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Reviews
Nope (2022)
Cameras for Spectacle and Spectacle for Cameras.
Cameras are probably the most dominant central theme of "Nope." Since their invention in 1816, and more importantly the creation of the first motion picture in 1878: "Horse in Motion," a black jockey riding a horse to show horse's legs leave the ground and for a moment become suspended in the air, originally a study on the movement of animals. But since the inception of the theatre in ancient greece and Shakespeare's own domination of storytelling since the 16th century; no single tool has advanced an art form as powerfully or drastically as the camera.
The film and its characters (descendants of said Jockey) point out how odd it is that something was captured on film but its actor is lost to time. Something truly impossible in today's age of cameras everywhere, names logged online and yes even an InTerNet MoVIe DaTaBAseS. But perhaps Peele is quickly reminding us that the same people who have control over the camera have far reaching control over those in the frame.
Back to cameras. This is my guess as to what is the core of Nope. Everyone has cameras. Everything is documented, edited, distributed and consumed. You can plainly see its effects between the two main characters, OJ and Emerald. OJ is content to be in the valley and uncomfortable on a movie set, the highest elevation of the camera's use. But his sister wants everything to do with cameras: writer, director, actress, dancer. Its a sly way to get in some much needed character writing organically, while still having your characters embody the themes of your film.
BUT Back to camera's again. The alien invasions is actually a final fantasy boss monster that gobbles things up that dare to look at it. Its ribbony mouth fluttering like the shutter of a lens, rolling over like its going through a roll of film. The flying creature is the only one allowed to be the hidden surveyor and anything trying to survey IT must be consumed. Its here we have our first major hint towards Peele's feelings about cameras. Their purpose can be to capture beautiful wonders or be used as powerful tools for art. But as soon as the wonders stop and spectacle needs to continue we create the spectacle to feed our cameras.
At one point the team is trying to convince an auteur cinematographer to help them get the "impossible shot," a clear as day UFO on film. Emerald says their project is for reality tv, the cinematographer scoffs. OJ prompts her to say "documentary," which peaks the man's curiosity again. Its clear we have two forms of media made for the sake of spectacle. One is derived solely from spectacle, while the other tries to capture spectacle organically. The spectacle our cinematographer searches for is predator vs prey. An eerie look into us the viewer, and our own obsession with horror or suspense mimicing the same natural responses to hunting or being hunted.
More examples: Gordie's freak out, prompted by taking a real life wild animal and sticking it in front of CAMERAS until it lashes out and dies in front of them (also Lucky the horse's panic on set). Steven Yuen's traumatized cowboy who's life was shaped by CAMERAS. Angel the faux best buy employee putting CAMERAS in everyone's hands. The cinematographer living and dying by the CAMERA, shown in his hands multiple times like a weapon a la WW2 machine gunner nest.
Cameras, cameras, cameras, cameras, cameras, cameras, cameras, cameras, cameras, cameras, cameras, cameras, cameras, cameras, cameras.
Since their advent, you could argue one single tool has had such a powerful impact on art and society. Maybe cars or planes are #2? Using radio waves to move a boat? Its up for debate.
Anyway, this write up could go on forever, and that's something Jordan Peele should be applauded for. Making films that can shock and delight but always leave you wondering why it was put together this way. Why the themes were nested so carefully. Where the movie starts and the metaphors end.
Its beautifully shot. I thoroughly enjoyed the grading of the bright desert valley days in contrast to the cool blue nights, with each frame showing off wonderful wide open vistas. Daniel Kaluuya is tremendous as always and I am deeply in love with Keke Palmer. The pacing is the only real knock on the film, as it does take a while to truly get going. When it does get going, many viewers might not even know what is going, why and where? Peele prides himself on his show-don't-tell skills, but when you're shuffled between scenes on a Walley World-esque space cowboy ranch, to a bloody chimpanzee, to the flying saucer enigma, its easy to lose the motivation for the cuts or even the scenes themselves.
But really, the only thing you need to know is that the spectacle was painstakingly shot on camera for you to consume.
House M.D.: Histories (2005)
Remember there is no cure for Rabies.
One of the first episodes where House loses a patient, and a bit unceremoniously. The real meat of this one is Foreman's prejudice against homeless people. As someone who made it out of the projects and became a neurologist, he sees people who are happy to sleep on park benches and use food stamps as deserving of their situation.
But of course he would be wrong in his nearsighted view and with the patient's death he's reminded that we're all just people. Some of us weren't even given a chance or others lost their place in society after catastrophic events beyond comprehension.
House Quote:
"A day, maybe two. (turns to Foreman) And if you don't get your shot in, say, the next three hours, I'm going to have to make another affirmative action hire."
House M.D.: DNR (2005)
Bleeding Gums Murphy
If you want an episode about a sick musician losing his gift for music then succumbing to a silent poignant death, go watch the simpson's episode about Bleeding Gums Murphy.
Anyway this episode is more about the ethical dilemma of Do Not Resuscitate bracelets. House, the ever obsessed diagnostician he is, can't let a little legal issue get in his way, so he saves a man who just wants to die (you'll see this multiple times through out the series).
