Change Your Image
chrisstone4
Reviews
Road House (2024)
Just about watchable i suppose
Gyllenhall is a decent actor but this slightly wokified remake is...so so. If you have nothing to do for 2 hours, sure its just about watchable. But the style, storyline, music and general coolness of the original is unrivalled. His 'girlfriend' was opaque, there wasn't any chemistry with Dalton, the owner of the bar lacked charisma and the bar staff were instantly forgettable actors. There were a couple of decent guitar driven songs but otherwise a lot of wimpy wet bands that looked totally out of place in a rough tough bar. Connor McGregor was ridiculously and bombastically over the top and not really grounded in any kind of reality. Some of the fights were cool, but not many.
Sadly this is yet another example of Hollywood running out of story ideas and regurgitating remake after sequel after remake (and this was happening well before the writers strike).
Do yourself a favour, skip this and watch the original, miles better. You'll never get those 2 hours back!
Shantaram: All the Way from There Just to Get to Here (2022)
Solid ending and Season 2 setup
I've never read the book but its supposed to be a modern literary classic. I must admit i was hooked on this show from episode 1, so unique and unlike anything else on TV today. Some of the actors are surely new to wider audiences whereas a few others are well known and yet all of them bring gravitas and class and charisma to each scene. Whoever converted and doctored the script from the book to the screen did a good job too. It feels like this is a project of some love and admiration by the cast and crew, at least that's how it comes across.
Slightly shocking ending and here's hoping that there will be a 2nd season where we find out what's happening to Lin!
The English (2022)
V Good Unusual & Original Western
I'd seen Emily Blunt in a few things before, competent but hadn't blow me away. After seeing this i have new found respect for her. The emotional connection between her and Chaske Spencer seemed genuine and well delivered. I will now see her in a new light and am fascinated by what else she can do. As for Spencer i'd never heard of him, but I feel this is a career defining role for him - I shall be following his next few films/shows with interest. The directing and script were good, original ideas and at times quite thought provoking. But amongst that was a smattering of good action and tense moments with almost a shimmer of Tarantino in there and a smidgeon of early 70s westerns.
If you like Westerns or revenge stories with a human twist to it, and you crave for something a little bit different to the norm, then this will be right up your street.
Andor (2022)
Drab, slow, grey, sleep inducing
Firstly this doesn't feel at all like Star Wars. Definitely written and produced by people who think Star Wars should be a bunch of people living off the land, with dreary slow dialogue and singing kumbaya by the campfire. What a bunch of wimpy nonsense. The set design looks cheap, the script is vanilla and boring, nothing about this show feels special.
To those who say dialogue can be good rather than straight action all the time...I agree. IF, the script is good and flows well, and IF the storyline develops tension. There's as much tension in this show as there is in an overcooked asparagus spear.
As for the supposed 'actor' who 'leads' this show. Don't make me laugh! He couldn't act his way out of a paperbag. He was rubbish in Rogue One and continues his form here.
It's difficult to pick which show is worse, this or Obi-Wan. Probably Obi-Wan, although if this show introduces a child as a major character i'm happy to adjust that.
Uninspiring, sleep inducing, drab nonsense. Avoid at all costs unless you have insomnia.
The Walking Dead: Lockdown (2022)
Meh, pretty average
Like most fans i was hoping we'd see a return to form like the early seasons, but there's very little sense of drama or fear or tension. Each scene just seems to slope along one after another without anything to really grab you. Whatever magic this show had in the first 5-6 seasons went byebye some time ago. We can only hope that the directors/producers rediscover some form before the end and wow us with a decent ending, but i'm not that hopeful on current form. It will be a strange feeling when this show ends. On the one hand it'll be a shrug of the shoulders, on the other hand it'll leave a big void (the show that it WAS back in the early days). I wonder what the TV gods have in store for us.
Andor: That Would Be Me (2022)
Its like watching paint dry
Script: Woeful (unless they intended to cure
insomnia, in which case: great job guys).
Acting talent: bunch of nobodies and so far the director hasn't done a good job of letting characters shine.
