nmn34 Reviews

Fallout (2024– )

I'm torn

[6/10 · 3 May 2024]

I started off really not liking this show. The first two episodes are a mighty let down with a lot of bad writing and plot conveniences. Characters just know things. She has been locked in a bunker all her life, but she knows what a raider is? That she would just run into the man she needs to to find the raider that took her father. Twice. Which led me to my biggest complaint, there is no adventure in this adventure story. Nothing has any real significance, they are just places. There is no destination for most of the series, its just a vague direction that eventually comes together because the season needs to come to an end. Nothing is earned, nobody has any significance and its just a stop on a trip to nowhere. But then episode three starts and the series makes a complete 180. The lack of any real focus is still there, but now we are blessed with the story of the series' best character, The Ghoul.

Cooper Howard is a great character with an interesting backstory, commanding presence, and a well needed kick in the show's pants. And he works well paired with Lucy Maclean, hardening her and preparing her for the dangers of the wasteland. And this carries over when she later leaves him for Maximus, helping her cover for the weakest of the three main characters. Maximus is just awful, a sniveling jerk at worst and a overgrown child at best. And we also have another surprisingly interesting plot arises, Norm Maclean who I thought was going to be a weasel character easily written off, steps up in his investigation behind the vault's new overseer. For four episodes this series really had me invested.

And then it tried to wrap up the stories, to an underwhelming conclusion. The overseer's secret should have been a bigger impact but was undercut by the revelations in The Ghoul's story. Revelations that were a massive overstretch, namely that corporations have any nukes let alone enough to initiate nuclear Armageddon. And that they still have nukes to destroy the socialist utopia of a woman who somehow aged thirty years in the last 200.

For four episodes, I thought the show was really interesting and for four episodes I was sorely disappointed. I liked the look of the locations but never once were any of them memorable to the plot. I liked three of the four main characters and wanted to see where they ended up but was left underwhelmed in the end. I liked the throwbacks the the games but the new content doesn't live up to them as much. Every step forward also felt like a step back.

Butterbean's Café (2018–2020)

I'm disappointed.

[20 August 2020]

I was expecting the story of Tough Guy turn freak show boxer Butterbean as he goes through the trials ans tribulations of being a restaurateur. Now my day is ruined.

Fury of the Demon (2016)

Torn

[5/10 · 4 August 2020]

This is a movie that combines elements of horror and documentary. And it does handle the subject fairly well. The interviews are believable and the history is pretty interesting. But in spite of all that, the end product just doesn't work.

As a documentary, the subject matter is interesting, at least for film buffs. While I have seen some of his short videos, I don't know much about Georges Melies. So I found much of the historical research to be quite interesting. Only thing, the whole movie is predicated on a lie. There never was a Fury of the Demon, at least nothing I can confirm with a routine google search, and certainly not any violent riots caused by it. And this hurts the movie as a documentary. They delivered everything with such earnestness, I can't really tell where the lies end and the truth begins. As a result, I can't tell if the rest of the movie is true.

As a horror movie, there is a very simple reason it doesn't quite work. The movie is a "lost film." As in, it doesn't exist. There is nothing for them to show so everything is handled second hand, with newspaper clippings. There is simply no hook. Say what you will about Antrum, that its a hokey gimmick, but at the very least it presents you with something.

Cannon Busters (2019)

Its Like Trigun

[3/10 · 19 June 2020]

But not as good. Admittedly, I only got a couple episodes in, but I just really don't feel compelled to continue. Which is a shame, it looks really pretty. The characters are interesting to look at, like the bounty hunter with the scorpion tail and the girl with the human leather skirt, and even the CG isn't as jarring as it is in something like Berzerk or Fist of the No Neck Star. But its everything else that drags the rest of the series down.

So first issue, the genre mix. Its a sci fi, mech, sword and sorcery, wild wild western, and I'm probably missing some other ones but for the sake of brevity I'll wrap it up there. Now strange mixes of genres aren't necessarily a bad thing. There are movies like Phantom of the Paradise and American Astronaut that take seemingly incongruent archetypes, a rock opera/horror and a western/rock opera set in space, and somehow manage to make them work with each other. I compared it to Trigun because of its wild characters and sci fi western setting but as far as the feel of the narrative, Canon Busters is rendered inadequate. The issue is, none of it seems to fit together. The Cadillac that turns into a robot already feels a bit much when one character is immortal and the other is a super weapon, but then there is a sword and sorcery war and I had to throw my hands up and tap out. Trigun has some wild characters like a woman that hypnotizes people with her eye and a giant made of nine midgets, but it all is grounded within a world where such things, while unusual. Cannon Busters just throws mechs at you out of nowhere. Then magic in the next episode. Ultimately, it makes i a story that doesn't feel like it knows what it wants to be.

Character structure is weak as well. Maybe they flesh them out as it goes on, but they all seem too OP right from the get go. Again, I turn to Vash from Trigun. He is a very overpowered character by the end of the story that could raise entire cities with just his arm, but at the start, he doesn't showcase just how powerful he is. He restrains himself, never killing his enemies and portrays himself more as a bumbling idiot until he needs to sack up. Philly on the other hand, gets a hole blown through his chest and walks it off before he is even introduced. This is made worse in the second episode when he is poisoned and dies again. While the first time he healed in seconds, the second time puts him out for a lot longer which raises questions on how this ability works. His regeneration doesn't feel natural and acts when the author wants it to rather than being a real thing. The same applies for Sam who is revealed to be a super weapon, like Vash, but in the very first episode. And now everyone looks like a jobber by comparison.

Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made (2018)

Depends On What You Think a Movie Is

[8/10 · 15 June 2020]

Warning. This is a movie that's better watched without prior research.

Antrum is a gimmick. It is a movie about a movie that plays the movie in its entirety, and that is going to make it a difficult pill for many people to swallow. But the premise is pretty solid. There exists this movie, it is pretty messed up, and everyone who watches it dies. Now, does it work?

The movie is interesting in its commitment to the gimmick. It does feel like a movie from the 70s. There are a few tells that detract from it, but things like the choice of clothes, the jenky 70s audio, and grainy film quality does make it feel older. But more importantly, it makes some of the effects feel natural. Periodically, there are sigils that pop up that looked as though they were etched into the film by hand. Then comes the truly messed up parts. The movie sporadically just quits and cuts to some shocking footage. I didn't care for the torture scenes so much but there is one scene that I found truly disturbing. Without spoiling anything, its when the screen just spontaneously goes black where the movie gets genuinely so creepy it becomes hard to watch. There is no build to it but it is the most upsetting two minutes I've seen in any movie.