I can't even remember what he had, and I don't really care.
Next episode please.
House Quote:
"DNR means "do not resuscitate", not "do not treat".
House M.D.: Poison (2005)
Counterfiet Jeans Racket
I've given so many episodes in season 1 "7/10"
I think its just how I feel about the season as a whole: solid, but no real crown jewels of the show. They all seem to happen in later seasons.
It makes sense. The writers were getting the formula down and needed the american television series death march of episode orders to get there. Then they could truly start experimenting with the characters and arcs.
So what happens in this 7 outta 10? Well two kids get sick, one of them dies and its all because they bought counterfeit jeans covered in pesticides. Its one of those episodes where they came up with the diagnosis first and worked backwards, trying to figure out how to get two kids to buy jeans being sold from some guys pick up truck.
The only real memorable aspect of this episode, is the old woman in the clinic who gets a flare up of a few decade long chlamydia diagnosis. The chlamydia eats half her brain, causing her to be horny and happy 24/7. What a time.
House (actually patient) Quote:
"I'm sorry, Mom. I knew the pants were stolen... they were only five bucks. You're gonna give me hell, aren't you?"
?????? ??????
House M.D.: Fidelity (2004)
Love is Forgiveness
This episode of House teaches a valuable lesson on the characteristics of love and relationships.
When the suburban household becomes stale and isolating, people need to find comfort in something else, or someone else.
So what if they catch african sleeping sickness from the person they cheat on their spouse with? So what if that disease can be transmitted to their spouse through sex? So what if they lie to their spouse then eventually confess moments away from death?
Forgiveness is an infinite resource. I only hope most people who would ever find themselves in this situation would look deeply into their lying, cheating, selfish, greedy, egotistical, narcissistic, self-absorbed, smug, psychotic partner's eyes and forgive them.
House Quote:
"Yeah.. see, if you're gonna repeat everything I say this conversation is gonna take twice as long."
House M.D.: The Socratic Method (2004)
The Socratic Dialogue Steeped in Melodrama
The crux of the episode lies in a young teenager (claims to be 18 probably 14), taking care of his schizo mother. As the episode progresses House gets a hunch that the cobwebs in her head are not as bad as everyone thinks, leading him to diagnose her with Wilson's disease, a genetic disorder that lets your body build up copper to the point your liver fails and you get psychosis.
Here in lies the namesake of the episode, as the greek philosopher also suffered from schizophrenia. House tries to deduce the patients true intentions, as at one point, she was lucid enough to call child services on herself.
Besides a truly miraculous cure that returns the alcoholic rambling woman back to her old self in about four minutes, we have to suffer through the melodramatic son seemingly being forced by the hand of god to wrangle her crazy mother, finally being rewarded with a sane one. I guess he made the right call, since any psychiatric ward would just dose her with ketamine and let her rot in a padded cell for the rest of her life.
House Quote:
FOREMAN: Mickey Mantle had a whole bar named after him. He got a transplant.
HOUSE: Yeah, well, Lucy can't switch-hit. Plan B. Surgery to resect the tumor.
House M.D.: Damned If You Do (2004)
House Fights the Nuns
Every time a nun gets a rash they think its stigmata. Like a moth to a burning bush.
This episode is a taste of House's ongoing battle with religion. As a man of science, he believe in only the empirical evidence of life's cruel nature. However, many of his patients (and coworkers) generally believe in a higher power if not a guiding grace. This makes a lot of sense when you're in a hospital and death pollutes the air while the living are made to grapple with the seemingly random suffering of others. Not to House. So he goes out of his way to not just battle religion undermining science but to just demonize the whole thing.
Again its early days for the show and they haven't had House launch a full on offensive against Christ yet. You get a fun mystery surrounding some nice fake-outs that ends in a Nun suffering for her past.
House Quote:
"Pretty much all the drugs I prescribe are addictive and dangerous. The difference with this one (cigarettes) is that it's completely legal."
House M.D.: Maternity (2004)
Kiss Biebac
Is an anagram for "Sick Babies." Here we get a slice of cruel reality with our House drama. Babies get sick and man they do not much care for it.
One baby goes down, smash cut to a haunting House baby autopsy which finally leads the team to find an experimental antiviral cure to save the others.
We learn a bit about Cameron and House's cavalier track record with the hospital staff.
Next.
House Quote:
"This is our fault. Doctors over-prescribing antibiotics. Got a cold? Take some penicillin. Sniffles? No problem. Have some azithromycin. Is that not working anymore? Well, got your Levaquin. Antibacterial soaps in every bathroom. We'll be adding Vancomycin to the water supply soon. We bred these super bugs. They're our babies. Now they're all grown up and they've got body piercings and a lot of anger."
House M.D.: Occam's Razor (2004)
Occam's Mislabled Medication
After a decent pilot and strong second episode, we get boy's internal organs falling apart after some heavy petting with his girlfriend.
The diagnosis goes back and forth, while House obsesses with the crux of mislabeled cough medicine. This is where Occam's Razor comes into play, instead of chasing every possible other infection or cause, House finds the simplest solution to be the cough medicine/lying patient. Nested in his own logos that everyone is lying all the time.
