gekkepoppetje Reviews

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024)

Drives you nuts

[3/10 · 17 May 2024]

This is my third attempt at writing a review. The first two were not posted, probably because I use the word 'n - azi' and that word is apparently a forbidden word. A mockery of course, because in this film everyone talks about n - azi's all the time!

Because my comment is very relevant and is precisely about this hypocritical part of the media, I am writing the piece again, but now I call n -azis: 'nuts'. Let's see if it gets posted. Otherwise, this will be my last review on this site.

The joke with American movies in general and this film in particular is that they always tell stories about the battle between good and evil. The so-called 'good' must then use even more violence to overcome so-called 'evil'. Happiness is a warm gun. To overcome 'evil', 'good' must always use 'ungentlemanly warfare'. The hero is more covered in blood than the villain.

We all know the nuts from the Second World War: the nuts degraded people to animals and murdered them in large numbers. What in the world could be worse than a nut? They are the perfect villains to justify violence (ask Tarantino).

Nuts are a useful tool for films that want to make violence legitimate, so that the viewer can indulge in cruelty without having to feel guilty. In The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, anything is allowed to fight the nuts. Strangling, shooting, cutting throats, you name it. Nuts have been degraded to animals and they are being killed in large numbers. The makers prove that they are also nuts themselves! You can state 'Yes, but then they are nuts for a good cause.' But hey! That's what the nuts from the Second World War thought too, right?

To make matters worse, the film is also boring. Because the bad murderers are only weak and the good murderers are only strong. Moreover, all the players are caricatures, which means there is no real drama. What remains is a group of nuts that degrades and kills another group of nuts into animals. Technically speaking, this is a film by and for nuts.

Monkey Man (2024)

Forget 'John Wick'

[9/10 · 27 April 2024]

In many reviews that people write here about the film Monkey Man, they make a comparison with the John Wick films.

But John Wick is exactly the shade of gray that Hollywood continuously presents according to the maxim: 'If you like chocolate, we will drown you in it.'

In John Wick, after clean headshot number 43, you reach for your popcorn in anticipation of the 2183 boring headshots that are yet to come. John Wick is so cringe-inducing boring that the film can't even stand in the shadow of Monkey Man's big toenail.

Originality - imagination - entertainment - realism - tension - suggestion - fantasy - speed - humor - intelligence - good sound score - visual beauty - blunt violence - real people: this film has everything that John Wick lacks.

Vaincre ou mourir (2022)

Show, don't tell!

[4/10 · 20 April 2024]

This film really looks stunning. In terms of art direction and realism, French films are superior to the plastic junk from Hollywood. However, if Vaincre ou Mourir had listened to one well-known American maxim: 'Show, don't tell', the film would have succeeded. Unfortunately, viewers are not allowed to experience history, we must listen to it and understand it.

The fact that at the beginning of the film a number of specialists start to indicate what is yet to come, does not bode well. We are then presented with a number of colorful characters. Unfortunately we are not allowed to get to know them, but they are explained and that is a killer for any drama.

Many films that tell an unexposed part of history have an enormous need for framing and interpretation. The result is a story that limps on two legs, in which facts are more important than drama. And let it be precisely drama that ensures that facts stick. There were probably too many correct or educational captains on the ship of this production. A good screenplay and a good director would have sufficed.

Dune: Part Two (2024)

Stupid to the core

[5/10 · 7 April 2024]

What is it with so-called 'science fiction'? Why does it always make me laugh? On the one hand, it's because it's so unrealistic. Suppose there is a planet with a species that is far ahead of humanity. Do you really think they still use technology? I mean, technology is the shaped idea of a lower life form that is still trying to gain control over reality through... technology. That is quite a backward way of thinking: life is a problem and we are going to solve it through technology. Almost childlike.

Suppose there were a race somewhere in the universe that was far ahead of our race, did you really think they would be dependent on external resources such as technology? That's why it's so ridiculous to watch science fiction: it's the typical wet dream of ignorant people who are still in the technological phase of their culture.

