Dweezilaz Reviews

Babylon (I) (2022)

Overload

[8/10 · 29 December 2022]

There is no reason I was motivated to see this. The ads made no sense. You Tube thumbnails were claiming it was a "flop".

After some investigation, it seemed as if this was an "event" sort of movie that would warrant sitting in a full on theater rather than waiting for it to show up streaming or on DVD.

Old Hollywood. Scandal. Decadence. Period costumes, cars, hair, technology. Ironic. One of the last few films I saw in the theater was a TCM revival of Sunset Blvd.

Hollywood: always at it's best when it's examining itself. Perfect place to be on a rainy day in the desert.

There was a line at 9:45 to get in. On a Tuesday morning. Most were going to Avatar. Five of us went to see Babylon.

Pure overload: visual, aural. Emotional investment in the characters.... neutral. Perhaps that meant that the technical, the production, overwhelmed the participants.

Maybe that was the point: Hollywood, overwhelming and consuming of all players.

No happy endings. Just possible escape to somewhere and from some thing not Hollywood.

If that's the angle, it's brilliant. That's what I got out of it. I was one of those who, raised on a steady diet of old movies followed the well worn path to Hollywood, seeking. What happens when the dream fails? Or never materializes?

The run time was too long. Certain scenes weren't necessary and got in the way. They were there to be shocking and off putting.

They certainly didn't add to the texture of the period. Especially after the decadent Old Hollywood point had already been made. Once, twice, half a dozen times.

I won't spoil it. Once you watch you'll know.

The montage at the end was suffocating and I had to consciously refrain from getting up and leaving, clearly a physical reaction to what I had seen, the sounds and length of time spent watching. Perhaps the sense of time passing, things ending, speed and sound all conspired to trigger an unnerving personal response, having lived my own Hollywood experience.

Not a comfortable way to leave the theater.

And maybe that was the point.

Music: evocative of the era but not directly lifted from the '20s. Relentless. One of the best parts of the movie.

I liked Pitt as usual, especially after seeing him in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. Robbie I was not familiar with, but whatever she's in next, I'll watch. Hers was a creation evocative of that time, like the soundtrack. Of that world but not a clone or creation of it. Diego Calva was fascinating as were Li Jun Li and Jovan Adepo. Jean Smart stole her scenes, every time.

There was an unreal level of talent here. Effort. Detail.

And today, I am still trying to sort out what I saw.

It remains overwhelming. Partly I wanted to take a bath afterward. Yet I liked it.

I know I want to see it again, like I did the The Damned, Once Upon A Time and Day Of The Locust. But it will be awhile. There was so much I missed, and it bears further examination. But I need some distance before that happens.

I'll own a copy of it when it's released on DVD But I can still do without certain scenes.

There is one thing: Hollywood has made so many garbage movies about Hollywood -Inside Daisy Clover, Harlow-, I'd take 20 minutes of Babylon over two hours of either of those.

One can tell that a lot of care, time and money went into making something unique and special here.

The Devil's Rain (1975)

Noisy & Stupid

[2/10 · 20 September 2022]

I saw this at the drive in when it came out. Nothing stood out about it over the decades.

It was featured on Svengoolie a few weeks back and I tried to get reacquainted with it

It took two attempts just to get 45 minutes into it and after putting up with the idiotic story line and obnoxious constant noise I gave up.

It's unwatchable. Maybe that's why I gave up. Terribly irritating. Poorly acted. Stupid.

And I have pretty low standards for horror movies.

What a waste of a well seasoned cast.

The story has something to do with devil worshipers, an ancient book, some church out in the desert and some wax droppings.

Bad. But not bad in a fun way.

The Sex Symbol (1974 TV Movie)

Any Resemblance Between

[3/10 · 17 April 2022]

Connie Stevens and Marilyn Monroe are purely coincidental.

Truly awful even for a 70s TV movie.

Thinly disguised bio of Marilyn Monroe.

I first saw this when it aired and recently discovered the uncut European version on YouTube. I remember all the hype and the feature in TV Guide.

Sorry, Hollywood. Just like the remake of The Postman Always Rings Twice, the gratuitous nudity added to get butts in seats doesn't improve your product. No one missed anything.

Set in 1957, this movie is loaded with usual Hollywood period laziness, as if the producers think the audience is too stupid to notice all the anachronisms in hair, make-up, clothing, cars, and fashion that are straight out of 1974.

