Change Your Image
barbaravannorde
Reviews
The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024)
This movie already exists, and that one was enough
Went into this with high hopes since the 2008 The Strangers is one of the best scary movies in my opinion. That one was very well paced and despite knowing it is based on a true story, the movie also felt real. The threat felt real and it was a good example of less is more.
This one however, was a disappointment beyond imagination. It appears to be some kind of remake of the the earlier version which did not need an updo.
Since nothing can top the older one for me this was like watching the same movie, but with different actors and some changes in how events occurred. What I found particularly annoying to watch was the extremely botoxed face of the leading actress. And the lipfillers which looked ridiculous and gives the actress a permanent duckface. Some people have been to botched by 'cosmetic' procedures to be on screen portraying an actual person. Imagine her having to cry and look scared all the time in potential life threatening situations, but then without the facial expressions. This made the whole thing look like a joke. So, the main problem is that movie already exists and done better. The second problem is the actress who can no longer show facial expressions and looks deformed.
Love Lies Bleeding (2024)
An embarrassment to film making
Went into this thinking I had no expectations. Turns out I had some, to at least meet a certain standard. The story was written very badly. There was no character to care about. The pace was inconsistent. During the entire movie it was unclear to me if this was intended to be serious or funny. If it was funny it's because it was too unbelievable. Bad on so many levels. The acting was also very bad. Not sure why Kristen Steward still gets casted. She has no repertoire to speak of and it's finally clear to me why, she can't act. She is the same person in every movie clearly not experiencing any of the emotions she is trying to portray.
Tho a matter of taste, I found this movie revolting. The nasty 80's clothes, dirty haircuts, smoking, nasty sexual scènes, bodybuilding bodies. Nothing about it was visually appealing, to say the least. Which doesn't always have to be a problem, but in this movie it was. Again, it was rather unclear if this was supposed to be a celebration of an era, bodytypes, smoking etc. In any case, it was more of an anti-commercial for those days.
Since there was no real story to speak of or any convincing acting I would highly recommend to skip it.
Aku wa sonzai shinai (2023)
A Cure For Insomnia
Let me start by saying that I am always openminded when it comes to arthouse. In my experience there is no grey are with these types of movies, they are either very good or a total miss.
In this case it was the latter.
This movie relies on excruciating long scenes. There is little to no sound, and hardly any talking. This doesn't have to be a problem, but in this movie it was.
One definitely appreciates the scenery in which this movie sets.
For me, it was also intriguing to learn a bit about Japanese social norms.
The music was also good. However, overall this movie is just incredibly boring. I fell asleep for about 15 minutes.
There isn't much to take away from it all, so my advice would be to skip it. Appreciation for nature can be found in many other movies that are not as slow and dull as this one.
Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)
Ladies and gentlemen: We've found the cure for insomnia
Lost for words to be honest.
The story has a lot of potential, tho Scorsese doesn't get the message across.
I get the feeling that this is a very American idea of self criticism, just without the actual criticism.
You can't just throw some money around for big names in the industry and think this will guarantee succes.
This movie is way, way, way, way, way...sorry, I dozed off again, too long to be in theaters. Maybe it was intended, but it feels more like a documentary than a movie.
The long stretched shots are extremely boring and painful to watch.
Me and my compagnon both fell asleep during this movie.
There is little to nothing to stay interested.
After what turned out to be 30 minutes of sleep, it turns out I could still pick up where I left. Didn't miss anything to understand the story or where it's headed.
I kept waiting and waiting and waiting for something interesting to happen, but it never did. Even the ending isn't interesting.
At some point I stopped caring all together, because I just wanted to leave.
Don't be fooled by reviews of people praising this movie, there is nothing artistic I've missed, nothing to discover, it's just plain boring and that's that.
Could have read the entire book while watching excruciatingly slow paced movie instead.
I can definitely appreciate movies with not a lot going on, no bombastic exaggerations and such, but there needs to be at least a tiny bit of entertainment. Or at the very very least, it needs to grab and hold your attention. It's simply didn't have any of that. That's why I think this should be seen as a documentary rather than a film.
Oppenheimer (2023)
Here to tell you the truth because nobody seems to
Even though this film is about developing the atomic bomb, the only thing bombastic about this movie is the lack of substance for a 3 hour sit.
Throughout the movie you'll hear suspenseful music that leads only to anti-climaxes. The dialogues were mediocre at best. Visually, this movie has nothing to offer. (The moment you see the atomic bomb explode in a test you see the faces of the actors instead of the bomb, extremely disappointing after watching minutes of counting down to that moment, and hours before the countdown starts)
As far as Nolan goes, as usual the movie is unnecessary complicated. Skipping through time with flashbacks had no place it this film. It could have easily been told chronologically. But, like I said, there wasn't enough of a story to begin with.