And you can immediately see that it is ridiculous. In the film, they are actually talking to each other, wearing armored suits! I think that's funny. You invented a spaceship higher than a scyscraper, and you still wear a armored suit.

That is not a culture of space travel, that is a culture of the ignorant. When you are capable of space travel, why on earth would you continue using 'swords'? It is a stupid technological instrument from a phase of development in which beings are still trying to kill each other. It really has nothing to do with a culture that is further ahead of ours. We are still in the phase where the unseen ego holds sway and where we do not yet recognize ourselves in others. A culture that is much further along is on a completely different track! They are no longer in battle with themselves and therefore with others. They are long past the charade and fighting.

Not that it isn't beautifully designed; it all looks beautiful, very ingenious. But they're still monkeys with machine guns.

And swords :)

Freud's Last Session (2023)

Film about Freud with the depth of a canoe

[4/10 · 20 February 2024]

Now, I was pleasantly surprised last week by the film 'La fille de nulle part' by French director Jean-Claude Brisseau. I was particularly struck by the depth of the dialogues and realized that I am not used to that at all anymore: a director who assumes that his audience has read a book before. It seems like films increasingly take the dumbest of the bunch as a starting point; everything has to be spoon-fed and explained.

Freud's Last Session could have been a fantastic opportunity to create a film that intellectually grabs you and keeps you intellectually engaged. Why is there not a deeper exploration of the father-daughter relationship? Why is there no real dialogue between Freud and the professor? Why is there no character development? Why don't we get real insight into the psychology of the three main characters? It's about Freud, for goodness' sake! He is the founder of psychoanalysis! The levity of the production completely hinders the subject. It's like making a cowboy film without cowboys.

A missed opportunity.

Wil (2023)

Next level war drama

[10/10 · 13 February 2024]

What a movie... Actors, camera, lighting, sound, editing, art direction, music. All are of exceptional quality. The oppressive atmosphere of Antwerp during World War II with its Nazis and traitors gets under your skin within 5 minutes. The actors in this film are (thankfully) not stars but genuine people. Belgians speak Flemish, Germans speak German. The dilemmas people face during war are a downright nightmare. Some of the shots were reportedly taken in Poland because the houses and streets there still resemble those of Europe 80 years ago. The images of the raid are clearly inspired by the pogroms in Lviv in 1941. Truly, everything about this film is superb. In my opinion, director Tim Mielants immediately ranks among the greats. Secretly, I hope that he will film the story of 'De bende van Jan de Lichte' with the same rawness.

Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)

Unwatchable

[1/10 · 6 December 2023]

Why would anyone want to spend 2 hours watching vulnerable, well-intentioned people being deceived and murdered? Can someone explain that to me? Is watching a kind, caring woman being deceived and destroyed entertainment? What's the point of showcasing for 2 hours how poor people are deceived, exploited, and murdered by a pack of psychopathic killers? Is it because the killers are the most popular killers in American cinema? Is it because it's all so fantastically crafted? Black lives matter, but let's not forget that the land of the free was built on a genocide. The numbers are carefully avoided because 'no one can say for sure,' but according to ChatGPT, in North America between 1700 and 1800, at least 6 million indigenous people were murdered. It's likely that there were many more. Does 'Killers of the Flower Moon' do justice? It seems more like a movie for sadists. A stage where De Niro and DiCaprio can let their egos shine at the expense of the greatest possible misery. The film is unbearable to watch and capable of undoing even your last bit of hope for humanity. It's a feel-bad movie as only Hollywood can make.

Haunting of the Queen Mary (2023)

A haunting surprise!

[10/10 · 4 October 2023]

You probably remember the opening scene of Ghostship. After this legendary scene, the film in question unfortunately fizzles out. The Haunting of the Queen Mary picks up where the first mentioned film lost it. From the start you immediately know that copywriters and directors are playing a scary game with you. The film exudes an evil atmosphere that keeps you paying attention with some fear and that characterises a successful horror film. And without the use of irritating jump scrapes and timpani hits (the hallmarks of an unimaginative director). The film is populated by a number of equally elegant and unreliable characters, such as Clarky and Herr Bittner. Mrs. Calder's son also eagerly contributes to the total alienation. The film is always uncomfortably dark, making everything very gloomy and claustrophobic. To top it all off, the unreal scenes from the 1950s bring back the better moments from Shining and even Don't look now comes to peek around the corner. The art direction is excellent with beautiful lighting effects and scenes where past and present intertwine in an eerie way. All in all, 'The Haunting of the Queen Mary' is a very pleasant surprise that contributes to the genre.

