vathraq Reviews

Arthur and the Revenge of Maltazard (2009)

What's going on with movies today?

[2/10 · 23 January 2023]

So I watched the first "sequel" in this Arthur series Which turned out even worse than the first.

The female "lead" has gone from a b*d*ss warrior princess to a literal love-sick schoolgirl (what we saw of her.)

There's a scene where a character blows air horns to make a couple of girl's skirts lift up just so that he can get a look at their knickers... in a children's film.

I don't mind a little subtle adult humour in films for kids, that's how we promote family movie nights. But do we want to teach little boys that it's okay to blow up girl's skirts for a glimpse at their underwear? Or teach little girls that they should be fine receiving that treatment?

When they finally GET to the story it just ends with "to be continued."

I never thought I'd give a bad rating to a kids movie.

Arthur and the Invisibles (2006)

What are we feeding our kids these days?

[3/10 · 23 January 2023]

Ok that was more disturbing than I thought.

Years and years ago I watched "Arthur and the Invisibles." I thought it was a cute little animation and watched it again later. Just found out that there are "2" sequels so I thought I'd go for a recap.

How come I don't remember a scene where an animated 10 year old boy pulls the lace holding a woman's bra closed? Or the fact the said animated 10 year old boy got MARRIED to that woman by the end of the film? I'm suddenly surprised that they didn't animate the consummation.

Could you imagine a film animator marrying off a 10 year old girl in a children's animated movie?

How weird is it to have a 10 year old return to the real world and talk about his WIFE?

Timer (2009)

So Much Garbage

[2/10 · 16 March 2022]

I wasn't going to bother writing a review but I did read the reviewers before me.

Some have wondered about the unanswered questions in the movie. I wasn't interested enough to care about those because it bored me so much. Others pointed out the message of conformity within the story.

There are a couple of things that I've not seen anyone bringing up.

This timer thingy works by measuring oxytocin levels and tells you WHEN you're going to meet your "one true love," who always happens to be someone within your age group or attractiveness level (not surprising for movie land, I guess.)

What the film never bothers to tell you is, how does the timer know where you're going to be two years or two decades from the time it starts up? So what happens if your timer zeroes out but you're so-called soul-mate happens to be on the other side of the country or in a different country altogether, speaking a different language?

How does the timer know that you're not going to die before it zeroes out? What happens if your so-called soul mate does?

I hate to say it, but what happens if you're co-called soul mate is from a different "race" and is also a raging racist? Or a murderer (or worse?) Are you still going to accept what the timer says?

It's a terrible idea for a movie from a writer that seems to know nothing about love. Love can't be measured and certainly can't be predicted. There is not one person for everyone, it depends on too many variables.

Cats (2019)

What have they done to Cats?

[1/10 · 9 March 2020]

As a child, I grew up with the original Cats film. I loved it so much that I learned EVERY song along with my little sister and we'd break break out singing as often as we could.

After watching this pile I had to send my sister a text to summarise how I felt about this film (I'll censor out the stronger language).

"What the H**l did they do to Cats?

What idiot decided Fat B****rd should play in another film where she'd need to sing and dance, she can do neither! And they gave HER the fight with Macavity and of course she HAD to hit the other cat in the nuts!

The gender switch was fine, we're talking about cats after all (not pleased with that choice but I can get over it) and Judi Dench did fine. As did Grizabella.

They made Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer work WITH Macavity which is also unforgivable but not as unforgivable and removing Jemima altogether and giving her solo to Victoria.

About the only good thing I found about it was the little extra song that they gave Victoria which was a nice little song.

What's worse though? The exposition. The fun part of Cats is that not a word was spoken. Now they're TALKING between songs.

Of course "fat B****rd just HAD to make Bustopher Jones's song about her, didn't she? I can certainly see why you hated Rum Tum Tugger's song.

I have to watch the original film just to erase this garbage from my mind!

I want Jemima back!

Mungojerrie sang like he was out of breath and they didn't even remove the sounds whenthe dancers landed. these are supposed to be cats, they don't thump the ground!"

And that, my dear reader, is how strongly I felt about this film.