As bad as Harlow. As thin and poorly written. Either version, Baker's or Lynley's.

Check out the mirror scene toward the end. The same thing was done in Harlow as well. Is it the obligatory scene in every Hollywood star on the way down script?.

Tacky, cheap, lurid clap-trap.

Connie Stevens is all in and over the top but is given no direction to dial it back and by the middle of the movie sounds like a yapping lapdog rather than a troubled soul crying out for help. Still, I can't hate on Connie Stevens. This was the director's call and the director muffed it.

Her Kelly Williams comes off as a tedious shrew. Full of fire and music and perky energy, but a shrew nonetheless.

Shelley Winters is so bad she stumbles over her lines. Perhaps that was a stab at some Hedda Hopper or Louella Parsons type character development. Whatever it was, it looks like a lack of budget for retakes and flubs that were kept in for no good reason.

It is a terrible movie. But it does have one major thing going for it. As with Connie Stevens, every member in the cast is fully engaged, and sincere, and says their lines with the most earnest professionalism. Well, minus Shelly Winters who seems to have just wandered on to the set for the paycheck.

It's funny, Winters was made for that role and could really have chewed the scenery with it. The opportunity was right there.

For the rest, they actually believe the garbage that was written for them to say and treat it as if it was the finest dialog ever written.

That makes it fun, as the story, not Monroe's life, but the screenplay is composed of such cliches the performer's sincerity makes it enjoyable enough.

The gratuitous nude scene toward the end? An excuse to show some mams. No one takes off their clothes, puts on earrings and high heels and climbs into bed yaknowwhatI'msayin?

Maybe it was the producer's attempt at softening the brittle main character a bit.

More likely a play to get publicity by flashing some flesh.

Garbage. Not sure it's even fun garbage, but it's a 70s curio that's rarely seen and I do wish there had been a better print than the one I saw.

Connie Stevens is nice to look at. Respectable work by the cast except for the previously mentioned Winters.

Cynical telling of the Monroe Legend. A drive in movie that somehow made it to the small screen.

Definitely, this is a terrible movie. But here I am writing a review about it, so it can't have been such a waste of time.

Shadows in the Night (1944)

Surprisingly Bad

[2/10 · 13 November 2020]

Flaccid. Incoherent. I don't know what movie other reviewers saw but this was truly a mess. Not enough of a motivator in the plot to generate all the mayhem and is never fully explained. Well it's explained and the explanation is absurd and unrealistic. You Tube has all the Crime Doctor movies available, which is where I found this one. I will watch another one as the cast was good in this particular offering. Very atmospheric. Looked like it had potential. What a dud. Many thanks to the other reviewers of this picture for the historical background on the series. Your synopses of the movie were far more interesting than the film itself. I found it trite, un-engaging and ridiculous. My opinion only. No one has to agree with me. I'll give the series another chance though.

The Night Strangler (1973 TV Movie)

Anyone For Some Ham ?

[4/10 · 7 August 2020]

Ham acting, ham handed directing, what is supposed to pass for comedy is over the top All In The Family type screaming.

It is atmospheric. Nicely moody. Well photographed. But these 8,9 and 10 ratings are comical. This movie is just not that good.

The only subtle performances in this tripe are by Virginia Peters as Nina Wayne's character's husband, Wally Cox as a newspaper morgue employee and John Carradine as a newspaper publisher.

Their subtlety just makes the raging of Darren McGavin, Simon Oakland and Scott Brady look like it could easily pass for Pink Flamingos and Female Trouble John Waters style of raving.

Except, Waters' actors were more genuine and believable.

Awful. Just awful, but there are just enough interesting aspects and characters to keep one interested. The leads were misdirected

Dan Curtis should have stayed with cop shows.