Unfortunately, the plot of the movie is a bit slow and tedious. There are long shots of kids digging a hole. In fact, that's the premise of the movie. This isn't necessarily bad, it works with the gimmick, but if you can't bring yourself to buy into that gimmick, its going to hurt. A lot. No manner of horrible taxidermy squirrels or devil shaped brass bulls is going to save that. If you can get into it, the movie is pretty entertaining, like looking up cursed images online. Its just you putting more into it.

I overall liked it. It was a fun experience if only for its cursed film gimmick. Not for everyone but ultimately something that should have been tried for yourself before reading a single review. So if you've gotten to this point, you've done goofed.

La Frecuencia Kirlian (2017– )

I Almost Want to Dock a Point

[10/10 · 11 June 2020]

Because there are only 6 nine minute episodes. The stories are short but atmospheric. The animation is minimalist but this is not a detriment to the story. With the exception of the "off air" scenes, when the stories are told only through subtitles, much of this could just be audio and still be effective. Which is really a good move considering all the stories revolve around a late night radio show DJ taking calls or doing interviews.

Beneath (I) (2013)

A Pearl Before Swine

[3/10 · 16 March 2020]

Wow, that is actually a pretty good monster. Unfortunately it was used for this stinker. That being said, even that isn't without its faults. The fish moves like a real fish and looks pretty reminiscent of Jaws in a way. The only thing, they film it way too much. What worked for Jaws is the unpredictabilty of the attacks. The shark isn't seen until the very last moment and it makes every time someone is in the water more suspenseful. You don't get that here. In fact, you get the opposite, at no point are you ever unaware of just where the fish is. Even when it rams the boats, you see it coming from a mile away. And not very quickly. While it can mover reasonably fast, doing so may have put the boat or the fish at risk, so they made sure it moved in very slowly. Laughably slowly.

Then that the positive is out of the way, there is everything elsa. So little of this movie works. The main "hero" gets no time or shine as they focus on the bickering of kids. Even before their situation gets bad, they're already turning on each other. They don't even take the time to take inventory before they start condemning each other to death. And once that starts, it just gets worse. A lot of melodrama unfolds that casts shade on all of them and they just grow even more malicious and evil. They even orchestrate the hero's demise seemingly on a whim and completely unnecessarily. So that they could get his boat. The one he is going to tow them with. Yes they make a comment that he wouldn't be able to pull the weight of theirs, buyt they do nothing to try to lighten their load. And even then, onc eit would be found that they were in such a state, it would make more sense that by saving him, they could convince him to take them aboard.

As to their utility, no one is really of any worth. Each character can be summed up by their tropes. There is the strong jock, mouthy nerd, girl, the other girl, none of them characterized enough to even have a last name. The backstory is that they know each other, as gripping as that mayt be, and that girl cheated on jock with other jock and nerd was a witness. Hero likes girl and other girl has a pulse until she doesn't. Riveting, I know.

Ultimately, they all kill each other. This was probably the most optimal way to end the movies as you'll hate just about everyone, but it still doesn't make it a good way to conclude a story. There was an intention to fim flashbacks but that wouldn't help. Its problem is structural, they jump to conclusions far too quickly and then start to do things that should have been done sooner. They don't even start checking their bags for stuff to save themselves until the other girl bleeds out and is fed to the fish and they condemn the nerd to die.

The Misty Green Sky (2016)

I'm 90% Positive This Was Porn

[2/10 · 20 January 2020]

There is no graphic sex scenes in this movie but through analysis, from a third party of course, this was quite obviously intended to be porn. Maybe not a movie, more than likely a download game with still images, but this was most definitely intended to titillate. Its easy to tell where the time went creating the models. Female models were made to look as attractive as possible. They wear very revealing clothes, have expressive faces, and aren't too unpleasant to look at. At one point the lead girl is running around topless. Then she puts on a shirt that is somehow even more revealing. Male models are ugly and likely stock. Neither was meant to be used in a motion picture. There is an attempt to make the characters expressive, but it was quite honestly misplaced. Their faces never seem to show the right emotion for any given situation and are often the most ridiculous aspect. When they move, its very twitchy and floaty. They aren't a part of the scene so much as they are an overlay that slides into place. Its like there is a constant physics glitch and at any point, the girl sitting in a jungle is going to slide away on her butt. Even the way they move is jank. They almost ragdoll when they run, their arms flailing ridiculously and their legs seem to go into business for themselves whenever they need to do anything else. The voice acting is a whole nother can of worms. The IMDB page lists three actors doing three roles. There are more speaking characters. The number of actors is correct. There is not even n attempt to mask their voices, every character sounds exactly the same as the last one. On top of that, the actors are quite apparently not to actors. Their voices are flat and lack any humanity, almost like they were voiced by a speak and spell. And then there is the pacing. It is unfortunate this isn't porn, at least then the filler would be something interesting. About 60% of this movie is simply exposition shots of the character going somewhere else. Either they are walking, floating, or flying and its never as interesting as it sounds. There is a scene where three characters are flying somewhere. You see the shot of them flying. Then a close up on one of the girls doing something. Then the other girl doing something. And this then cuts too, drum roll... them still flying. Followed by a close up on the first girl in a new position. And then the second girl doing something whule hanging upside down. None of these people have any lines or even names, this is to set up the main character getting a new job.

Hazbin Hotel (2019– )

Almost Professional

[8/10 · 4 November 2019]

I'm going to say it flat out, the series looks amazing. The character designs, setting, and style all work very well together to create an intriguing interpretation of hell. This is especially commendable considering the variety of character designs consisting of humanoids, anthropomorphic creatures, and more traditional demons could just as easily conflict with one another but the art all looks like they belong. Each of them is detailed, but not so much as to distract from the real characters who look especially good. Everything is animated very well and the characters have great body language. Things like Angel Dust showing a brief moment of concern for Charlie before walking away shows great depth for an otherwise one dimensional character and great understanding of how people converse non-verbally. Even when they use low detail models, they still are pleasing to the eye and used humorously. Visually, there is not a single thing that I can really find fault with.

