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Reviews
Un bonheur n'arrive jamais seul (2012)
Highly recommended. Simply wonderful.
The movie is simply wonderful. A couple meet (in the rain) and fall in love. As in all good French comedies, the drama begins right there, with lots of slapstick, especially from Sophie Marceau. The woman is simply a grandiose actress. He is an advertising jingle composer and has his problems with women who are taken and have children. Sophie is taken with a much older man and has three children. Over the course of the story, the two simply try it out with each other. The movie is fresh and makes you forget the worries of the day. Cinematography, direction and music do the rest. Highly recommended.
Strictly Confidential (2024)
Zero thrills in a lame movie set in the caribean
Nothing about this film works.
The actors have to play roles that are simply ridiculous. Of course, the idea of shooting an erotic thriller in the Caribbean sounds good. The younger actors do their best, but can't save the flic. But not like this. Hurley, who always looks good, is just badly staged. The "erotic" scenes are nothing but embarrassing. But the worst thing is the script. Boring. And boring again. The payoff at the end, my goodness, where did that come from? This ist the third or forth film for Liz Hurley set on the same island with the same producers. (the others are unfunny Christmas movies) She should move on. Please...
Le salaire de la peur (2024)
Terrible. I stoped watching after 12 Minutes.
The first "action sequence", two lancrusers are pursued by a pick-up truck with a machine gun.
This scene shows that the director has no idea how to stage action. The sequence has nothing. Then a completely uninspiring sex scene that contributes absolutely nothing to the story. (And I like a good sex scene. ) At this point I ask myself. A woman in "Wages of Fear". Okay, we're in the woke age, maybe it has to be. I'm almost gone after 4:26 minutes. (!)
You have to come up with the crazy and stupid idea of remaking one of the greatest classics in film history. Hello Netfelix? Do you fancy a remake of "Casablanca"?
After 6 minutes we are now in a flashback and it is clear that we have landed in a French-Arabic migrant milieu film.
Everything is full of stereotypical little gangster types, or something like that. I turn it off.
Role Play (2024)
I tryed to like it but...
I really like Kaley, (who doesn't). But this really stupid horrible boring film, what was Kaley and the others thinking? Money? Well, the whole storyline starts with me not believing the marriage between the couple for a second.
(Interesting, on Amazon we have more and more interracial couples, please don't get me wrong, there's just no chemistry between them here)
At some point after an incredibly long bar scene with Bill Nighy you just fall asleep.
I switched off after an hour. Kaley Cuoco was also responsible for the film as a producer. The production falls apart in visibly staged fight choreographies and tasteless gags. Without any finesse whatsoever. The script is not really clever and the action is not particularly spectacular.
Die Liebeskümmerer (2024)
The film drags like chewing gum
Dull. Bland. Without any flavour. The film drags like chewing gum and is simply boring. Somehow Netflix (Germany) at least wanted to make interesting and different films than the other networks. My God, what a flop this story is. It hurts to watch the film. I saved myself the last 30 minutes. Come to think of it, the film was produced by the mighty UFA Productions. Sometimes they do stand for smart and innovative movies. Not this time. A movie so easily forgotten.
The director Shirel Peleg made the total opposite of this drag a couple of years ago, with a smart comedy. "Kiss Me Kosher!" check this one out if you can.
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
166 Million Budget for this...
... uninspired film?
You're way better of watching Star Wars one more time, as it basically is the same story. With a lot better characters. I wonder who at Netflix says, "hey guys, we just had a look at the screenplay and it basically sucks, but who cares. How much money do you need"?
There's a lot of VO explaining in the first 45 minutes. Everybody has a back story to tell. The 20 minute set up is "The Magnificent Seven" or " The Seven Samurai" either way.
And all in glorious Synder slow motion. Especially the "action" set pieces. ( I mean at normal speed the movie would easily be 15 minutes less in running time) At Minute 44 they (like the heroes) actually walk into a bar and you can't shake off another Star Wars vibe. Some dude named Kai shows up who's Han Solo with a nice and fast space ship.
Seriously, aren't the writes embarrassed not coming up with an original line of thought? Up to minute 55 it's all Star Wars. Wait, maybe this is done intentially? Well, then some characters, (C-3PO, hint) could have explained that intention in a lengthy voice over.