Pacing: similar to that of a pregnant snail
Feel: B grade movie/TV with a small budget. Doesn't resemble or feel like Star Wars in the slightest (for a great Star Wars product I present to you: The Mandalorian).
What's happened so far: amusingly there are no spoilers because nothing has actually happened of any note.
I'll try to stomach episode 3 and see if it improves. I'm not a Disney 'hater' by trade, but after seeing Obi-trash and this, it does become quite challenging to support them.
Andor: Kassa (2022)
Slow, Boring, Cheap sets, nothing happens!
I feel like i'm watching a really turgid, sleep-inducing episode of a British sitcom (and i'm British incidentally). Almost nothing indicates this is sci-fi, barely anything happens, so far they have provided no indication as to his character or motivation (hence as a viewer i'm not invested in him or care about him). The support cast so far are 3rd rate nobodies, the script is as beige and vanilla as you can get and we just plod from one boring scene to another. The pacing is slow. This doesn't feel like Star Wars in the slightest! I thought nothing could he worse than Obi-Wan, but Andor has surpassed itself as one of the worst shows ever. I will crack into episodes 2-3 and see if it improves (i'm halfway through #2 and this still feels like a bad episode of Eastenders), maybe this is the slowest starting show in history and it all gets better? Soon? Very very soon?
Samaritan (2022)
Terrible
I'm a child of the 70s who grew up in the 80s so you can imagine Stallone was an iconic actor alongside Arnie and several others - i've always liked his classic 80s and 90s films. His story of rags to riches is great and frankly he doesn't need to prove anything to anybody anymore. In fact i'll go further and say he has enough respect 'banked' that he can afford to make any piece of trash he wants.
But boy oh boy is this terrible. Whether this was a quick cash grab, or he owed a producer a favour, or he just wanted to do a 'Sly' version of the MCU. Whatever the reason, the result is achingly terrible. Acting, script (is there one?), storyline, total lack of characterisation or background/motivation for the key characters. I've seen commercials with more energy and drive than this film, perhaps the director should contemplate alternative employment, dire ting movies isnt for him. The CGI particularly at the end is real Z grade level, cringeworthy stuff.
Unless you're a Stalloneaholic, avoid this one like the plague.
Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022)
Sublime
I shouldn't like Downton really, my normal fare is a mixture of revenge flicks, spy dramas, organised crime and occasional superhero affairs. But this cast, the directorial and editing staff, Fellowes script and THAT magical theme tune just transports you into a beautiful world you simply never want to leave. Its difficult to pinpoint acting talent and almost seems unfair to select an actor but Michelle Dockery with those eyes, wonderful voice and wit (thankyou Julian) floors me everytime. But she makes this role her own, it was the role she was born to play. So much talent in the cast, each and everyone of them, and you can tell this was a labour of love for all the unsung heroes behind the camera. Thank you all for such a wonderful time capsule that I hope to enjoy time and time again.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part V (2022)
Director can't direct, but 1 decent moment
People here seem to have a low bar if they think this episode is 9/10 or 10/10.
The saber fight between certain fighters (no spoilers) is boring and really poorly choreographed. Elsewhere a certain character doesnt make it and the terrible slow mo direction and complete lack of tension is laughable. Its at this moment the audience is supposed to gasp and feel the emotion of the moment, but its done so amateurishly that it all falls flat.
Stormtroopers look (and move) in a rather ridiculous way and look like caricatures. Vader has 1 pretty good moment for 5 seconds. Apart from that this episode is a wet squib and the show is still woeful. Obiwan STILL looks scared as if this is all a bit too much for him.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Terrible script, weak Obi, B grade production
To explain how hyped i was for this: i watched over 100 youtube reactions of the trailer: loved it. And yes i know that a well cut trailer wont be quite the same as the episodes. Nevertheless...