This movie does not deserve any of the fawning praise that it gets, especially for the lead actors. We know they're actually very good. We've seen them in other movies and TV shows. Their substandard performances in this are surprising. Inexplicably bad acting by very good actors

The Pit and the Pendulum (2009)

The Pit & The Pablum

[3/10 · 10 June 2020]

Where to begin.... There's a terrible meandering script with horrible dialogue. No tension, no atmosphere, zero attempt at mood. Too brightly lit. Certainly not for a sinister, foreboding theme like this. It's more appropriate for a college sex comedy. Rather than a spooky abandoned insane asylum there's this well kept mansion where all the action occurs. It must be somewhere in the Land of the Midnight Sun because when people are talking about turning in after a long day the sun is still high in the sky. No attempt is made to create a sense of time passing yet there are clocks everywhere. The cast is adequate. You'll recognize Tom Sandoval from Vanderpump Rules. They manage to adequately deliver the outrageous and pooorly written lines with some sense of credibility. But there is none of the enthusiasm and gusto that used to be found in the old drive style movies American International in the '60s. Actors had some enthusiasm and turned the most outrageous dialogue into believable conversation using energy and total sincerety. An exception is Amy Paffrath who seems genuine, delivers a characterization that's somewhat alive and bright. Then one gets to the lead, Lorielle New. I tuned this in because she is so .... spooky. Like a drag version of Marie Windsor, she is the most sinister and scary aspect of the movie and it's not in the script or writing but in those awful cheek and lip implants which seem to get in the way of delivering her lines. And in one blue lit scene where the two students are wrestling her face looks as unnerving as that of Faye Dunaway in the coat hanger scene in Mommie Dearest. Other times she looks like those blue mid century prints of Asian women that decked the walls of the room children were never allowed to enter. Sorry. It doesn't look good. It's a distraction and that orange hair with the Moe Howard bangs is not an asset. So get the hook for the make up artist and hairdresser. Go back to work at that strip mall salon in Barstow where you belong. Additionally, even with her long list of credits, Ms. New has no gift for working with props. Not pocket watches, table utensils, shawls, whips. Everything is just a dead weight in her hands rather than an opportunity to explore how the character would handle those things. For New, they just get in the way for the next costume change. What someone else could have done sitting in that chair with her boobies hanging out and that whip watching two hot guys wrestle. Tragic lost acting opp. Sad that one would go to such lengths to mutilate one's face to appease the gods of Youth and Hollywood. It says something a lot greater about Tinsel Town than it does Edgar Allen Poe and The Pit and the Pablu.. The irony is New is a genuine Hollywood original, I'll give her that. Like Angelyne, Edy Williams and the Black Dahlia all rolled into one. I cannot help but be fascinated by her. Maybe that's the point. This is an awful film, but the people were good looking and the soundtrack would not have been out of place in an A or B picture. It was the most professional and effective part of the movie. Mind Numbing Twaddle. My 3 stars is generous because of the soundtrack, New [she's a mess] and some effort expended. Anyone can throw 100 or so million at producing a movie. It takes some bit of skill to do it for a tiny fraction of that amount.

The Swarm (1978)

Big Budget, High Concept, Star Studded Hollywood Claptrap

[2/10 · 7 July 2018]

One of the worst movies I have seen in my lifetime. And I really love bad movies.

So stupid, this stinker provokes one to almost the point of anger for it's terrible writing, editing, cheese effects, ham acting and and zero tension.

Characters appear and disappear as quickly as a scene changes never to be referenced again. The script is incoherent. The sense of time makes it appear as if it takes place over the course of a day.

And then the alleged stars:

Olivia de Havilland, perhaps the single most overrated actress in the history of movies giving her saccharine sweet First Lady Of The Silver Screen yet another gag worthy performance. After seeing half of It's Love I'm After and turning it off midway because of de Havilland and her interpretation of a love sick ingenue as a mentally challenged 12 year old girl and her nauseating turn in Gone With The Wind I was expecting maturity would meake her less sickening on screen. Time didn't dull that phony facade, but just added more layers. Grating and obnoxious. Gag worthy sweetness and lofty Grand Dame delivery of amateur night dialog free with every ticket.

Henry Fonda acted like he was one one the zombies in Night Of The Living Dead.

Don't blink you'll miss Patty Duke.

And the always bitter and angry Lee Grant is on hand as a news reporter appears and promptly disappears in the face of a massive story about killer bees.

Katherine Ross seemed only to care about hair and makeup as all the close ups suggest there was not a thing going on in her head during filming. Zero. No tension, fear, worry. Still a Stepford Wife all those years later.

Richard Widmark plays Hollywood's favorite bombastic military stereotype without stepping out of the narrow confines of the script's likely description of the character and comes off worse than even Henry Fonda.

