Change Your Image
japegwyn
Reviews
The Creator (2023)
Mr Edwards doesn't disappoint
To all those who moaned like children at supposed plot holes or poor dialogue or tired story or whatever they like to moan about: either get off your backsides and show everyone how it's done or be quiet.
Yes, certain scenes are evocative of Blade Runner, story arc not unlike Akira, etc. But overall I found it engaging - but then, I'm a bit of an Edwards fanboi. The visuals overall have a similar sort of aesthetic to Blomkamp, and as famous British comedian once said, "you can't see the join!"
For me, the emotional beats landed well, although I have to admit to finding it a little on the long side - yet that's a 'me' thing, not a problem with the movie itself.
I enjoyed it very much.
Miraculous - Le film (2023)
...not like the original series...
I discovered Miraculous several years ago, and could see the difference - I couldn't place it until I switched to the French soundtrack, then it made sense. A certain amount of Anime influence, but a bucket load of French sensibilities.
There is one major problem with this film: it's too American.
Watch the lip sync.
It was animated in English.
It's a pastiche of the original.
Take the Disneyficaction into account, kinda tune out the songs (WHY do the bloody Yanks turn animations into musicals? WHY?), and it's passable to fill in some of the blanks.
So watch it with half an eye, listen with cloth ears and enjoy the living daylights out of the action sequences then watch the original series.
Gunpowder Milkshake (2021)
When You Can See The Effort
It's fair enough. The action is ok, even if most fight sequences do use every trick to hide the lack of combat competence in the cast.
I have a massive problem with this kind of thing though: it's just trying too hard to be cool... In the same way that Tarantino halfway through Pulp Fiction exposed the fact he's a talentless hack.
The colour timing and grading is inconsistent, and to me it comes off as pastiche.
It's a worthy-ish attempt, using recycled imagination, but like I forgot to keep watching Star Trek Nemesis, I couldn't keep a grip of this...
Especially since the John Wick team created this kind of world with less effort and far superior action sequences.
It's ok though.
Maybe I'm just being grumpy.
This Is Your Death (2017)
Not For The Faint-hearted.
Those who posted low scores critiques of this movie missed the point.
This is the bravest, darkest and most savage satire on the media we consume since Network.
That's it.
To say anything more would be to spoil your won experience as the tale unfolds.
Doors (2021)
NOT for Thoughtless People.
The reviews here are shocking.
The reviewers have no grasp of what they watched.
A portmanteau of 3 stories connected to the sudden appearance of baffling and apparently psychic entities and showing different people's reactions to them.
I found it an interesting condemnation of the small mindedness of humans... Sure, pretentious and preachy, but definitely diverting if you're in the mood for a slow creepy burn.
The Rookie: La Fiera (2021)
Too Woke for some? GOOD!
Sure, it's mostly a fairly light-hearted show, bits of excitement and aomehwat soapy...
But certain events over the last year had put me off any modern cop procedural, even this one.
Television shows not only entertain, they also can reflect, and I, for one applaud the intentions behind the ongoing plot thread with Brandon Routh playing against type (major props to him for that), and the scene where it all goes sideways was quick, nasty and from my experience, pretty accurate as to how things can escalate in the blink of an eye.
NOT to run this plotline would be irresponsible showrunning, so absolutely ignore all those who condemn this as 'woke'... Then look up the definition which states that it's being aware of problems of others and in society as a whole.
I'm old enough to remember the brutal impact Roots had on my parents' generation - even people who thought they knew stuff and weren't racist had their eyes opened.
I think we all need to relearn those lessons... And shows like The Rookie can be at the forefront, and rightly so.
Thunder Force (2021)
I enjoyed it
Damn, most people who review things here really have high opinions of themselves, don't they.
It's a silly film.
Given the cast and crew, you know what you're in for.
If you don't like this kind of thing, just don't watch it.
After all, The Twilight Saga didn't appeal to me, so I didn't watch it.
