Simon_Cooper-1 Reviews

Old (2021)

Nothing in this film is going to improve your day

[3/10 · 18 December 2022]

I'm not quite sure I ever understand anything this man does. This film starts off like many Hollywood films. People with funny and suspicious accents are disarmingly nice and then things start to go horribly wrong for all of the foreigners that are taken to a certain beach. Then whole thing then temporarily becomes a sort of study of family life throughout one's time on Earth when suddenly it stops being that and becomes a sort of mystery thriller. Neither film is that captivating or satisfying as they do not really connect. It is a very miserable affair and it feels sort of like a 70s flick such as Logan's Run or something like that. It is just not special enough to sit through and feels a bit lost.

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

The ultimate questions...

[8/10 · 28 November 2022]

The Matrix was always more than a story. It was a question to be asked by everyone that saw it. What is your reality? What do you really know of yourself. What are you capable of and are you indoctrinated to be sure you will never achieve it? That is exactly what this is, a set of questions. What have you become? What happened to what you believe? Where are you now? Is there any point going any further down that line? This film is a very complex concept in that it resurrects the idea that the viewer is in a dreamworld and reinforces that idea by bring Neo and Trinity into that dreamworld. It is a real effort to get the original audience to re-examine themselves once more. It is a reminder that there is still a way out.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

This Guy is the real deal

[10/10 · 6 November 2022]

Spectacular. Mesmerising. Stupefying blockbuster masterclass. So much is here. Whenever you take on a project of this size you need to make sure you leave nothing to ruin the party. That is what a blockbuster director has to juggle with. So many actors, so many egos, so many demands. Here there is nothing other than everyone at the height of their game. The CG is superb and very believable. The smaller roles are played with so much fervour. As for Mark Strong, he is brilliant and works with all of the incredible imagery thrown in to his scenes so well. The idea of adopting Holmes' deduction as a sort of superpower is exactly what was needed to bring in the younger generation, and I am sure this is a character they will not soon forget. Awesome Mr. Ritchie. Well done.

Avatar (2009)

What is more important? Floating mountains or unobtainium?

[1/10 · 24 October 2022]

The bad guys missed a trick here. They spent the whole time killing the Smurfs using rotating wing aircraft with powered propellers and never looked into why the mountains float. I'm sure that their leaders would've paid more for the science of those floating mountains than any amount of fuel as it would alleviate the need for said fuel in the first place.

The Smurfs could've pointed this out also, but they never even thought of it.

Anyway the Canadian/American nations making films about the Canadian/American people wiping out the locals all seems a little ironic. Especially the ending they choose.

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)

Poor ingredients make for a dish best served at Casey Jones

[4/10 · 27 June 2022]

=There is quite a lot of the original cast showing up for this lacklustre spin off of Andrew Davis' excellent Under Seige. But without Elena Elenak and the rest of the cast to make this work, the film doesn't quite hang together. Rather like Die Hard II the plot is pretty absurd that this all just happens again, and the editing and special effects do not quite make up for the lack of intelligence this film is cottoned together with. No Battleship, no party, no subs, no majesty. There are also a lot of characters thrown in for no good reason at all. Under achievers Under Seige.

The Matrix (1999)

Not so good if you've never contemplated your own creation of your own reality

[10/10 · 20 June 2022]

This film will repel some people. If you have never recognised that reality is created by you, as an action, then it will repel you. If you have never conceded that you are responsible for your mood, your status and your life, then it will repel you. If you have never considered that everything you think is a construct, then you will not have a ten star experience. In other words, it is not for everybody. The idea that a simple film shot in a prison based on a short story is comparable to a film that most people would just refer to as 'impossible' is one that I struggle with. I do not struggle with the Martrix though. It is one of the very greatest films ever produced.

The Big Picture (2010)

A real mind blower

[10/10 · 15 June 2022]

If you are a fan of the book there are obviously a great deal of glaring differences, but this film does not disappoint if you can give it a chance. Obviously it is a European tale and the countries and languages are completely different to the original film. It is also a different story in terms of the characters. This is a film about a man who has recoiled from the life he wanted, but who is then forced into free fall. His skills learned through his unwanted life see him through, and he finds himself a new purpose and a new role in the world. I won't say any more than that as I see no point in spoiling a film by writing a newspaper-style plot summary. The ending is what many people don't like, but this is not a film of the book, it is a film inspired by the book. Let it be what it is.