Overall decent episode in a very decent season 1.
House Quote:
"You've got a hundred other idiot doctors in this building who go warm and fuzzy every time they pull a toy car out of a nose, you don't need me here."
House M.D.: Paternity (2004)
Who's your Daddy?
Episode 2 (or basically episode 1) of season 1 has a decent mystery surrounding a teen who collapses during a lacrosse match. Get ready because the intro medical stingers turn into a bountiful and joyous way to kick off each episode of House.
The plot really starts with Cameron forging House's signature trying to get him to take a case, because the team of extraordinary and very expensive doctors has been sitting around playing scrabble and billing to "no sick people."
This will be the first obstacle for many episodes. House just isn't interested in your cancer or eczema. So for people like you and me who get those types of great value bulk diseases any doctor with google could diagnose, we will never get to see House (probably a good thing).
So luckily for the patient he's having night-terrors at 16. At first they think its a symptom of a concussion but as he starts to get worse its revealed to be a measles virus the teenager contracted when he was a baby due to his biological mother (not the paid actors on screen) not being vaccinated/not getting the kid vaccinated.
Overall its a solid episode. There's lot of lovely horror inspired camera work and editing that sets House apart. If the episode starts to stall you can count on something disgusting or grizzly happening (thanks fox). The ending also showcases House watching the cured young man play lacrosse. A warm and poignant scene giving you a whiff of something a deeper in his character.
This episode should also get an extra point for a fantastic deconstruction of the brain rot infecting antivaxxers. A woman and her infant visit House in the clinic. The woman stubbornly refuses to get her child vaccinated (see measles man) to which House simply reminds her of the cruel cold reality that without this modern miracle of vaccines, the kid has a great shot at missing its first birthday, and every following birthday. Its not an ironclad defense against the type of venomous rhetoric that's poisoning society today but a simple example of how trying to bypass hundreds of years of empirical medicine in favour of some deft crusade will probably lead you into a nice wooden box 6ft under ground. A strong clip that should be reposted to antivaxxers until the superbug mercifully wipes them all out.
House M.D.: Pilot (2004)
As Solid a Pilot You Can Hope For
I hate pilots. Not the plane kind, the tv kind. Especially after watching a series for a long time. Seeing the ups and downs and meta-writing that takes place as the show runners and production get into a groove, then going back and comparing it to the rough draft of the show is painful. Sometimes I do not envy some of the calls executives have to make. Its like gambling your life savings on a pair of 8's (talkin texas holdem). Not great but it has a good chance of going the distance. Or fold and wait for a better hand.
Luckily house is an Ace Five suited. Hugh Laurie is magnetic even IF in the early days he has to leash his more diabolical side in favor of a serious edge. The case is bit boring: Kindergarten teacher tries to sing the hokie-pokie backwards while she convulses on the floor. We get a long drag on the sweet mistress of melodrama that the show can never really help steer itself into every once in a while. Treated to the woman's bleeding heart for her kids contrasted by the introduction to House's utter indifference. Eventually the culprit is found to be a tape worm (very rare in the NA) in her brain (EXCEEDINGLY RARER).
But the point isn't the case, its the intro to the characters and their relationships. We see House and Wilson's rocky friendship. House's superiority over his plucky likeable staff. Cuddy's police chief energy. House's ongoing battle against authority and the dreaded clinic hours. We see his vicodin addiction, he explains a bit about his limp, and the formula for the episodes are laid out in precise fashion.
Again, its a solid pilot and good precursor to season 1, which itself is solid if not a bit safe. It will be sometime before the Ace King suited gets to truly shine but a great first step into House's crazy world.
House Quote #1:
"Hello, I'm doctor House."
House M.D. (2004)
Popping Pills and Saving Lives
"When you hear hoof beats you think horses, not zebras."
This is the crux of House M. D. So Much so they almost titled the show "Chasing Zebras, Circling the Drain"
The drain part means terminally ill patients, but I guess the folks at fox didn't think it was as catchy as House M. D. and they were right. The show creators/writers also wanted to put him in a wheelchair and the tv execs shot that down as well. Maybe all tv execs aren't completely wrong all the time... nah they got lucky.
I digress. We're talking about medicine now. House M. D. prescribes a particular brand to its viewers. The medical accuracy is hit and miss, with the science and procedures being rock solid but the actual "doctoring" looking like something out of a Dr. Nick simpson's holiday special.
Dr. Gregory House is a world famous, brilliant, vicodin addicted, dead legged, misanthrope, who loves solving medical mysteries enough to tolerate the meat sacks the cool diseases attach themselves to. He's chief diagnostician for a hospital in New Jersey. He doesn't play by the rules and thinks ethics are a muffled suggestion. A real ends justify the means kinda people person.
His team of doctors: Australian, Omar Epps and Girl, plus his best friend Watso--I mean Wilson and Dr. Cutty the risotto girl from that episode of seinfeld. Watch everyone break rules and take risks trying to diagnose the undiagnosible. When you catch a cold, and suddenly the next day you start bleeding from your eyes while your hands fall off, your average doctor won't know whether to prescribe you tylenol and bed rest or start crying and switch careers. So you get sent to House.
