didn't have a chance to run this show into the ground with cut-budget or somehow less fantastic additional seasons. Not that they were likely to do so, it just seems like the best stuff we remember back then was short lived, maybe because it didn't get the chance to disappoint us.

And, by the way, you guys, the Orbots' arch enemy (the big round bright orange and red...sphere of plasma with multiple eyes) was named UMBRA.

Titan A.E. (2000)

Not very good.

[3/10 · 22 April 2005]

Too much flash and not enough substance.

They create the veneer of a great universe, but never flesh it out. Characters simply vanish, the ones that don't are never given much depth. It's very reminiscent of some little-known animated flicks from the 80s in look and story-telling style (Rock and Rule, for example). Of course, they're little-known for a reason.

The animation is generally good, but the CGI used to augment certain characters and objects comes across as superimposed, almost like bad bluescreen special effects.

Films like these probably go over better in Europe or Asia, where film-goers apparently don't ask "why?" quite as often.

The Black Hole (1979)

Bleh

[2/10 · 30 March 2005]

There's a very good reason the attraction in Tomorrowland at Disney World has always been called "Space Mountain" and not "The Black Hole" even though the ride was obviously modeled after this movie.

Overall, sub par acting (especially for a veteran cast), thin plot with more suspension of disbelief than is necessary except for maybe kids under 10. And that's kids under 10 in 1979, I doubt in this day and age that many kids over the age of 8 would fail to question some of the holes.

Now, that being said, this IS a Disney movie and let's face it, the 70s aren't particularly noted for fantastic films. Take a look at some of the live-action crap Disney produced during that span (Watcher in the Woods, Unidentified Flying Oddball, The Cat From Outer Space, etc) and you can see where things were going. I've heard for years that Disney was in a very bad patch during this span (pre Eisner and the creation of dozens of new production companies to produce adult films without a "direct" link to the Disney label). They wanted to cash in on the new sci fi craze and biffed it. Just remember to thank God in your prayers every night for VCRs, cable TV and the Disney Channel - that's where the garbage that normally would have disappointed us every summer at your favorite theatre goes now.

And yeah, Anthony Perkins getting frappéd by the floating red Cuisinart gave me nightmares, too.

Command & Conquer: Tiberian Sun (1999 Video Game)

Fair game, albeit outdated. Terrible acting.

[29 March 2005]

The release of this game was delayed by at least two years, I believe due to the purchase of Westwood Games by Elecronic Arts, though I am not sure of that. Teaser trailers for the game Tiberian Sun have been included on Westwood Games for literally YEARS before they finally released it.

As a result, the game was outdated the minute it was released. The graphics are sub-par compared to other games released in the same time frame. Ironically, Tiberian Sun was released AFTER Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2, and RA2's graphics and game mechanics are largely superior.

The voice acting...uh...I've never been really impressed with Kane but his appearances in this are less impressive than his 5 second appearance in the first Red Alert. And wow, Michael Biehn is completely bad. I thought he was solid in Aliens, but...his career hasn't skyrocketed and I can see why (Adventure, Inc? GAG). Even James Earl Jones doesn't really spice it up much. I heard they filmed the video sequences over the course of about two weeks...I guess it shows.

I guess I'm a bit jaded, as well. I'm a big fan of games that have the characters talk to YOU as if you're the actual commander, as they have in the original Command and Conquer and Red Alerts. This is not done for some reason in Tiberian Sun---it's also notable that in the expansion for this game, Firestorm, they return to treating the player as an involved character.

Overall, fair plot, fair game play, average graphics, rotten video.

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream (1995 Video Game)

Good plot, tedious game

[28 March 2005]

I'm not extremely knowledgeable about Harlan Ellison, just about all I've seen or read about him is a scathing TV Guide article he wrote about his ill-fated run in with the Star Trek crew concerning the episode he penned (and was heavily edited) and spotting some editorial feature he did on...Sci Fi channel, I think. While the guy is brilliant (and I think he'd be the first one to tell you that) I'm not sure I'm a big fan.

The world he creates in the game and the short story it's based on are excellent. His characters seem awfully Steven King-ish (or maybe Stephen King's usual characters are awfully Harlan Ellison-ish). That is, they're the protagonists but there's a lot about them that is unsavory or at the very least makes people not want to entirely identify with them. The characters in the game are at least somewhat less...estranging...than they are in the short story.

The game itself has the potential to end much more happily than the short story, though like a lot of quest games, it's so tedious getting through that about 4 hours into it you're probably doing a web search for a walk-through.