I just stopped watching after an hour, wishing I could sell Netflix an array of stolen classic movie ideas.
Fool Me Once (2024)
What a disappointment for another Harlan Coban Series.
Where to begin? Is it Michelle Keegan's annoying Manchester accent or her lack of acting skills? May ist just she doesn't fit the part. So the show makes believe she's an ex-army hotshot special whatever. Yeah, right. Her first fight scene is beyond ridicules.
There is really no realism in this show.
Dramaturgically, the series stretches like chewing gum. As usual, Harlan begins with a sensational twist. After Maya Stern's husband (Richard Armitage) is shot dead by some gang, he turns up a few months later on his widow's nanny cam. However, what happens after that is so incredibly far-fetched. The whole pace of this series is tedious. Everything drags on. A really lousy score wallows over it. The permanent soundtrack is supposed to create tension, but it doesn't. I gave up after three episodes, really annoyed. What a pity.
Stowaway (2021)
Simply boring
A good 20 minutes into the film and, Jesus, this is boring. I don't mind a slow start. Build the characters, the setting, but this one is unreal in a slow start. Then finally the stowaway appears. No spoiler.
Not bad, I woke up but then again, what's there to watch?
On the next bad side, none of the characters were any interesting. Whatever they had between themselves, not interesting.
The entire bloody script was lame. So, am I completely wrong? Well, box office wasn't really a killer on this film. Insight: they shot the entire film in Germany for cash back incentives. Figures...
Should be taught at filmschools. Topic, how to run a good idea.
Heart of Stone (2023)
The film looks like it was written by a (bad) AI
The film looks like it was written by a (bad) AI. Maybe it can be better described with the words "paint-by-numbers". And then you take this bad script and throw in a director who has absolutely no idea about action. Sad. What kind of exectuives are there at Netflix? Are they teenagers just out of college? Netflix "action" and "comedies" are just horrible.
No matter how likable you find Gale Gadot, she plays each of these action characters exactly the same. The film, or rather the storyline, is just incredibly boring. At no point are any of these characters believable. This entire film is simply an insult to ALL viewers.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)
Worst writing ever!!!!!!!!!
It's a pity that a few intelligent people ruined the last Indi movie so much. Is no one really paying attention? George Lucas, where have you been? Don't you have anything to say anymore? Obviously not.
Spoiler allert:
Worst of all is the Helena character. The woman is just batshit crazy. Has no manners. Treats her Godfather (Indiana) like the last idiot. Then: nobody believes that the woman travels to N. Y. and steals half the disc only to sell it again in Morocco (?) For gambing debts??? What was that about? From then on, the woman is a nightmare in every scene she is in. Her character is just a horrible woman. Zero humor. In every other the movie all the other women were top of their game. Not here.
Then this totally superfluous Teddy. Horrible the child, which is simply supposed to be a copy of short round. Why did he actually steal from another young person at the market? Why was there this scene? Completely stupid are the 100 km / h fast TukTuks? Stupid. Why Antonio Banderas played the captain in the first place? He probably just wanted to be there. Anyway.
The movie is just boring and again - what were the stupid writers thinking to make Indian Jones look so weak? Harrison, okay at your age and for that much money, then you can do something like that. Nobody wants to see Indiana like in this movie. Maybe someone will just fire Kathleen Kennedy, she is the main person responsible for this stupid, stupid movie.
Serves Disney right for losing hundreds of millions of dollars.
Worst writing ever!!!!!!!!!
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)
Sorry, this MI is a joke. Unfortunately.
So let get me get this straight: Ethan Hunt is in the same room with Grace. Right? Benji makes her the super mask. It's her goal now to get on the train and impersonate the white widow, right?
Next scene Grace is in the mask on the Orient Express. But where is Tom, sorry, Ethan? He's on a bloody motorbike because, why?
Oh yeah, for the stunt. Why didn't he board the train with Grace??
I could continue listing the entire overly written script and still don't get it, why this movie had to be almost 3 hours long.
Probably because of all the talking about the damn key...
Sorry, this MI is a joke. Unfortunately.
