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Reviews
American Sniper (2014)
Meh
The film has pretty good production quality, acting and direction, the biggest problem being it didn't really go anywhere. The film has Chris feel sad for a bit after shooting a kid, but then doesn't expand on it or anything. He just goes back to shooting people like nothing happened. The fact that Chris does things like break into innocent peoples' homes, beats them up, and holds them at gunpoint to grass up Al-Qaeda, only for Al-Qaeda to then kill him for it doesn't make him care at all, he just blames them for it, totally absolving himself for basically leading to an innocent man and child being killed. His kids are introduced, but I never even learnt their names until looking them up here.
Sharknado (2013)
Painful
THIS IS STUPID. There, I think that sums it up. All this film does is introduce characters,then kill them off seconds later. It starts with Fin (Yes, he's called fin)and three other people so incredibly devoid of any character that I can't remember any of them. Then, all it does is slowly introduce redshirts for the sole purpose of killing them off. One of the characters who sadly survived is one who has no problems leaving innocent school kids to die. There's also this teacher, who's death scene is just painful. Parts of the Hollywood sign fly towards him, and he engages in this really pathetic thing were he doges them. Yeah, every single one heads towards this guy. It looks like some crappy quick time event from some bad video game. He gets crushed by some rebar that clearly landed nowhere near him.
We also get some completely pointless scene were they run through a red light for NO reason, and the police chase them. They give up chasing after 5 seconds, and it's not relevant to the plot in anyway, except it shows this nitro-boost feature, which of course comes back at the ending.
The only good thing this movie does is kill off the annoying woman who exists solely for the love plot tumour.
But then, in the finale, the protagonist is eaten by a shark, but chainsaws his way out. Oh, and the annoying woman who was eaten well over ten minutes ago? He pulls her out, and she survives.
And that is why the director of this film must be sent to hell for his crimes against the human race.
Whiteout (2009)
Nothing stands out.
The film starts with some Russians shooting each other. Not entirely sure why they didn't just hide the passengers guns, or make sure they could all be easily seen from the shooter perspective. We cut to the main character, who works at US outpost 31- sorry, Amundsen-Scott base in the antarctic. Then we get a shower scene, and it basically says "Oh crap! The movie was crap! Quick, put some boobs in it!". Not that I'm complaining. She, the doc and A pilot go to see this body found by another pilot in the air.They arrive, and take the body back. They wheel it straight through a room full of people, instead of just taking the long way round. Then the perform an autopsy on it. It's essentially exactly the same as the thing, So from now on she's getting called macready, The doc Copper and the pilot Childs. It turns out that the body belongs to someone from another camp, so the main character talks to the radio operator, Fuchs. He is never seen again in the movie, for some reason. Mac and Childs go to the other base, and find one of the men from the base dead. Then an evil killer strikes, and he's fully dressed up so you can't tell who he is. Mac escapes easily. Childs and Mac see this random guy at the base, Who I'm calling Bennings. He works for the FBI, but it's never explained how he got there, or why he was sent on his own.
They find a map marking something from the ice, and they travel there. Yeah, now they're finding something buried beneath the ice that crashed there... Yeah,this film isn't exactly subtle. Then mac fall through the ice, and finds the plane. Yeah, now it's buried,even though it wasn't when it crashed. Then Bennings and Childs follow, and Mac apparently has psychic powers, and She can tell exactly what happened to the crew.
Then they get caved in, and they escape. Back at the base, they're looking for the other guy on the abandoned camp, and everyone else is evacing for winter, including the base leader, Garry. They find the guy they're looking for, when the killer turns up an murders him. They lock him up, and everyone except Mac, Bennings, Childs and Copper evacs. The killer escapes, but Bennings and mac easily kick his arse. then it turns out that he was carrying some jellybeans, and he must be a dud. It turns out it was copper, and he kills himself by walking out into the snow, which is kind of a cool scene. Then Bennings, Childs and Mac are stuck in the base for the next 6 months. Sounds like fun, you essentially get a 6 month holiday.
If you want to watch a good film involving the antarctic, a murder investigation and autopsies, watch the thing.
Prometheus (2012)
disappointing
this film could of been great, but there's no real tension. no-one has there own individual death scene, except vickers and Halloway, and both of them make no sense. vickers could of just ran side ways, and davids motives are random as hell. weyland secretly going along while lying to everyone was pointless,he could of just told them. most of the crew aren't even named and are killed of by zombie fifeld. how he even got lost is stupid, the cave/ship was being mapped.
the sacrifice at the end could of easily done by one person. also, Shaw, the person who told janek and the co-pilots to blow them selves up, doesn't even bother mentioning them in the warning message.I mean, all they did was sacrifice there lives to save every person ever.