McStallen Reviews

World War Z (2013)

Not As Bad As I Thought It Would Be (SPOILER ALERT)

[6/10 · 29 July 2013]

The action begins when Brad Pitt and his family are trying to drive through Center City Philadelphia. No family in their right mind would ever do this. Suddenly a massive zombie outbreak occurs and Brad Pitt is able to flee Philly within a few minutes. This was probably the most unrealistic part of the movie as it would take about an hour to get out of that part of the city during a normal day without zombies.

Brad Pitt then takes his family to Newark, NJ, presumably because it was an unaffected city. Although there are no signs that Newark has changed, Pitt decides to rescue another third world orphan, who he renames "Tommy" and then gets choppered out to sea to study the outbreak.

Pitt flies to South Korea next, where the zombies have caused constant darkness and torrential rain. Pitt talks to David Morse, who has pulled out all of his teeth but still talks fine, and then Brad decides to go to Israel to pacify Arab-Israeli relations. Unfortunately, a large group of Palestinians storm Jerusalem and Pitt flees in a Russian airliner.

He crashlands somewhere near England and goes to a research lab. While trying to make vaccines, he encounters a strange guy who keeps grinding his teeth and it is a little unclear if this guy is a zombie or just British, and I think this scene confused a lot of other movie-goers.

Then some other stuff happens, there is some more product placement and the movie ends.

Bravo Two Zero (1999 TV Movie)

A Good Movie Until I Realized the Audience Was Lied to

[3/10 · 12 June 2009]

When I first saw this movie, I really liked it. It is a gritty, low- budget movie that seemed very realistic and not too preachy.

But then I started reading about the movie and I felt really ripped off- this movie tries to come across as the sincere, truth story of an SAS raid behind enemy lines in Iraq, complete with firsthand narration.

IF you research the movie, there are all sorts of allegations as to its truthfulness, many coming from former SAS members. I read a lot and concluded McNab's tale was mostly fictional/grossly exaggerated, and this movie is likely a collection of lies and manipulations. Read up on it yourself and draw your own conclusions.

I understand movies are meant to entertain, and can be entirely fictional. But I have a huge problem of a movie trying to hold itself out as something it isn't, particularly if it made be a "reputable" company such as the BBC, and I really can't give it a decent grade because of that.

The Osterman Weekend (1983)

Peckinpah's last film...and it's bad...but at least t's better than Convoy

[3/10 · 22 December 2005]

This movie has a fine cast, a lot of suspense, and some very well-done scenes. But overall, it sucks.

Asnumerous viewers have already pointed out, it starts off fine but then gradually declines, and then really gets bad in the last half-hour or so. Far too much time is spent on the weekend antics (sex, drugs and mystery surrounding some angry and guarded people), and then the plot abruptly shifts and we learn of new motives and identities for many of the characters. There wasn't a good to lead-in to any of that, and then there's not a lot of time left to rectify everything, so Peckipah quickly throws a bunch of scenes together and we are left with a very unsatisfying, messy ending.

As the action speeds up, the title character ("Osterman" played by Craig T. Nelson of "Coach" fame) seems to transform from dark mystery figure to action-comedy actor, and he starts spouting lame one-liners that are very out of place.

Rutger Hauer is a bit out of place here as well. He's a good actor and he puts in a good effort, but I think he's just too much of an action-actor and too physically imposing to fit the role of smarmy expose TV-reporter.

Peckinpah has a habit of really repeating the same themes over-and-over again- whether it is the decline of the Wild West, the fusion of the north Mexican culture with that of the American Southwest, or climaxes featuring bloody altercations between a group of intoxicated tough-guys. Since this is based on a Robert Ludlum book, the themes are absent and it at least helps create a little more mystery.

If you like Peckinpah, you should see it, because this was his last film. It's interesting from that stand-point, but it's not a very good film.

Oh and "Convoy" is a fun film- but it's really bad too.

Stalingrad (1993)

A fine film, but over-rated

[7/10 · 12 October 2005]

Europeans love to talk up this film as a great WWII spectacle- so I got tired of some posters on this board lauding it as the greatest war film ever, and decided to actually buy it and see what all the hype was about

So what's really going on here? First of all, it is a good WWII film. There is a lot of good action here, good production values, and a good film altogether

At the same time, people give this film way too much credit- What I don't like: 1) It follows the tired "All Quiet on the Western Front"/"Cross of Iron" etc genre where-by all German grunts are noble warriors (except for token bad-seed suck-up NCO) led by evil officers, and are slain one-by-one as the situation deteriorates 2) The Germans are portrayed too positively. Sure, many German soldiers in WWII were good people- I'm not debating that- but this movie really seems to propogandize things and make all of the German grunts look like good people that wouldn't want to terrorize the Stalingrad residents. That is naive to say the least 3) There isn't a lot of action. Budget constraints maybe? C'mon- we're talking the meat-grinder that was Stalingrad- at the height of the fighting the Germans were taking 20,000 KIA a week (and the Russians were probably taking more)- yet this is more of a drama than an action movie, and that doesn't sit well with war-mongers like me. If you want drama, go to A&E. If you want to make a great war film, you need great battle scenes- and the combat is certainly lacking, especially in light of the film's running time

Beach Red (1967)

Great under-rated WWII film

[8/10 · 12 October 2005]

This movie is just starting to get released to the mainstream. If you like WWII films and find it at a cheap price, buy it- you won't be disappointed. It's the Castle Keep of the Pacific- only it makes a little more sense This is a great quasi-anti-war movie that was created during the earlier stages of the Vietnam war. Though it focuses on the American forces, it gives pretty fair treatment to the Japanese soldiers. The music and the dialogue is great, and the action is decent.

I really like Rip Torn as Sgt Honeywell in this. I'm used to him playing the tough old guy Arty in The Larry Sanders Show. Arty acted like a tough guy, but he was old and I think everyone knew he was soft. BUT he is much younger here, and tough as nails- an intimidating character- his justification for fighting the Japanese and breaking both arms of a prisoner is bad-ass -"I'm a kill 'em, I'm a stab 'em...." Cornel Wilde plays the lead officer- pretty similar to Staros in The Thin Red Line- but he's solid The climax is a bit contrived and perhaps too overly-melodramatic, but it's fine for its time

My two knocks- there is a bit too much stock footage in the beginning, and the two main NCOs are boring backwoods idiots

Ninja III: The Domination (1984)

Yet another reason why I distance myself from the rest of humanity

[1/10 · 12 October 2005]

I saw this movie a few years ago, and man I never want to golf again. I mean ninjas apparently have no respect for the game of golf or the way it has evolved. And I'm not talking about "victimless" stuff like forging a scorecard. No no- Based on what I've seen here, they shamelessly massacre policemen and golfers alike on hallowed country club grounds. Judge Smailes would be spinning in his grave. And do they repent for said sins? No no, based on what I have seen here, the typical response by a slain ninja is to take over the body of a buxom female telephone repairwoman and seek revenge. I find this morally reprehensible, and needless to say, after viewing this nonsense, I not only stopped golfing and talking on the telephone, but also decided to stop feeding the homeless.