Change Your Image
JenniferClapton
Reviews
Jack and Jill (2011)
Love this movie.
It's a tragedy this movie got such bad reviews. I love this movie and watch it every so often. The character Jill is hilarious. Al Pacino's character was ridiculous and made the movie extra cheesy but what are you going to do.
Armored (2009)
Never should have watched this
Such a dumb movie where I was hoping the lead would die. He betrays all his friends and his godfather and you just keep hoping for his downfall. The ending of this movie will piss you off. The lead has absolutely no loyalty to his friends and is a snitch. He went along with the heist with both feet in and turned on them the second something went wrong. He isn't a likable guy. The people you feel sorry for in this movie are the guy in Scream (Skeech something) and the Hispanic one. Unsatisfying movie seriously don't watch it.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Not good but Keanu is stunning
Who rated this so high? How did it get above 7 stars on IMBD? This movie is dull and dumb. Who directed this? Can't be the same director from Matrix.
The tribal dirty dancing and Neo/Trinity sex scene was out of place and so unnecessary, talk about gratuitous. There was no sex in the Matrix and that was a great movie.
In the first Matrix they said anybody who has ever stood up to an agent dies but Morpheus sure does a good job in Reloaded, he's an even match for them. Oh, and Neo flies. He's such a specimen though I can't hate on him, Keanu at his best. Trinity is bad ass as usual.
Keanu is magnificent to look at with his shades and long black robe. Agent smith is ridiculous and multiples, it's pure comedy. As if just one of him wasn't annoying enough. The Keymaker runs around very frightened with hundreds of keys strapped to his belt, it's straight out of a goofy cartoon. And the architect turns out to be Colonel Sanders.
If you're single the love between Neo and Trinity will fill you with envy. If you're not single the love between Neo and Trinity will fill you with envy.
Good Girls (2018)
Love it
Beth and Rio are the hottest couple in TV and If they don't end up together in season 3 I'm out. It's an opposites attract danger aspect to it, it is HOT!
With that said Beth is actually annoying, Ruby is bland and Annie is the most entertaining. Beth's husband Dean is funny and I enjoy him on the show.
Santa Clarita Diet (2017)
More seasons please
Timothy olyphant is sooooo funny. He is a comic genius who should only do comedy from now on because he's just that good. Honestly he makes the show. Why didn't I notice before? Drew Barrymore is adorable as always. The kid who plays Eric is great as well as neighbor Dan. Hilarious characters the director is obviously a genius. Both seasons were great. It's a bit campy. I want 10 more seasons.
Bates Motel (2013)
Freddie Highmore is weak, the rest are great
My favorite series. Bates Motel is chilling and disturbing with a good storyline. It isn't horror like some people would think. As the seasons go on Freddie Highmore as Norman Bates really bugs me. He's awkward, I imagine that's a big reason he was cast but that's about it. He's awkward. Period. When he does a volatile, emotional, angry scene he isn't gripping he's just awkward. He isn't captivating like Vera Farmiga or chilling like Sheriff Romero. He's just awkward at it. Sheriff Romero doesn't have to do anything but sit there and stare at you and its chilling. He's really creepy and the chemistry between him and Vera Farmiga is fantastic. Norman Bates should be a bit creepy but the actor just doesn't have it, even when he tries. When he gets angry it just looks like he's throwing a tantrum.
Vera Farmiga looked great in the first season but now she always looks like she's wearing a wig. She has one hairstyle and that's it. I wish they would take her back to a more natural look like in the first season.
Dylan is great too. Love his character. I hope to enjoy many more seasons of Bates Motel.
Hansel & Gretel (2013)
actually enjoyed it
The wonderful Dee Wallace is the only thing preventing this movie from being a total cheesefest. She's a great actress that is evident even in this film. Poor Hansel is a bad actor, which was annoying. Also annoying were the amount of times Hansel and Gretel had access to weapons but never used them. Ridiculous when you are running for your life from cannibalistic maniacs. Little things like that annoyed me throughout the movie but Dee Wallace kinda made up for them. I did like all the candies, cookies and magic powder featured in this film that gave it a fantasy aspect. The film gets pretty gory yet still feels like a movie for children. To me anyway.
Prison Break (2005)
It's good but lead actor isn't
I think we're supposed to like the main character, Michael Scofield, but I just never did, not through 4 seasons. He's manipulative, unemotional, has zero personality and only has one way of talking. The actor just wasn't any good.
He speaks very carefully as if he's thinking too hard about the way he talks and he only has one facial expression which is mad. But when he acts mad, he just looks like an angry little boy. I imagine they regretted hiring him when they found out how limited of an actor he was. And I found the actor that played Lincoln really annoying.
Things got really interesting when they were sent to Sona but the 4th season was the weakest in my opinion. T-bag is the only funny thing about this series, he's a despicable human being but I kept hoping they didn't kill him off. The actor did a stupendous job with that character, T-Bag is absolutely hilarious. Alex Mahone was my favorite done exceptionally well by the great actor, William Fichtner.