Richard Hammond's Brain Reaction (2022– )

Not good at all

[1/10 · 13 June 2022]

Not sure how this happened but no one seems to have noticed this is just not good enough to be broadcast. No one is at ease behind these desks as there is no real professional to carry it along. Victoria and Johnny are very excellent people but there is no filling in this sandwich.

Deadly Blessing (1981)

Sharon Stone and Meren Jensen, get the blu-ray!

[8/10 · 7 April 2022]

I do not really have much to say bout this as I rarely watch it with the volume up, and so I cannot really tell you what happens, I do not even hear the tone of their voices. But as a pleasant day catching the occasional glimpse of some of the most beautiful girls of the twentieth century, it is quite good if you are doing a jigsaw or crossword.

In the Earth (2021)

As far as I could make out...

[4/10 · 15 March 2022]

This weird film is somehow suggesting that the COVID-19 episode was an illusion created in order to inject us all with some sort of mind control. The two main characters, a doctor and a ranger/guide, head into the woods where they are robbed of their shoes. Continuing on foot, the man is severely injured and needs a crutch. As they stumble on, they are accosted and misled and tricked by someone pretending to help using a very ancient methods. This person then tries to kill them to their own ends, allegedly as a way to protect the forest. In the process he crudely implants symbols into their bodies. Is this in reference to the Georgia Guidestones and their insistence that a population decrease will enable the human race to survive? Then another person rescues assists them with incredibly modern methods, almost crazy sounding. I think this represents RMA vaccine technology. At each juncture, escaping the woods seems more daunting and more impossible, just as the intensification of the COVID-19 lockdown and endless vaccines. They then try to escape by tying a rope to the ranger who tries to walk though all of the misinformation, who appears to have an epiphany that it is all fake, perhaps even the disease as well as the misinformation?? They then discover that both the deceptive parties are working in unison using ancient and modern ideas to confuse everyone and are taken to a big stone in the woods that both parties worship for ostensibly different reasons. Finally, they kill one of the captors but the other one manages to perform some sort of conversion upon the ranger whose mind and opinion appear changed, she falls to the ground in awe of her achievements. The ranger then offers to lead her partner out of the woods, but in a voice that is not her own.

Personal Shopper (2016)

Really nice delve into mystery and people and cinema

[9/10 · 25 January 2022]

This is a lot of fun and has lots of excellent filmmaking along with it. It is a ghost story of sorts and a murder mystery of sorts and a character driven film, so if you need the boundaries of a genre then perhaps leave this one be. If you can just enjoy whatever is thrown at you for what it is, or may be, then give it a try.

The Living Daylights (1987)

Just ****ing awesome

[10/10 · 20 December 2021]

I can't help you understand this, you're either in or you're out. Barry soundtrack, Aston Martin, cold war and the Middle East. Perhaps go and have a overpriced coffee instead if you prefer don't die the day before yesterday.

The Next Three Days (2010)

This is sort of a remake so I'll give it 9

[9/10 · 29 August 2021]

This is a real edge of your seat ride.

One of those films that comes out of nowhere like Inside Man or Runaway Jury that mean you walk out of the cinema completely blown away. So tense and the characters are brought so close to us in the audience, that the ending is a heart-pounding, edge of your seat ride. A really gripping film for any parent or spouse or lover of anyone.

Red Dwarf: Marooned (1989) Season 3, Episode 2

A character study of astronomical hilarity

[10/10 · 6 August 2021]

There is not much you can say to someone who did not grow up with this, either when it was released, or inherited from older siblings or your parents. It is without doubt one of the greatest comedy character pairings (Rimmer and Lister) ever to reach the television screen and followed in the footsteps of Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. The absurdity of each of their outlooks come together in 'Marooned' when they are lost and alone with only each other for company. The underhandedness of each is insurmountable and the most dastardly trickery is employed even in the face of certain death. The cast and writers are on top comedy form for series three and although it may lack some of the isolation woven into the previous two series, it makes up for it with pure comedy power. Not to be missed by anyone who grew up in a truly dysfunctional family.

Detective Montalbano (1999–2021)

Molto Buono!