Over the course of 45 minutes, you'll get misdiagnosed 9 times, have about 5 invasive surgeries and forget all of 3rd grade. BUT in the last 5 minutes when House is eating an ice cream cone next to a diabetic, he'll suddenly figure out how to fix you. 500,000 freedom bucks in medical bills later, you'll be 100% healthy and on your way to living your drastically worse life, but hey at least you're alive! House baby!
This show goes up and down between major character developments, one in a billion cases, alternating rosters of characters (including quite possible the worse pointless major character death in tv history). House does more drugs, House does less drugs, House fights a patient, House goes to jail, a patient fights House, House commits arson, House gets shot, House buys a motorcycle.
Its an awesome mystery show that is anchored by one of the all time greatest performances in Hugh Laurie as the House. Who painfully limped through season to season, delivering snappy one liners, hilarious asides, eye ball stealing drama and empathetic acting. He is the engine that made the show go. He could easily plaster over the worse parts of the show and single handily carry it when it slumped. He hit peak after peak, as the talented writers and production got better and better.
House M. D. absolutely has its faults, but its a medical mystery show that perfectly scratches an itch no other show can.
Love, Death & Robots: Bad Travelling (2022)
Fincher Tries his Hand at Sea Monster Terror
There's lot of budget to be had on Mr. Krabs wild ride. A 20 minute gory thriller by way of Sea of Thieves.
A sea fairing crew of salty dogs transporting shark oil across a treacherous ocean infested with giant monsters of the deep, sees one crustacean hitch a ride, eating its crew while it chills deep below deck. Where things take a turn is that its not just as simple as abandoning ship, the crab can talk. It puppet's dead crew members like fleshy kermit the frogs and its taking everyone hostage. Meanwhile the captain, gets mutinied into striking a deal with the monster and begins turning his mutineers into the captor's lunch. Soon its reveal the ship is heading towards a populated island where MRS. Krabs, will unleash her brood turning the isolated town into a buffet. The captain needs to think quickly or risk the deaths of hundreds more.
Faced with impossible odds of survival, the real monsters are plotting and scheming above deck. At one point a vote is called, an 'X' voting to save the crew's skin by sailing the crab to the 24 hour island "all you can eat" or voting to sail the crab to a deserted island but almost certainly perishing, especially if the giant crustacean does its homework and figures things out.
But the captain weeds out the cowards. Turns out everyone voted to save their skin and doom the island population, leaving the honorable captain to set fire to the ships cargo, flash frying the monster and her offspring, while making his heroic escape.
Presentation wise, the score is moody with deep low strings, the art direction is stellar, fx and lighting is gorgeous and besides some clunky dialogue (which is par for the course for every LD&R short) its well voice acted and decently written. The only real short comings are the desperate push to reach a satisfying conclusion and a somewhat obvious one at that.
The human element of the story is the most interesting. Replace giant crab with "we're out of food and stranded at sea" and the drama flows freely. The gory spectacle makes "Bad Travelling" well worth it, but the ticking clock of a VERY patient sea monster feels like artificial incentive to wrap up a tense Fincher short faster than it organically should.
Love, Death & Robots: Zima Blue (2019)
A Stylized Reflection on Art's Gandeur
Today, its easy to spot something within "Zima Blue" that is painfully telling of our near future, and that's "can robots create art?" The rampant spree of digital creators crying out in anguish over the flood of ai's trained to eat pre-existing work and spit out mutant approximations is all the rage. But what this brisk 10 minute short is really prying its metal fingers at, is the nature of grandeur and simplicity within art itself.
So lets for a minute, drop the rage against the machine and examine what this short is really getting at.
A reclusive artistic genius is hounded by a journalist trying to get to the bottom of this enigma. His art pieces begin to take on simple blue squares that tower over sky scrapers and even blot out the sun. When the story finally reaches its 3rd act, we're left with a thesis that rests on simplicity over spectacle. A kind of gratitude instead of an ending lust for a higher universal truth. In a Buddhist turn, gratitude being the universal truth.
Not withholding, the artist may be more machine than man, and coming to this deep well of metaphysical argument is herculean with so little time. Therefore its difficult to really pin the themes down without going into a hundred different tangents. The fact that this wonderfully crafted, well animated and beautifully directed short, achieves all that in 10 minutes, is really impressive.
This is a favourite of mine in the anthology and for many others, for good reason. It has a well earned spot in the sci fi short pantheon.
Baki (2018)
Martial Arts Manga Royalty On Full Display
Keisuke Itagaki is know for his passion and love of martial arts as well as his absurdly almost grotesque art style. His illustrations of battling a giant mantis to a man with weapons surgically implanted in every joint, the insanity of "Baki the Grappler" is on full display in this great anime adaptation.
Are there pacing issues? Yes. Are there bizarre contortions of the human form? Yes. Are we stretching the human body to its absolute most believable limits? 100% and its loads of fun. You'd be hard pressed to find a series this obsessive about getting martial arts right. Between Chinese Kenpo and its long and mythological history, to Judo and Karate's blood stained gi's, you viscerally experience Itagaki's passion he poured into every page. The anime for the most part conveys the strikes, kicks, submissions and blood with impact and power.
