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chris_green1981
Reviews
Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver (2024)
Slow Motion the Movie
If you like slow motion shots, this film has you covered and then some. Speed it up to normal and you probably condense it into 2 thirds the run time if not more! Seriously though, I feel the point of slow mo is to emphasis a point, create an emotion... if you do them every freaking time My Synder they loose any meaning and are just annoying!
The good stuff. I like the world. The design is cool, if very video gamey (40k, Star Craft, Ridick, Halo you name it!) But it works. I love the premise, the mercenaries vs ridiculous odds never tires with me. I like some of the actors. The effects are decent enough.
The rest... the dialogue makes George Lucas look like Shakespeare! The 'acting' is poor as there is little to work with. The script is all over the place. The beauty of 7 Samurai and Magnificent 7 is that the characters did not need the whole backstop thing. James Colburn, he was the hardened merc, cold blooded and good with knives. You got that the scene you met him. DONE! Steve McQueen, quick, cool, ladies man kind off. Again, established in the first scene. 2 movies in and I barely see these guys as characters, just bland with back stories which do NOTHING! The action is all slowed down to mostly a bore. The story makes no sense (please tell me how a ship can survive in deep space for so long, but a 100 bags full of grain cannot under and circumstances be blown up?) I wanted this to be good, a fresh franchise which could enjoy. Even some dumb fun. This is not fun, and times where you think it might redeem itself, it throws it away again in the next scene. Give me Roger Corman's 'Battle Beyond the Stars' any day over this, it may be cheese-tastic crap, but it knows how to have some fun!
Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix (2023)
Awesome... and not what I was expecting!
So I saw the trailer via Netflux and though... "this will be dumb fun I guess". First episode and it started that way... then bloody hell it went somewhere. So it is still a fair bit of dumb, self referential, acton packed fun. But in-between are some great characters, heart felt moments, and very social political undertones found in all good Cyberpunk stories.
I loved this. Binged in a day and I want more!!! It trod the line between silly and fun, action and good sci-fi so well. Great use of Ubisoft characters, though that is the only downer for me... that that company benefits with all that surrounds them. Still if you can separate art from... well onwer not artist (the animation company made it afterall), or just don't care, then I so highly recommend. FUN and some sad times.
He Never Died (2015)
A gem of a find.
I think I heard about this on YouTube (What Culture I think). One of those top 10 lists. I made a note and found it one day trawling through Netflix. I love Highlander... and saw the words Immortal. Give that a go.
What a great find. I knew very little, and that's the best way I think. I was constantly guessing as to 'what' the protagonist is? Is he good or bad? Henry Rollins is great... weird, blunt, out of touch, prefect for an imortal who has seen centuries pass. The comedy is straight, black and hits the right notes for the film's tone. Jack (the main character) is a far weirder and a proper fish out of water compared to Connor MacLeod and the such like.
The film nothing new in terms of plot... for me I found myself being reminded of Leon, The Equaliser, and Nobody. Now this is far lightly on the action, and more on gore, but the idea of someone with a 'special set of skills' living a reclusive hidden life defending a people is not much new. What held me was that he is what he is, and not some government assassin/ soec opps. And at the same time, it was grounded unlike a Marvel movie where the fate of the world is at stake. A superhero, if you can call Jake that, fighting a personal battle.
Is it ground breaking? NO. I found it fun yet thrilling. Silly yet grounded. Not scary, but tense at times. I can understand people not connecting to the characters, but there was enough development to keep me caring and hooked. Please check it out. Also it was one of those few movies that when it finished I was... "I'd love a sequel, give me more."
Vampyres (2015)
Dull as dishwater!
This film had neither the so bad it's good cheese of say John Carpenter's Vampires or the intrigue of a film like Chronos or Byzantine. Instead we have very bad acting, massively unlikeable protagonists, but worst a flat storyline, little tension and just sleezy pornographic scenes that are more uncomfortable than sexy or even shocking. I was bored. I hated the main characters, who were on one hand arty working on a movie or something, one of them suffering a break up. Yet on the other they seemed only interested in sex. If that's your cheesey hook, don't try and make me take them seriously! RUBBISH! The editing was clunky to say the least, and some shots were good the whole film was just boring and confused. The arty movie with no brains, good plot or acting, but not a fun cheese fest either. Avoid.
Day Shift (2022)
Good but not fang-tastic!!!
An enjoyable, action/ comedy romp that kept me entertained. I love a good vampire movie... however Lost Boys, Blade, Chronos, Salem's Lot or Let Right One In this is not. Its Blade without the slickness, a little in keeping in my opinion with JC's Vampires or the Underworld sequels. Acting is OK if a little cheese-tastic, Jamie Fox is always watchable. The humor got a few laughs. The action good. The plot is a bit pants, some very poor character development, especially a female vampire. Bad guys are oh so very generic, however I enjoyed it, but probably would not watch it again.
