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Reviews
Better Living Through Chemistry (2014)
If Breaking Bad was a Comedy, You'd Get This
This was a decent movie, kind of what you would expect if you could mate Friends with Breaking Bad but with a lot more sex. Throw in a really hot chick to make the sex scenes all that much more interesting to watch and you can almost forgive the cookie cutter script.
Hey his wife is a bitch, gosh why doesn't he get out of that relationship. Ah, he's a bit too wimpy to do anything about his life, i'm betting that will change if a hot girl could walk into his life ... oh here comes one now.
Look at that, she's a perfect 10 and wants to bang a solid 3, must be some ulterior motive for that I bet ... say why hasn't a perfect 10 walked into my life yet and use sex to exploit me?
Did I mention she's hot to look at?
It always helps to have a hot girl to look at when you've written a plot that's guessable by my 8 year old.
So what made the movie watchable? I mean, other than her. Well, the acting was quite good, it moved along at a nice pace, it had car sex ... twice! ... and the girl was hot. Darn it, have I mentioned that one time too many yet?
Oh and Ray Liotta is a nice guy for once, but he looks old. Every actor has a movie where you notice how old he's suddenly gotten, this is 'that' movie for Ray.
Across the street from me here in Bangkok, there's a 711 and beside that a little tiny pharmacy with old jars and glasses behind the rusty old table that serves as a counter. The 80 year old 'pharmacist' takes the cork out of one of those jars and spills 100 Xanax on the glass counter asking how many I need. She drops them into a soup bag, wraps it with an elastic band and hands it over for 100 Baht looking at me with a crooked smile and a twinkle in her eye.
I wonder if she sees me as a hot male version of Michelle Monaghan? Good god, does that mean I have to do it with her in a Tuk-Tuk , twice?
Goon (2011)
So Close to the Truth
If it wasn't for the sweetness of Glatt the hockey goon, or the light humour sprinkled throughout the film it would have hit a little too close to home for me. I was a "LaFlamme" type of player and spent three years of my life terrified at getting seriously hurt every game so this film brought back a lot of memories.
Nobody ever mentions what went down in tryouts when there was no 'team' but rather a free for all, gladiator style scrimmage where little guys like me had to watch our p's and q's or the ice would be painted in our blood by those goons.
As for the story itself, it was simple but the character development made me take enough interest in everybody that it was a pleasure to watch.
It's a movie worthy of two hours of your time. Not just because of the quality of the actors and the script, but because it's very close to the truth of what hockey was like back in the 80's.
A little too close.
Godzilla (2014)
Oh - My - God ...zilla, It's Great!
What? They didn't try to throw in ...
Will Smith type one liners from Independence Day? A hokey USA President 'rally the troops' speech? Sound Effects that make me wish I had brought a bottle of Tylenol?
Thirty minutes into the movie I popped up from my slumped tensive position, uncrossed my arms, and nodded in approval. Still, I was sceptical.
Where is the unneeded love interest sub-plot? Surely the CGIruinedthemovie would show it's ugly face? What, no Matthew Broderick cameo?
A full hour into the movie and what's this? I'm enjoying myself? Heck, there's even a plot and a back story that makes sense. I mean it's not a rich plot like The Godfather, but I didn't go to a monster movie to see Godzilla make the MUTO's an offer they can't refuse.
In the interest of full disclosure the movie was riding along as a solid 8/10 until a 27 year old personal wish was fulfilled by the star of the show Godzilla himself.
"Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-f*g-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-f*k you! ONE! TWO! THREE!"
Thank you Godzilla for finally showing me what that scene would have looked like had Gunnery Sergeant Hartman gone through with his threat. I tacked on 2 stars for a certain enjoyable scene in the movie that parallels my wish.
So I'll admit, a lot of these stars are 'thank god they didn't ruin it' stars.
It wasn't dumbed down for kids. They didn't throw a Jar Jar Binks like character in. I didn't have to time wash-room dashes like i did in LOTR/The Hobbit, the movie actually ended after a reasonable length of time.
Go see it, have fun. You'll enjoy it I'm sure. Oh and FYI ... perfectly imitating Godzilla's roar will undoubtedly end all girlfriend/wife arguments instantly.
C.Lawsum