Ahhh, but then the show arrived. Dear god no. When a director and the editorial team cant create pace or tension, when the scriptwriters have zero prior experience on major productions (check their bios on imdb), when producers dont care about Star Wars canon, and when certain agendas pervade the production: you know it'll be a turkey. Think its impossible to be worse than Fett 1-4? Think again, as this achieves it comfortably. There are a couple of little moments that were decent hence i give this a 3/10 rating instead of 1.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part IV (2022)
A slight improvement, but
Probably the best episode of the 4, but thats not saying much. Obi still looks weak and unsure of himself but finally getting into the fight a bit more. Set design is ok, but again Reva disappoints, as does the ridiculous skin paintwork on the 5th Brother and his OTT lines and facial expressions. Little Leia and her whining voice are still front and centre, urgh. There is a bit more action this time, but none of it feels natural, all feels a bit contrived and forced. Some of Reva's script (not her fault) are woeful and sound like its been ripped right out of an LA cop procedural show ie the sort of script thats lazy and has no imagination and feels out of place in SW. My previous episode ratings were 3, i give this 5 as it is a slight improvement, but i'm afraid this director, the editorial team, and the casting director (who thought it would be great to cast Flea and Ice Cube's son in key supporting roles would be a good idea lolllll) have already ruined this show.
The show average rating on IMDB has fallen under 8, with episodes at 7.6 and i estimate they will drop to low 7s in the next few weeks. Frankly thats a terrible score for a show that was supposed to be Disney's flagship Star Wars show.
And for those people saying we're all just haters, I invite you to actually READ some of the comments which very well explain why this show is a letdown.
Bosch: Legacy (2022)
Higher grade PI/Cop show
Good script, the right pacing and editing, very good actors all in tune with each other, and good characters. I love how they intertwine (and resolve) 3-4 storylines by the end of the show. And a cliffhanger at the end! What's not to like?
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part III (2022)
Lame lightsaber fight
I wanted to love this show but the director clearly doesn't 'get' Star Wars. The interaction between the 2 protagonists is weak. The trailer for this show looked cinematic and promised so much. Sadly it feels like watching an episode of Deep Space 9 or Doctor Who. The inquisitors are poor examples of the animated version, Obi looks pathetically unsure of himself all the time, as if everything frightens him. And whilst the big man himself is menacing and shot reasonably well, the interaction that follows is paper thin and quite a weak battle. If you recollect the battle in Revenge of the Sith, well sadly this one is levels below it. Vader's force powers are shot badly, it feels like i'm watching Dynamo or David Blaine, not the insidious Sith we've come to love. The pacing is ponderous, borderline boring. The music is anonymous. There is 1 small action set piece in this that is decent, but otherwise the episode is yet again sub par.
Supergirl (2015)
Woketastic!
If you're under the age of 12 you might get some modicum of enjoyment from this. Or if you love being preached at (in a not so subtle way) regarding how you should feel about the political issues of the day, then welcome! This show is for you!
For everyone else you might wish to spend your time on alternative activities, such as washing the dishes, feeding the dog etc. Surely a more worthy use of your time.
Moon Knight: Asylum (2022)
Woeful psycho babble, no suit no action
Not interested in endless civilian origin, psycho babble nonsense. Give us Moon Knight, give us the suit, give us kick arse action, not this pathetic endless script about how his mother didn't love him, boring!
Reacher (2022)
Meh, its ok, average and predictable
First few episodes start off ok. Lead actor looks the part and is an ok actor, but lets be honest Cruise is a couple of levels above this guy. Sadly Cruise is too short for the role but he's a far classier actor. Nevertheless this guy does an ok job. The script descends a bit into average hokey stuff in the last few episodes, and the fight/combat scenes feel a bit 'low budget' which is surprising for an Amazon production. Particularly the final scene with weak CGI explosions that look fake.
All in all, if you go in with low expectations, its...ok.
If there's a season 2 for this then they need to bring in a new creative team and really up their game a bit.
Copshop (2021)
Pointless action film
Good acting cast and the female lead is actually pretty good, but the film is ridiculous nonsense. No imagination, average script, average directing, a plot that could be written on a cigarette packet. If your intellectual level calls for a zillion bullets and blood everywhere with an almost non-existent storyline then its for you, but if you like smart action films this is a waste of your time.
The Book of Boba Fett: Chapter 5: Return of the Mandalorian (2022)
Good...because stupid Boba Fett actor isnt in it!