I'd recommend if you like cheesy action comedies and vampires. One of the better recent Netflix films.
Svart krabba (2022)
Ambitious and ambiguous
This is a war film, not an action movie. Fire fights are mostly realistically portrayed and short, andvyet does not show the sort of realistic war in the spectacular way a movie like Saving Pirvate Ryan does (far smaller budget). The war is left very ambiguous, and not fleshed out at all... I loved this. It stayed away from the politics of 'sides' and stereotypes of good and evil. Focusing more on the horrors of war and what lengths people go to, and the boots on the ground. The acting is top notch in my opinion, though I think Naomi Rapace can do no wrong! Is it outstanding..? No, it tries to tackle some tough ideas and falls short at times. But I applaud it for trying, and with some of the tosh on Netflix and Holywood of late... I give it a proper thumbs up for achieving all that it did.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)
Technically impressive but not for me
Firstly I liked Yorgos Lanthimos' The Lobster alot, the disection of rationships and black comedy was great. My main issue here is the monotonous, robotical, emotionless way in which the characters talk and express themselves. In the Lobster it worked for me due the weird nature of the story and themes. Here I found it had to connect to the characters, yet I feel I needed to in order for the narrative to work. I was left cold, uncaring, when my dad brain wanted me to!
Now technically it's great, the cinematography is fantastic, score makes you constantly on edge as it should, the acting is good. It's not the script, just the dialogue. Now this is, I accept a personal issue, and I am sure others may love this or find it works. To me it was a wall that stopped me connecting.
Would I recommend it... yes and no. If you liked Yorgos Lanthimos other work, yes give it a try it is a good story and leaves alot to the viewer's own discretion. However there are that made me feel far too uncomfortable and I just could not connect or really care.
Hell on the Border (2019)
What a shame
I totally love that movie directors and producers are exploring this sadly glossed over (well white-washed part of American Western history) more lately, though hello Blazing Sadles! For example I really enjoyed Netflix's The Harder They Fall with Idris Elba. Sadly this film does do this story of Bass Reeves justice. The script is choppy, the edits poor, and though the acting is not bad... its not great either. Its a shame as I have seen the majority of actors do good stuff, it's mostly dialogue and direction I feel. Ron Pearlman is always fun, but he doesn't have a lot to do. I can't say this is a guilty pleasure, or so bad it's good... as its not that awful and played dramatically very straight. It's just characters are not fleshed out, the tension and stackes are poorly developed; and it all feels a bit dull as a result. I would skip this to be honest and watch Django Unchained, The Harder They Fall, Young Guns 2, or Power of the Dog if you want a Western on Netflix.
Archive 81 (2022)
It stayed with me... for ages. Excellent
It has been over a month since I binged this series. And it still plays on my mind... I will be re-watching.
Is it a gore-tastic, jump-scare-athon... no! It's slow and eerie. It plays on you, and can get a bit 'out there' at times. Personally I found there to be touches of Lovecraft and despite the modern setting, almost gothic horror with the story and tropes it uses. I've read criticism on the acting, I think they all did superb. I LOVE this show. And hope they add another season. Its my kind of horror, The Conjuring it is not, but then that left me very underwhelmed. I can see that's it is not very everyone, but if you like your horrors slow, mysterious and full of a impending, overwhelming dred I'd give it a go. Also I love the scenes of threading the videotape and the use of VHS etc. Ringu vibes.
Werewolves of the Third Reich (2017)
No schlocky horror... just boredom!
I feel like the 'creative' team behind this film watched Tarantino's Inglorious Bastards and went "Let's do that with werewolves!" However though Tarantino can be accused of cut and pasting from genres and films, I feel he does so with creativity, flare and a unique voice. The same cannot be said of this film. It neither has the great dialogue of Taratino or the humour. Nor does it have the action, suspense, horror or atmosphere of a good B Movie. It's poorly acted (probably directional tbh), bad effects, silly, badly edited, awful plot lines and narrative... all of which could be forgiven if it was just FUN! Hated this film, put done the Tarantino movies guys and think more creatively. Find your own voice!
Prisoners of the Lost Universe (1983)
So silly it's just a bit of fun
Very poor effects, clunky, ott acting, plot goes everywhere. I'd be lying though if I pretended it wasn't a bit of light hearted fun. If your after some 80s cheese... give it a go. However some of the gender politics are very much of the era and a little problematic in my opinion.