Damn, these people must have really sad empty lives of nonsense to keep watching stuff they don't like just to neg on it.
Scoob! (2020)
60 Year Old ScoobyFan Here
I approve.
The jokes are broad enough and fast enough to keep the old me happy, and the animation, character design and spectacle keep my inner 8 year old practically out of his mind with the cool awesomeness of it all.
Ignore the miseries all whining about it ain't THEIR Scoob...
Price change... And grow... And for me, this works.
Rogue (2020)
Haters Talk Nonsense As Usual
Sweary action packed film about Africa.
Not so subtle commentary about African stuff and American Trophy Hunters being jerks.
Biggest surprise: Megan Fox can act, and she can also kick arse...
Red Dragon (2002)
It's Okay: if you haven't seen Manhunter
The performances are fine.
The pace is fine.
The script is alright.
The casting is... Well, I happen to have seen Michael Mann's Manhunter.
Do yourself a favour, give it a while, then zip on over an experience that far superior vision.
Having said that, this is a valid and interesting version of the source material, with many of the beats being very similar... In fact, almost shot-for-shot in places.
Tape 407 (2012)
Ignore The Low Scores
Low score haters know diddly about movies, and really don't care about how they're made or distributed.
This is structured improv, and it has an urgency, yet a strange flatness which is extremely unsettling in its realism.
Yes, it's untidy at times, but so's life.
Maybe this was just the right movie at just the right time, but I had a great time with it. I couldn't see actors, I only saw the characters.
Finally, to all low scorers: when was the last time YOU employed that many people to create something rather than drag the world down with your negativity?
Yeah.
Thought not.
Watch it with the lights off and just go with it.
Extracurricular (2018)
Privilege
Just like the know-nothing self-righteous who do nothing useful, merely complain about things, the 4 main characters are a perfect example of the self-entitlement those who decry such films as this.
They didn't like it because it held a mirror up to their mewling and puking, and they didn't like it.
A different take, both nothing new and refreshing. Ignore all other reviews, this one counts: see it. If you don't like it... Well, your tastes and mine are different.
We Can Be Heroes (2020)
A Lot Of Miseryguts Need To Pay Attention
When I was 10, this would have blown my mind. It isn't patronising* it's colourful and exciting, and extremely cheerful. One thing that Rodriguez really can do is give his young performers cheesy dialogue and let them have fun with it.
One a cold dark December night, between Xmas and New Year, this was a welcome bright spark!
*unless you're... well, a red baseball cap wearer, if you get what I mean...
Only (2019)
Nothing Wrong With It
So: a Children Of Men apocalyptic type movie. Lots of haters give it low scores and condemn the characters... Little realising they'd been suckered into caring about them. Yeah. That's right. It's claustrophobic, slow-burning and...
2019, you say?
Ummmm...
Yeah. I really wish the haters would shut up and go and do something productive. The film may bore some people, but it's ok and not hard to follow. The flashbacks actually change the pace nicely, I think.
My Spy (2020)
Harmless Fun
Standard family action/rom com stuff... Dire doings connected to 'normal' widow and cute kid and agents monitor in case the bad guys turn up for whatever reason.
But we never EVER watch this stuff for that, do we? We watch to laugh at how lame it is, all the silly plot holes and... Wait..? David Bautista's actually rather good! Better than Sly and Arnie were when they did this kind of thing. And the kid's the right side of sassy... The sidekick's hilarious...
Sure: don't examine it, have a fun time and turn off your brain. It ain't gonna change the world, but it might just make the day worth living thru.
Nochnye strazhi (2016)
Only one criticism...
It's Russian, but more international in flavour and style. Yeah, you can compare it with Nightwatch, but... It's a different thing, for a different market.
I enjoyed it, it's a lot of fun. It looks gorgeous and the set pieces are at least good enough.
My only criticism is the not so much the English vocal acting, but the casting... That's only my opinion, though.
