jaynobody Reviews

A Haunted Turkish Bathhouse (1975)

Great Japanese mash up

[8/10 · 28 September 2022]

While this movie may start out as a yakuza and prostitutes skin flick it evolves into horror when the Ghost Cat Lady shows up. A brothel decides to convert to the titular Turkish Bath House in order to try and avoid a government prostitution crackdown. Physical abuse against the women is brutal and after one gets pregnant you see how bad the pimps and even other girls are. But don't worry revenge is on the way.

After some hilarious flying cat sequences the ghost cat lady appears and quickly becomes the coolest thing about this movie. I quite liked this movie, its a bit slow to get going but the last half hour is gold.

This film seemed to be hard to find in the past but now has a Blu Ray from Mondo Macabro. I actually think it deserves to rank quite high on the best Japanese Horror films of all times list, and hope it finds a new audience as a cult favorite.

Midnight Oil (2017)

Worthless garbage

[1/10 · 19 March 2022]

This was one the stupidest most pointless movies I ever saw. Everything is bad, the acting, the writing, the camera work, the lighting. I can't think of one single thing that didn't suck about this movie. At one point the guy who plays Lenny is just babbling incoherently about Whitley Streiber, no idea what the point of the dialogue was. Nothing worse than a stoner comedy that isn't remotely funny. I would rather have a tooth pulled than watch this again. Troma what were you thinking?

Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021)

Not bad

[7/10 · 25 August 2021]

I have seen quite a few Sion Sono movies and would call myself a fan, and think cage Nic Cage has been a few great sleeper hits in the last few years too so I was pretty hopeful for this. I saw it at at sneak preview screening at a festival tonight.

Cage is a bank robber who is given a mission to retrieve Bill Mosley's "granddaughter" from a post apocalyptic wasteland populated by a weird nuclear obsessed cut. Its told in partially in flashbacks and who the characters are becomes clear pretty quick.

It was okay but I'm certainly not calling it classic. Kind of a surrealist mad max with a few samurais, a few decent scenes of blood and violence but nothing too extreme. Its got nice visuals but its a little slow, and little light on story.

When people who just want to see the next Nicolas Cage action flick get a strange, somewhat slow paced arty mashup of genres I don't know, I think there may be some disappointed viewers when this gets a wide release. There is some weird just for weird sake type stuff in the film, like scene where everyone is clapping or snapping in unison when Bill Mosley arrives, it just goes on a little too long. Same with the shot of the gumball machine, those scenes were kind of pointless and should have been edited down.

But I didn't hate this. It looks cool. The actress who plays Bernice is lovely. The mannequins are trippy. I like the scenes where everyone is wearing masks. I'll watch it again. 7/10.

What Did Jack Do? (2017)

Terrible

[4/10 · 22 January 2020]

David Lynch plays a cop who interviews a monkey who killed his wife. Really boring. The monkey sings too. If this had been directed by an unknown director everyone would agree it's garbage. But Lynch has an army of fawning fanboys. I like almost everything by this director, even Rabbits, but this was pretty low effort.

Andrey Iskanov's Visions of Suffering (Final Director's Cut) (2016)

Nightmarish hallucinatory horror.

[9/10 · 29 March 2019]

I saw the directors's cut before seeing the original, and I like it much more. It's more polished, and it flows much better. The story is bascially the same a young guy spends his days watching disturbing porn and obessing over death when he is attacked by vampire type creatures from another dimension which try to drag him back into their world.

I like this version much better, it is quite different, large parts of the original have been cut and new footage added, I think I read it only contains like 25 percent of the original. You can see a huge progression from the original to this, the effects and post production work are fantastic. The music is awesome. If you only saw the original you should check out this version.