If you are starved for a an absolutely insane martial arts anime where men are snapping arms as quickly as they're coughing up grenades in the name of being the strongest thing on the planet, look no further than Baki.
The Gray Man (2022)
The Ryan Gosling Chris Evans Experiment
The audacity of Anthony and Joe Russo. The absolutely sickening audacity to pull two world class talents in Gosling and Evans, sucker them into a by the numbers cia/clancy/cruise stock action movie while running up an over 200 million dollar bill for Netflix. You would have to garner such unbelievable amounts of goodwill from the industry to make this nearsighted conception of an action film come to life, and the Russo's have.
After single handily enabling marvel/disney to wreak havoc on the entire medium for unprecedented amounts of money, they cashed in said goodwill to make a sleek star studded action blockbuster for the behemoth streaming service. What is presented, is an erratic trope marinated affair that skates by almost entirely on Gosling and Evans alone.
Between gratuitous drone shots that perplex instead of thrill, and VFX that match the scene about as well as the average rushed marvel effects, the viewer is left with a hollow experience. Where its well established contemporaries in "Mission Impossible" and "John Wick" ride on its lead while shuffling you through plot points between globe trotting adventures all in the service of completing some main goal, "The Gray Man" convulses every time it has to be reminded of a plot, or that its a movie at all. Only a compelling action film of the highest calibre would stop dead in its tracks manga/anime style to produce a "2 years earlier" flashback to explain character motivation that should have been presupposed. The difference here is that a mangaka can't unrelease a chapter and go back to fix a plothole or heighten drama. Yet a massive film of this scale should have the writing foresight to explain how a man with zero attachments to humanity, would suddenly care about a child with a literal plot device strapped to it.
There in lies the problem. This movie is so concerned with its globe hopping, cutty action and nauseating drone shots it forgot it had (expletive) RYAN (expletive) GOSLING AND (expletive) CHRIS (expletive) EVANS. Two modern action and acting tent poles, who ooze charisma every second they're on screen. Dying to have a showdown against the other. What saves this otherwise pathetic attempt at copying the bond/MI/wick formula is the (somehow not irritating) quip layered dialogue and stellar scene chewing. One can't help but imagine what this movie could have been if you just put these two in the middle of a mall and gave them enough firepower to invade a small country and just left the camera rolling. Doesn't that sound like a better use of 2 hours?
What "The Gray Man" ultimately serves up is a gray burger with a side of gray fries. At some point the fatigue of Gosling and the wickedness of Evans is just dripping off the screen. But the movie almost goes out of its way to ignore it. Going so far as to turn a final confrontation into a cop-out which, even by this movie's braindead standards, stretches the security of an underground military prison to incredible lengths of disbelief.
Its honestly too bad because there is enjoyment to be had, but the Russo's malpractice is enough to warrant this film getting grayed out on my netflix list.
Pain & Gain (2013)
A Shallow Gangster Plot Replacing Cunning for Biceps
The common trope applied to most fitness maximalist is that their muscles might be giant but their brains are shriveled peanuts. This is really not true in any sense. Many bodybuilders are smart, kind and will always promote self improvement over ridiculing the over or underweight. So why does Michael Bay's cheap riff on a criminal thriller/comedy trade every subtlety it might posses for wimpy dick gags and slack jawed voiceover? Because its Michael Bay of course.
Its so painfully clear from the outset of the movie, Bay wants to make his "Goodfellas." Complete with speedy music infused montages (at one point sourcing "Can't you hear me knocking") and explanatory v/o, centered around a meat head Machiavelli Marky Mark. What the Transformers kingpin doesn't understand is that Scorsese is working with a loaded roster of acting talent, and never strays too far from the human story of the crime. Bay is far more insecure in his storytelling. Instead of letting his characters stew and marinade in their actions, he must cut away as quickly as possible. Forcing a joke or snapping to a voice over to explain away any work the audience might have to do in connecting to the buff faux gangsters. What should be a powder keg of crime and punishment, cat and mouse between Ed Harris's retired detective and Lugo's muscle bound goon squad, is an on rails experience that never goes above coasting speed.
Based on true events, (which the movie will remind you over and over again like you are fresh from a lobotomy) personal trainer Daniel Lugo, gets a twisted sense of self actualization in the cradle of the american dream, and decides to kidnap his rich client, Tony Shalhoub. Roped into his scheme is an impotent insecure Anthony Mackie and an absolutely shredded born again christian ex-convict Dwyane "The Rock" Johnson. Notably this was one of the Rock's roles before he became pigeon held to family friendly action star, transforming into a walking commercial for energy drinks and disney stock. So its delightful to see the massive muscles of the Rock in a more twisted role, where he can showoff his charisma and flex his own subtle acting charm.