The story isn't as strong but only ever so slightly. The plot is sound with much they can do with it. The pilot even sets it up very well, all the key characters are introduced and their roles establish themselves naturally. The voice actors are tremendous and their work is commendable. The only fault is, there are brief moments where the things they say, they don't quite sound right. It isn't the fault of the actors, it seems to be slight issues with the script. Namely, their choice of phrase. Its kind of like listening to a lot of late 90s nu metal where they over emphasize certain words. Tonally, it sounds disjointed and throws off the delivery for the rest of the line. One character in particular is affected by this near the end of the episode and it doesn't stop being jarring.

For a pilot with no company behind it, this is exceptional work. So much so, that I can't give it the credit I would for other series of such pedigree. And that is a hell of a compliment. This pilot show immense promise and I hope something comes of it.

Dave Chappelle: Sticks & Stones (2019 TV Special)

A Good Man Goes To War

[8/10 · 2 September 2019]

Dave Chappelle is getting older. A lot of the youthful vigor that made his show stand out like it did has left him. But the serpent has not yet lost his venom.

Chappelle is as irreverent as ever, and willing to fight with anyone and everyone. There are no protected classes in this special, he comes out guns blazing at suicidal celebrities, the opioid epidemic, even his own audience gets a good lashing. In a time where the "best" comedian in the country rambles on about his uninteresting family (something about an English father and Mexican mother, I wasn't paying too much attention), Chappelle is cripplingly earnest and cuttingly witty. Though I wouldn't rate this as one of my favorite shows, Lenny Bruce would be proud.

Currently with 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, its the best comedy special Netflix has ever put out.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)

A Jarring But Positive Experience

[8/10 · 11 August 2019]

I have mixed feelings coming out of this movie. Not so much in how I felt about the movie, on the whole I liked it. I just don't know who this movie is meant for. When they are using stories from the source material, the movie is great. Even terrifying. When its not, more often than not its rather vapid. The story wants to be accessible to a younger audience so there isn't much intrigue and much of it is spoon fed so as to not confuse them. But the two parts seem to undermind each other.

The monsters are excellent and handled well. Harold the Scarecrow, the Toe Eater, and especially The Pale Lady are well designed and do bring about a fair amount of dread. The Pale Lady in particular is very true to the illustrations in the book, but seeing her alive and moving is something else. She is truly revolting to look at with her rotund belly and wide, slit mouth. The Jangly Man rounds out the original cast with new content and manages to blend in well. I was unsure if he was in any stories when I saw him, but he really takes over the show once he arrives. While the Pale Lady was slow and cumbersome, he is fast and flexible and really becomes a contender.

The rest of the story doesn't pan out as well in comparison. While the other scenes play like Tales from the Crypt, the main story moves like Goosebumps. Kids aren't going to understand Vietnam and the presidential election of Richard Nixon so they try to keep it simple. Characters make simplified assertions and just go with it because that is what kids would understand. This doesn't lend well for adults however. Its all kind of background noise as you wait for the next monster story.

But therein lies an issue. Who is this for? Other than fans of the books of course, the story is too childish for horror buffs and the scares too atmospheric and hard hitting for kids. Now the book has had this reputation, but it never had scenes of impalement or being absorbed, at least not as graphically. One kid starts turning into a scarecrow, him coughing up straw like he's vomiting blood after being stabbed with a pitchfork was brutal even for me. Had they made this an anthology and cut out the main story it would have been better for adults or if they toned down the book's stories it would be better for kids.

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019)

This Movie is Almost 3 Hours!?

[10/10 · 4 August 2019]

There is no better compliment for a long movie than to not realize it is a long movie. It means that the movie is engaging enough to keep you invested for the entire run time. This is definitely one of those movies. Set prior to the Manson Family murders, Tarantino's new film follows a pretty boy actor whose career is coming to an end and his gopher stunt double and friend. Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) is trying to turn his dying career around, looking for one more breakthrough role, but its just not happening. Like many of the young pretty boy actors of classical Hollywood, he is just not transitioning to the new age of 60s Hollywood. Meanwhile, his only friend during this troubled period, Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt), is contentedly coasting through life. He has no qualms as long as he gets to work for his friend, but his carefree lifestyle runs him afoul of the notorious Manson Family. And then Tarantino happens.

Tarantino knows how to design a world. In his own version of the 1960s, he crafts something that's wonderfully familiar and yet something all his own. His committment to the setting is phenomenal, bringing up even the smallest details that most wouldn't know. For instance, Italian movies of the time often would bring in actors from around the world and had them deliver their lines in their native languages, later redubbing them in post. There are even scenes where nothing is going on, and he just wants to show off his handiwork. Yet they don't drag the movie for an instant.

In spite of the directors reputation, there is little violence in this movie. Two and a half hours of this movie has only occasional instances but the vast majority of it is dedicated to the drama of Dalton's floundering career. And none of it drags. DiCaprio and Pitt are charming and funny and the number of familiar faces that pop up is a stark reminder of talent seemingly forgotten in the modern age. But the gloves have to come off eventually, and Tarantino pulls no punches. That last ten minutes is brutal as only the most violent man in Hollywood could make it.

This movie is a blast.

Hells (2008)

Hectic And Strange

[7/10 · 10 June 2019]

This movie got me interested into looking up the manga and its astoundingly faithful to the source. This is kind of a double edged sword. Only three volumes long, its a hectic and confusing story with very underdeveloped characters. But in spite of that, it is still rather compelling. I never felt bored and ultimately enjoyed the experience.

I loved the art style. Its very scratchy and rough, it looks like something that was supposed to be a rough draft and was meant to be redrawn. At first it was off putting seeing such rough outlines but once I got used to it I started to notice something else. All these characters are really well designed. All the characters are so interesting to look at I often just wanted to pause the movie. Even simpler designs like Wolfie's and less integral characters like Mummyla have a strange allure to them. But no character stands out more than Hellvis himself. The principal of the school is something else all together.

Its not just the characters though, the scenery itself is so stylized that you forget how minimal all the features are. For instance, the classroom is just a bunch of desks in a room, sometimes a void, but it just better serves the characters. It brings them more into focus, making them pop even more as your eye wanders about. But through what should be a clutter of visual stimulation, it subtly draws your attention to Steela by simply giving her something unique. Her desk is the only one that has stitches on it and before anyone says anything, tells you this character in particular is important. When there is scenery, the sketchy style makes hell look so alien to the realm of the living that it expresses what's happening well. Seeing Amagane running to get through the school gates, the dark skies and medieval stone architecture is so jarring that you know that she isn't in Japan anymore.