It's not mainsteam film by any means, it's more of an abstract or experimental work of art. Iskanov has included a montage of real death and disease in the first few minutes that is strangely beautiful. Be warned: amongst a bunch of autopsy footage there is a scene that looks like possibly real necrophilia. This movie is not for the faint of heart, but I loved it. 9/10

Jodorowsky's Dune (2013)

Inspiring

[10/10 · 19 July 2014]

Jordorowsky has been my favorite director for a long time although I knew little about him as a person. This movie made me really like him. Really inspiring movie. Back in the pre internet days when you wanted to find someone you had to go out and find them via an agent of just word of mouth. The people Jordorowsky enlists are insane: Salvador Dali, Mick Jagger, Pink Floyd, Orson Wells. I did not realize this project involved Dan O'bannon (RIP), his window gives a nice interview. Eventually he and HR Giger (RIP) go on to do Alien so everything works out for them. Moebius (RIP) is still one of the most under rated artists. Also a nice rant about money ruining the art of film by Jordo who sounds like he could have gotten green lighted if shortened it to 1.5 hours. Greatest film never made. Fantastic documentary, made me want to go out and direct. Such a positive and life affirming doc, if it had been me I would have been crushed, good to see he still has the fight in him. I highly recommend Dune.

The Hallucinating Trip (1975)

Terrible

[3/10 · 8 May 2014]

Saw this at HMV and thought "I like Italian movies and love 70's psychedelia" but this movie was terrible. It was made in 1975 and the drugs were pot and the "other stuff" which comes in pill form and makes you trip. Oh and it makes some drug-less dealer woman in a castle want to die if she doesn't have any. It also makes you foam at the mouth and sense bugs all over you. Basically those pills caused every negative thing every to come out of the mouth of your local police scare mongers about every drug that ever existed. The USA was producing realistic depictions of heroin five years before this like Panic in Needle Park and The Trip was showing realistic LSD use in 1967. In 1975 this film shows the mafia supplying LSD to student radicals, a drug they have have always considered below them. There is no money in it and its not addictive. This movie is so detached from reality it is a joke considering the mafia were pumping heroin into Italy by this time. It could have been relevant, instead it was silly. Some of the city backgrounds are nice but the "trippy party" was not trippy and they stole Peter Fonda's Pirate shirt and some music from the Trip but that was apparently all they got from that flick. It may be hard to simulate the experience, and probably even harder since no one involved had clearly ever done any drugs ever in their lives. This was an anti hippie flick but it seems like it may have been marketed to that crowd, although also trying to appeal to middle class Italians who are far enough removed from drugs that someone dying with foam in their mouth a day after an LSD party seemed legit. Terrible movie 3/10. Anyone want to buy a Blu Ray?

The Wicker Man (2006)

Really lame

[2/10 · 6 April 2014]

I love the original Wicker Man. This one on the other hand was beyond bad. And not in a fun bad way either. I could not enjoy it on any level. None of the good things from the original were present in this one and when they did use lines from the original it just sounded fake and forced. Even worse they added a bunch of crap that didn't improve anything. Lord Summerside was a chick in this instead of Christopher Lee. They raise bees for no reason. They changed the back story i.e. Rowan's dad just so they could add the last pointless scene. The original ending was great, this was lame. Mr Cage is terrible as usual. He punches several women which was disturbing. If you were waiting for a chance to see him kick Leelee Sobeski (sp) in the head I guess this is your chance. The highlight is the "step away from the bike" line, although at this point you are clearly laughing at a movie that is not a comedy. To sum it up the original one was a masterpiece of film making and this one was a stupid and pointless bore. Nothing good about it, I would never watch this again. The real Wicker Man I have seen several times and watch it again and again on a regular basis. This is one the worst remakes I have ever seen, almost spitting in the face of all the people who think the original was a classic. 2/10 from me, I thought going in the current score on here was probably going to be overly harsh. Not at all, this was garbage.

Gas! -Or- It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save It. (1970)

I liked it

[8/10 · 9 March 2014]

I gave it a 7.5 rounded up to 8 as it's score on IMDb is really low. The music in this is awesome for one thing. The satire is amusing and I sense a lot of the internet generation who voted so low on this one just didn't get it. I laughed a few times. I was entertained throughout. Would be a nice double bill with Corman's the Trip, another under appreciated movie (at least on here). I liked the SW scenery too in this too. I thought this was way better than say Zabriskie Point which everyone raves about. Easy Rider will always be the best hippie road trip movie, but this wasn't that bad. It part sci-fi, part comedy, part musical, part exploitation, it kind of defies a neat little categorization. Don't let the IMDb hate scare you away, it's actually pretty good. I wish Corman had directed a few more movies.