The highest episode score by a mile. Why? Because the stupid actor playing Fett and the low grade actress Ming Na Wen are nowhere to be seen, this is all Mandalorian! And the highest average IMDB episode score (by far) tells you exactly what Star Wars fans think about it.
The Book of Boba Fett: Chapter 4: The Gathering Storm (2022)
Hopeless, doesn't feel like Star Wars
I'm not sure if Favreau has lost his mojo or what the heck is going on but Fett has been a monumental let down. Mandalorian felt special. Cinematic. Dramatic. Each episode flew by. But these are turgid garbage that drag. Casting, script, pacing, energy are all poor or missing in this show, its so ordinary. Very disappointing. Here's waiting for Mando s3!
The Book of Boba Fett: Chapter 3: The Streets of Mos Espa (2022)
Mandalorian is way better
Lead actor is too short, looks like an oompa loompa with the Fett uniform on. But he's a half decent actor and does his best I suppose. I don't dislike him but he looks a bit short and dumpy for the character.
But the criticism is mainly focussed around how average this show feels. With the Mandalorian almost every episode had you gripped, almost everything felt cinematic. But this feels like the producers of Doctor Who sank their claws into it (and thats not a compliment). And now we get teenagers on Vespas?! God no.
Yellowstone: Grass on the Streets and Weeds on the Rooftops (2022)
Disappointing finale & season
Love this show, the first 3 seadons were incredible but other than the 1st episode the rest of this season has been really disappointing. Very little actually happens. I suppose it was inevitable that a show would struggle to sustain a high level as per the previous 3 seasons. This season Kacey does next nothing; the script pretty much neuters Rip's character and puts him on the periphery; Jimmy's story ends up being totally pointless it seems; and the script and pacing seems laboured in this season.
Let's hope season 5 is a damn sight more lively and dramatic than this, get us back to the feel of the first 3 seasons!
The Book of Boba Fett: Chapter 1: Stranger in a Strange Land (2021)
So so but not great
I had medium expectations going into this. Although i like the actor for the main role i felt he's an inch or two short for Fett, but hey ho never mind. Onto the episode, its decent enough i suppose but just doesn't me wow like the Mandalorian does. I can't put my finger on it but some of the best TV shows now look and feel cinematic (as the Mandalorian does for example) but this just feels a bit...small. The set pieces were ok but there wasn't any 'cool' scenes or moments. Some people might say this is just a set up episode to place context as to how Boba survived the pit etc but i feel with a big show like this you have to do much better with the first impression. Hasn't put me off watching it but i just hope it improves a bit.
Invasion (2021)
Terrible
Painfully slow, painfully woke, painfully boring.
If you want to watch a show where: nothing much happens, is obsessed ticking various woke boxes, where the directors have no clue how to build tension or a cohesive plot, and operates at the pace of a pregnant snail...then this show is perfect for you! I partly feel sorry for the acting talent, but even they can't create miracles out of this turkey of a script.
Dune (2021)
Disappointing, no ending
So, there's clearly a hope that this is the first of a few films. But its very risky (no sequel guarantee), not to mention unfulfilling for the audience, to not provide a proper ending. Risky because frankly its not a great film so it remains to be seen if the box office numbers are big enough to greenlight a 2nd film. It was all building up (you could tell early on) that he was going to eventually join the rebels (Fremen) and after that fight the good fight against the evil spice traders. But the moment he meets the Fremen, 5 minutes later the film's ended, oh dear. The middle act of this film isnt completed, and certainly there's no final act. And has this film wowed me sufficiently to leave me hanging on the edge of my seat for a sequel? Er no.
Its all very well made and some of the visuals are nice but at no point does this film grab you, it just never springs into life. The hero is likeable, but not dynamic. Pleasant but a bit wet and lacks charisma. Jason Momoa is just the same typecast character doing what he does in every production he's in (ie warrior character, same script lines as he usually gets, and stabs a bunch of people). He's fine, but if you've seen Momoa in anything else its just standard sword play for him, you've seen it all before.
A remarkably bland film, with some nice visuals, but a lack of pacing, charisma and zero ending means a low mark.