As you might have noticed, I think casting Rebel Wilson as Jennyanydots was a huge gaffe. She just HAD to sexualize the character. I don't recall Susie McKenna doing that. Wilson however can't do anything without telling people how sexually attractive she is. I can't say this enough, Wilson... if you have to constantly tell us that, then you're probably not attractive!

These people have thrown one of my favourite films of all time into the gutter! Especially with the two nut shots!

Do yourself a favour readers... if you want to see Cats, go watch the original. Not only is it better than this in terms of dancing and singing, but the sets were way better too.

Escape to the Country (2002– )

Yet another show to show poor people what they don't have and will never be able to get

[1/10 · 4 October 2018]

I don't know why people watch rubbish like this. It's worse than reality TV.

Here we have the richest people in the country showing off how much money they have by buying property that the average person would never be able to set foot on, let alone buy.

I literally just caught an episode about a couple with a budget of £900,000 buying a house with enough land to land a HELICOPTER.

What is it about people who are so concerned what the rich are doing?

DC's Legends of Tomorrow: Daddy Darhkest (2018) Season 3, Episode 10

That woman can find lesbians everywhere

[2/10 · 24 July 2018]

Look, I don't mind homosexuality in any TV show...but what's with getting Sara Lance a new girlfriend every episode?

In fact she's had more girlfriends in three seasons than ALL the other characters combined.

Give me a break, it's not as easy to find a homosexual partner as these writers seem to think.

I suspect that the writers just found a pretty woman who would kiss another woman on-screen and decided to milk it for all that it was worth.

Supergirl: Schott Through the Heart (2018) Season 3, Episode 14

I don't believe I have to say this.

[1/10 · 13 July 2018]

"Rock stars of colour didn't get the same fame as their white counterparts"... says the guy who is... GREEN!

The writers, producers, editors, crew and cast all need to learn that PC Culture has no place in fantasy.

We come here to get away from reality, not for life lessons of events that happened decades before we were born. The world has grown since then and we don't want race baiting episodes in our favourite superheroes!

Supergirl: Crisis on Earth-X, Part 1 (2017) Season 3, Episode 8

Don't you just hate it...

[6/10 · 12 July 2018]

... when a TV series starts a four part storyline that includes episodes from other TV series'?

Here's the issue as I see it. To understand what the heck is going on I have to know the characters in all four series.

I know the characters in Supergirl having watched every episode preceding this one. I know the characters in Arrow having watched... well not quite every episode leading o this one, I was planning on getting to that. the same with the Flash... I've not seen the Legends of Tomorrow at all.

Now we have this storyline from a series that I only know the basics of and not the actual run-up because it's in a series that I've not gotten to yet, it's going to continue in a series that... I've not gotten to yet. After that it'll continue in a series... that I've not gotten to yet and it'll conclude in a series... that I don't have access to yet.

By the way the same happened in the Invasion story last season, I saw parts one to three and I still have no idea of the conclusion.

I don't mind crossover... really... but a four part crossover is just annoying.

Taking this episode as if it was a stand-alone, however. I like Supergirl (the character more than this series) so I want to like this.

What I see is a made up character inserted to give Supergirl someone to connect with to enhance her humanity standing at a bar alone and a complete stranger comes up and just happens to be a lesbian, thereby giving this made up character a one night stand which she'll then regret and feel guilty because she "acted like a guy". I don't care about Alex in the first place, she could have died in that plane crash two years ago and still had the same impact on making Supergirl the hero that she'd become.

It's not the first time they've done something like that... remember the police officer who told Alex that she was a lesbian in the first place which just happened to be true even though Alex didn't know herself at the time?

What? Do the writers think that homosexual people are somehow psychic whenever there's another homosexual in the room?

As for the greater storyline. Yeah, yeah. I enjoy a morality shift just as much as the next comic fan Earth 3 is a good series in the actual DC Universe. The Nazis element... too predictable. Everyone's a Nazi now anyway, right?

The series sucks sometimes... and this is one of those times. Thankfully, the characters are probably going to forget everything that happens here by the time they get back to their own universe and continue the story that we were watching before this Dominator suddenly showed up and had a huge fight with Supergirl off-screen that we, the viewers, weren't considered worthy enough to witness.