For me it started off okay, started to get better then died down a bit. Definitely worth watching tho'
A Very Brady Sequel (1996)
Soooooo hilarious
I grew up watching re-runs of The Brady Bunch. I have watched every episode, several times. Two actors in this movie were spot on, the ones who played Marcia and Mr. Brady. It's so fascinating for me to watch them. Some reviewers thought Shelley Long did a good job as Carol, to that I have to disagree. I'm left rather confused by people giving her praise. There were a few times she sounded like Carol but that's about it.
And the girl who played Jan, well, what can I say? She is absolutely hilarious. She plays Jan well, sounds like her and stuff but she puts her own crazy twist to the character which makes her the best thing in the film. She could carry the movie all on her own.
And for the people all bent out of shape over the Marcia, Greg love scene, oh c'mon, it's a COMEDY! Marcia and Greg weren't even blood related and it's well known they had a thing for each other during the taping of the show. So it's FUNNY! A great shock factor. I couldn't believe they were putting that in the movie when I first saw it.
Coffee Town (2013)
Josh Groban is so funny
I didn't know who played the character, Sam, so I googled it and found out it was Josh Groban. He is so funny in this movie, he should quit singing and take up a career as a full-time comedian. He plays a douche bag in this movie and holds nothing back. I've watched the movie several times just to watch him because I find him absolutely hilarious.
The dude who plays the cop was a strange casting choice. He looks nothing like a cop is supposed to look but I guess that was the point. He looks out of place in his uniform and he's supper skinny and let's be real, a great many cops are fat.
It's just a laid back, charming, funny movie without any big "Stars" getting in the way of my enjoyment of the film. Except maybe Josh Groban but I didn't even know who he was.
Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet (2009)
This thing is so annoying
I was excited to watch this because I love horror films but this thing is so annoying. Not only are the characters annoying but the actors themselves are annoying as hell. All the bad acting makes it even worse. Even the sex scenes are irritating. The whole thing is irritating. Irritating teens wreaking havoc on the town, etc...ugh. Such a stupid movie. The beginning of the movie starts out awesome so I thought this would be a great horror film but it's probably the worst I've ever seen and I have seen a lot. It's almost like the Director made a horror film just so he could make a movie about horny teens. I'm actually stunned this movie has a whopping 4.5 stars.
The Counselor (2013)
What happened to this thing
I don't understand this movie. They talk like in metaphors throughout the whole thing, c'mon, NOBODY talks that way. The best character in the movie was the one played by Javier Bardem, at least he had some depth but I refuse to believe anybody would walk around with that hairdo in real life, he looked ridiculous.
And do they really expect us to believe that Brad Pitt's character would have fallen for an obvious plant like the one presented to him in the lobby? She had the slinky dress the makeup and beauty salon hairdo that screams, I would never date you in real life so I must be a plant. His character was too experienced to have fallen for that stunt even though he mentioned he had a weakness for women in the beginning of the film. He wouldn't have acted so recklessly knowing he was a wanted man, especially in the first few days of hiding.
Cameron Diaz was the wrong choice for her role but maybe it was just the terrible script, I can't tell. And she was supposed to have an accent? Really?? Couldn't tell except for her talking weird a few times so I actually had to google it. She was really terrible. I understand they made her redo all her lines for the movie so we shouldn't blame her entirely.
Penelope Cruz looked absolutely beautiful but they made her character annoying during her love scene in the beginning. I don't know why, that just annoyed me. Let's give Cameron some credit though, her splits on top of the car was impressive, if that was really her.
The Cheetahs were a cheesy addition to the movie. They tried to tie it into Cameron's character but it was just lame and added to the cheese fest.
It's entertaining enough to sit through the whole thing but at the end you're left feeling unfulfilled and just bleh.
Let's Go to Prison (2006)
Hilarious
This movie is hilarious, some people are so hard to please. First of all, Dax Shepard's character is hilariously named Lyshitski. Dax kinda' annoys me, I do think he's funny so I don't understand why that is. It might be because he's dating Kristen Bell and I never understood her appeal. Also, he looks like a ped0 next to her so that might be another reason. But anyway, he's funny in this movie.
As for the guy that played, Biederman.....bravo, great performance. He does a great job at playing scared shiteless.
Lastly, the warden's speech in the beginning when they first get to prison is so funny I had to rewind it so I could see it again.
For a Good Time, Call... (2012)
Fun but not very good
Contains SPOILERS: The blonde is totally vindictive and a brat and hated the brunette for no reason. She urinated in the brunette's car so the brunette kicked her out in a bad neighborhood. Uhhh, yeah, I would have done worse if some drunk fool did that in my new car. I would have been po'd, shoved her out of my car and would be tempted to strike her. I could see no reason for the blonde to hate her for that but whatever.
