Change Your Image
erzuliedantor
Reviews
Flesh+Blood (1985)
Shockingly Poor
The only reason I gave this film two stars is because you see Rutger Hauer being punched over a chair after his group turn on him.
Terrible acting from everyone in the cast doesn't help one of the thinnest plots ever to grace the screen. But the worst part is film's portrayal of gang rape, the overall tone being that all women are 'gagging for it', and whereby the female actual gains some 'romantic' feelings for one of the perpetrators. Yep, tasteful.
This is one of those films that tried to be a historical tale when the writer only has an elementary grasp of European history. For example, castles weren't overrun by bandits because they had *many* guards, which this film ignored. Also, a person didn't catch plague straight after drinking infected water (which didn't spread it in the first place), and if soldiers had harnessed gunpowder powered projectiles (i.e. rockets), then the several wars after this grotty flick was set would have been over a damned sight quicker than they were. And as a final point, Mandrake is poisonous and was never recommended in black magic books to be eaten, nor would the heroine admit to reading it because she would have been hung as a witch.
I agree with the prior reviewer who said that none of the characters were likable. The hero was weak, the baddies had a lot more vivacity than the other characters, and the heroine was unpleasant and spent most of her time degrading her sex.
Mystery Science Theatre wouldn't touch this turkey with a bargepole unless it was to push it into the canal.
Dogboys (1998)
Terrible
Quick summary: it's about inmates who are responsible for training the dogs that hunt escaped convicts. I can't blame either Brian Brown or Dean Cain for being in this film, but I can blame Ken Russell for not making it well. Usual prison stuff but on a restricted budget and modest acting from the two above actors.
One scene contained standard prison bullies picking on a bloke double their size and with a bad temper. It just didn't work. You also have an 'older and wiser' inmate which seems to be standard stock for films such as these. Worst character must be the 'Jamaican' - one of the worst accents I've heard.
I suppose this is one for either Brian Brown or Dean Cain fans. You may wince through it, though. I found it agonising and I couldn't make it to the end.