Jeanne du Barry (2023)

Constructed

[5/10 · 20 September 2023]

The movie is truly beautifully designed and is filled with magnificent shots of Versailles. The locations and costumes have been carefully chosen and are a feast for the eyes. The story and the dialogues are entertaining enough to keep you engaged. Johnny Depp makes for a fantastic French king.

The film is directed by Maïwenn, who also plays the lead role. I can understand that a woman wants to play the role of Madame Du Barry (and she acts very well) but I don't see Madame Du Barry; I see Maïwenn. Her beauty is exaggerated. She has a coarse face with a huge mouth and a large set of teeth that give her a somewhat masculine look. I find her charming and likable, but I can't find the subtle, enchanting Madame Du Barry from the stories.

Although Maïwenn plays a character role, it's never explored and it's never really clear how her ambitions relate to her love for the king. Their love lacks intimacy and becomes somewhat understandable only towards the very end. But then it is too late for drama. The only drama in the movie comes from Benjamin Lavernhe. That man deserves a leading role.

Sade (2000)

Delicious

[9/10 · 30 August 2023]

Beautiful film where the action is mainly substantive. The story takes place in the period after the revolution, during which the population suffered under the terror of Robespierre and his associates. The grim, unhinged chaos in which friend and foe alike had to fear for their lives, and where everyone did everything to save their own skin, is depicted vividly. The atmosphere in and around the dilapidated Picpus convent is delectable. Isild Le Besco and Marianne Denicourt are truly captivating and Daniel Auteuil plays a wonderfully engaging Sade. It's impressive how Benoît Jacquot contrasts the literary perversity of De Sade with the much greater literal perversity of the revolution. Just because of the climax in the barn, this film probably wouldn't be allowed to be made today. All the snowflakes would go completely berserk. A great movie for anyone who loves French history.

Marie Antoinette (2022– )

Fingers crossed

[9/10 · 15 August 2023]

The series starts a bit weakly, but gradually evolves into a story loosely following the (unparalleled) biography of Stefan Zweig. Emilia Schüle portrays the naive and frivolous young queen in an intimate and believable way and Louis Cunningham convinces as the completely inexperienced and indecisive Louis. In contrast to most films about Marie Antoinette, the film effectively portrays the isolation that the princess finds herself in, caught between her ambitious demanding mother on one side and the French people's hatred for anything Austrian on the other.

The encounter with Marie Antoinette's secret love, Axel von Fersen, begs for further exploration in the upcoming seasons. The life of this Swedish military officer and statesman, who was as passionately in his love as he was heroic, is so adventurous, romantic and cool that he deserves his own series. He risked his life several times in vain attempts to save his beloved queen and the king. Years after the death of his beloved queen, he himself met his tragic end when he was beaten to death by a revolutionary mob in Sweden.

The images are all beautifully shot but also very clean. According to history, Versailles was rather a dirty, stinking mess full of powdered courtiers relieving themselves on leaking wooden cabinets than a neat museum with raked gravel.

Unfortunately the music in the series is invisible and that is a missed opportunity. Series such as 'Vikings' and 'Versailles' dealt with music far better. A more outspoken musical score with, for example, a nod to popular music, could have brought the series more attention.

The makers succeed well in showing the fairytale part of the story, but I hope they also have the guts to show the filth and the terror of the revolution: the atrocities committed during the September Massacres and the fate of Marie-Louise Thérèse of Savoy. If only for completeness.