Anyway, they become friends and business partners and so on and so on. Equally stupid is the blonde who is a very sexually open, flamboyant phone sex operator who ends up being a virgin (no offense to phone sex operators, I am one myself). A virgin? Uh...OK, LAME.
Then that religious fanatic comes in undercover to apply for a job with the girls just to sabotage their business. Again, LAME.
But it was fun for me to see the male callers that phoned in, LOL. Working in the industry myself, I got a laugh out of that, pretty accurate.
Troy (2004)
Great, touching movie!
OMG what a great movie. First of all, Brad Pitt's body is perfection. What a work of art he is. There was some great acting in this movie but Brad Pitt was not one of them. Peter O'Toole on the other hand, with his heart wrenching scene with Brad Pitt...my favorite scene in the movie. Peter was fantastic throughout the movie.
Eric Bana besides being great looking, although, could have been in better shape, was just wonderful. His character, Hector, was so good, brave and first and foremost for his people. My heart went out to him throughout the movie, all he ever did was try to do right by his family and the people of Troy. Brad's character, Achilles, was all about glory, pride and stupid vanity so typical of the Gods. Fitting I guess, as Achilles is the son of a Goddess.
Saffron Burrows and the girl who played Helen of Troy, two breath taking beauties. Saffron did some great acting in this film. And she got to play opposite Eric Bana...*sigh.
Orlando Bloom was forgettable in this movie but he is too pretty to be ignored. If I had to lay in bed next to Menelaus that fat, old, brute I would consider taking my own life too.
Magic Mike (2012)
It was worth watching for Tatum
Oh, the beauty that is Tatum Channing. This movie is worth watching just for him. I didn't particularly care for his dancing, although, he was good. Nothing beats Christopher Atkin's strip tease in A Night In Heaven.
The girl (the kid's sister) is really cute but a terrible actress. She's irritating too. The kid, whatever his name was, was a bad choice for his role in the movie. You would think as he continues on with his dancing career he would have toned up a bit throughout the movie but this was not to be. Not a very good actor either.
Matthew Mchaunnahey (however you spell his name, don't wanna look it up) did a strip tease that was disturbing. Leave your clothes on Matthew, nobody wants to see you dance. And that mountain man looking dude, the older dude with the long hair...I don't think there's a woman on the planet who wants to see that strip. What were they thinking casting him?
Tatum Channing was great :-)
Office Space (1999)
How can anyone rate this below a 9?
The writer and director of this movie is a comical genius so I guess that makes Mike Judge a genius. I don't have to know any of his other work, I know this as a fact just from watching this one movie. If you have ever worked in an office setting like this you will understand the genius of Mike Judge. This movie is hilarious.
The lead actor didn't add much to the movie, he is easily replaced. Jennifer Aniston was miscast. The actors this movie CAN NOT do without are as follows, in no particular order. I will use their character names since I don't want to bother looking up their real names:
Michael Bolton, Samir, Lumberg, Bob Slydell, the restaurant manager (Mike Judge), Brian the waiter, Dr. Swanson and Milton. Stephen Root who played Milton was robbed of an Academy Award for his brilliant work in this film. If you see this movie, you will never forget Milton.
Clearly, they wanted to pick actors that not only were funny but looked funny. Well done.
A Night in Heaven (1983)
Help me I love this movie
How could this have gotten such a low rating? (Keep in mind I love cheesy 70's/80's flicks) It's a sexy movie but it's far from trashy. It's got real emotions running through the entire movie mostly thanks to Leslie Anne Warren. I can't get over how she doesn't have any lips though. You don't see that nowadays thanks to collagen. Please understand, I am not praising collagen injections, they're obnoxious. That was sarcasm.
Her character is such a prude it's annoying. She's just adorable when she gets dressed up in that little red dress so it leaves me to wonder why any woman would choose to go around looking as plain as she did through most of this movie.
Christopher Atkins is too adorable in this movie. How could any woman not crush on that kid, married or not. He's irresistible. His strip tease was really sexy. I would like to personally thank the choreographer for keeping his dance number "manly" and most of all for not putting him in a thong, that would have killed it. Word of advice guys, that is not sexy on ANY man, not even on Tatum Channing (drool). I have loved this movie since I was a kid. Atkin's strip tease surely is A Night in Heaven.
Chernobyl Diaries (2012)
I actually enjoyed it
Bad acting, obviously didn't have a big budget to work with. It shows in poor special effects and hiring actors that suck. The blonde looks like Patricia Arquette, way more than her own sister. Despite all this, I am a lover of cheesy 70's/80's B-movie horror flicks so I actually enjoyed Chernobyl Diaries. I like the suspenseful buildup. I just wish they hired better actors, may have made a bit of a difference. Bad acting is somehow better tolerated in bad 70's flicks which tends to amuse me.
Great idea for a movie, could have been way better but I'm sure someone out there will jump on that terror train and entertain us with yet another suspenseful tale of Chernobyl. Such a terrible tragedy. This movie was entertaining enough that I would watch it again, which, I am doing now.