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Reviews
Ecco (2019)
Utterly terrible, meaningless and snail slow
Has all the production values of a bait and switch tv series pilot. First an engaging exciting airplane heist scene, after which practically nothing happens during the entire rest of the film. Almost 2 hours of overtly long drawn out scenes in which nothing of importance happens. Think about a bad slow tv drama and then double the slowness, it's unbelievable.
The music can be good at times and hides the fact that nothing of importance is happening, because the music conveys a sense of thrill. Take out the music and realize you're watching endless filler footage which simply does not matter. How this ever got distribution is a mystery, even Troma should've declined this borefest.
Andâ yua beddo (2019)
About some serious social issues
Film explores topics of child abandonment and neglect, and marital violence and rape. It might give new insight for people who've been happy enough to avoid these issues.
Maybe you had this quiet unpopular kid in your class, but you never knew why he was that way, and never really inquired into it. Or that quiet woman at work with downcast eyes, what happens to her at home. Some people have nice lives, others are doomed into hells very hard to break out of. How to survive in the world when you were brought up in a defective manner.
Or it can just be taken as a film of a creepy kid who resorts to stalking his classmate, should we not ask any why's.
District C-11 (2017)
Solid 2 star
The most impressive aspect about this movie is the amount of fake reviews pushing the average rating to over 6. The cover, poster and prologue (civil war, purge, mass uprising) have pretty much nothing to do with the actual content of the film, which is just endless social gossip blabla without meaning or substance, and a few short comically boring action sequences. Like one episode of a bad tv show, not even worthy of fast forward.
Men in Black: International (2019)
Tessa Thompson blows yet another movie
Could've been an ok movie without Tessa Thompson. She has almost zero acting ability, screen presence or hotness. When I see her lame face I expect to be at a cashier and hear "That'll be $19.85, cash or credit?" Not on the big screen acting her own lame self always the same, regardless of the movie. I will never understand why they keep on casting her when the truth is out for all to see on the silver screen. Someone's been promoted wayyy beyond her league god knows for what reasons, but acting ability and screen presence are not amongst them.
Baby Driver (2017)
Impressive review spamming
The biggest feat of this movie is how many paid spam reviews they managed to stuff in so that it'd look a must see. But they overdid it and the effect is rather comical. One would have to be blind not to see it, nothing we wouldn't have seen before, but this time they went full retard and twisted the spam knobs all the way up to 11. Still at 7.7, whereas it'd actually belong somewhere around 3.7.
The actual movie has nothing going on for it, strictly made for an early teens audience. Trying to make everything look cool but overdoing it, amplifying the spam review effect until it looks like a pile of dung being propped up by makeup, samba costumes and antique audio tech.
And the music, the overpowering music everywhere. Like Cloud Atlas, the disconnect between music and nothing on screen wakes you up to realize how you're being manipulated by the sound track to love this steaming pile of hollywood studio diarrhea.
Seize the Day (1986)
Atrocious, disjointed
Apparently it's possible to shoot an entire film out of focus most of the time.
Just a sad waste of resources, outdoor scenes with period cars a wasted, useless expense. Whatever good performances some characters gave is destroyed by the horrible photography, pointless plot which moves forward like a boring book written for an advance expenses paycheck, no tension, no development, no breakthroughs.
Just a big nothingburger worse than a disappointment. It feels like they were forced to make this movie and rushed it through as quickly and thoughtlessly as possible.