mr_facehead Reviews

Open Water (2003)

Occasionally tense but some of it reminded me of sixth form college

[5/10 · 7 March 2024]

When I started watching it I literally had to look up if I was seeing the correct film that grossed over $50M. It doesn't look like it did, but it did.

The production value is poor, but that's forgivable. It's the editing that lets it down more than anything. Really amateur, especially the slow paced close-ups that kill it right the word go.

Fortunately, you do get past this and the film becomes quite tense in parts, with a very real use of its surroundings, disparity, soundtrack and good performances.

Despite all this, the film falls a bit flat, and although it is a survival movie, I felt like the characters had a better chance of surviving to the end than I did, which is a disappointing return to how the film started.

Creepshow 3 (2006 Video)

I your planning a schlock night, this denitely qualifies

[1/10 · 19 February 2024]

I knew it was going to be total s**t but as a big fan of Creepshow, I felt I needed to watch it anyway, and my god it's bad.

It starts with some of the most offensively awful animation I've ever seen, which baring in mind it had the same budget as the last film is hard to believe.

I then started to get a good laugh once the first segment comes in due to the combo of bad dialogue being badly acted, but followed by another four stories that were just tiresome.

I used to run workshops for kids to come in and make little films for fun, and honestly most of them were better than this. So, give your children a camera and 10 quid and you'll end up getting a better movie.

P. S.

The music!

I have no word for that.

10 Rillington Place (1971)

Good but dated

[6/10 · 18 January 2024]

A very gripping thriller, this one, based on true events that have a very unnerving feel throughout which was perfect.

Well acted across the board and the tone is as sinister as the subject matter so I definitely applaud that, but there's something that wont keep it in the classics section.

Its pacing, sound and visuals really make it look like a 1970's made for TV film, which is basically what it is... I was waiting for Ken Barlow to come and make a statement at one point.

So imagine watching 'Seven' but made at Ealing Studio for about a hundred quid 20 years before you was born.

Anyway, the film was good and definitely has it's merits, I just wish I could have seen it in 1971.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

Most fun I had in the cinema that year

[7/10 · 16 January 2024]

While there's a lot of people slagging off this film, it really is a great watch and I really enjoyed it in the cinema and also have watched it multiple times after with just as many laughs.

I'm not saying it merits an Oscar, but I couldn't help but love the obscure silliness of the film's humour, with great pacing too. The characters are great, and Chris Hemsthorth is particularly brilliant in this.

If you want to be devout to the original Ghostbusters, don't hate this one, because you'll actually like it if you give it a chance... Most of the cast of the original one did so, and are actually in it as well, so, just watch it.

Ghost Stories (I) (2017)

Great concept but ultimately, it's just dull

[5/10 · 25 October 2021]

A brilliant theatre production, now turned into a gritty horror film with a great cast. What could go wrong?

Well, see for yourself.

It's just, well... boring... Unfortunately.

I tried to like it, and I did in parts, but it really doesn't have any of the stage show's excitement... At all.

Thanks for trying, but it was as dull as dishwater.

Frost/Nixon (2008)

I love the film, but... the acting does it...

[7/10 · 17 May 2021]

I've never been so captivated by a pair of actors.

He's great in this film, and, I love the performances of Michael Sheen, but Frank Langella is unreal... He leaves you with a smile on your face... That smile you'll be developing the whole time you're watching him completely own the screen.

Ron Howard is brilliant too, I gotta say... He knows how to get the best out of a drama... And he really works it here.... He doesn't cut anything out but manages to keep up the pace...

Highly recommend x.

Passengers (I) (2016)

It's not a space odyssey but its filled with warmth.

[6/10 · 13 May 2021]

There has been a lot of critics slating this film for its dullness, I think due to it focusing itself on the character relationship rather than the potential the concept has. I disagree...

To me, this is actually a romance flick... but set in space... So you might be looking in the wrong place if you're thinking of a conceptual sci-fi movie.

I won't tell you its a masterpiece, but, I really enjoyed it and if you wanna watch a movie about space with your partner, then maybe try putting this on instead of Star Trek.... Unless you're both Trekkies.

Enjoy.