Making you feel like there is any substance, comes from skipping through time and suspenseful music. Though this film probably tries to portray an image of a man who morally questions his own invention, it was too much of another war criminal glorification to me. If I had to describe all of it I would say: too American.
Another movie about communists and corrupt informal lawsuits.
This is definitely one to skip. Could have been a movie made for cable tv broadcasted on a weekday.
The stars are for the actors who had to carry this monstrosity. Plus, as a Dutchie I'm also getting quit tired of filmmakers making the same mistakes over and over again. Confusing the German language for the Dutch language.
Minor details, but if you are going to spend millions on making a movie, get your facts straight.
Game of Thrones (2011)
Entertaining
It took me four attempts to actually keep watching the show. The first three times I couldn't make it through the first four episodes. Too many characters and names to remember. It all felt a bit chaotic to me.
After making it to season three at the fourth attempt I started to appreciate the show. I liked the well written dialogues which contained many eufemistic insults. I also got attached to some characters and the political storyline.
The combination of the long, sometimes a bit dull conversations, with beautiful action shots made the show interesting to me. It's a visually stunning show to watch, from the CGI to the clothes.
Overall I didn't like the amount of female nudity and misogyny. If you are going for useless nudity, do it for both sexes. Especially in the first couple of seasons the show felt a little bit like a soap catered to men. Sometimes even a bit laughable to me. As The World Turns, or The Bold And The Beautiful, but with topics that men are generally more interested in than women. Slowly but surely that got less and it became more substantial for me to watch.
I also found it all a bit too gory, though that's a matter of taste. Given the story and circumstances of the characters, it does not feel out of place. Just unpleasant to watch.
The story contains many taboo subjects like incest, rape and murdering children. While this is al rather unpleasant, there are little to no movies and/or series to compare it to. It therefore feels unique, and I like that the writer and creators of the show did not hold back to portray these subjects.
I enjoyed the occasional plot twists but after getting further into watching the show it became more predictable. But not to the point where it's no longer interesting. The previously mentioned plus sides of the show are enough to keep watching.
I didn't really understand the fuzz about the ending. Every season had some good and less exciting episodes. Though the ending might be somewhat of a disappointment, I didn't see it coming. Without spoiling, I thought it was rather refreshing to not have an expected or typically happy ending for once.
Lots of characters come to pass quickly after each other, but since this show is about fighting and killing as well, the passing of main and much beloved characters only seems realistic. I can appreciate it when the characters you are supposed to root for don't always make it out alive. It's a good thing that the only blueprint for Hollywood endings is finally changed a bit.
True Spirit (2023)
Great story, poorly executed with cringy cgi
Another cheap Netflix production rolled of the conveyor belt. Netflix in general has become a factory of quick produce without any consideration for quality. This story is worth telling, but the acting of most characters is terrible. Feels like you are watching a daily soap. The music in this movie does not add anything to the visuals. Another tragedy is the obvious green screen which you can clearly make out. For a film that is about sailing, the least you can do is try and make it look real by using actual footage on the water and sky. We see a couple of clearly cgi whales and dolphins that are equally cringy. This is for sure a movie you can skip. There's great movies out there about sailing that are worth your while. My suggestion would be to watch 'Adrift' or 'Kon Tiki' instead.
Luckiest Girl Alive (2022)
Sorry, but no
This story has enough substance to turn it into a good movie. However, the execution and acting are quit bad. It feels way to polished in comparison to the trauma that the main character carries. It's also an unnecessary movie. It has been done over and over again, a woman being raped and not being heard but is victim blamed instead. I felt like I was watching a depressing version of The Devil Wears Prada. Filled with voice overs from the main character throughout the movie it feels very fake. This was playing, not acting. Can't rate this higher than 3 stars because similar stories have been told in a more genuine and heartfelt way.
The Bling Ring (2022)
Just don't bother
Begin sceptic from the beginning whether or not to watch this show, my fears of this being bad came true.
It's made to create sensation about a bunch of narcissistic spoiled people who try to portray themselves as victims of circumstances or being influenced by other people to commit crimes. It's everything (like drugs) and everyone's fault but their own. Maybe I am missing the point and this show is supposed to be ironic and emphasize how mentally disturbed these criminals are. Honestly, looking at this makes me feel ashamed about Western civilization. What kind of people have we produced with our so called culture?