Michael Caine managed to keep his dignity, sort of.

Stupid and insulting to the viewer. No real special effect except bee hallucinations. No make up to shock and wake up the viewer. People are totally pristine after getting savaged by thousands of bees.

No chilling shots of swelling, or even redness to add fear and dread for the viewer.

And what sort of idiots use flame throwers inside a building to kill bees ?

MIA: Richard Chamberlain, Bradford Dillman, Fred MacMurray, Ben Johnson and Cameron Mitchell. You know some celebrity was on the screen, but after they leave a scene it's hard to remember who it was, the characters are so thinly drawn, dialog so stupid and purpose so ill defined.

Cynical audience insulting garbage from start to finish. On the level of Wet Hot American Summer and I'll take Sweden: sub standard wastes of time.

Warning: do not allow children under the age of 18 to watch. Great chunks of IQ will be destroyed never to be seen again.

By the end of it I was rooting for the bees to wipe out these weapons grade stupid humans.

All I wanted to say by the end of it was up every one of the participants in this zero grade schlock. Should have been called The Snore.

Wasp Woman was a better bee movie. Except, wasps.

Boy, Did I Get a Wrong Number! (1966)

Didn't Deserve Inclusion in "50 Worst Films"

[4/10 · 6 July 2018]

Relative to Bob Hope films, that honor should have gone to I'll Take Sweden, a smarmy non-sex no comedy farce.

Not as bad as I remember, funny in places.

But I couldn't get past Elke Sommers' and Marjorie Lord's hair. Their whipped frenzy bouffants made Phyllis Diller's egg beater 'do look normal. They literally distracted from the scenes the actresses were in.

See Lana Turner's hair hat in Bachelor In Paradise for more of the same.

Really dumb. Harmless. And nowhere near a 50 Worst contender.

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

Las Vegas Hillibillies A Far Better Movie

[1/10 · 29 June 2018]

The absolute worst movie I have ever seen. And yes, I do have a sick sense of humor.

One reviewer likened referred to it being Monty Pythonesque. In no universe would that statement be true. MP was funny, written by people with intelligence and a true sense of absurdist humor. Despite what post humor comedians - the not funny is funny crowd - think, not funny is not funny.

If one did not "get" MP it was understandable.

To claim that someone does not get WHAM is to make excuses for unfunny "comedy" and to make the claimant look as if the reviewer has some superior level of cinematic taste. A poseur move if ever there is one.

Another said it parodied itself at times. There's no way. The writing, directing and acting didn't provide the intelligence to do any such thing.

None of the people involved in this movie from script supervisor to star should be allowed to ever work again in the movie industry.

The production costs vs the box office returns tells one everything that needs to be known about this air and soul sucking cinematic pile.

Cult Classic ? Again, in what universe ? That's something invented by the PR firm when posting bogus reviews after it's release.

Amy Poehler was the single professional in this entire self indulgent mess.

0 from me if I could. A 10 for people who find humor from a plugged toilet.

It's not comparable to Monty Python in any way shape or form.

As for "cult classic" ? Only if you're a member of The People's Temple.

Worse than garbage.

Small Is Beautiful: A Tiny House Documentary (2015)

Dreary

[2/10 · 3 March 2017]

I am a big proponent of the idea of being out of, avoiding and being independent from debt. Housing is the biggest hit to one's income and I thought I could learn something from this documentary.

That never happened.

Good grief. What a miserable bunch of people. None of them looked happy about anything much less providing any insight on debt and the building of a tiny house.

One can get a park model manufactured home with actual plumbing and electricity for less than these cuckolds spent building what are essentially glorified dumpsters.

They've convinced themselves their failure to launch is success and the rest of us are just greedy insular slobs.

When you fall out of that loft bed in the middle of the night, perhaps some sense and real self awareness will come along with it.

I've lived in small spaces. I love houses on wheels and surroundings that would remain the same when I move. Doing more with less. Efficiency.

If one is looking for inspiration in the search to live debt free or embrace small space living, you won't find it here. There is no inspiration in this movie.

Nor is there even a personal philosophy presented that would persuade anyone to give up even a 1000 square foot apartment, condo or house. Just self indulgent pondering and deep thoughts about, like, life, y'now.

Zombies are a real thing and four of them are featured in this movie.

Avoid. Totally wretched film.