Foodfight! (2012)

Reaches a level I thought not possible

[1/10 · 29 July 2016]

First off... Seriously, they were given $65m and came out with this? Apart from the cast, where was this money spent? The budget for Shrek was $60m... Albeit, not my favourite film, but you can see why it was so successful.

The film looks like a cut scene from a PS1 game. The animation has a really jerky quality that you'd find in a test clip that lacks it's final slickness. There's virtually no depth or texture to any of it either. Looks like someone downloaded Blender and spent an afternoon learning to use the software.

The concept of the film is like they'd watched some recent successes with animals and other kid friendly characters and picked up "101 Hilarious Jokes" from a charity shop. All they had to do was glue those elements onto the family movie skeleton and there you have a winning script for a screening at the International Kicked in the Head by a Horse Convention.

The humour in it is annoyingly bad and the delivery from the actors make you cringe... I can't completely blame them though, because the sound quality suggests that they weren't given a lot of time.

"Hey! How's it going with that project we gave you $65m to make?"... Yeah, it's coming along real swell... (10 years later)...

Foodfigh! gives the impression that they mentioned some A-list names and how CGI films are the latest craze and got money thrown at them. Then they gave some students $100 and a couple of months to throw something together, got the Hollywood stars to record the voices over a dinner table one evening, pocketed the rest of the money and waited 10 years for the investors to forget about it.

Lawrence Kasanoff, you've done it again! Here's another one to add to the CV that will get your name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame... (Insert tumbleweed here) This film belongs in the Ripley's Believe It or Not! museum and that's the only reason anyone should ever see it.

Book of Blood (2009)

Worth watching with caution

[5/10 · 23 June 2016]

In a nutshell, 'Book of Blood' promisingly starts off with a jolt of well crafted horror, dangles monotonously throughout the middle, and seemingly gives up all hope at them end (at least you'd hoped they weren't trying).

The film's beginning and whole premise draws you in enough to make the ending watchable. Had the curve of production quality been reversed I would have struggled to make it through to the middle of the film.

Obviously, a great story from Clive Barker, which I still feel film portrays fairly well. Casting is good, and the narrative flows fairly well (despite a few notable acting faux pas, which are forgivable). The mood of the film has an apt feeling of eerie darkness right from the opening, but slowly looses momentum and completely hits you with unexpected scenes of modern schlock that you might find on DVD in Poundland.

I wasn't overly hopeful, but with an introduction like in this one, you can't help but feel disappointed and I would say this is worth watching with caution.

The Forest (I) (2016)

As Good as It Looks

[3/10 · 24 March 2016]

Deep down, I knew 'The Forest' was going to be another piece of Hollywood short and fast money spinning, but having an interest in the subject, I had some false hope that there could be more to it. There was not more to it. Not in in the way I was looking for, but there was however an additional underlying hint of disrespect.

Narratively this film resembles a school play. It feels awkward and nothing really flows. The back story is stereotypical Hollywood pseudo horror, senseless, loose and two dimensional. Characters are completely without identity and even with the inclusion of the same actress' face appearing in two roles, forgettable.

Are you at high school and did you like Hollwood's most recent 'efforts' in the horror genre such as 'Anabelle' and 'Jesseabelle'? Then you might enjoy 'The Forest's spooky children, jump scares, and avoiding spoilers, all of the other movie making flair-less cheats utilised in the current cinema trends.

With all of these brilliant things to praise the film with, the bonus is its ignorance towards Japanese culture, turning a beautiful and sacred (but admittedly eerie) place into something of evil, and disregarding mental health sufferers and victims of suicide as 'sad'.

I'm currently wondering if MindUK will be supporting the sequel, which sees an American Keira Knightley lookalike chased by ghost children with trick or treat masks on at Beachy Head.

The Interview (II) (2014)

This film was banned for the length of time it will be remembered for

[3/10 · 11 February 2015]

Strangely enough, lots of cinemas gained the courage to show this film after it was banned (which was definitely not a publicity stunt that attempted to compensate for the film).

Amazingly, it actually makes you appreciate the moments when Seth Rogan talks just because it's so embarrassingly bad experiencing any other actor appearing in this film. And I'll add, his performance wouldn't pass for anything else.