As you could imagine, the kidnapping goes about as well as you'd assume. The boys are able to shakedown Tony Shalhoub for all he's worth, but inevitably the law catches up to them. After a bizarre 3rd act involving some comical deaths and an adult video mogul's wife and her giant fake bazongas. The movie ends with an abrupt sentencing, and we're left a story that for all its bulk, doesn't have much meat on its bones.
Again it all goes back to Bay. Who's ability to create shots, whizzing the camera in and out of rooms with incredible precision. Slow motion dolly's that are a treat to watch. The lighting is excellent, creating bleach white Miami exteriors and dark orange lit dungeons. Per usual, Bay is unbelievably talented behind the camera but the bones of his films are malformed and broken.
In the end the setting for this film being Miami and centered on boring outlines of stupid muscle man, tells you all you need to know about this superficial spray tanned plastic movie experience.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
Cruise Soars Into Blockbuster Stratospheres
What else is there to say about this movie that a trailer wouldn't tell you? Is it a soft reboot of the 80's cheese and US NAVY commercial that is the original Top Gun? Yes. Does it wallow around in its own nostalgia? A little. Does this movie kick more ass then any other summer box office Goliath this year? Absolutely.
Between covid stalling the release and a gimmick centered around real life cockpit shots of the beautiful insane man Tom Cruise and friends, as they pull--honest to god--real G's, thousands of feet in the air... it seemed like "Top Gun: Maverick" was going to a be a shallow cash grab of a homoerotic fighter jet classic. This movie is a cash grab, but every second of the jet engines screaming across the screen and the camera mounted inside and out of these angels of death, more then forgive the nature of the films inception.
Cruise--the endless charisma magnet--does nothing but ooze personality in every scene hes in. Usually standing next to stock cardboard pilots on his air force suicide mission crew. Miles Teller as Goose's son (hilariously dubbed Rooster) does what he can with the role, and Jennifer Connelly puts in a subtle performance as a jaded bar tender. But the second Cruise gets in the cockpit, the film is his.
Sounds are explosive, delivering thrilling shock and awe. Music is fine with requisite callbacks. Editing is fast paced, keeping you involved, while begrudgingly pumping the brakes for softer character moments not taking place in an F-18. And the effects flipping between real life fighters and the in-cockpit performances are seamless.
The film is truly a shinning gem amongst superhero fatigue and animated musicals when it comes to mainstream box office fair. Its story is forgettable but its moments are one of a kind. But all roads come back to Cruise.
He is an enigma. A film making supernova. An utter and complete maniac. What he does to draw your eyes to a movie screen is nothing short of magic. He is the life of the party. He is hitting red on roulette every turn causing the table to erupt. He is jumping between buildings, ACTUALLY flying planes, throwing his body out of cars.
"Top Gun: Maverick" solidifies Tom Cruise isn't done putting an excited smile on your face every time he steps in front of the camera.
Love, Death & Robots: Mason's Rats (2022)
Rats Vs Robots
Mason (Craig Ferguson) of "Mason's Rats" is a foul mouthed Scottish farmer who has a problem every farmer must contend with at some point, rats. But these aren't just any rats, they're organized rats. Set in the near future with some hand waiving pseudo-biology, the rats have advanced to an early technological age. Their society resembling that of the 11th century Scottish clan's themselves, with rudimentary swords and bows for warfare. So Mason calls an exterminator to handle these vermin, but this is sci-fi after all. The exterminator is a cheesy salesmen peddling auto pest killing lasers and most terrifying of all a pint sized chrome murderbot.
Where the fun lies in this brisk 10 minute short is watching the tug-of-war between the farmer and the early rat civilization. Its easy to empathize with Mason's grouchy charm and pest problem. But quickly the viewer begins rooting for the rats. As the 80's caricature of a used car salesmen deploys more hi-tech modes of dealing with the rats, the rats outsmart their exterminator. This leads to a veritable arms race where we no longer feel threatened by the tiny creatures but instead join their cause.
After some absolutely gruesome rat genocide by the latest murderbot, we find our hearts (and Mason's) completely won over by their tiny last stand. To see such cold calculated death rain down on a minuscule species carving out their own place in a human dominated world, transforms them from pests to people.
Its in the last moments when Mason has had enough with the bloodshed and ends the war, that a possible harmony between rat and man glimmers. Could such an accord be reached or would a "rise of the planet of the apes" be the only outcome? One things for sure, "Mason's Rats" is a bloody, glorious and charming short that treats its 4 legged mammals as hero's of their own tale.
Luca (2021)
Pixar's Immaculate Italian Seaside
A beautifully rendered painting of an early 1950's Italian sea village is the backdrop for one of the strongest recent entries into the Pixar pantheon. "Luca" is full of heart, charm, laughs, betrayal and utterly gut punching moments of poignant beauty.
At a break neck pace we are introduced to resident seamonster boy Luca (Jackson Tremblay) acting as an underwater shepherd for a school of fish, he is taught to fear the surface and humankind by his oddball parents. Stumbling on some human items via "Little Mermaid" curiosity, Luca makes friends with the carefree Alberto (Jack Dylan Grazer). Alberto, who is also a seamonster, walks freely on land. Its then revealed the seamonter's innate gift is to camouflage as humans the second they dry off.
