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Reviews
The Beautiful, the Bloody, and the Bare (1964)
This one ought to remain the vault
A totally ridiculous nudie cutie from the early days of the LBJ administration, this film would have been a justifiable view when its rival for prurience was the gingham dresses of the ladies of "Petticoat Junction." Such were the times that a film like this, consisting basically of women just standing there and letting their boobs hang out, found an eager audience.
The plot and structure of the film, such as they are, have been explained well by the other comments added by various users, and little more needs to be said about it.
It has a view moments of kitsch appeal, mostly in the footage of long-gone Manhattan, but if you are older than fifteen this film is a complete bore.
Dirty Pool (1970)
skin-flick time-capsule
This cheapie adult film is in effect a silent film, shot without sound, upon which voice-over narration and musical score have been added. It is of the style that was in vogue between 1968 and 1972, which is full female nudity, partial male nudity, and simulated sex scenes. Twitching and thrashing, huffing and puffing, mock lesbianism, this is soft core cheese. Fans of Uschi Digard will not be disappointed as the entire film consists of her, a phony-name actress, and two anonymous dudes.
This film is now available on DVD, but the celluloid print from which the transfer has been made was corrupted by mold and fungus, leaving flashing red spots throughout the presentation, in addition to running scratches and other visual artifacts that are so common to films treated carelessly in projection and storage. The film degrades noticeably at the end of each 20-minute reel where it was fed by a projectionist with dirty hands soiled with substances one might not wish to consider. Somewhere along the line the third reel was fed incorrectly, and between the 40 and 44 minute mark there are bright yellow gouges where the celluloid was punctured by the teeth of the feed or take-up sprocket.
It's About Time (1966)
Why do you think they call it the Idiot Box?
"It's About Time" was a very short lived sitcom released in 1965 that mercifully died a quick death. It's television dreck, full of clichés and cornballs, idiocy peppered with a relentless jangling laugh-track. It may have pleased an eight year old in pajamas with a mouth full of sugar cereal, but apparently not enough of them to remain on the air. One would like to call it charming, simple, and quaint, but remember that it was made by adults working as executives in television production, and adult actors who took acting as their avocation. This television is so ridiculously & admittedly stupid, and it's unsettling to think that it was made by grown-up people.
The producers must have decided that the way to create a hit was to take elements from several successful shows and combine them into something new. In this way, "It's About Time" is a amalgamation of what was popular on the box in the USA in 1965. The caveman elements come from Captain Caveman and the Flintstones, the nyuk-nyuk castaways come from Gilligan's Island, and the adventures of two moderns trapped among yokels in the wild is from Green Acres. Sherwood Schwartz had nothing left except the ability to imitate himself.
Why did it fail? a) The continual unga-bunga dialect ("Me like sharp stick, take food to mate") is very grating and annoying -- alone it's enough to make you flip the channel. b) No pretty girls to prance about in a tiger-fur bra. Did Eva Marie Saint turn the part down? c) It's hard to cheer for the two dorky spacemen. They don't rouse sympathy or interest.