So get past any doubts, dip in to see a fairly light-hearted vampire romp in Moscow (yet not horribly Gothic and depressing!)... I mean, we pay loads to go to the cinema to see worse American flix, so hey, why not just have fun here?*
*If your answer to that question is something akin to a sneer, then it wouldn't matter HOW good it is, you'd hate it, because you're the sort who would hate it anyway.
Batwoman: Pilot (2019)
Pay no attention
Pay no attention to those going into great detail. It's a comic book show. I want it to entertain me for 45mins runtime or so.
It does this. Does it well.
Sure, it's my opinion, and you may disagree, but all those other muddy funsters have only put THEIR opinion down.
They're also wrong.
Black Summer (2019)
Longtime ZomFan here: Worth it.
Interconnected from the start, with chapter headings, the first two episodes are deliberately disorientating. Sometimes a two or three hander, sometimes a solo scene.
While the characters make many of the usual mistakes, for me they seemed natural mistakes to make in the context... Episode 3 was where it fully grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and pulled me in; I found it creepy almost beyond words.
Sure, you have to be in the mood for it, but I consider this to be more "literate" than most zombie/rage outbreak fare, big or small screen.
Background music is mostly restricted to a single drone, quietly building and dropping; sometimes, the colour palette shifts slightly to match a character's mood... This stuff has been AUTHORED.
It doesn't scratch the Z Nation itch, being FAR more desperate and grim, but it'll while away a few hours.
Though bleak, it's one season so far feels like two of The Walking Dead condensed.
Robin Hood (2018)
Live Action Animé: and VERY cool.
Forget the bad reviews anywhere. This rocks... Just turn off your brain and enjoy the movie. That's it.
Shang hai bao lei (2019)
Butt-sore Yankees?
Aaaw! Poor 'murricka! The Chinese get all the best toys and save the world from the aliens in a simple Independence Day copy!
Get past the iffy translation on the subtitles, sit back and enjoy the spectacle of Oriental SFX houses showing Hollywood they have a bigger domestic market now..!
The Purge: Anarchy (2014)
Builds Into Truly Horrific Stuff
The Purge was far more interesting than it could have been: this opens up the story from the single location... and takes us to some dael and horrific places.
The violence isn't particularly graphic, nor expertly staged: as with the first movie, this is a thought experiment.
Had it been made 10 years earlier, we'd have laughed and thought, "no mother loving' way!"
As I write this in 2019... Well, hellfire and buckets of blood, it's just around the corner, breathing down our necks.
For real.
Security (2017)
Popcorn... cold beverage... turn of brain
Action flick pitting unarmed mall cops led by Antonio Banderas against a heavily armed crack hit squad led by Sir Ben Kingsley.
Sure, clichés abound, but this is what they're for... So do as my headline suggests and enjoy!
Magnum P.I.: I Saw the Sun Rise (2018)
Not Terrible
I liked Tom Selleck's Magnum.
I had no predudice with this, and sure, it's a pilot episode and needs to find its own groove; heck, every show does. Some first seasons of now-classics are unwatchable...
It's ok, in my opinion. It took me from a cold dark rainy January night if a messed up UK to a warm sunny place with some not entirely unlikeable characters and gave me a 42 minute adventure.
And for MY shout, in this day and age, let's have some more mind-candy.
So haters go hate elsewhere, because you don't understand what entertainment is for.
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
Marquand Gone Too Soon
Richard Marquand and ILM deliver a terrific film except for the BLOODY EWOKS! Hateful things.
So, yes... In line with the other 5 in the original half dozen, remake it and give us decent aliens to align with for the final battle.
Interesting Star Wars films CAN be made: Solo's more fun than you think, Howard managed to cobble a half-decent flick together; Rogue One was terrific; with episodes 7 and 8 I personally had the sort of Star Wars I've been yearning for.
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
The least imperfect
Quite like this one. Good director, even better script doctors. Annoying robots have their uses as comic beats, kept mercifully to a minimum.
Still: remake it in line with the others.