Roller Boogie (1979)

Wretched, Even For Bad Movie Fans

[2/10 · 14 July 2016]

I saw this at Graumans Chinese on Hollywood Blvd when it came out. Because a friend wanted to go. Caught it again the other night and was surprised as I could remember nothing about it from the first time, it's that bad.

Linda Blair shows zero acting skill, which is a surprise as she had a good number of credentials behind her. And never ever wear ankle straps when you're big legged like that, Linda. Even EYE know that.

With the exception of Cher singing "Hell ON Wheels", the soundtrack is dreary Z grade disco schlock. Embarrassing. As is the skating. It's like disco dancing in slow motion, such is boogying in roller skates.

The comedy bits are contrived and labored. The plot points are borrowed from so many movies from the silents to the modern era: Evil developer plans to destroy roller rink to make big bucks on a high rise. Kids save the day. The same plot was used in "Six Pack Annie" with a more risqué solution to "saving the day".

Best scene was the always professional Beverly Garland as Linda Blair's Mother, sitting on the stairs stressing out and pulling pill bottles out of her purse: diuretic, diet pills, quaaludes just to find her valium. The only laugh in the entire picture.

The only positives:seeing Venice Beach in the raw, 1979 style and the 70s fashion drek.

There's plenty of it as much of the action takes place on location on the beach, but that's hardly enough to hold one's interest given the wretched soundtrack, strained attempts at comedy and leaden skating scenes.

I love bad movies as much as anyone, but this doesn't even reach the level of being a bad movie entertainment. It's just irritating.

The Thin Man (1957–1959)

An Interesting Time Capsule

[27 May 2016]

Get TV just started running episodes of The Thin Man and at first I found I couldn't watch more than a few minutes before moving on to something else.

Eventually I got around to watch an entire episode and was fascinated. Not only are the prints crystal clear and without blemish, but the cars, clothes and guest stars are fascinating.

Then I became unable to take my eyes off spooky Phyllis Kirk with her Moe Howard bangs, crazy eyes and painted over Mommie Dearest Mouth. I remembered her from an appropriately creepy episode of The Twilight Zone'

After that came great pleasure from her reedy, yet husky voice and the wardrobe by Helen Rose.

Add in Peter Lawford and loving close-ups of both, and the thin plots and story lines become secondary.

The dialog is pretty witty for 50s TV, far better than the dumbed down lines in a great many TV shows of the 60s.

Flawed but a lot of fun. I think I'd buy the series if it ever comes to DVD to go along with another 50s favorite: Perry Mason.

The George Raft Story (1961)

Surprising

[6/10 · 27 May 2016]

I had expected this film to be a standard, clichéd Hollywood On Hollywood movie and was prepared to dump it if it was as dumb as I expected.

Surprising that it had pretty exceptional entertainment value and a very good cast.

As a period piece set in the late twenties I expected the usual 6os clothes and make-up, but for the most part, the details were pretty good. Minus a couple of bouffants and a couple of women in that cast who appeared to have been teleported from 1959 with their flips. Think Laura Petrie style in Dick Van Dyke.

Poor directing showed in Jayne Mansfield's scenes. One of the key things an actor learns is to communicate his lines clearly so the audience understands what the actor is saying. While it isn't the director's job to teach a professional how to act, for the sake of the film, one would expect that slowing down Jayne's speech and diction would have been a priority.

Jayne Mansfield was a relatively toned down version of herself, but still self absorbed in trying to be sexy rather than delivering a character portrayal. As such, she really sucked at portraying a living breathing human being.Jayne Mansfield playing Jayne Mansfield playing a character named Lana.

Julie London was quite good both as an actress and singer. Her scenes were natural and sincere.

Lots of period music, rather than studio schlock, dancing and an upbeat and clever number by Barbara Nichols that was a standout.

Glad I didn't dump it before I gave it a chance. Lots of fun.Maybe because I didn't expect it to be some sort of serious and definitive biography of George Raft made it the harmless entertainment I found it to be.

Carefree (1938)

Carefree A Snoozical

[4/10 · 15 May 2016]

Many have described this movie as a screwball comedy. It is far too lumbering in it's pace, dialog and timing to be any such thing.

It has a few good musical numbers in it that break up the tedium, but wastes a fine cast in beyond ridiculous situations.