There is the occasional giggle, but it isn't whole heartedly WITH the film.

See it if you liked... 'The Secret Agent Club', 'Postal' or a disappointed cinema

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

A Fairly Upsetting Dream on Elm Street

[4/10 · 3 February 2009]

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Part 2 fails to live up to the original film (and the trailer) Seeing the first film, I wasn't overly impressed. It has quite an interesting concept and had a lot of excitement but never quite delivers the same thrill as other cult horrors like Friday the 13th, Re-Animator and Dawn of the Dead (Romero).

The trailer for "Freddy's Revenge" builds you up for a Nightmare bumped up a notch, with more action, more energy and a lot more horror. However, it seems the trailer editors were experts of their profession, as the film lacked more than 5 minutes of screen madness.

Where as the other films follow a string of murders climaxing with a battle between Freddy and his final victim, this film never quite reaches the fighting stage as Freddy seems to be in a war with himself.

The main problem was the 'lack of things happening'. Freddy Kruger's method of murder and the man himself are the main attractions, which leaves you waiting for them to appear, disappointing when they do as you see a very limited amount Freddy and a small number of tame deaths, apart from the obvious money shot.

If you liked the other films, this one's for you, but I wouldn't count on it going to the top of your favourite Nightmare on Elm Street movie list.

The Spirit (2008)

A visual splendor with nothing going on

[4/10 · 6 January 2009]

Based on the original DC comic, The Spirit follows a masked hero who holds a super natural ability to endure masses of pain and recover from serious injuries. As you would expect, he ends up in all sorts of action scrapes and comes across a series of femme fatals, resulting in over the top cheesy movie moments, some of which reminded me of Spiderman 3.

Miller treats us to a sequence of wonderful images. High contrast Film noir with vibrant bursts of colour and settings that change with the narrative. However, I expected a bit more from the film than cinematic eye candy. As spectacular as the visuals are, there were no surprises as it gives us pretty much the same as Sin City.

Samuel L Jackson's character is one of the highlights of the film. Everything that make a villain evil comes out in The Octopus and Jackson's performance makes him great fun to watch. Generally including The Octopus, the film is packed with humour, but often fails to do more than break out a few smiles.

Good concept, great characters, visually stunning. Quite pretentious but Potentially, The Spirit could have made filmic history. It's weakness is the plot. The story is very loose and seems to be a lot of nothing happening. Half of the film is spent confusing the audience while the other half bluntly explains what's going on. With this in mind, I would still consider The Spirit as a good watch and keeps you more than entertained for a good 2 hours, although it did seem like slightly more.

Dead Calm (1989)

Less than good

[4/10 · 14 July 2008]

Dead Calm is based on a suspense thriller about a couple on a yachting trip, who end up in a nightmarish ocean adventure when they allow a man from a sinking ship come aboard.

Its quite an obvious idea, but could easily have created a good thrill. The main problem, was that nothing happened. The film was very uneventful, and boring. The only thing that kept my interest was the hilarity of Sam Niell's face reminding me of dusty fish finger. There were also a few classic moments that kept me laughing like, the small '96 boy smashing through a window, Sam Neill jumping for the boat, and the appearance of a fish next to Sam Neill's head. The dog stuck to the door was also quite good.

After barely anything happening for 95 minutes, the film ended with an unbelievably out of place climax. It was actually ridiculous. The film then ended about 5 seconds later.

Overall, it wasn't TOO bad, bad I can't think of anything that was actually good apart from the quite nicely framed bird's eye view shot of the boat at the end. It was supposed to be a suspense thriller, horror boat adventure, but turned out to be more like an episode of The Bill, at sea.

I recommend not watching this, unless you have a strange sense of humor like me.

Envy (2004)

What the hell?

[6/10 · 13 July 2008]

Envy is quite a strange one. I really was not expecting that at all.

I was thinking it would be an incredibly predictable un-funny main-stream comedy with a message, in the league of films like click. In a way, it kind of was. But not quite.

It wasn't overly funny, but the humour was better than I anticipated. I found myself laughing at a few bits, but I really wasn't sure whether those parts were supposed to be funny. They was just like, "what the hell?". One example of that, is the music. It doesn't sound like it's supposed to be funny (definately not in the way i found it funny), but it was. It may have been intentional, as the film had a lot of noncommercial and strange elements that i didn't expect.