The Curse of the Alpha Stone (1972)

That was alpha bad

[3/10 · 12 January 2014]

This movie is really bad. The acting is horrible. The music seems unrelated to the film. The plot is non existent. No budget. There's reason so few people have voted on it. Click on the main actor or director's name and this is the only thing either of them ever did. At least most of the females in it had some skin flicks to their credit. At one point Able is talking to the dean (who looks more like a guy who owns a porn store than a dean) and the audio fades and you can tell one of the boom mics isn't working, but hey why reshoot just because one person sounds like they are in a deep tunnel? During the video boom of the mid 80's a lot of unwatchable crap from the 70's that never saw the light of day was thrown on VHS with the hope some new cover art on the box would lure people to rent it. That's the only reason this was made in 1972 and released in the mid 80's. Do not bother unless you like this sort of crap. It really is a contender for worst of all time. You almost have to try to make a movie this bad. 3/10 that is being nice.

Death Proof (2007)

Bad movie

[6/10 · 24 April 2009]

I give it 6 because it looks good and I liked the soundtrack. Quentin Tarantino hasn't done anything worth watching since Pulp fiction. Kill bill 1 and 2, Jackie Brown, these movies are terrible. This Death Proof film, is just boring. Pointless. The script just drones on. At lease his earlier films had some good writing, maybe he used up all his ideas in his first 2 films. Even the car chase, it was wasn't anywhere near as good as some of the classic car flicks mentioned in the film. Planet Terror was great. I love the homage to old B movie horror flicks. Quentin Tarantino is making parodies of his own style now. When it was Travolta and Sam L Jackson it was a great back and forth between them, just because you are making a homage to a B movie doesn't mean it has to be lame dialogue. Nothing said in death proof is memorable, I think of the lines from pulp fiction that are classic, there nothing here like that at all. Certainly no plot to speak of. The action is forgettable, the characters are one dimensional. The build up is slow, and then it doesn't build up to anything. I am ready to give up on this director. Just because you make stylish movies with lots of hip references, thats not enough to make your movie worth watching, never mind buying the DVD.

Last Days (2005)

Did not like it

[4/10 · 14 January 2007]

Some of the music was good. The natural beauty of the forested background was scenic. That is all I will say good about this film. The long no cut away shots of Blake went nowhere, and at one point its a long shot of just a bush. Lame. Boring. I wanted to like to like this movie, i love Van Sant, but both the girlfriend and i almost fell asleep during this snooze fest. I don't know what the point of this movie was. It looked OK but it was just style with no real script to back it up. Its about one person, but he never talks so its not a developed character either. I don't like watching several long shots of a single camera angle that do nothing to push the story forward. I did not like this movie at all and wish i had come here and read the IMDb reviews first so i could have rented a better movie instead.

It's All Gone Pete Tong (2004)

I like this movie

[7/10 · 14 January 2007]

I love movies where people do a ton of drugs! This film takes place on the party island of Ibiza and revolves around the life of a DJ who is slowly going deaf. The music is cool even if you aren't into that music scene you will like this movie. For one thing its funny. I laughed out loud several times during this film. The acting is good from everyone. Its a touching story. Its a good movie to watch after getting a buzz. The scenes with the giant hallucination that chases him around are great. The way he dances and freaks out at all the parties made me laugh. I laughed a lot during this movie. It was a well written script. I hope more people get a chance to see this move. Anyone interested in deafness themselves should buy this movie.

Sin City (2005)

Awesome!

[10/10 · 6 November 2005]

All I can say about this movie is "wow". The style just blew me away, never has a movie come so close to emulating a comic book as this one. The mostly black and white film has splashes of color that just add to the mood. Its like a modern film noir. I am not a big fan of CGI effects in general, but this movie seems made for them.

Some people have dismissed the characters as underdeveloped, but is that not the point of the film? These aren't supposed to be real characters, they are comic book characters, they are almost arch types.

