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charlotteelizabethgabrie
Reviews
Triangle of Sadness (2022)
I can't tell if it's an attempted dark comedy or just a gross mess
Warning to anyone who has a phobia of vomit. A 30 minute scene of various (boring) yacht guests projectile vomiting was the breaking point for me. Also, a serving of explosive diarrhoea, which - unsurprisingly - didn't float my boat.
The movie began with a weird, lengthy gathering of male models auditioning, which should have been a sign, transitioned into a very boring, long dinner date between one of these models and his bimbo girlfriend, which transitioned into a fight that lasted 700 hours before the neverending 'Cruise Chaos' (a more apt name).
2hr 30 mins of non-artistic, dreary, gross torture.
...(2 stars for the acting).
My Name Is Sarah (2007)
The worst movie I've ever seen.
If I could rate this zero stars, I would. PLEASE don't waste your time. The positive reviews are clearly all written by the same person. No storyline AT ALL, no sub characters. Whoever chose the music for this movie needs to find another job.
The Perfect Date (2019)
Cute and stress-free
Noah Centineo doing what he does best. Glorious.
Another cute chick-flick, even my mum loved it!
Widows (2018)
Better than expected
Good amount of twists and turns. Good gender roles. Brilliant acting. Good direction. Unpredictable. Good story. Kept me on the edge of my seat and definitely better than all the negative reviews say!!! Worth a go
Berlin, I Love You (2019)
Would rather watch a lawn mower
Just when you think it's getting good.... it doesn't. Far too artsy and unrealistic.
First 15 minutes was absurdly confusing and random (is he really falling in love with his car's GPS system?!) The music is HORRENDOUSLY drifty, beatless and melancholic (in a bad way) throughout. Helen Mirren and Keira Knightley brought something to the table, although not sure what it was as the storyline in this situation was dull, dull, dull.
Some kind of busker falls in love with another street performer with enormous angel wings (why?!?) and there is ZERO storyline there either. Lost interest immediately and found the feta cheese in my salad to be more invigorating.
I will say the acting is quite good and some of the actors are attractive enough to stay looking at the screen for more than 4 seconds at a time.
Actually, there was quite a good scene in a laundrette that I was enjoying until, 3 minutes in (random and irrelevant), the entire cast of High School Musical pranced in and did an over-dramatic dance routine and we were back at square one again.
Luke Wilson and Diana Agron performed a cute skit and it was refreshingly bright (& a bit cheesy). If the whole film had focused on their story alone I would have looked up from my feta cheese a lot more often.
Unfortunately, brand new characters appeared and suddenly threw in a random car chase which was an unwelcome adrenaline rush.
Then, finally at the end of the movie, one of the characters (who knows what her name is) started screeching out an AWFUL song that should be illegal. I think my ears are damaged.
Overall, someone had too many ideas and smashed them all together in this mess of a movie. Would not recommend for anyone, anytime, anywhere.
Life Itself (2018)
VERY DEPRESSING
The five stars are purely for the great acting throughout. I'm over half way through and it's just been tragedy after tragedy. Suddenly after all the tragedies a person can handle, the film shifts to some random Spanish soap opera. I cannot see the relevance. If you are looking for a romance movie like this suggests it is then please look elsewhere.