The whole basis of the film was quite surreal, which is uncommon in mainstream films like this. This was also quite funny. It even had quite good cinematography at points (also uncommon in mainstream comedies).

Some of it makes you go "that is the stupidest thing ever", but much like the way the film was unexpectedly surreal and strange, i think this was also intentional.

In some ways though, it was a very commercial film, with mainstream humour, like i expected. It had quite an obvious message that you'll probably notice.

It's really hard to explain this film. It's almost like what would happen if David Lynch had directed click.

I recommend to any fan of David Lynch or Click to watch the film, but I don't really know if you'd like it or not. I'm not quite sure if I do. I was going to give a 5, but because of reasons i've already explained, I think it deserves more.

Fantastic Four (I) (2005)

Not very good

[4/10 · 2 May 2008]

I have always been a big fan of marvel. I used to enjoy watching the fantastic four cartoon in the 90's, despite thinking they're probably the most gay marvel characters. I suppose it was Doom who done it for me, being one of the coolest villains of all time.

However, I can't say I felt the same way about the film, as it was about as exciting as an old man walking a tortoise.

The majority of the film spent building up to a 10 minute climax. The fantastic our spend the whole time establishing their powers, until they finally use them in an unspectacular ending. The same amount of time is spent building up doom, who when eventually identified, turns out to share none of the charisma of the original comic book Doom. What I found even more disappointing was the American accent he spoke with (despite being Latvian).

Johnny was the least likable person ever, and I hated reed Richards. All I wanted to see was doom kill them, but when he was revealed I didn't want either of them to win!

Every disaster prevented by the four, was also created by them, cancelling out their heroism. It was a it like breaking a chair and then fixing it.

In terms of production, the film wasn't too good either. Everything looked very artificial, as if the entire film was encased in plastic. It had a huge over use of CGI, and visually seemed quite bland.

I would have rated it lower had it not been for it's marvel comic book character content. If you're not a fan of the comic book genre, you'll hate it, and if you are a fan, you'll hate how they ruined this film (epecially doom).

poo.

Spawn (1997)

Action, adventure, and special effects... All of it shite.

[2/10 · 14 April 2008]

I couldn't believe what I was seeing when I watched this. It's quite strange how they could make the film so bad, especially when you consider the fact that it was potentially good.

There was a range of characters whom I had no recollection of. Most of them came out of nowhere, with no explanation, character development, or identity. The only name i knew was Spawn and there were only a handful of characters who's purpose was made clear.

The evil clown is possibly the worst character I have ever seen. I hated every moment he was on screen. Spawn, in his full outfit, looks quite cool, however, for the majority of the film, he is shown with no mask, just a burnt face resembling dry spaghetti bolognese.

Nothing actually happened in this film. The whole thing was just Spawn figuring out who he wanted to kill. Which he could have done at any point. Maybe they should have put a little message at the beginning of the film saying "Read the comics first and you might have some idea of what's going on".

The film work is visually dull and boring, and most of the technical aspects seemed to rely on special effects. A lot of the stunts, make up effects, and props were replaced by CGI. Even Spawn's mask, was superimposed at some points. I'm not usually one to base a film on the quality of the effects, but if you're going to use CGI in almost every minute of every scene, then it needs to be better than playstation one. Plausibly the effects could have been taken from the Spawn game.

For a film, this was the least cinematic looking thing you could view. It's safe to say, I missed this when it was shown in cinemas. I can't imagine how little of an experience that would have been. The opening credits felt like I was watching a video on youtube.

I actually wanted the film to end so badly. I didn't even care about what happened. If the DVD had blown up I wouldn't have been at all bothered about missing the ending. I watched this, not because I thought it would be brilliant, but because I liked the look of the concept of Spawn, and I like horror and comic book styles, leading me into thinking Spawn would be fairly enjoyable. If you feel the same way, I recommend not watching it. You will be incredibly disappointed, and maybe a bit depressed.

(I only gave this 2/10 because i have seen Psycho From Texas.)

I hate it.

Twin Town (1997)

Excellent!