In short, skip this. Don't waste your time on watching a bunch of very self absorbed people trying to generate some more publicity and attention. It's not worth it to feel the appeal the show does to somehow empathize with them.
What Is a Woman? (2022)
Strongly biased and unprofessional attitude of the creator
When you watch a documentary you know it is meant to influence you towards a certain opinion. In this documentary it's clear from the start that the creator thinks gender dysphoria is nonsens, an idea that will be backed up by different kinds of educated and non educated people on the subject.
At one point a gender studies professor even calls the creator out for the way he conducts himself during the interview and that he will get no answers if he keeps behaving the way he does.
I could not agree more, both verbal and non verbal communication from Marks side radiates a certain attitude of trying to prove the other person wrong instead of being genuinely interested in the subject and truth seeking. Even though Mark claims to be the a truth seeker he is going against the people he interviews in a rather childish way.
The documentary is of poor quality because it looks like it is meant to cause an outrage instead of gaining knowledge to inform anyone on the subject.
But, truth be told, some fair questions were raised and it is baffling to witness that educated and non educated folks on the subject either can't or are scared to answer the simple question: What is a women? It does shine a light on the rise of gender dysphoria and gender identities and the potential harm that can be done to children without any solid scientific studies to back up the current available treatments and procedures.
Keep Breathing (2022)
Title refers to the survival technique for the viewer
This series is plain awful to watch. The storyline has potential but most of what you are watching wil be flashbacks from the boring leading character. The survival part is very minimal. The acting is mediocre at best. Some of the lines come out as unnatural and unsuited for the situation. The whole series is way to polished. The main character is clearly wearing make-up which is very unrealistic in her situation. The only plus is the minimalistic music and the shots of nature. Overall, definitely one to skip.
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)
Wizarding World deteriorating one movie at a time
It's save to say that it was best if Fantastic Beasts never existed. There simply isn't any substance for a series of five movies. It seems like while writing and filming these movies, nobody knows where it is going.
It's too long, and too boring. Intertwining Fantastic Beasts with original Harry Potter characters seems like the last lifeline for the series. Sad, because it now almost completely relies on the sentiment and succes of Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling doesn't know when to stop. Which was after the last Harry Potter movie. She just keeps on going and is ruining the magic along the way. If you are a Harry Potter fan it's best to do a Matrix 4 move: Just pretend it doesn't exist.
Old (2021)
If I could rate this 0 stars I would have
This movie should not have been released in theaters. This is a movie that could be broadcasted on a wasted night on tv, when you are not really paying any attention to anything. This movie lacks everything that can make it worth your while, like a good storyline, good acting, nice cinematography, but none of this were to be found here. It is an absolute disgrace, I nearly walked out because I could not care less about the ending. My only recommendation would be to skip this one and save yourself some precious time of your life.
American Honey (2016)
Let's not pretend this is good
After 'Kids' and 'Thirteen' we did not need poorly executed wannabee versions like 'Spring Breakers', 'Mid 90's' and 'American Honey'.
It has already been done, nobody is still in shock about a couple of drunk teenagers and a lot of nudity. There is literally no point in telling this story. Cheap thrills.
Suicide Squad (2016)
Not worthy to be called a movie even
What the hell is this? I can't believe that people have actually taken the time to create such garbage.
The only organic thing we see on screen are the people. The rest is one big carnaval.
Constant flashes of lights and noise, it was pure torture watching this. All I was left with was a terrible headache.
Save your time, or it will be two hours of your life wasted that will never come back.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
Movie title revers to JP Franchise
I'm lost for words on how to describe this downfall. It's an abomination in comparison to Jurassic Park and Jurassic World.
Who on earth wrote this idiotic script?! There are too many uninteresting storylines in in one film. The crap about human cloning should be totally left out. That would have been too much of a story for one separate movie. It adds nothing to the dinosaurs' story you want to see when watching Jurassic Park/World.
Judy (2019)
A little bit dissapointed
I was very interested in seeing this film. Unfortunately I thought the acting was quite bad. The whole movie I felt like I was watching a bunch of people that were playing a role and impersonate somebody else. Not so good I may add. With this type of movie I personally need less of the feeling that it's all staged. It did not feel real to me. I did really like the general atmosphere, the clothes, the furniture and everything else that makes you feel like you've gone back in time. It was beautiful to look at.
Eli (2019)
Satanic
I was never a fan of movies that mock faith.
This movie is one of so many movies that have done that before.
In this movie faith is being portrayed as if it were withcraft.
To me this movie is simply an offence to Christianity. Very disturbing.