From here Luca feels a tad boiler plate for pixar/disney. Experiencing boyhood enthusiasm in quick cut montages as Luca and Alberto's bond grows deeper and stronger. But it can't be helped to suddenly fall in love with their chemistry as they construct DIY vespas and race them off a cliff with raucous joy.
When Luca's parents learn of his escapades, he must flee to a seaside town with his new best friend or be banished to the Mariana Trench to live with his weird angler fish uncle (played by a hilariously brief Sacha Baron Cohen). So the story changes gears from boyhood wonder and discovery into race against the clock to escape a seamonster's fate. The answer to the boy's dilemma is Giulia (Emma Berman), the glue that keeps the entire story from trundling to a halt and supercharges the screen with endless charisma. Guilia and the boys form a team to compete in a triathlon and win the prize money needed to purchase a decrepit vespa, allowing Luca and Alberto to travel the world together.
The concept here isn't particularly original, but the way its executed is masterful. Luca and Alberto's relationship organically evolves, and just as quickly as you buy their brotherhood, Guilia appears to create a far more fascinating dynamic. Where a Sebastian the Crab nags or Jane from Tarzan becomes a damsel to be rescued. Luca must make choices between Alberto and Guilia. All the while the scenes bounce with gorgeous visuals and more than a handful of laugh out loud moments. There may be stock jealously tropes and brushes with the two disguised seamonsters in danger of being revealed. But the directors so tactfully flip these clichés on their head, the reveals aren't so much a plot device as they are emotional TNT. This only serves to add to the investment into Luca's struggles for the tumultuous finale.
At 1h35 minutes "Luca" never drops below cruising altitude yet somehow doesn't feel rushed. Some moments play harder and faster than others but the true power of the film lies in the emotional core of the main three. Trading family drama or generational turmoil for blossoming friendships and monster tug-of-wars. A film that can easily resonate with anyone yearning to discover the world and find a few friends along the way.
Love, Death & Robots: The Very Pulse of the Machine (2022)
A Psychadelic Astronaut Survival Trial
It's honestly shocking how many attempts we've had at large scale space psychedelia in the past decade or so. Interstellar with its bloated imagination of time travel. Ad Astra and its heart of darkness in the cosmos. Finally Guardians of the Galaxy with its pop rock spectacle. This was a genre reserved for bands like Hawkwind, ELO, Rush. But the visual medium in the 2010-2020's is still mingling with those acid laced ideas from the 70's.
With updated technology and a striking visual style, giving everything a cell shaded sheen, "The Very Pulse of the Machine" is less of a survival story and more of a debate on enough drugs to see Evangelion monsters forming out of the moon rock.
Our hero is a lone survivor from a spaceship crashed into a moon on the far reaches of our solar system. Injured and injecting amphetamine remotely like a space crackhead, she must drag her recently departed crewmate to an alluded rescue point. The loose plot is really the only knock on this fantastic struggle to survive. But once the drugs kick in and the ghost of her teammate begins asking her questions that many would wish remain unasked, the 17 minute short expands to mind bending size.
In the end we're left with a choice. What started as a quest to survive turns into a mortal argument with our selfish human trappings and those of an ascendant being. We are asked: if given the opportunity to die with humanity and turn to dust or join a chorus of cosmic voices, perhaps the answer isn't so much choice but an inevitability.
Encanto (2021)
A Beautiful But Shallow South American Family Fantasy
Told at first like a fairy tale with a colourful Columbian backdrop, "Encanto" becomes a loose collection of plot threads that lead from one bombastic fluid explosion of song and dance to the next with deft precision. The entire film plays out like raucous stage musical with little regard for narrative structure or payoff. Which makes sense when collaborators like Lin Manuel Miranda are involved, who's rapid fire rapping over melodic triumphs is ingrained in every beat.
Mirabel (a fantastic performance from Stephanie Beatriz), the quirky adorable focus tested protagonist is our narrator and focal point as she recounts through beautiful visuals the birth of the magical family Madrigal. A lone Matriarch Abuela (María Cecilia Botero) and her three infant triplets, lost in the dark jungles after the sacrifice of her husband were given a miracle home which grew into a miracle village, Encanto. The miracle itself giving Abuela's offspring magical powers ranging from the Mr. Incredible super strength of Luisa to the clairvoyance of resident hermit Bruno. The catch being Mirabel herself has no powers, and becomes the catalyst to the magical home's cracking foundation.
Unfortunately, this is really all the film has to offer. In its brisk 1h42 minutes, we travel around the magical domains of the house trying to piece together why the family Madrigal is losing its magical pizzazz. The plot being in service of the host of musical slam dunks that every parent will hear on repeat until the next Disney lab grown animated musical based on an ethnic fairy tale comes to terrorize them again. Truly inspiring how a soulless evil corporation is able to continue "borrowing" the stories and figures of other less fortunate, less white nations, and grossing more then double the original countries GDP in a weekend.
The mouse aside, the film is packed to the brim with talented latino voices. The bumping tracks mixing joyous columbian piano and spanish guitars, while fussing Miranda's own trap and hip hop inspired rhythms. But once you get past the music you're left with a film that has little interest in its own mythology. Completely content to just sing and dance its way to a third act that feels like an after thought. Complete with a sad strumming spanish ballad, that feels like bargain bin "UP."