Ginger Rogers looks fantastic but her attempts at comedy while her character is under anesthesia look like a community theater amateur trying to be funny. Embarrassing.

Same thing in her scene with Fred Astaire, as a psychiatrist, where she invents a dream to convince him she needs her help. The lines aren't funny,Rogers looks as if the director told her to improvise and the audience gets the message that her improvisational skills are all in her feet.Not good. And not amusing in any way.

For prime examples of screwball comedy seek out My Man Godfrey, Bombshell. or more recently What's Up Doc. Any earlier Astaire/Rogers movie will do as well.

The musical numbers are what one would expect and certainly up to the pair's skills. The rest of it could have used a good editor. Or writer. Your fast forward button will have to do.

Better than many but a stinker for these two.

Platinum Blonde (1931)

Platinum Dud

[2/10 · 15 May 2016]

Early Jean Harlow. Amazing she went anywhere after this. The picture was dull, stagy and unfunny.

The leading man who gets so much praise in reviews is pallid and irritating. Low key to the point of barely being able to fill an iPhone screen.

The primary interest is seeing Jean Harlow in one of her first films, but the novelty wears off quickly. Seeing her in Bombshell not long after watching this dud, one can only wonder at the transformation from corpse to flesh and blood screen magic.

An early sound curio and nothing more. even Frank Capra can have an off day. It's okay to say it stinks, rather than pretend this movie has some deep artistic value at it's core. A dud is a dud.

The Impossible Years (1968)

Impossible Years?

[1/10 · 28 October 2015]

Impossible to watch. But I managed to stick with it.

Like an R rated Brady Bunch episode and with much the same low brow comedy writing as that show provided.

This was dated in 1968 and looking at it in 2015 one can only wonder how did such an intensely unfunny, contrived and stupid film ever get made ?

I'm currently reading Dream Maker The Rise and Fall Of John Delorean and DVRed this to see Christina Ferrare, his eventual third wife. Jr High school grade acting ability.

Unfunny lines, ridiculous characters, lame slapstick: the only thing worth watching is David Niven's deftness in bringing believability to what he's saying.

Should be interesting to see David Niven in Eye Of The Devil introducing Sharon Tate and compare her debut with Ferrare's back to back.

The studio rock and roll tracks are typically annoying.

Not even fun as a period piece. The abounding stupidity all around is a total amusement killer.

The Girl in Black Stockings (1957)

Unusual Cast

[4/10 · 19 September 2015]

Lex Barker, Marie Windsor, Anne Bancroft, Mamie Van Doren, score by Les Baxter,Stuart Whitman in a tiny role, directed by Howard Koch.

Filmed like a Perry Mason episode, the movie is interesting but has no real tension, drama and a flaccid climax. And talk, lots and lots of talk. It will be the destruction of pictures, I tell ya.

It's still fun to watch, though. Eye candy for any persuasion: Lex Barker in swim trunks and Mamie Van Doren in skin tight dresses.

Anne Bancroft early in her career. Given her later work and stature it would have seemed a long shot if this picture was any predictor.

Marie Windsor is always a treat, but largely wasted in this as her wheelchair bound brother's caregiver.

Easy to guess the perpetrator in this one, but still fun to watch.

Goof: Lex Barker takes off in a 56 Chrysler which turns into a 55 Chrysler during the same trip, then back again into a 56 Chrysler as he pulls up to his location.

New Year's Evil (1980)

Waste Of Time

[2/10 · 30 August 2015]

Roz Kelly is totally miscast in this. Like Helen Reddy hosting the "Midnight Special". Think Disco Granny rather than "New Wave" icon. Her character is so unsympathetic one hopes the killer does the audience a favor and succeeds in his evil plan.

Best parts of the movie are the opening scenes of the late 70s early 80s Hollywood Blvd cruising ritual.

After that it's all downhill.

Muddled plot, loose ends. The logistics of doing a murder in each time zone is something not even the most prolific serial killer in history could pull off. Too many plot machinations to allow the viewer to suspend disbelief unless he's on some mind altering substance while viewing.

1408 (2007)

1408 Equals 0

[2/10 · 4 August 2015]

Terrible overproduced movie. $2,500,000 blown on another Stephen King story. A waste of time, talent and money.

No tension, atmosphere or horror. Good premise ruined by ridiculous overproduction and events.