The movie starts one way but makes a very sharp turn before you know it. School stories aren't uncommon as a character starts to ingratiate themselves with their classmates, resolving their problems and becoming friends, and at first glance that seemed like where the plot was going. Then it starts talking about Cain and Abel and Adam and Eve and all that stuff involving her classmates is thrown out the window for a strange interpretation of a biblical feud. It is disappointing that you don't get to learn more about the classmates, but this turn I can't say is bad per say. Its a roller coaster of stimulation, with a lot of jarring twists and turns that are hard to follow, but this kind of works at least to some degree. It is impossible to guess what is going to happen next and if you are just looking for a ride and don't focus too hard on details, its a fun romp.

Its a very controversial movie. Some people aren't going to like it because of its style and unconventional narrative. But at the same time, I feel some are going to adore it for those same points. Its not really a movie that translates into a review because its so subjective. Its really something you have to watch for yourself to come to any conclusion over.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

Better Than 2014

[8/10 · 3 June 2019]

I am no fan of 2014's Godzilla. I found it to be unworthy of the title, focusing on two other terrible monsters while a block of wood runs around. This still suffers from some of its predecessors flaws, but it does make a good step in the right direction. The characters aren't great. At least most of them. There are two main actors that nailed their roles, a bunch that are entirely unnecessary, and two who never really lived up to their potential. The good are Dr. Chen (Ziyi Zhang) and Dr Serizawa (Ken Watanabe), they both knocked their roles out of the park as Monarch scientists. They fit the plot well, providing much of the exposition and doing so in a way that is believable. In this world of giant monsters and a hollow earth, which is a bit more loaded than they seem to realize, I feel I can trust they know more than me. Now that they are out of the way, every other person on their team is utter garbage and had no business in the film. This goes especially true for Dr Stanton (Bradley Whitford) and Same Coleman (Thomas Middleditch) who play the exact same role. They are the "comic relief," a phrase I must put in quotes as they are successful at neither of those two words. They never have anything intelligent to add other than to throw out hamfisted lines and be awkward. And to make matters worse, this movie doesn't need such a character. Watanabe and Zhang could have carried this movie even further without their dead weight. And then there was the unfulfilling characters. The Russel family weren't bad per say, they played their parts well enough but the story didn't feel like it followed through. Emma (Vera Farmiga) played the unenthusiastic villain well and made her daughter's plight more sympathetic. She is ideologically driven but not so lost as to not see the results of what she has done and feel ashamed so you can still empathize for her. Mark (Kyle Chandler) was equally capable as the movie's protagonist. We are learning along side him but he doesn't come across as useless baggage because he provides vital, unorthodox reasoning to any situation. But there should be some emotional weight in Godzilla movies. A character that commits a sacrifice or whose passing should be an emotional low blow, like Daisuke Serizawa's death in the original movie. They try but fail, instead relying on tired Hollywood tropes instead of doing something better with these characters. Godzilla still needs a slimfast but the main four monsters look great. Mothra is made to look a bit more capable and Rodan, well he never really looked great, but then there is King Ghidorah. He looks like the baddest mother to ever walk the planet. Creating thunderstorms where he stands, hurricanes where he flies, he is a living natural disaster and the greatest threat to everything since Chernobyll. But its even little things about him that make him better, he has personality. Things like the way he glares at people or how his middle head is always picking fights with his left head makes it look like there is much more going on in his head than half the scientists. He is a credit to the special effects team, if only the director had the wherewithal to know where to point the camera in the climactic fight scene. But these are the Japanese monsters, the American originals don't fair all that well. A muto comes back, a spider, a woolly mammoth gorilla hybrid, they don't look so great and probably would have been better off left on the cutting room floor. In all, I have hope for Godzilla vs King Kong. Maybe they are just needing to make baby steps but the groundwork is there. They just need to know how to swing the bat a little better to knock it out of the park.

Glass (2019)

Shyamalan, Stop Making Movies

[8/10 · 29 January 2019]

And get your ass into comics. The man understands superheroes better than any comic book writer out there right now. Tom King is currently writing a DC series of all the DC superheroes going through therapy and Shyamalan one ups him in less time than it takes for people to get angry about Batgirl's butt as she shows the exit wound from when the Joker shot her. Comic book stores are closing at an alarming rate, DC is laying off staff, and Marvel has been forced to strong arm retailers to get their terrible books onto shelves where they rot. And the only thing that people in the business are willing to do is point at manga doing exceptionally well, willfully ignoring their irrelevancy as the Japanese take their job. In such a bleak future for the medium, stories like this would be a saving grace.

Shyamalan gets a bad rep which for the most part he deserves, but the man still has some very bright flashes of talent. He knows his characters, and while the actors do an exceptional job bringing them to life, he still knows how to write them. Mr. Glass (Samuel Jackson) is a genius in intellect and a fundamentalist in spirit. Comics are his scripture and their tropes his law, so while The Horde (James McAvoy) and David Dunn (Bruce Willis) waver, he is the one that remains absolute. The Horde is filled with contradictions, not every personality believes and they're devotion to The Beast can be called into question. As the secrets of The Beast are revealed, that all of his powers can be explained somewhat convincingly, he grows nervous as he loses his flock. And McAvoy deserves special accolades as he plays so many dynamic characters in one role, transitioning through them flawlessly. Dunn was convinced by Mr. Glass of his powers, so he is the most susceptible to Dr. Staple (Sarah Paulson) dissection but has the strength of character to defy it. He doesn't need the assistance of someone else to rebound, the threat that Mr. Glass and The Horde are going to kill a lot of people is enough a call for action for him to bring out his powers and be a hero.

Allusions of grandeur make for a great theme in this movie. Throughout the movie we are reminded of the Osaka Tower, a new skyscraper that has garnered the world's attention. Then its revealed that Mr. Glass plans to destroy that tower as a coming out for superheroes, as he plans it to be the arena for the penultimate battle between Dunn and The Beast. Then they duke it out in the asylum parking lot. This works wonderfully for this kind of movie however because up to this point we have been told they were all deluding themselves. Dunn's ability to see a person's crimes is explained as just his security instincts. He finds The Beast when he runs into Dennis, his childish personality acting unusual and wiping off brick dust from the hideout he was in. The Beast's strength is great but not beyond human limitations, and his prodigious wall climbing explained by Kevin's, the main personality, interest in the sport. While their powers are later proven to be real, the encroachment of the mundane makes the story intriguing.

