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Reviews
Dark Shadows (1991)
The hit that should have been.
I was one of those junior-high school kids that would race home, fast as lightning, to see the original "Dark Shadows" when it came on at 3:30. Decades later, when this adaptation appeared, I must admit I was still comparing it to the original, rather critically.
But watching it now, with a new (and possibly dreadful) film version coming out, I see what I missed back then: that this one is infinitely superior to the original.
True, Ben Cross had some large shoes to fill; but he did it so well, and the photography was dynamite, especially when they'd fade out, until the pin-point light in his eyes was the last thing you'd see.
As I say, I await the new one with some trepidation; I hear it's been "comedy-ized," and that could be horrible. Will it turn out to be a worthy homage? This one certainly was. Looks like Johnny Depp will also have some large shoes to fill.
Mosley (1998)
Flawed, but interesting.
As former head of the American Fascist Party, I know a thing or two about Fascism and its roots in Mosley's BUF. Mr. Cake portrays Mosley as a smarmy lounge-lizard much of the time, which is totally inaccurate; he does, however, shine brilliantly during the Albert Hall speech. Fascism and its policies (and internal difficulties) are portrayed accurately, if somewhat superficially; few people know that the BUF was a promoter of peace and "England First." In spite of some truly dreadful casting (Hitler and Goebbels are nearly unrecognizable) the film is, at least, better than nothing. The depiction of the "Battle of Cable Street" is exciting and well done. Worth buying.
Psychomania (1973)
Best Rotten Biker Flick of the Age
Yes, I saw it on late-nite telly a couple times while suitably buzzed. And that, my friends, is the way to watch "Psychomania." How can ya "spoil" a flick this bad? Here we have a bunch of utter twerps that would never make it in a real bike club, who discover how to come back from the dead. Okay, what do they do with this power, now that they can never die or be hurt again? Rule the world? At least take over Coventry? No. They steal a tank of gas for their bike, ride thru shopping centers knocking people's carts over, and pinch a lovely lady's bum. That's about it ...
The incredibly stupid script is nearly saved by some cool scenes, like dead Tom bursting out of his grave on a very cool Triumph. Never mind that in reality, old Triumphs are hard as Hell to kick-start even when they're NOT full of grave-dirt. And the bikes racing around are really quite thrilling, and well-filmed.
The bikes, in fact, are this film's only saving grace. It's one of those movies that's so bad, it's good, and it remains my favorite rotten biker flick of all time.
I'll drag it out on those rare occasions when I've got a really good joint or two.
Stoned (2005)
Is it as bad as claimed?
Very nearly as bad as claimed. It falls just short of "awful," and I read somewhere that it only made 32 K -- not even enough to cover production costs.
I remember when Brian Jones died.
So I was hoping for a decent tribute, even if critical. I didn't really get it, with this film. Sorta. But not quite. Brian was a quirky musical genius in his own way, and such people often live in their own worlds, often misunderstood. Syd Barrett, 'nother excellent case. "Stoned" starts at the end, with Brian dead in his pool, and re-traces things from there ... but in a manner so choppy that it leaves the viewer going "huh? What was that? Who's that, again?" more times than I care to count. And, that little flash-scene in the opening, with a dog's throat getting cut, isn't about anything in the movie or in real life. Why is it in there? Obviously, the film maker hoped to be making something as "cult" as Mick Jagger's film, "Performance," an infinitely better picture.
But "Performance," this is not. Brian is tolerably portrayed, the other Rolling Stones are barely recognizable in spite of their best efforts. And Anita is tolerably done. But I'm afraid all the lovely naked ladies that flash through this film (literally) can't save it from what, ultimately, is an odd script, lousy direction, and quirky (to be charitable) cinematography.