Deadloch (2023)
Could have been good, if it weren't for...
The premise is good. A small community by the sea or is it a lake? A few strange murders all realted to solve. (Now I didn't understand why apparently 90% of the women here are lesbians, but I don't have to) Yes, it's supposed to be a comedy. Unfortunately, the character of the absolutely horrible Eddie doesn't work at all. It's total overacting. Since the role is not to be taken seriously, all the other characters suffer immensely. Pity to have tried watching it, I've seen the first three episodes, I'll spare the others, otherwise I'll jump out of the window in disgust and anger about the Eddie character. She opens her mouth and you want to turn the show of. What were the creative parts behind the show thinking?
FUBAR (2023)
How can this be so bad?
What cracks me up is that this series was so obviously cheaply produced. Beginning with the script.
The direction, everything else. Just take the lame "pre-title" sequence.
The number with the diamonds and the guy who is supposed to get them just makes no sense at all!
Unfortunately, it also has to be said that dear Arnold can't act at all. (I stopped watching after the first 15 minutes of the second episode)
This is a lousy, bad series! But surely Netflix will be able to celebrate a big success worldwide with this crap.
Does Netflix actually have executives or producers who read screenplays?
Citadel (2023)
Uncharitably created Amazon nonsense
Started the series with a lot of enthusiasm and unfortunately quickly realised how lifeless the show is. Actually, it looks like an AI wrote this nonsense. In the opening scene everyone is banging their heads, but of course no one has so much as a chipped fingernail. All the camera shots look like they were shot in front of a coyz LED wall in Culver City. Everything looks so gruesomely clean. Not even Newton Thomas Sigel (Extraction) can save this lighting concept. And as the old rule says: the more producers the absolutely rotten the result. 34 producers are listed here. My conclusion: 12-year-old children will enjoy this rubbish series which for some od reason apparently had a production budget of 300 Million Dollars.
The Last Thing He Told Me (2023)
slow paced thriller...
...too slow for me.
The build-up is not bad, but the relationship between Garner and her stepdaughter is ridiculously bad. The first episode stretched like a piece of chewing gum. Endless talks And why do all TV teenagers act so incredibly bad-tempered? I guess it's one of those things.
Too bad for Jennifer Garner, who is a great actress and wastes her talent here. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is way to underated here. I wonder where the chemistry between Garner and him is, if there has ever been one.
The second episode beginns even slower. The realtionship between wife and stepdaughter hasn't change after what they have been through. Sorry, abother dud from Apple.
Kiss Me Kosher (2020)
Very enjoyable comedy
This is a little gem on the art house movie market. Story is cute, maybe at times predictable, but its the actors who really make the film very, very enjoyable to watch. Two women in a lesbian relationship in Israel and one is German the Israeli. Well, this is the beginning of a good comedy. Direction is flawless, a bit like a Woody Allen film. (this I meant as a compliment). One can really relate to the problems the women will encounter. What else can I say for the remaining 120 characters without spoiling the story...Luise Wolfram and Moren Rosenblat made this film which is very much a sprawling family comedy. Go watch!!!!!
The Gray Man (2022)
thank you and good night.
It's a Friday night and I am really, really looking forward seeing this 200 Mio $ Netflix film. Well, 23 Minutes into it and I hate it, or have to ask myself, what am I watching here? So far non of the characters bring anything on the table that pushes the storyline (what story). Movie jumps from all kind of locations like Monaco, Baku, Chiang Mai for what...? Oh, yeah watching Interieurs. The CGI and the action on and off the plane really makes you love the "Mission Impossible" flics even more. Ryan Gosling does what he does in every other movie the man is ever in, he acts a big nothing. I am giving up reviewing this film at min 38. Thank you and good night.
Into the Night (2020)
Interesting plot line, but terrible in every other way
Basic plot is good, but then there are so many b-movie problems. The acting and dialogues are mind-blowing insane. (maybe it's better in french, but the english or german dubs are simply bad) The script in that regard is just bad and so are the double directors. Many details just don't fit or the entire structure has huge plot holes. NO SPOILERS here. In the forth episode the pilot is still wearing his perfect tie. The democracy line is simply not believable. And the interesting back parts of the characters, they mean nothing for the outcome of what happens on the plane.