But then comes the Shyamalan curse, the twist ending. Spoiler, all three are killed by a secret cabal of people trying to keep superheroes a secret to which Dr. Staple is a part of. And that isn't a bad idea in itself. On paper, it fits perfectly within a comic book esthetic. But somewhere between pen and paper, it goes horribly wrong. There is no proper build for the twist nor allusion of such a group, so their introduction has absolutely no impact. The camera zooms in on the cloverleaf tattoo on the SWAT team, and it is completely meaningless as we have no context for the tattoo. Dr. Staple then reveals herself to Dr. Dunn, and the organization is a downtown restaurant and its patrons. There is still some good in this, Mr. Glass manages to see through her their whole plan was really a cover for his true intention, but even then, the payoff is kind of weak. He forwards it to some of the characters to the previous movies who proceed to put it online and prove the existence of superheroes. And not one 'fake and @%!' comment? Has no one in Hollywood been on the internet? And on top of that, it still fails to explain why only three people have such potential. Maybe if we saw some unusual people watching it, people that have some sort of mundane version of a super power, and get inspired, the ending would have more impact.

This movie's ending is a serious flaw, as Red Letter Media's Mike put it, "Its good until it isn't," but the prior material is an interesting dissection of what makes a great American superhero comic. It shows that Shyamalan understands what a superhero is and its a shame that he doesn't do more with it. If there is anyone that can save the American comic market, its him.

Dragon Ball Super: Broly (2018)

Not For Beginners

[9/10 · 20 January 2019]

I cannot stress this enough, this is not a good introduction into the Dragonball series. If you have not watched the series, do not watch this movie. It will simply make no sense and you will get absolutely nothing out of it. Now that out of the way, this is definitely one of the best Dragonball movies, if not the best.

To really see what the movie does well, its important to understand what its predecessors do wrong. They treat the movie like its own story arch, with a big bad and his minions scheming for the dragonballs, tree of life, a can of Coke or whatever, and its up to the heroes to come together and curb stomp them all in short, unimpressive fights. After laying out Toriyama's shopping list disguised as antagonists, the big bad readies to fight them to close out the last ten minutes and gets eliminated by some sort of plot device like Gohan's dormant power, a Hail Mary energy blast, or whistling. There is little catharsis and the villains are tossed in the trash never to be heard from again. Except for Broly. The hulking behemoth gets center stage in this movie, after exploring his character he is thrown headlong into a brutal slobber knocker that carries the movie further than any cockamamie scheme and cannon fodder ever could. The fight itself is masterfully paced, Broly has been fighting for training wheels all his life and finally meeting someone that can match him he just keeps improving until he can match the overpowered heroes. As they escalate, so does he until he becomes an unstoppable monster devoid of reason and mercy. It in itself tells an interesting story that can't be expressed in words. Finally, Broly is the main event threat that he is designed to be.

This leads us back to another massive improvement, in spite of the popularity of the character, Broly's prior appearances aren't good. In fact, the chatracter's backstory has been downright stupid. In his first outing, his personal driving force was his disdain for baby Goku's crying when they were in the nursery. Its a postnatal grudge match, as ridiculous as that sounds. Sure there is the grudge his father has for Vegeta and the Saiyan race but most of it is Goku's crying. This is followed up with his clone Bio-Broly who melts pretty much instantly and can't even speak. To fix the character with one of the worst backstories the movies had ever contrived, they focused on what worked. Broly has never interacted with any of the main cast, he hasn't interacted with anyone but his father since before the series starts. Stranded together, the two have done nothing but refine him into a killing machine to reek revenge upon the Saiyan race that scorned them. He was a monster made, living a childhood devoid of kindness or care, the only creature he can endear himself to is a massive carnivorous beast and even that is taken from him by his tyrannical father. When he is found and brought before Frieza, he is seen as an impressive tool to avenge his defeat at the hands of Goku but proves too powerful for the alien tyrant to control. There is nothing superfluous about him, he is a force of nature that threatens the earth.

With such a direct plot, its the fight that everyone paid to see and it gives everything in spades. The animation is crisp as it transitions into CGI and everything has a good sense of weight. Goku getting slammed alas Loki in the Avengers doesn't look like he is made of feathers, Broly slings him around like a bag of hammers while the heroes body goes ragdoll. There are plenty of zippy movements that lead into a very visually appealing scene where they break time and space with their fighting only to smash their way back. They even manage to work in some funny comedy as Goku and Vegeta rope Frieza into the fight. The only real complaint is how the initial fight with Vegeta ends, Goku simply steps in and Vegeta doesn't complain. It lacks any decisive winner and transitions poorly.

Again, if you are a fan of the series this is a must see, but if not know that it does not explain anything. If anything I said doesn't make sense its only a fraction of the show specific terms that they will not define. There are flashbacks to scenes from the series that well have no context for those who have not seen them and characters who get no introduction at all. This is specifically for the fans

Bird Box (2018)

Lawless Horror Movies Are Never Good

[3/10 · 17 January 2019]

They got a very good cast, an award winning director, and well received source material to build off of. There is a lot going for this movie going in, but unfortunately it loses something in the translation. The script is atrocious. Everything is done to the best of everyone's ability, its just that it isn't that good.

The discourse between characters is abhorrent and I can't blame Sandra Bullock or John Malkovich. They deliver their lines very well, its just that what they say is often head scratchingly stupid. For example, Greg (BD Wong) wants to try to see the creatures through his security camera, which is an acceptable line of thinking. It sets the precedent that you don't need direct line of sight for the monster to effect you. But its how he tries to explain his plan, trying to blind the audience with an overly sciency, not scientific, explanation about waves and heat distortion that hearing aloud makes his plan even less convincing. Then he looks at it through a regular camera and kills himself because that couldn't have been a stupider idea. This issue comes up constantly, nothing sounds right. Malorie (Sandra Bullock) starts talking to her sister about going out for drinks while pregnant after her ultrasound in front of her doctor, to which the doctor replies with a mildly miffed equivalent to "I'll pretend I didn't hear that." Tom (Trevante Rhodes) is written like a 80s cartoon character, he is perfect in every way and devoid of any reasoning. He is ready to help anyone without so much as a thought to self preservation and does so pretty much of his own accord. Douglas (John Malkovitch) gets it pretty bad, he is just engrossed with all the negative traits Tom lacks and painted to be the jerk of the group in spite of an impressive track record on being right. This culminates in the "Make the apocalypse great again" which is supposed to remind everyone that he is the callous jerk as everyone rolls their eyes at him, but its just so out of left field that it is blatant why it was written in. Its not a condemnation of him, they've already done that the entire movie, its an insult towards half the movie's potential audience. The sudden flash of elitism wouldn't have been half as insulting had the movie been written more intelligently, its like being called an idiot by a D student.