Let's very much hope that season 2 is good enough for a sequel so that the whole story can be told. It is to be hoped that screenwriters who think they can tell a better story than history will be left out. So far, there hasn't been a film that dared to portray the catharsis of Marie Antoinette. She loses her husband and children and endures a true ordeal, transforming from a superficial and frivolous woman into a true queen in the face of her violent death. As Stefan Zweig beautifully puts it:

'...only when the revolution, with violence, penetrates from the small Rococo stage into the grand, tragic world history, does she realize how terribly she erred in choosing the insignificant role of soubrette and salon lady, while fate had given her the strength and tension for a heroine's role. At the moment when, in the role of queen, she can only play the death scene in the tragic epilogue, she becomes aware of herself. Only when the game becomes serious and the crown is taken from her, only then does Marie Antoinette become a queen from within.'

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

Impossibly boring like Hollywood

[1/10 · 24 March 2023]

I like to watch people getting killed. Give me a movie where people are getting killed for 3 hours and I'll be happy. Then you've come to the right place in Hollywood. Hollywood is for the mob what was once the arena in ancient Rome, but the light version. The rabble, ignorant, feasting on big screens where violence is shown as necessary, tough and sexy. John Wick is like American porn: do you like chocolate? Then we'll drown you in it. The film has a total lack of drama, a total lack of imagination and, even worse, a total lack of humour. After the umpteenth headshot I look bored at my lukewarm popcorn. Kenau Reeves, the Internet's darling of good deeds, plays a depressed killer in a black suit who does nothing but kill people. A feast to watch for the poor in spirit. Hollywood: we've got millions and what do we do? Portraying human ugliness like it is sexy.

The Green Knight (2021)

Not for simple minds

[10/10 · 11 February 2023]

Really sad all this bad reviews complaining 'nothing is happening' People are getting used to all this cheap ass crap movies Hollywood serves us. Films that only have action and form but not an ounce of substance. In the end you raise a nation of spectators who are completely unable to recognise content at all and call it boring because people aren't killing each other all the time.

When people can no longer tell the difference between a sampler and a piano, why continue to make pianos? Fortunately, even in superficial America there are still directors who like to listen to classical music. I would call this a relief. A little haute cuisine in an ocean of hamburger.

House of the Dragon (2022– )

Game of scenario writers

[2/10 · 20 October 2022]

After all kinds of PR I dared to start on 'House of the dragon'. Except for the princess, none of the players have a real character. At least not a character we haven't seen 1000 times before. The Hollywood stories are allergic to anything unusual because it could deter the mob and therefore income, and that seems to be the case with "House of the dragon" as well. In GOT you could identify yourself with bad guys and feel sympathy for them, but in House of the Dragons everything is safely one-dimensional again. What is striking is that the series has also suddenly 'woken up' with enough dark actors (very discriminatory for people from Asian countries). Because this hip new form of apartheid seems ineradicable, I kept watching the series. Obviously, it's another plot-driven feast for screenwriters who know all about storytelling, but nothing about what really drives people. The princess was really the only character that motivated me to keep following the series. When I started to fell in love with her, the entire cast was replaced?!! WTF!! Really?? I don't feel taken seriously at all (exactly the opposite of GOT) and I immediately dropped out. Go Dragon house yourself! What are they thinking? Too many top chefs for a cake that everyone should like and therefore no longer tastes like anything.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

Stupid, useless & ugly

[1/10 · 23 June 2022]

This may be the most stupid, useless and ugly movie I have ever seen. I was invited to to see this in a theater and even with the 3D glasses I fell asleep 3 times. Why? Because bombastic all the time makes a movie super boring. You may add 3D or even 6D glasses, but it wont change a thing. The story is stupid (no a motherless mother is not deep) its hyper ugly (as only Americans can make) its totally boring, showing the same stupid action over en over. A totally wast of time. Nice when you are young and like the world as a computer game.

Birds of Prey (2020)

Well behaved

[4/10 · 1 June 2022]

The movie would have been better if I had longed for the lead actress even once; if she had been what she really wants to be and should be, a fetish babe. I would have liked to see upskirts, panties, nylons, hips (does she have any?) ... a little bit of... sexuality. There I said it. But no, what I get is one of of those sexless American models who has to jump through all kinds of inclusive and christian hoops to fit in. That's why Harley just won't get any balls. She stays a well-behaved puritan girl with mediocre lyrics who never really gets dangerous, naughty, kinky or weird.