[8/10 · 9 March 2008]

The film has everything you'd want it to have. Especially if you're British. Probably more of a bloke's film, but still fun for everyone.

The story is brilliant, and so accurately welsh. Every minor detail adds to the whole experience. The film progresses like a serious drama and seems to come out with brilliant comedy without even trying. As well as the actual storyline being funny, little quirks about each character and even the attention to welsh detail makes you laugh.

Not only is it well written, it's also beautifully filmed, and makes great use of the camera. The film encompasses a huge range of interesting shots.

Enhancing the film further was it's great choice of cast. All the characters were perfectly conveyed, and film avoided any bad performances.

The music is also something to listen out for, as it stands out as a good piece of work on it's own.

I highly recommend Twin Town (especially if you're British), as it's an exciting film experience with a great story, interesting shots, decent actors, and appropriate use of excessive swearing and violence.

Cloverfield (2008)

Excellent!

[4/10 · 8 February 2008]

Cloverfield is a brilliant film. I was expecting it to be reasonably good, but it really was excellent.

The only thing that forced me to lower the rating, was the fact that it almost killed me. For about half of the film, I had to look at the ground, walls or close my eyes, due to the extreme and prolonged motion of the hand-held camera. If I didn't do so, i probably would have been carried out. This seemed to have no effect on a lot of people, but I recommend watching it with some water or nourishment in the anticipation that you'll be sick. Despite making me severely ill, I wouldn't say the hand-held camera was a bad part of the film. If the experience of a film is ruined by something such as this, then it would be bad, but in most cases it wasn't a problem.

Watching this was incredible. It was really like watching an actual camera tape. Even little things like camcorder focusing and features were incorporated. So much thought has been put into this film, it's really great.

There's even a little secret bit at the end that you'll probably miss if you blink, but it's really amazing.

Requiem for a Dream (2000)

Brilliantly awful

[3/10 · 4 February 2008]

I don't really know how to explain this film, so maybe it will come to me in this review.

The film is shown from the perspective of 4 drug users as they spiral into a mental dystopia. All seeking a better life, aided by drugs, they fall into a state of insanity, demonstrated by a great use of film techniques.

Despite the sophisticated film work, I found watching 'Requiem for a Dream' about as pleasurable as having a pigeon with diarrhoea land on my face. The story... goes nowhere. I spent a good 97 minutes wondering when something was going to happen. There was quite a few 'look at the clock' moments. And as the film progressed I found myself feeling increasingly uncomfortable. The finale was so painful, I was dying for the film to finish, as i was bombarded with obnoxious noise, and a montage of obscene nasty outcomes for each character. I could sense the other people in the room feeling the same, but perhaps slightly less tolerant than me. I was really hoping they didn't think I was enjoying myself.

There was a large portion of the film spent of character development, and were supposed to appeal to different members of the audience as an attempt to cause a bigger impact as you watch their lives deteriorate, however, the characters were so dis-likable i didn't want to even look at them.

The whole thing was basically an hour and a half of saying "Drugs are bad", which i think they made quite clear. The film may have been more effective if it had been condensed into about 10 minutes and placed between a plot.

You can tell that it's supposed leave you in a state of amazement, feeling disturbed and changed by the images you have just witnessed, which in many cases probably worked, explaining the amount of credibility it received. However, I have imagined things 10 times more horrible, and I can't think of a reason why i would want to share them with the general public.

In summary: Very well executed, but i do believe in the saying "You can't polish a turd"

The only thing i got out of it was the ability to read clocks in the dark.

The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Better than expected!

[7/10 · 26 July 2007]

As the quality of the later episodes has slightly decreased, i was in some way expecting a moderately good film, with a few outstanding moments.

What was i thinking?

How can this film not be a masterpiece? This film was absolutely excellent. There is a joke at every single moment of the movie. The film goes right back to the way the simpsons were at their peek.

There are a few cheesy parts, where i thought "this is a bit gay", however, as soon as anything like this happens, the film cuts it out. E.g. Green Day. I was also glad that they didn't keep breaking into song.

The Simpsons have also been severely enhanced cinematically. The appearance of the animation is far greater than the show.

