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TheRavenOfAll
Reviews
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)
You can't fix
There is no way you can fix the industry and begin producing good movies again if you can still make tens of millions of profit with this bad casting, this bad script, this bad editing and this bad production.
I've always thought that nobody worse than Shia LeBeouf could be cast in this franchise but Phoebe Waller Bridge... Wow!
Sometimes, as a producer, you should finish the product, then watch it and decide not to release it out of self respect.
Even The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull couldn't ruin the legacy for me but Phoebe Waller Bridge managed to do it in 5 minutes.
A young Harrison Ford CGI dubbed by the actual one was just tragic.
Silo (2023)
Ferguson
Very slow, boring and there are lots of simple enough clues everywhere to make it easy to predict... Until very recently I didn't know that this was from a series of books which makes the decision to turn such weak writing into TV series more understandable as it guarantees an already established minimum audience... BUT, it is a huge delight to watch Rebecca Ferguson and her act in a one-woman show. As we almost never come by proper scripts and acting these days it's nice to see at least the acting is covered once in a while.
That said, I hope this fashion of turning these maximum 60-minutes-worth stories without substance into 8 or 10 hours of dragging, very thinly stretched, ultimate time-wasting 'things' in order to keep streamers in front of a screen would end or soon it would be the end of the streamers as there will be no subscribers left except a very specific and limited demographic.
Red Notice (2021)
For kids only?
If you are over 18 and enjoyed this movie your life should be and will go on being very hard. Even if it qualifies as having a plot, it has at least 25 holes. They didn't even bother to normalize the after-shot dubbing. Ridiculously third-rate.
Mare of Easttown (2021)
Decent Acting Among Eating, Drinking and Vaping
Well, another example of a wasted good story and decent acting by American consumerism and shameless marketing. As usual (and as Americans do not even notice or care anymore), there is almost more eating and drinking than talking. Especially irrelevant vaping is vile. Not for teenagers or educated non-American audiences who care about the whole experience of a good TV series.
Army of the Dead (2021)
33:25
That's the time I have withstood watching up to. Anything shot with a camera shouldn't qualify as a movie nor reach into our living rooms. But it's the age of streaming, isn't it?
Jupiter's Legacy (2021)
What another joke!
I don't want to believe that there is a demand for this thing. The worse acting, no screenplay, ridiculous make-up, despicable CGI . A thing shouldn't qualify as series just because you shoot it with a camera. If you read any positive thing about this abomination it's either from a child or it's paid-for.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
What a joke!
This is really bad, even worse than Netflix bad. Too much for a kid and too little for an adult. I guess it's best for 6-10 years old. The script is ridiculous. The green screen scenes are the most primitive I've seen in a long time. The directing and editing should be done by a student. CGIs are simply absurd. Even the stunt scenes are so amateurish that I had to laugh in almost all swinging scenes. That's a wasted 150 minutes of my life.
Dead to Me (2019)
Another Culinary Show
Once again, the US production gives itself away to consumerism. There is almost no scene in which someone is not eating, snacking or drinking something. If using mouths for chewing than talking in a TV series is not enough for you they stop and pose with snack packages, too. Product placement is one thing, paying less to substance but more to consumerism is another. You can fill half of an episode displaying people sleeping and the other half peeing if it helps relatibility or bed covers and TP's are profitable, can't you?
Bad Education (2019)
Another Movie About Obesity
One of the movies for a nation who is obsessed with food, snacks and consumerism. There are more eating, crunching, sipping and drinking than talking. Every few scenes you can see someone using their mouth for chewing instead of talking. You can easily observe the fuel for obesity contagion in the US if you take a look at the last a decade or two's Hollywood movies. Take the Aussie Russell Crowe example, watch his movies by concentrating how much he is made eating or snacking and understand why he is over-weight most of the time. Somebody should put a stop to this food and beverage industry funding to stop the dramatic decrease in health...
Midway (2019)
For the 5th graders
My guess is the script was written by a high-school student for a play for 5th graders. The acting is exactly level with a high-school play. I've never watched this cheesy movie with this big a budget. They might have forgot editing it after the shoot, too. I don't think I'm patient enough to watch the second half of it.
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
In Spanish and Spanish accent
Movies with this much spanish or with accents should have warnings in advance. This trendy fashion of "diversity" has already ruined Hollywood and gonna cause its demise. This movie has action for no reason with no acting, is in different languages and accents...but called "Terminator".
The Irishman (2019)
Waste of 209 minutes of your life
It should be categorized as a shot at live action or a laughably photo-unrealistic computer-generated animation. Editing is not Scorsese quality, there are lots of continuity errors even in the simplest scenes.
It was expected of the quality of the movie sector to dive head-bottom since these streaming platforms had to supply infinite amount of moving photos on the screens. But the indecency is the pay-for-good-reviews "marketing.
Oh, and I share his pain with Scorsese...in this day and age of nonsensical diversity in casting, there are no good-enough actors left at all in Hollywood so that he had to computer-generate real actors. Well played.
Shazam! (2019)
Razzies
By far the best candidate only if there was a Kids' Movies Razzies. Script is either for 8 year olds or is written by one. Bad casting, bad acting, worst flying green screens. The colors and lights might attract children and that's it
Killing Eve: Desperate Times (2019)
A snack of a show
A well-written and well-acted TV series suddenly turned into a disgusting act of eating and drinking. These last episodes might be the television's first episodes with more chewing, crunching, slurping, sipping noise than actual dialogue. I don't remember a single scene with someone not eating or drinking. I have no idea what the purpose of recent increase in eating and drinking in movies and TV series but it borderlines disgusting. Maybe this is some twisted version of "relating with the audience" in order to increase rating but remember "Jennifer Lawrence"
A Ghost Story (2017)
Oh my god!!!
I don't write reviews for movies...well, this thing shouldn't pass as a movie, so...
If you discount the time for credits, 6 minutes of Rooney alone and tediously eating a pie should comprise 8% of this thing, which should give you an idea what you are up for. Worst thing I have watched in a very very long time, and I don't mean only movies.
If someone you know even implied something positive about this thing, stay away from them forever.
This was not a movie or art or pleasant or normal or anything but a waste of time and source for disrespect for producers who produced, actors who acted, distributors who distributed, organizers who included this thing in their festivals....actually it is not abnormal to see that there were outlets which rewarded this thing...we have wars, diseases, lies, etc., too.
Stay away at all costs. Worst of the worst.