As far as the acting goes, Harlan Ellison does a great job reading for the role of AM. When I say reading, I mean just that. He sounds like your favorite librarian reading a story to you and adding life to the characters, only in this case his reading is limited to just the one part. It's not bad, it's just not what you'd call acting. That may be the intent. After all, the guy is a writer, not an actor. Considering the other voice actors do their parts in much the same manner---95% of the speaking is what you'd call "inner monologue"---that may be why they sound more like they're reading than acting.

Anyway, good game for its type. Unfortunately this game, like many others, is an example of why quest games have died: no real re-playability.

Star Trek: The Next Generation - A Final Unity (1995 Video Game)

Good game for the time, but too slow

[28 March 2005]

Although the graphics were good for the time, it was just about impossible to get this game to run correctly on any computer I had access to. Either it froze up constantly, the video was choppy, or the sound and voices were out of sync, or any combination of the three.

I never completed the game that I can recall. I slogged through the damaged space station and wildlife preserve planet chapters (the latter of which is horrendously boring) and by that time I was ready to call it quits.

It was interesting that just about every happenstance was scripted for every character, regardless of who you'd chosen for the away missions. A fine attention to detail on the part of the game's creators.

Any twitch-game or FPS fan wouldn't give this game a second glance, and it's really even too slow and tedious for a quest game pro. Good effort, though.

Star Trek: Borg (1996 Video Game)

Good acting, good writing.

[28 March 2005]

This game comes as close as I've seen to recreating an actual episode. The acting is typical Trek---not stellar, but certainly sufficient and not cheesy.

The game's real winning point, in my opinion, is that you HAVE to lose in certain places to eventually win. Without going into too much detail, Q's ability to pop in and advise/taunt/resurrect you is more than just a game mechanic, it's part of the overall plot. So at certain decision points, the first time around nothing you do will be correct, and then Q will return you to a point where you can then insure the decisions available to you later will include the correct ones. This is not tedious or forced repetition as it might sound! Q even taunts you with this fact, when he says just prior to your character facing an impossible decision, "You'll be back. Maybe more than once."

I've only happened upon it once, but there is a point in the game if you let things go without taking any actions, a plot loop will result(Failure to make a decision results in you being assimilated, which then leads to your death, which leads to Q returning you to the decision point prior to being assimilated). If allowed to loop long enough, the game will seem to 'freeze' suddenly. As soon as you move the mouse or touch a key, however, the game fades to white and Q berates you for "going for sandwiches".

That I know of, there are only two 'decision points' in the game that a wrong decision will result in the "Game Over" screen displaying and the game exiting to your desktop---the very first decision point and the very last.

Limited re-playability (go back and see all the humorous and different ways you can screw up) but definitely worth playing, at least to Trek fans.

Star Trek: Klingon (1996 Video Game)

Not bad.

[28 March 2005]

This game plays out in a very similar fashion to Star Trek: Borg. It's basically a running video and every now and then the action semi-pauses (not like a VCR pause, mind you...basically the characters, action, and environment allow you a few moments) for you make a point-and-click decision at specific times.

Overall, the only role that can be considered well-acted is that of Gowron, a character seen in several television episodes of The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine. The other folks, despite the fact most of them have played at least bit parts in Trek episodes themselves, overact far too much (even for Star Trek fare).

As with most "quest" style games, the re-playability post winning is going back and seeing how many different ways you can die. People who have played Star Trek: Borg will note the quality of the video and interface are decidedly grainier. Though both games were released the same year, Klingon was apparently developed using cheaper or older formats.

Worth a run-through or two, at least for Star Trek fans, pedestrian or otherwise.

You Can't Do That on Television (1979–2004)

Great show, great memories

[24 February 2005]

Today, a show like this would *never* get on the air.

Consider the "Paranoia" episode, the one where a Russian television show called "Don't Do That On Television, Comrade" is threatening to invade. All in all, the link segments were rather spooky (air raid sirens, the broadcast being "hijacked" by the Russian version of Ross). Though not related to the ongoing invasion plot, there's a rather twisted scene where Adam is watching an old gangster flick and gets shot by one of the mobsters from inside the TV (played by cast alumni Kevin Kubecheski, along with fellow alumni Brody Osome). Adam slowly turns toward the camera, a look of shock on his face and a trickle of blood running from his mouth. The show climaxes with the old Soviet national anthem being played and the entire cast getting a cream pie in the face.

Although it was my favorite episode at the time, it pretty much sums up why they'd never do it now. It was the early 1980s, and joking about nuclear war and making fun of Russia was a great tension relief, but that would never fly in today's PC world.