I laughed at it. I loved it. I highly recommend watching this film.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)

Not bad

[4/10 · 25 July 2007]

This film was alright.

I'm not a huge Harry Potter fan, but it's probably the best of the 5 out so far.

There was some pretty good cinematography involved in this. Quite impressive on occasions. I especially liked it where the camera backs up through a pain of glass, and pans down to scene. (look out for that)

The whole thing was acted well. Daniel Radcliffe is very convincing. Harry Potter seems much less geeky than he did in the first film.

The visuals are quite nice. There are some very good special effects throughout the film, including make up, and CGI.

The actual story wasn't excellent, it was a bit boring and uneventful. So I imagine the book isn't too great. There were some quite funny moments along the way, but nothing particularly interesting.

Overall, the film was not brilliant. I went to see this with my Girl friend, something i'd suggest. It's quite a nice film to watch together, especially in the cinema. There's a part where Harry kisses a girl, as the camera pans up to the mistletoe above their heads. At this point the entire audience is under the mistletoe. A little crowd pleaser thrown in there.

I would recommend this film, however, you'd probably be quite board on your own. The experience contributed a lot to it.

Doctor Who: Last of the Time Lords (2007) Season 3, Episode 13

Not too excellent

[4/10 · 3 July 2007]

This was quite disappointing.

I anticipated this for a long time, as the series build up was amazing. When i saw it, i was gutted.

The secret behind the orb thing was really good, it was very exciting seeing that. However, the rest of the show was a bit boring. Not a lot actually happened. I was waiting for a spectacularly grand finale, as promised by the previous episodes, but when i saw the everyone in the world think DOCTOR thing, i was like, "what the hell?". That was just stupid.

The idea was very good, it just ended very badly. For a sinister series of nasty episodes, and evil characters, they could have had a much darker finish than that.

There was a lack of the Doctor, who is the best part of the programme, which is why it's called Doctor Who. The episode missed his quick Whit, fast personality, and his spontaneous action packed short adventures.

It was basically just an hour long, tame explanation of how the story ends. Which wasn't too great anyway.

Good in comparison to a lot of TV. BAD in comparison to Doctor Who.

Vertical Features Remake (1978)

The very essence of film

[10/10 · 26 June 2007]

This is a complete masterpiece.

I have never seen anything quite like this. Despite this, the majority of people would not enjoy it as it is a tedious look at different scenery. At points, it really drags on, however, for me this extravagance and sheer persistence only enhanced the experience. It is quite hard to believe.

Verticle Features Remake is made up documentary using random archive images of people, and following the story of a man called Tulse Luper, who collected images, and information about vertical features, organised into 11 sections each containing 11 Verticle Features. Creating 121 in total, chosen logically for the project.

Tulse Lupers collection, is then remade 4 times, in film format, following the different opinions on the relevance, and meaning of the original project.

This film is made so brilliantly it's unbelievable. Don't expect to watch a nice light heart comedy. It is funny, but not quite as you normally see it. The music, reinforces the tediousness, and works a spectacularly strange and minimal soundtrack, perfectly suiting the film. If you're a film appreciator like myself, you have to watch this film. REALLY, IT'S THAT GOOD!

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

Possibly the best piece of film work ever created

[10/10 · 8 June 2007]

This is actually amazing. I have never seen a piece of film work quite like this. It is revolutionary, and i think that this film alone makes Stanley Kubrick the best director ever, despite all his other great work.

However, this film is not for everyone. Some people may be bored by it, as there is very little dialogue, and a lot of it is quite subtle, and slow moving. Be warned, you have to be in the mood, as it's not overly easy to watch and requires your full attention. Not one to sit round with your mates after a few drinks. Any film maker or appreciator will enjoy this, as the whole feature is visually mesmerising, and accompanied by an incredible soundtrack.

It portrays the development of life, and the history of existence. Billions of years of evolution are symbolised in one transition (you'll see that in the film).

Basically, it is very good. At the end, a baby appears on screen, which you may not have my humour, but i was incredibly close to laughing my head off. However, i was restrained by the cinematic greatness, and felt no urge to laugh.

I recommend the film, however, as i have said, don't watch this expecting a nice and easy entertaining movie. Make sure the room is silent and pitch black.