The monsters themselves have no rhyme or reason. There is never an explanation of what they are or where they are from. This isn't in itself a negative as left to the audience's imagination they can probably conceive of something better than the writer could have imagined. What isn't acceptable is that there is no explanation of what they can do. They give a bare minimum explanation that the sight of it will cause madness or suicidal depression, but that's it. Everything else is hypothesized but is then conflicted with new evidence. At first, the monster is thought unable to interact with the real world, and thereby can't open doors, but then shakes a car and jostles leaves. It has the ability to speak at the end, but it leaves a question as to why it doesn't do so early on from behind the door. There is nothing that explains why one person becomes suicidal and another crazy but infers at the end that there is a way to differentiate them from normal people through their eyes. This is never explained how nor the validity tested. So in the end, things happen and there is no explanation. You just got Happening-ed.

The worst is yet to come however as it seems they ran out of material and just shoestring whatever they had together in convenience and blatant plot armor for the final act. The plot is told through flashbacks that pointed out who wasn't going to make it like a red shirt on Star Trek, as the three survivors of the group, Malorie and the two children, raft down a river to sanctuary. Then come the rapids. The audience is aware that they are the looming threat by this point and we were left at a cliffhanger as one of them is going to have to navigate. Instead of what you expect to happen, they decide to go blind and immediately capsize. Making it to shore, Malorie must quickly find the kids and its far more anticlimactic than this sentence would lead you to believe. Still blindfolded she finds them in less than a minute and they continue through the woods as they rush to bring it all home. They don't care anymore, they open a can of cheap drama, and dump you in an unsatisfying ending where nothing is accomplished. This was the hook, the big event they were building up to, and its pretty much yada yada-ed. And to make it worse, the book handled it better by simply having Malorie take off her blindfold.

This movie would not have done well had it gone to theaters, had it been anywhere but Netflix it would have bombed. It tries to emulate A Quiet Place but somehow ends up feeling more like The Happening. It has short glimmers of hope and the cast did what they could, but the writing was just not there for them and they are left running from the wind.

Head (I) (2015)

Wow. This Sucks.

[1/10 · 30 September 2018]

I'm hard pressed to explain how this sucks, everything is just another shade of awful. I can only wonder if there was even a script for this, all the dialogue feels like it was adlibbed and just said to fill space in the scene. Nothing comes across as remotely funny, it just kills time for the camera to cut away to the next lazily done scene. The plot is cliche, the voice acting a sin, I struggle to find anything positive to say. It just, sucks.

The House of Seven Corpses (1974)

Acting Legend John Carradine Reads a Book

[6/10 · 27 May 2018]

Its hard to describe just how fascinating this movie is. Its a horror movie that has the elements of a horror movie, and somehow interspersed them between the entirety of the movie. All while shooting a movie that absolutely makes no sense. Its hard not to spoil this movie, its just so entertaining to look at every scene and wonder how none of it makes any sense.

The characters. I almost felt that this was wasted potential, having the horror icon Carradine not being in any way menacing, but then John Ireland swoops in like a superhero. There is not a single scene that the man fails to deliver, every line out of his mouth is a beacon of what would otherwise be unbearable monotony. Whether its directing his actors, "Your possessed, not having an orgasm!" or just being a crotchety codger, the man is a riot to watch. But nothing compares to the big twist at the end. His assistant tried to murder him by gently pushing him into an open grave, to which he responds with, mild irritation. the sheer lack of any threat, even after David reveals his evil intent and tries to push him again, perfectly mirrors the rest of the movie. The rest of the cast is forgettable, it is all about Ireland in this movie.

The plot, much like the plot of the movie they are shooting, makes equally no sense. A film crew is shooting on location at an old mansion where seven murders transpired about said murders. The movie starts with a random scene where Faith Domergues character reenacts the suicide of the family member her character is portraying. This is important as the final scene they shoot sees her murdered. The movie tries to play off the the shared animosity between everyone involved in the movie, from the assistant dating the young actress, Ireland riing the cast and crew hard, and Carradine not really doing anything. Only, it doesn't really matter. None of this matters. After an hour of infighting, a zombie starts bumping everyone off in the last thirty minutes. David is revealed to be a part of the Bealy family, and also dead, and after being throne into his own grave, he comes back as a second zombie. This is not all that important either, his success as a zombie is on par with trying to push Ireland. The first zombie however, manages to kill everyone while moving with all the speed of a tectonic plate. You could almost feel his despair as he comes to his biggest weakness. A modest flight of stairs. Probably the best scene not focusing on Ireland is when Domergues discovers the body of her dead cat in the middle of a field during a shoot that apparently no one took notice to when they set up the shot. Nothing matters, the only take away is that Carradine has a big scene of reading a book, getting distracted, and getting back to his reading.

I really can't believe how much fun I had watching this movie. I pent a good three minutes trying to figure out whether a black spot on a mirror was a problem with the remastering or something that wasn't supposed to be seen in the final print. I marveled at the compete inanity of the meta narrative, where Carradine explained the fates of each family member only for most of t to be forgotten by the end of the movie and only three of them being reenacted by the ghoul. This is a good movie to grab a pint, shut your head off and laugh at the complete inanity of life.

A Quiet Place (2018)

Don't Think About It

[9/10 · 23 April 2018]

If the creature's only sense is acute hearing, wouldn't it be rather easy to elude them? Every time they attack, just throw a distraction in the opposite direction. If they kill everything that makes a noise, why is there so much ambient noise? Wouldn't they tear through the native fauna in an instant? Wouldn't the weight of the corn kernels on top form a more solid surface, depriving you the ability to swim through it like Scrooge McDuck's rural equivalent? The answer to these questions is simple. Don't think about it. A Quiet Place is a great movie, everything it does it does masterfully, don't sweat the details.

The big draw here is sound. This movie knows how to work the audience, and does it by denying you of hearing. There is so little dialogue, so many scenes with little more than ambient sound, and times where they deprive you even of that, it sets an impeccable atmosphere of distress and hopelessness. While there are still signs of life, and they aren't the last survivors on earth, but it shows that they are in dire straights. There is nothing to keep the monsters at bay, closing a door might as well be sealing your own coffin, their only hope is to avoid drawing their attention. As such, they go to such great lengths to avoid making any sound like walking on sand and avoiding any food that crinkles like bags of chips. But then they took it a step further and use sound to convey a key plot point, the sister is deaf. The father works on an ear piece but there is no explanation as to what it is until the daughter puts it on, and the sound just stops. Its such a compelling way to convey her affliction, I cannot stress that scene enough.