The Jeremy Kyle Show (2005–2020)

The most disgusting example of a "human being"

[1/10 · 22 January 2018]

I don't normally hope for TV shows to be cancelled but this one should be deleted from history. My mother watches it every morning, which is hardly an appropriate time to show garbage like this with foul language and discussions about sex from beginning to end, but the worst part of it is Kyle himself.

If I were to point to anyone as the worst person to talk about the problems of society this "man" would be the one. While constantly attacking his guests in his holier than thou attitude, everyone knows that's he's hardly as pristine as his make-up and wardrobe.

He'll belittle any man who comes on accused of some action and then if the "evidence" from the lie detector says that the poor sap is innocent and has been telling the truth, then Kyle switches sides as if he's been there all along.

As for the women, Kyle will quite happily treat them as if they were children and had nothing to do treating husbands, boyfriends or kids with anything less than perfection unless that woman turns out to be an object of scorn in Kyles all-knowing eyes and then the gloves come off, she's the pits and he's damned well going to make sure she knows it.

This thing that calls himself a good person should be banned, not just from TV... but any job which involves human contact. I wouldn't want him emptying my bins.

Rich House, Poor House (2017– )

Let's show poor people what they don't have.

[2/10 · 22 January 2018]

I don't know why any "poor person" would want to appear on this show. Living in extreme poverty, you get to experience a whole week with the budget of some of the most privileged people in the country.

So what happens after that week when you have to return to your old life? Do you forget all the things that you had or just imagine it was some kind of holiday that your friends and family got to watch?

Of course, you have to return home with the memory of all the things that you can't afford. The giant house with a different bathroom for each member of your family, the chance to never have to turn the heating off when it's cold because you're worried that you might not be able to pay the electric bill. Eating more than one or two ready meals a day when your fridge was empty.

Of course, it's quite the ego boost for the "rich family". Go back home and realise how much you missed your home cinema, swimming pool and hot-tub, but does it really do anything to help them appreciate their lives more?

Probably not, they don't care about poverty as long as they don't have to deal with it.

Star Trek: Discovery (2017–2024)

How to alienate your audience in one easy step

[1/10 · 2 October 2017]

I watched what is available of this series with the air of someone who used to be a Trekkie (yes, my user name IS Klingon and I speak a little of that language. I went off the franchise somewhere around the middle of "Enterprise" though I still tried to keep up with the new developments. Even the JJ Abrams lens flare extravaganzas.

The best way to watch this is to forget about everything you already knew about Star trek, including that tractor beams have not been invented yet though they'll expertly use them 150 years before they were invented, Intra-ship beaming is dangerous on the Enterprise, though we'll happily take the risk to get from the ready room (which also hasn't been invented yet) to engineering to use a technology that we stole from the Iconians in TNG.

Forgetting also the identity politics and anti-white sentiments forced upon viewers by the production team and cast, quite openly. Oh and they did have a scene where a Klingon was regarded as less than Klingon because he's white.

The story that I saw was so... boring that I couldn't care less that a Starfleet ship is taking on board a character who is a mutineer from Starfleet as if she's never going to do that again.

Go watch the show if you can ignore all this but let me first tell you this...

Starfleet are the bad guys. Humans are the bad guys.

Could someone please tell the production team that when you make your audience out to be the bad guys they'll lose interest in the story that you're trying to tell?

Go sell this story on Qo'noS, the Klingons will love to be portrayed as the good guys for a change.

A Place in the Sun (2000– )

An excuse to show off how much money some people have.

[1/10 · 5 November 2015]

Yet another television show that only allows a chance for the super rich to show off just how super rich they are.

Who cares about a complete stranger going out to buy a house? That's right. The ones whose lives are so boring that they have to live vicariously through other people.

The only reason I'd want to see a house in Spain or Barbados or any other country (including Britain) is if I was the one buying that house or visiting it. Whether a random persons house has an island in the kitchen is of no concern to me.

The only way this show gets on my TV is when I'm not paying attention to it