A part from that all, the story is unnecessary. It has al been done before. I don't. Understand why movies like this are still made even. Same 'scary' stories over and over again. This is a complete waste of time. For sure one of the worst movies I have ever seen.
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
Second hand chewing gum
Please J.K. Rowling, stop destroying the charm of the Wizarding World. Stop creating this crap which feels like second hand chewing gum. Your peak performance had been the Harry Potter series. These kind overreaching movies are deteriorating to all pleasant associations people might have with Harry Potter.
You are destructing your own imperium from the inside out. You don't know when to stop.
It has nothing to do with the stunning visuals or the performances of the actors. There simple isn't anything interesting left for you to tell.
Please stop now for the sake of damage control.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
The Wizarding World comes crumbling down
Please J.K. Rowling, stop whatever it is that your doing. You must have enough money by now. Don't write any more crap which seemed to have rolled from assembly line. There is no inspiration, no story to tell, just disappointed and deception for those who like Harry Potter.
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood (2019)
An absolute disappointment
Admitting that I was unfamiliair with the Charles Manson madness I did do my research after seeing this film.
It made a lot more sense once I knew what this story is based upon.
But, truth be told, this movie is just plain boring.
There was absolutely no need for this movie to be as long as it is. There are so many unnecessary scenes that dragged on forever.
It is proven once more that Tarantino can't rely on his celebrated dialogues all the time because some of them are way too long and way too meaningless.
This movie truely lacks a good story. The actors can't be blamed for the failing of this film. They all did a great job. Margot Robbie's character of Sharon Tate was very boring to watch. Her presence added nothing and every scene with her felt like another stretch to make the movie last even longer. Brad and Leo are a golden combination and perform like one can expect from these professionals.
Unfortunately, the movie needs to rely on unnecessary voilence like most of Tarantino's films. It was hard for me to watch, and to hear how much people seem to enjoy this type op filmmaking.
To me it seems like we are dealing with a one trick pony, not with a director with his own 'style'.
I have not heard one person say they actually thought this is a good movie. On the contrary, this movie is breaking records everywhere on how many people are walking out of the theatre before it is even finished.
As Good as It Gets (1997)
My favorite movie ever
To me, 'As good as it gets' is the meaning of a movie. Transcending emotions.
This movie does nothing more and nothing less then that. The cast is absolutely phenomenal.
The story is simple, it is about ceveral people, with their individual struggles crossings paths. They also have to deal with each other's shortcomings. It shows how individuals can be so different als may not like each other, but are all codependent in the end. I think every human being can relate to this mechanism of interaction between people.
The dialogues are truely the best I've ever seen in a movie. The constant battle of mixed feelings and thoughts one can have towards a person is very well portrayed.
Lots of talk and little action, but ever so interesting to watch.
Stranger Things (2016)
Deteriorates per season
Season 1: Flawless
Season 2: Entertaining but cheap
Season 3: A joke
I don't want to give anything away, but if you are interested in watching this show, just watch the first season only and pretend if the following seasons never happend.
As usual, the writers are lead by the success of the first season. After that it's a mixture of stolen ideas from various iconic movies. Or in other words: nothing new.
Why not just stop after one successful season? This is exactly the reason why I hardly ever try to start watching a serie, and also why I've never finished one. Just write a story, with a beginning and an end which is already set. Don't be lead by the success and push it to the point where people are no longer stunned by the concept. Keep your old chlichés.
Captive State (2019)
Not captivating at all
I usually like movies with not to much action in it. Simplicity can be very strong, even if the storyis big like this one.
However, this movie feels endless, you are waiting for something that is never going to come. It's not a story worth telling.
There are to many characters, and no connection to any of them can be felt. You simply don't care if they live or die. That's because the story lacks detail. You don't really know what's going on, and therefore don't care.
The story had a lot of potential which is now wasted. The very idea of humans being dominated for once is a story that has not been told so often. The execution could have been a lot more refined though
Shame, this is a waste of an oppurtunity, but most of all, time.
Don't go watch this. It'll leave you disappointed. The ending is one to expect as well. Unless you have never watched a movie before you might find it a surprise ending.
Red Joan (2018)
Very disappointing and boring
This movie is not told in a chronological order. The reason for this in unclear. It might as well have been told in chronological order. Because there is a lot of switching in periods of time it is not possible to connect to the characters. I felt no connection to any of the people involved. This is crucial because it's a big story that deserves to be told, but it lacks to intrigue.
This is a movie that you might watch when it's on tv and there is absolutely nothing else to watch. But I can imagine that it would be hard to finish watching it even then.