The thin line between right and wrong the "good guys" in this film walk is never far from the surface, but in Sin City you can torture people and still be a "good guy". The men in this film are all violent, the women are mostly one dimensional sex objects. Thats the world they inhabit, and the women in this film are certainly not weak. In fact they kick more butt then any man. Many people can't get by the fact that this film takes place in a stylized world that exists in the fantasy of many young boys. Tough guys, sexy women, and lots of violence. The action in this film is fast, and super violent. Standout performances from Benico Del Toro, Mickey Rouke, Bruce Willis, and Jessica Alba.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Dawn of the Dead was great!

[9/10 · 19 March 2005]

I love this movie. Unlike all the CGI crap that passes for special effects these days, Dawn of the Dead (2004) is a breath of fresh air. Most of the special effects are done the old fashioned way, and it shows.

This movie starts fast and doesn't let up. The cast is great, and it has characters you really care about. How often does that happen in horror movies today? Sarah Polly is great as the female lead, and Jake Weber is also great as the reluctant leader. Ving Rhames is tough as always, and every other cast member is very good.

This movie is a great end of the world film, capitalizing on post 9-11 fears and bring Romeros legendary epic into the 21st century. It also is one the most nihilistic movies to come out of Hollywood in some time. It was actually scary too. I look forward to seeing more work from director Zack Synder.

I own the directors unrated cut DVD which has some great extras, and some that are kind of cheesy too. The directors commentary is great, and I never like those things either.

My only regret is I did not know this movie was being filmed in Toronto, or I would have tried to get a job as an extra zombie.

Style Wars (1983 TV Movie)

The best film about graffiti ever

[10/10 · 5 February 2005]

It is a shame so few people have seen the 1982 PBS documentary "Style Wars". It is not listed in either Lenny Maltin's or Videohound's giant books. This story of NYC graffiti writers fighting transit cops, their parents, and each other is still the definitive word on graffiti and early hip hop culture in the days before it became commercialized. This was probably the 1st film anywhere to examine break dancing and hip hop in any depth well before either became mainstream. For that reason alone it is an important part of hip hop history, to see what it was all about before corruption by cash and fame.

Some standout personalities in this film include one armed Case, former NYC mayor Ed Koch, graffiti "villan" Cap, and Skeme and his mom. On the 2nd DVD many of the still living graffiti writers are interviewed in 2001, and although Skeme is now a major in the US army, his (now) little old lady mom is still afraid someone's kid is going to get hurt in the subway tunnel. Some of the kids from Style Wars are dead like Shy and Dondi (both have tributes),and some went to prison like Min. Some are successful 40 and even 50 somethings today. One or two even go paint the occasional subway car still.

The 1st DVD contains outtakes from Style Wars, some of which could have been removed originally to make the filmmakers look better. The transit authority cop says he thinks the film will encourage others to commit vandalism. It is also apparent when watching this DVD that Cap was made out to seem worse than he was thru creative editing. The 2nd DVD contains a great short film from 1976 (I think) called Classic hits by Tracy 168 (from Wild Style).

Overall this film tries to look at graffiti from the perspectives of the writers themselves, citizens of New York, and the establishment. Even the artists saw the end of the golden age coming with barbed wire fences and eventually even dogs being employed to keep them out of the train yards. It's just unfortunate that such an original art form was so unrecognized by mainstream society. Maybe it had to be that way anyway, when the art community did notice and galleries did start showing the art on canvas, it tended to become fossilized. The scene in the gallery is funny because the artists who are planning to cash in on graffiti try to convince themselves that "getting up" can be be done on canvas as well as trains. A young Swedish woman at the art gallery correctly observes its not the same on canvas, that is an art form that belonged on the trains, not on a gallery wall.

The definitive book to go along with Style wars is "Subway Art" by Henry Chalfant who also produced style Wars. He and Martha Cooper spent a huge amount of time photographing NYC subways, and their hard work is well documented on the 2nd DVD which contains 32 artist galleries and a 30 minute loop of train photos.

If all you have ever seen about graffiti is "Wild Style" or "Beat Street", pick up Style Wars. If you can find it. Stylewars.com