Its easy to be entertained and the film itself isn't obnoxious, but it does little to stand out amongst the horde of animated musicals that are being produced at an assembly line pace.
Turning Red (2022)
A Delightful Fluffy Coming of Age
The most vocal crowd weighing in on this film is not the target audience. That's one strike. The criticism against the animation are unfounded, and any cg artist worth their salt will agree. That's two strikes. Finally the Pixar pantheon is indeed not what it used to be, but calling "Turning Red" the period metaphor that broke Disney's back is absurd. That's the third strike.
Meilin (Rosalie Chiang) is a young daughter of chinese immigrants living in Toronto, during the early 2000's. One day, Mei is suddenly able to change into a giant NHL mascot sized fluffy red panda, the trigger being the fluctuation of her emotions.
The story here is a personal one. Told between her pressures at school to succeed, her overbearing mother, boys boys boys boys and her tightly knit friend group, all of whom are oozing with personality. At the core of this story we have a girl becoming a women which metaphorically tap dances in red panda shoes. Its easy to see those that dream of toy sized epics and beautiful undersea odysseys, feel left out in the cold. Lambasting anything that doesn't adhere to their own childhood memories.
That's not to say "Turning Red" doesn't manage its own expectations. With a bombastic kaiju final act and enough gags to keep you smiling, the only real divide between older Pixar movies and this one, is the male dominated narrative. Domee Shi has packed in enough heart and cute anime influence to power a small dragon con. But where the film actually stumbles is in its execution. Where plot threads start to dangle, and misdirection is missing, we're left with blunt lines of dialogue to clearly forecast what the final challenge is that Mei must overcome. In the end its more of a Disney commandment, than a creative one. Slicing time off a film in the name of short attention spans, like a careless butcher carves up carcasses.
With a beautiful pastel look, absolutely stunning animation (including the awe inspiring meticulously rendered Panda fur) and a heart melting journey of family and adolescent change, "Turning Red" is not the big red beasts its made out to be. Instead, its a cuddly red one that offers a warm soothing hug.
Love, Death & Robots: In Vaulted Halls Entombed (2022)
Neat Unreal Engine Demo
Doing an homage to Lovecraft is like covering Led Zeppelin. They're both super popular, endlessly emulated and almost no one gets it right. The reason is, for zeppelin, those 70s hard rock jams are packed to the brim with subtleties and complexity (a tad plagiarized but that's another conversation). Most bands will learn a song or two but can't combine all the pieces together into the real deal. No drummer sounds like Bonham, singers can't sniff Plant's range and the virtuosity of Page and JPJ are one of a kind.
Lovecraft is all about atmosphere, dread and the most cosmic of cosmic horrors suffocating your thoughts with every step into madness. What "In Vaulted Halls Entombed" tries, is a weak attempt at ripping off "Predator" where the predator is Cthulu. This doesn't work for a thousand reasons. So many faults any man would gouge their eyes out to avoid the horrific cosmic mediocrity.
All-American marines stumble into a cave somewhere in not-Afghanistan hunting not-terrorist and find little glowy bacteriophages that turn their battle brothers and sisters into purple soup. From there, deeper into the cave we find the ancient prison of a lovecraftian dark god who uses its cursed tongue to control the seargent forcing the lowly private to put her beloved CO in the ground before he unleashes an apocalyptic evil.
There's some tension and some brutal deaths but thats about it. With only 15 minutes its tough to set up the tone while slowly building dreaful atmosphere. But much like the marines, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Lovecraft is the opposite of a straight line. So we get carboard gun people getting killed with little regard and the only moment of fear is what might become of our world if this dark god is finally released. But thats quickly silenced and we're left with an almost comical conclusion of our "hero" self-blinded wandering the desert tripping over rocks.
What keeps this short from total failure is the use of the unreal engine. My god does this ever look good. Lighting effects, facial animation, atmosphere effects, dust, debris, liquids, solids. It really blows me away and excites me for what game developers are going to do with this technology.
Anyway, now you know why every cover you've heard of black dog sounds like trash.
Love, Death & Robots: Kill Team Kill (2022)
Crude Dudes with Annoying Attitudes
What is the obsession with making your cartoon characters swear? I can always feel the feeble screen writer peppering their dialogue with f-bombs to try and heighten the situations or comedy of their cardboard characters. But having weak characters bark obscenities in an act of realism and empathy just comes off as crass and stupid. The point here is that your f-bomb needs to be earned. Much like "Kill Team Kill" none of it was earned.
The colorful sleek saturday morning animation is really gorgeous. Most of the blood drenched gore on screen is rendered like a cocaine fueled GI Joe for the parents. The antagonizing robo-beast is even a relatively fun design. However, a weak story that does little other than shuffle our vapid all american bros to the next bloody cartoonish death is emblematic of this meandering 13 minute short.
There are no real stakes besides the lives of our stock action squad, but the only loss here was such brilliant animation wasted on a DOA concept.