The monsters, I found, to be a little lacking. In spite their seemingly glowing weakness, they just came off as too overpowered. They are faster than any human, strong enough to tar through steel, and their design looks formidable, but they aren't as memorable as something like the xenomorphs or the predator. There is just so little flair to them, which is a shame as they are so frequently visible. The scenes where they are out of focus are fine but when you do get a good look at them, they look like they were ripped from something else, like a zerg prototype from Starcraft or some bug that never made it into Stormship Troopers. But they do their job at least, and the scene where it exposes what I can only describe as its ear were interesting enough.

Ultimately, this is the easiest recommendation I could make this year. This is a great horror movie that just requires the Gremlins treatment. Don't worry about the details, the obvious audience cues or the negative critiques by some overly political nut jobs, and just let yourself be swept away in the bleak atmosphere and compelling family drama.

Fullmetal Alchemist (2017)

Offputting on a Few Levels

[4/10 · 26 March 2018]

The movie feels cheap, there is no other way to describe it. It has polish, it looks like an actual movie that they wanted to make look good, but it seems like they cut some corners that they really ought not have. Coupled with adapting a story that may be too long with too many characters and too many subplots, the outcome is a jumbled mess that may be worth a single curiosity viewing and then promptly forgotten.

The CGI throws up a lot of red flags for this movie. While I can't fault the actual models, Alfonse looks pretty true to form, there is something about them that consistently feels off. Something that keeps them from meshing in with the world around them. That thing is textures, there are too many flat textures that draw attention away from what looks good. While I can't fault the meta sheen of Alfonse's armor, the cloth around his waste sticks out like a sore thumb. There is no weave or detail, its a sheet of white hanging over his nethers. It was this reason I'd rather they just rigged a cheaper suit of armor for the actor and special effected him out. Gluttony is much the same way, a character that loses much of his usage because of Japanese distaste towards desecration, they make the big reveal of his true power. And it looks terrible. His chest opens up to reveal long teethe like appendages and the eye of truth in the abyss that makes up his insides, but again completely devoid of texture. Coupled by the characters immobility, he waddles like a penguin with all the speed of a tectonic plate, it kills any semblance of threat that he imposes. The worst offender however is the homonculus horde. They move like zombies but are all pure white to the extent that they could be used as paint swatches with a big goofy eyeball.

There are a couple of exceptions, Tucker's chimera looks pretty good as does Lust's fingers, but the failures bring something that the movie doesn't intend. They make it feel like a cartoon. Its like watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but while n that movie the interaction between live action and cartoon is intentional, here it does not. They want the audience to feel that these things are real, that the laws that govern this world apply to them just as much as they do Edward and Winry, but one look at them and the audience knows they are not. This in tun kills the serious nature of their interactions and ultimately reshapes the movie into something it never intended to be.

The source also does not translate as well because there is simply too much of it. Fullmetal Alchemist has a ton of characters, lore, and backstories that just can't be fit into the time constraints of a two hour move and as such a ton of key characters are omitted. The problem then arises in how to fill in for them. While Lieutenant Armstrong may not have been as integral a character in the early parts of the series, he provided some much needed comic relief and is a character fans would surely miss. But then there is Rose, a member of a cult that played an integral role in defining Edward early on. A character just starting down the same path as the hero, it is his interaction with her that really fleshes him out as a character. Her omission greatly harms his development as they are left finding a less natural work around for it.

Ultimately, the movie just isn't good. Its not a complete train wreck nor does it drive any real animosity against it, it falls in the realm of mediocre movies that no one will ever bother to remember existed. But with all its technical flaws, the one thing I can take out of this movie is the mop they slapped on Ryosuke Yamada's head. To call that natural looking hair is truly the most upsetting thing to come out of this movie.

Annihilation (I) (2018)

Unfortunately Destined to be a Cult Classic

[8/10 · 11 March 2018]

Two year after Sony and Paul Feig's controversial and disastrous marketing campaign, Paramount releases another movie with an all female cast, and it does as well as one would expect in a poisoned well. And that is a shame. Annihilation is a very well acted and intelligent scifi horror movie that deserved far more attention that it received.

The writing in this movie for the most part is very good. Though they aren't given too much time to themselves, Lena's squad has enough depth to make them each feel they belong in the story and Lena is a fascinating character. Everything in the Shimmer, the dome of light that swallowed up a small town after an interstellar object fell on the outskirts of it, plays out naturally through her interactions with them. Everyone has a reason for the way they are, whether it be Dr Ventress listless speaking tone or Thorenson's tendency for self harm, and why they are on their path of self destruction. They are aware they are likely to die, or worse, end up like Lena's husband, Cain, but are adamant o undergo their mission, at least until they see what may become of them. There are some questionable moments of dialogue, at one point Shepard asks where Lena learned to shoot after they manage to kill a mutant alligator, which one would think they would have been aware of when they gave her an M16 when they sent her in, but they are rare and far between. Where the writing did fail completely was the framing scenes. A horror movie works by withholding information, the most important being what happened to them. This movie tells who the red shirts are immediately, telling the audience who lives and who dies. It hurts the suspense of a mutant bear attacking hem in the dark when you know who it takes. Furthermore, it serves more as exposition, taking you out of the story to tell you what you probably could have figured out if you paid an ounce of attention.

The body horror is excellent, what the Shimmer does to the flora, fauna, and the squad is sometimes beautiful, more often horrifying, but always engaging. Plants that grow in the shape of humans and bears that can mimic their victims, there is so much to see that its hard to get bored, but its the changes they start feeling that steals the show. Scenes like a soldiers guts writhing in his stomach like a snake and his corpse becoming a giant fungal splatter on the wall drives home that even if they make it out, they aren't going to be the same again. The fear of becoming something other than human is ever present, especially when you see the horrors it can create.

Was the movie hurt by its cast? No, an all female cast isn't the cause. It appears Paramount's lack of faith in the project doomed it. Its poor performance with test audiences ensured it would never get a limited foreign market release and put little effort in getting its name out there like they did Arrival.