6 Underground (2019)
what's it all about....?
.... I can't tell. First break came after the 19 Minutes opening action scenes set somewhere in Italy. Nothing, really nothing, made sense, or was remotely interesting, fun, suspenseful. It's probably something for my 15 year old son.
Then I tried watching after the break. Na, if you like Michael Bay, sure its for you, for the rest of the world - ludicrous script, a shame to those actors and the money spend.
I gave up after 35 Minutes.
Blood Paradise (2018)
Only Winter comes out of this one....
.... sadly its a dull, very dull movie. There is not really a story, behind all the effort. Unsuccessful writer goes on a writing trip to a Swedish farm. Strange things happen. Well, that's all that happens. Nothing seems to make any sense. (interesting how many clothes the female writer brings to a secluded farm). Highlight although is Andréa Winter. This is not the last movie we'll see of her. She surely has a great screen presents.
Blood & Treasure (2019)
I really wanted to like this one, but...
I like a good adventure, give me "Indiana Jones" any day, so I was excited about "Blood & Treasure" Well...
First five minutes (!) in, its terrible. A search troop opens some "secret" door of a pyramid with a crowbar... some insane shooting follows and then it gets worse. But no spoilers....
The two main characters behave a bit like taken out of "Archer". He needs her, she hates him, but of course the two are made for each other, through some past issues, which we see in flashbacks. Loads of flashbacks by the way. So many flashbacks jumping from country to years. A clear narrative would have been nice.
Stereotype characters at every corner. He's a stolen art hunter of some sort and works for the FBI and she's a master thief.
The black market sequence is a joke in itself. Seriously writers?
On the upside: the camera tries to give a "feature film" tone and feel. Locations, lots of them, and production value. If you have the budget, why not spend it on a decent script? WHY?
Oh Boy (2012)
A feel good movie...
Interesting film about a day or two into the life of a lost young man. Sounds boring? No it isn't. There is humor, tragedy, love and drama in those 24 hours. Tom Schilling plays the part with a hint of melancholy which is fascinating to watch.
Lots of small supporting parts in the film as well, by some famous german actors. The film is presented in a very cool black and white with a fantastic Jazz-like soundtrack. Try watching it. It's slow and at the beginnen strange but definitely worth it.
Assault on a Queen (1966)
A ten year old one would like it....
... when I was young I saw this one on TV. What a ride... But now, some thirty years later, the movie is bad on so many levels. The direction is terrible. Jazz music score is absolutely wrong in ALL places. The basic premise is fun, but nothing and nobody makes sense. Sinatra walks through the movie like he is far away in Vegas.There is unfortunately no adventure feeling in the entire script, now move, nor direction - but one could have made something out of it. Enjoy it with a ten year old one. Some nice diving pictures but nothing else.
Hot Dog (2018)
Probably one of the worst films ever... definitely no spoilers!
Two of Germanys biggest movie stars in one buddy-cop movie... Hm, sounds like gold, doesn't it? Well, here everyone on this picture did everything wrong. Start with an uninspired script which wants to be a comedy but clearly isn't. Hardly anyone laughed in the theater (including me). Audience of roughly 20 people on the opening eve. Til Schweiger plays the bad and tough cop and Matthias Schweighöfer plays the dumb or silly or the cop who doesn't even know why he is in the film the first time. There is just an overkill of product placement grossly placed, like Mercedes, McDonald and many more, which make no sense either. Avoid at all cost.
Sandy Wexler (2017)
hard to understand why...
... Adam Sandler has turned from one of the funniest guys on screen to the exact opposite. Sandy Wexler is Sandler's latest Netflix effort and it's even worse than his previous two Netflix productions. Wexler is supposed to be an inside look into Hollywood of the early 1990s. Why? I didn't get it. Is it funny? Not at all. Wexler somehow wants to draw us into this time period and fails miserably.
Worst, Sandler acts with some idiotic Jerry Lewis like nasal voice which clearly is only annoying. (and Jerry Lewis was great in doing the nasal voice BTW). I can no recommend this film. I wish Sandler would go back and make some smart and actually funny comedy. But it sure doesn't look like it.