Ennio (2021)

Too much information too fast

[2/10 · 25 April 2022]

Why do these makers think I can handle all this information in one second? Was there too much information and no time? Are these makers from the tiktok generation? Did they use cocaine? Am I to old? It's wonderful to make a documentary about such a great composer, but the makers don't do it any justice. A man of Morricone's caliber does not deserve any affrettando.

Our Ladies (2019)

There is something wrong

[4/10 · 12 December 2021]

Initially 'Our Ladies' resembles a cheerful feel-good movie as they are regularly produced in England, Ireland and Scotland.

What makes the film unrealistic is the excessive focus on sex. The film presents an endless series of clichés of sexually aggressive women and soft and stupid men. The writers must be male and have no idea about sexuality in general and female sexuality in particular.

When a young girl (that is serious ill) finds the romance she has dreamt of, there is zero chance she will objectify him and turn her first date into a porn hub fantasy.

This movie is not about schoolgirls, its about men.

Benedetta (2021)

Older but not better

[4/10 · 6 December 2021]

What is the point in this movie? Is it the acting of the sisters? Nope. Is it the drama? Huh, was there drama? Is it the cinematographic experience? Nope. Is it the storyline that grabs you by the booboo? Nope. Is it nude nuns, lesbian sex and blaspheming images with which the director wanted to shock internationally? O, please dear God I hope not! Seventies are over. But what is it? What have I missed? I used to be a great Verhoeven-fan but he lost me after Starship Troupers.

Spencer (2021)

Pretty brilliant ode that Diana would have liked a lot

[10/10 · 28 November 2021]

After her parents were divorced Diana (7) was rejected by her father at christmas. This rejection was painfully re-staged in the way her husband Charles treated her.

The movie depicts the doubts and fears of a deadly lonely woman with a lack of emotion regulation. A serene, hopeless and unhappy fairy tale unfolds in which truthfulness seems to perish in a decorum of stiff cross-generational personality disorders.

Kirsten Stewart plays the part superbly. Camera, art direction, music: everything is exactly as it should be. Spencer does lovingly justice to Diana's memory. Because of this, the film manages to move you twice.

A Discovery of Witches (2018–2022)

I kiss the ground the location scout walks on

[8/10 · 27 November 2021]

I really hate plastic fantasy and Marvel emptiness but this series is well written, contains excellent acting and has beautiful music score. Both witches and vampires are delicious sober; no fangs or coffins or laser beams. Hollywood will always deliver hamburgers. This is a series only the brits can produce. It can be seen as a gothic road movie. O, and: I kiss the ground the location scout walks on.

Zeros and Ones (2021)

Spoilers anybody?

[2/10 · 19 November 2021]

Dark, shaky images in movie about nothing. Some heavy themes like muslims and Vatican? Bad FX? Actors with face masks in the glow of a flashlight? I wish I could post spoilers. After 40 minutes I still had no clue. Will someone explain what this is al about?

Spider in the Attic (2021)

Makers didn't get the spider concept

[2/10 · 7 November 2021]

A spider is creepy because it's creepy. The makers did not realize that a spider is a winning team already. They have tried to make the spiders more creepy. As a result the spiders became laughable. Haha.

Taboo (2017)

Please stay in Europe

[9/10 · 25 October 2021]

Outstanding performance from writers, directors and actors. The series remind me of the stories of Alexandre Dumas.

For what its worth: I hope the second season does not start in America. Please stay in England or France or Europe: keep cowboys & indians out.

Dune (2021)

Y A W N

[3/10 · 19 October 2021]

Completely empty movie in which pompous visuals cannot disguise the lack of drama. That must be a very boring novel. It's ridiculous when in Movies with advanced technology people fight each other with knives and fists. You would think that at some point the monkeys would have become wise enough.