Death Wish (2018)

Death Wish 1, 2, and 3 in One Movie

[8/10 · 5 March 2018]

Bronson's Death Wish is a unique action movie. In spite the genre, its plodding, slow and deliberate, which gives Kersey a sense of intelligence. He does not just shoot up every thug he goes, he draws them to him by making himself look as weak and unassuming as possible. As the series continued and devolved into camp, this calculating trait was lost for more wonton destruction. Willis's Kersey fails to recapture that trait, borrowing more from the latter movies in its retelling of the first. This isn't necessarily bad, I particularly liked Death Wish 3, and makes for a fun 80s style, hyper violent action movie.

The best way to describe this movie is a really good wrestling show, it is at its best when it makes the audience pop. And it does a good job at giving them a reason to, even the kills from the trailers feel fresh thanks greatly to Roth's love of the color red. The gore is refreshing among the myriad of superhero movies that have taken over the action genre and provide a great feeling of catharsis. The villains may be under developed characters but this works to the movies advantage. The audience is given just enough about them to know that this is their just deserts.

Some of my criticisms however are the licensed music and some of the disconnect from reality. Its rather generic, so generic so that it is jarring. I like ACDC as much as the next man but there is no denying that it they are severely overplayed in this day and age. It has reached the point that I would prefer to hear another forgettable original score made to underscore Kersey teaching himself how to use a gun than the attention grabbing blare of a signed band. Other than that, pop culture gripe, there are other little things that proved a detriment. Things like the radio hosts were a nice touch but when they try to work in memes, they are playing with fire. The macros they post are some of the cringiest and are clearly written by professional writers. They lack the bite of an actual internet meme. While it doesn't sound like much, for something that's supposed to ground the movie it comes off as out of touch. Lastly, it really lacks understanding of guns. They make it look like getting a gun is easier than it is, depicting background checks as a short three day inconveniences and that you can get a full auto gun in a day over the counter, all the while taking place in the city with the strictest gun laws in the US. While I wouldn't gripe about this normally, its the fact that the movie at one point begins to correct this but then actively chooses not to.

Overall, its a fun movie to see with your friends or to get your girl to cling to your shoulder when things pop off. If you are going in expecting a treatise on what drives crime in Chicago, you really won't find any enjoyment. But lets face it, f you really need your movies to give a civics lesson, you're already accustomed to that.

Who Killed Captain Alex? (2010)

Hollywood Can Learn a Lot from Uganda

[10/10 · 15 January 2018]

Specifically, how to shoot action scenes. Seriously, why do we have to be three cuts for every punch to make Liam Neason a credible action star?

This movie is entertainment in its purest form. For a movie never intended to leave the slum of Kampala, there was such care put into it. Cheap green screen effects and an excitable VJ just add to the charm of a generally nonsensical action movie. The dialogue doesn't particularly matter, there are swaths where it just cuts out so VJ Emmie can deliver quips about cannibalism, but still is entertaining enough to make you want to listen. When was the last time you heard someone use the insult diarrhea squirt in a movie? The plot is still easy to follow none the less. The action scenes are what really make the movie howeer, an while the choreography is very rough, the actual technique is there. Every move looks natural and have weight when they look like the connect. They whif now and then but for the lack of training and sometimes general preparation, it isn't as bad as it should be. VJ Emmie also grows on you very quickly. At times he is just saying things to fill in t dead air, wih such lines as "Action movie!" and "Supa kicka!," but his comedic timing is impeccable and you grow to miss him when he is gone. Its a great movie to watch with friends or over a stream and at such a reasonable price of $0, its hard to argue against watching it.

The Greatest Showman (2017)

A Visual Treat but Narratively Weak

[7/10 · 2 January 2018]

PT Barnum is the greatest carny to have ever lived. This is the undeniable truth every Connecticut resident should have drilled into them from cradle to the grave. This film, it doesn't seem to capture his greatness, his autobiography makes a far more interesting tale, but it at least provides for an interesting diversion. The music is good and the choreography is excellent, the story while watered down at least flows well so as to keep your interest. Its just that instead of the greatest showman they present an unnecessarily family friendly imitation.

This needs repeating, the choreography is top notch. There is so much going on in every song and dance it can't all be caught in a single viewing. Their timing is perfect, the bar scene where shots are being slid, caught, and downed is so fluid its like watching the waves crashing into the shore. Everything is perfectly natural, like going to an actual Barnum & Bailey show (RIP). That is until they bring in the animals. Its hard to believe that they couldn't find any animal trainers for this movie, I know quite a few that could use the work, but the CGI is an abomination. Tom Thumb riding the horse looks like hot garbage, the elephants in the musical number look faker than if it was a man in a mask,. and the horses in the final number... they are a three frame gif. Considering everything else they had shown throughout the film, its just unacceptable.

The writing is the weakest point of the movie, there is no conflict. Disregarding how it strayed from the actual life of PT Barnum, the caricature they give has no real trouble. He goes from being laid off when his employer goes belly up to success in half of the first act. He goes from shunned by high society to well respectable impressario in two scenes. He loses everything an rebuilds in one scene. Everything he does is trivialized by his immediate success so soon afterward to such a degree that nothing seems to matter. And the way they solve these problems are infuriating. A struggling business venture solved by his daughter with one line as he tucks her in the very next scene after the only person he could sell tickets to was his family. There is no build, the answer is given to him plain as day by a literal plot device. Its impossible to write a review with spoilers, there is absolutely nothing here to spoil.

The major flaw with Barnum is simply this, he has no flaws. This could be said somewhat about the real man, he was an otherwise upright man who supported emancipation, charity, and family friendly entertainment, but to his core he was a carny. His early career was rife with trickery, from the Feejee Mermaid to exit signs written in other languages so that visitors had to pay to get back in. He was a great talker never to be left outside arm's reach. The film never goes into that. They say he is the King of Humbuggery, but he does little to warrant the title. In fact, they even go to great lengths to over up his exploits. Tom Thumb is introduced at 25, a dwarf hidden away by his mother. He was adopted by the real Barnum at 4 and started performing at 5. It gets to the point that the only real connection between the two is a name and a gift of gab.

I don't think this is a terrible movie. Reading the 11 questions from EW and some of the professional reviews really makes it sound worse than it is. Its just a lacking movie. A movie about the man who watered down his stage play of Uncle Tom's Cabin to make it family friendly, its only fitting they do the same to him. I just have to question why they chose to put a trailer for The Commuter with a scene of a man being pushed in front of a bus before it. Right after the Gnome sequel too. In fact, I question why most of the trailers were included when only one seemed age appropriate.