[10/10 · 22 April 2021]

Mmm, yes. It really is very good, and I'm not just talking about the pasta. There is something truly awesome about the original series, even though the actor differs from the books in almost every aspect of his appearance. They have boldly captured the essence of the character and just gone ahead and chosen the right actor for the job, as one should. The chemistry of the trio of Augello, Fazio and the inspector make for a delicious mix of bawdy honour, hilarious comic intercourse and intelligent, obvious respect. The setting is, of course, impossibly beautiful, but there is no fear in showing the rougher side of Sicily and they do. What sets this show apart from every other one in it's wake (and there are many) is the fabulous depth of mystery and disillusion of the audience during each case. Everything just works and is believable even in its most comic and devastating moments. A proper Italian saga.

The Young Montalbano (2012– )

Oh dear

[1/10 · 22 April 2021]

This may be a good show, maybe even a great show, but to just take all the same characters and make them young and pander to the expectations of the audience in this rather sickly way just doesn't seems like the Italian thing to do..

Episode 50 (2011)

Science explained in terms of paranormal investigation.

[1/10 · 15 November 2020]

This programme or whatever it is, spreads misinformation and ignorance effectively. The characters are designed to be trustable to Americans of all ethnic origin and they speak assuredly and without hesitation, which would be highly believable if you were not equipped with knowledge that allowed you to see through their mumbo-jumbo It is a bit like an imaginary disease. The spread of the fear and lies is what does the damage, rather than any spread of virus or germs, behaviour is changed already.

Science does not specify that nothing exists beyond nature, it doesn ot even necessarily accept that 'nature' is a term that adequately describes any part of the human experience. This film is not going to help you relax, find courage or compassion, and so you have to wonder who makes it and why they persist with such rubbish.

Life (I) (2017)

Good film, terrible research, but does that really matter, mmm, not sure.

[7/10 · 26 July 2020]

Should it really matter that none of the reality of being in space comes across in this movie? There are solid film stars making this cast a nice place to hang out. There is the occasional gorgeous Scandinavian girl being a bit portentous. There is a fabulously scary monster that isn't based on loud noises and ugly faces. Sounds pretty good, no? But even a normal idiot like myself understands that space isn't a cakewalk. You don't get out of a spaceship without explosively decompressing everyone or through an air lock. Sprinkler/halide systems do not connect to the outside, and there is no way to go from an interior sealed system to an exterior sealed system, period! These are very simple facts that any self respecting space-interested nine year old knows instantly. So why can't an army of these Hollywood people sort out the script? There would have been no impact on drama just to change a few points. I thought these cinema people were supposed to be educated and intelligent.

The answer to the opening question is, it is not vital to get everything right, but there are tolerances here. I am not a scientific person, but I do understand how a submarine works. I also expect people teaching the young to exercise responsibility in these matters, so as to aid education. This isn't star wars, this is supposed to be a US satellite above the Earth in LEO (Low Earth Orbit) representing the human race in space. What we are left with is a good scary film with great efforts from every artistic person involved, let down by shoddy research and a few stupid mistakes for which there is no excuse with the amount of resource these films swallow up. WTF is going on, are you doing this on purpose to stupify everyone?

All About Lily Chou-Chou (2001)

Not for everybody

[10/10 · 10 May 2006]

I can easily see this film as causing many viewers a lot of frustration as the facts and events are not always easy to follow but, personally, I found it to be wildly vivid and fantastically telling piece for which I felt a lot of personal empathy; the attitudes to school and education by the school children (who are the stars of the film) particularly. The soundtrack is often borrowed from Claude Debussy whom Lily Chou Chou (the popular music star by whom the star is obsessed) was heavily influenced by. There are sequences in this film I found to be completely hypnotic and I think that a good rule of thumb for whether you will enjoy it or not would be whether you are completely absorbed by the opening scenes in the field or whether you just wonder what the hell is going on.

The Fifth Element (1997)

As a piece

[10/10 · 22 April 2006]

Fifth Element is an enormous film even to watch. The scale of vision with which it has been written, directed and produced has quite literally got to be seen to be believed. Besson's skill at picking the actors and dressing them up in a certain way to change the impact of their role is probably second to none and so many sequences in this movie are real ground breaking artistic and conceptual amalgamations that work on many levels. Comedy, passion and intelligence are rife in this film at every step, with the chemistry of leeloo and korbin as well as cornelius, rhuby and zorg with some wonderfully edited scenes to throw them all together. Watch out for schematic and visual ideas that went on to be a big part of 'the matrix' films.