loafer2 Reviews

Club Dread (2004)

Nothing to Dread

[6/10 · 9 August 2005]

At first viewing of this comedy by Jay Chandrasekhar I dismissed it as a completely cheesy and off-the-wall spoof movie we have all seen many times already, and I was right! The biggest difference is that this fun film tries to be something all it's own, while still spoofing all the ridiculous slasher movies from the 80s. Bill Paxton was hilarious in this movie! It makes me completely forgive him for being in Titanic.

I'm not going to go on and on about this film. I'll simply say that if you are looking for another Super Troopers movie, you will not find it here. But Broken Lizard delivers a pretty entertaining movie that will not disappoint those looking for a fun ride.

Titanic (1997)

Titanic Disaster!

[5/10 · 3 August 2005]

This is one of those films that was so over-rated when it was first released it is not even funny. It is very interesting to note that even though this film garnered so many Academy Awards, you don't see it on any critic's top ten list and it's not even in this site's top 250! How could this be, you ask? The answer is that this is a classic example of people over reacting to the greatness of a film before really looking deeply into it. This is not even a remotely accurate portrayal of events that occurred during the Titanic's tragic maiden voyage. Instead, it is just a bunch of tripe put together by an action director. You can tell, there are many out of place witty moments that simply do not belong in a film such as this. The characters were annoying and two dimensional and you felt no compassion at all when these people were sinking out at sea. Actually, these people were a bunch of arrogant jerks that deserved to die! The film simply did not show enough of the poor people in the under decks to even give a damn about them, they just showed far too much of Jack and Rose in all their silly Blue Lagooniness.

This film really did have potential, it really did, and it's not even all bad. The second half of the film with the boat sinking is some of the best action ever to be put on film. But this was not enough to save this film from sinking into mediocrity. I have to give James Cameron props for trying his skillful hand at drama, but man, go back to making action films--that is definitely your strong suit.

Mortal Kombat (1995)

Mortal is right! Hollywood killed this mortal!

[3/10 · 3 August 2005]

Being that this is a film based on a video game, one can only expect so much. This is one of those films that could have been so much better if they would have stuck more to the draw of the video game, which I hate to say, that is violence. When first finding out that the film would be PG-13, I figured this was the beginning of the end for this film. I know that the studio wants to make money, but come on! This is Mortal Kombat! It needs to be chock full of blood and "finishing moves." Instead this was just a cheap martial arts film filled with horrible acting and crummy directing. The only finishing move I was looking forward to while watching this stinker was the end credits!

Fly Away Home (1996)

A Beautiful Journey

[10/10 · 3 August 2005]

This film can easily be heralded as one of the best family films of all time, but honestly it is much more than that. This is one of the most beautiful films ever conceived, and could move even the most rigid of people. The film's power lies in the interactions between father(Jeff Daniels) and daughter(Anna Paquin). Their portrayal of these characters is truly heartfelt and magnificent to watch especially with your own children. Easily the best of Jeff Daniels career and maybe even the young Ms. Paquin. The other power is in the gorgeous cinematography. Words cannot describe the beauty of the landscapes captured by Caleb Deschanel.

Fly Away Home is not just a family film, it is a work of art that can be enjoyed by anyone with a soul. A definite rarity among films these days.

Fantastic Four (I) (2005)

Fantastic for the Fanatics only

[5/10 · 3 August 2005]

This film, in my opinion, just did not make the cut in the ever so trendy current flux of comic book films coming out of Hollywood. While the film was mildly entertaining and witty it was just a mediocre summer action film for the family. The film seemed to try too hard to get the audience involved in the sub-standard plot that was derived from the comic books. There was cliché after cliché involving the heroes that was just a tad too ridiculous to take seriously at all. The villain just wasn't maniacal enough to make it interesting and there wasn't nearly enough heroism. Instead, the heroes were just annoying and selfish. The character development was nil, I felt as though I didn't even know who these people were that turned into these unique individuals with neat powers. It was just thrown together too quickly. If you love the comic books or just like comic book films in general, by all means see this film. Otherwise, don't bother, as the special effects are not enough to save this mediocre film from being a boring and inane film.

The Devil's Rejects (2005)

Tootie-f*cking-fruity

[10/10 · 3 August 2005]

This, the semi-sequel to House of 1000 Corpses, is an instant classic in the tradition of "The Wild Bunch", "Bonnie and Clyde", "Easy Rider", "Natural Born Killers", and even films such as "Desperado" and "From Dusk Til Dawn." It's a sadistic, yet fun romp with some of the most unique, funny, and insane characters you will ever see on the screen! The film is gritty, raw, and in your face just like the wonderful 70s cinema. This film is blatantly violent and tests your psyche and you will know where you stand by the end of the film...whether or not you cheer for the clan, or you are disgusted and vehemently oppose their actions. But even with all the raucous that ensues in this film, one cannot deny that this work is very fun to watch and is impossible not to laugh at many of the funny lines contained in the film. But, if you are against violence, swearing, and sick humor, by all means stay away from this film because you would not understand it anyway. But, if you have an open mind and are ready for a fun ride and a unique social commentary then watch this! You will be enthralled!