I gave this movie a "2" because it was slightly better than "Graveyard Shift", another Stephen King stinker.

If I'd known this was based on an SK story, I'd never have wasted the time.

Most horrific effect was the nail fungus on Samuel L Jackson's thumb in the closing scenes.

Shadow of Suspicion (1944)

Surprising B Picture.

[15 July 2015]

Fast paced and unexpectedly funny. A pleasant surprise after having recently watched "The Wall" and "The Fix", two dark noir dramas of the forties.

Synopsis has already been supplied by better writers than I am, so I'll just say this one checks all the boxes for a B Movie fan.

Directed by William Beaudine, produced by Monogram and shot in a sparse but entertaining style with attractive leads and interesting character actors. Many of these "unknowns" had long careers in the industry.B movie gold.

Clara Blandick,as Mother Randall,for instance, is best known as Auntie Em in the Wizard Of Oz.

She also delivers the best line in the entire movie to Jim Dale the leading man played by Peter Cookson: "I think you're a dick!"

Monogram delivers the best with the least with this one.

Even flubbed lines are kept in the final cut, such was the style of William "One Take" Beaudine.

Frank J Randall played by Pierre Watkin, on the arrival of the necklace: "The jewels are here the express is coming." Rather than the reverse "The express is here, the jewels are coming." You can tell it throws off Edward G Northrup portrayed by Tim Ryan but he keeps the scene going.

I always find the Bs more creative with tiny budgets and quick shooting schedules and a roster of actors on the way up and on the way down still chasing that Hollywood Dream.

Also recognizable in an uncredited role is Cyril Delevanti, one of the jewelry store employees and recognizable from several Twilight Zone and Alfred Hitchcock Presents episodes as well as Thriller and One Step Beyond. Another "unknown" with a long career and part of the pleasure of watching these lost gems.

Harmless and entertaining.

Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Unchilling Chiller

[3/10 · 17 March 2012]

Thought this one would have been worth getting out of the house, paying admission and going to see on the big screen.

Boy was I wrong. Thankfully all I spent on this piece was time.

The premise sounded solid: young upwardly mobile loan officer has a curse thrown on her after she refuses an extension on an old woman's mortgage payments.

Sounds like an opportunity for some really scary scenes, themes and creepy images that will stick with you long after the movie is over.

Wish that was true. Producers use the same bit three times during the movie, a bit that was not scary the first time, just gross to be gross.

Nothing integral to the plot or that heightens the tension or shocks and horrifies, just things that show up like fake vomit to disgust rather than as the result of the character's pursuit of of her objective: to get the curse thrown off.

Lots of little, cheap stunts like that, moments the viewer just knows someone sat up during a production meeting and said " How cool would this be if we did XXXXX ? Real gross out man. Those kids will be talking about it for years !"

Another element that works against the movie is that it is filmed and lit like a TV sitcom: too bright, too colorful, too sunny. There seems to be no attempt to create a mood of foreboding, an atmosphere of tension and fear.

Gross out scenes can never take the place of something creepy, and disturbing happening as if all around the viewer.

Cheap shocks can't take the place of a movie experience where the viewer can actually imagine themselves in the same situation.That is the province of actual film making and is created via lighting, music, plot line, pacing and camera angles.

For instance the medium Alison Lohman and Justin long visit,Dileep Rao looks,sounds and acts like a salesmen from the Men's Wearhouse suit chain rather than a charismatic envoy of the supernatural world.

Nice cast, potentially interesting plot,some nice moments, acting is believable in most cases and a genuinely worthwhile plot twist along the way make the movie passably entertaining, but certainly no classic.

Filmed in too bright and brittle a manner to be a truly scary horror film.The lighting alone destroys the possibility of ever making the viewer a participant in the heroine's terror or even to win sympathy for her.

The rest of it is just silly filler posing as scary movie elements. Disappointing. Would be a "horror classic" if one saw it at age 8.

The Descendants (2011)

Ugh

[2/10 · 24 February 2012]

Contrived film whose only saving grace is the scenery. Filled with outrageous plot lines, unbelievable and repulsive characters, I kept wishing a tsunami would come onshore and sweep these hateful and foul mouthed people out to sea.

Predictable and PC ending to one of the movie's key plot points.

A sorry waste of time, sleazy, smarmy and unbelievable. People only act this way in Hollywiood movies where some sort of "deep" meaning is suggested.

Scenes are contrived around what is supposed to be intelligent and serious dialog pay offs.Obvious and pure twaddle.

George Clooney trots out his grim face to show us all he's being a serious dramatic actor. Facts of Life is calling George, you're way over rated and so is this film.

The characters and plot line in this teleplay were so unappealing and completely outside the realm of possibility, I actually felt like I had to bathe after watching this nasty bit of cinema.

An hour could be edited out of this trip to celluloid hell and never be missed.

Two stars for the photography.

Phony, overwrought plotting, unsympathetic and unredeemable characters, hateful,sleazy unbelievable premise and resolution..... A wretched experience and time I will never get back again.

What a waste.

Einer frisst den anderen (1964)

Jayne's Last Good Film ?

[10/10 · 27 January 2012]

This film had all the elements of a film gone wrong:an international cast,standard heist plot,Euro pop/jazz soundtrack,ham handed action and Jayne Mansfield. Could any film project have been more predestined to be awful?

I was expecting so much worse. Imagine the surprise of discovering how much fun this movie was with all of it's sorry bits working together in some sort of obtuse harmony.

The dialog is over the top outrageous. Check these three prizes just from the trailer:

"Crackers, it's just mad money"....

"You are rude dirty and ugly. We do not cater to rude,dirty,ugly men. Get out."

Or better yet: Madame Benoit:"Where did you get this stuff? It's dishwater." Bartender: "It's the prunes, Madame.Since Socialism they don't let the peasants crush them with their feet any more. It impairs the flavor." Madame Benoit: "It's still dishwater."

And those are just a few of a beginning to end feast of howlers. How could one not love dialog like this ? It's so absurd it's almost genius.

To think Arthur Miller worked so hard on "The Misfits".I will have to watch the film again just to catch all the gems.

And yet: Jayne Mansfield was never again more natural, seeming to have dispensed with the "Divoon" Marilyn parody and almost playing it straight.

It could be the dubbing that made her seem more part of an ensemble rather than a running gag. Someone else dubbed her voice.It works and the dubbing is very well done for a 60s Euro film, everything is in harmony.

It's an awful film on so many levels, but consistently awful from plot to soundtrack, to dialog. It's a package deal that works on all those levels because of it's awfulness. It's what makes "Dog Eat Dog" fun.

The cast is interesting and watchable, the heavy breathing dialog worthy of John Waters, the euro artiness of it gives it an air of sophistication, even legitimacy that was probably never intended.

An accident of a film: accidentally entertaining. One of those "so bad it's good" films. Perfect for a double bill with Elizabeth Taylor's "The Driver's Seat".

Such a surprise to find it so entertaining as I was definitely expecting to feel depressed after watching Jayne Mansfield in it,as I did with "Las Vegas Hillbillies", "The Fat Spy" and "Single Room Furnished".

Maybe this one was Jayne's last great film. Like Marilyn's "The Misfits".

Would definitely watch it again.

Not a waste of time at all. Definitely worth seeing.

The Driver's Seat (1974)

Doesn't Deserve The Rep It's Gotten

[8/10 · 24 May 2009]

I first saw this movie on VHS with a friend. He used it for comedic commentary and I never really got to see it as it was intended. Years later I found it doubled with Lovers & Liars a Goldie Hawn movie that she made in Italy in the the dollar rack at Target.

Funny thing is, even with my friend's mindless babbling through the whole picture,the movie and very many of it's scenes are still vivid 20 years later.

Watched it again last night for the first time since and found it to be a totally enjoyable, atmospheric, creepy and unsettling movie. And strangely up to date. I don't think I have been so satisfied with the entire package of a movie in a long time. It has a lot more depth and storyline than the critics have given it credit.It doesn't deserve the drubbing it has gotten.

Having seen all three of Liz's "Overseas Adventures Series": "Nightwatch","Ash Wednesday" and now "The Driver's Seat",this one is the most interesting and entertaining of the set.

My first viewing of it was hampered by the performance of my friend trying to turn it into some "camp classic". He obviously believed the reviews and took them to heart.

If you have a preconceived notion of this movie, it's wrong. Watch closely and find out. You can't take your eyes off it and it's impact will linger for a long time after. Sonmetimes even 20 years !!!