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Reviews
Don't Hang Up (2016)
*Dramatic zoom out* BROS FOR LIFE
Am I meant to like these characters? I've seen this woman for 2 minutes, she literally just comes in and kisses a guy. Am I meant to care about her? Who tf is the pizza guy, why do I care he's dead? Who tf is is prank monkey?
Wtf are these camera pans, they're god awful
Summary:
-10 minutes into the film I predicted they'd end with a news report about how this was a bad situation; surprise, it does.
-30 minutes into the film I predicted the killers motives
-"Bros for life"
-a pinnacle moment in the film, where our CHAD of the film is dying, what does the victim say? "Bros for life" I BURST OUT LAUGHING
-the most god damn obvious plot twists which will only surprise those that have watched at max 2 thrillers, why did OUR CHAD, wearing the villains outfit, try swinging at our main character??
-I swear you should never EVER in a horror/thriller have a zoom out camera pan it looks god awful and comical. The literal last scene is a zoom out of the main character, who REFUSED TO DROP THE WEAPONS INCRIMINATING HIM, look up at the sky dramatically, no joke.
This is awful, just awful. Awful cinematography, awful characters, awful horror, cringy script, awful plot twists, awful plot, awful killer or whatever he is.
BROS FOR LIFE
Bad Samaritan (2018)
"Dumb kid go away" - every film that doesn't understand how law enforcement worked
David Tennant does a great job pulling off a basic character like this. To sum it up for you: a standard psychopath, in public he's relaxed but in private he's WILD. Nothing original. But David makes it work with his great acting.
The law enforcement in this are ridiculously dumb. Law enforcement, when there's a report of a kidnapping, will search a house regardless of who comes out talking at a door.
If you are burgling and house but find something you shouldn't, you can report it without worrying about receiving consequences for breaking in!
A detective would not easily dismiss a case like it was nothing and make a ridiculous excuse about relationship problems, mocking a person for reporting it!
Furthermore, some of the music was questionable. If you choose to watch this, in the final scenes this is made extremely obvious.
Apparently people are deaf if the plot requires it.
Apparently the law enforcement do not take kidnapping cases seriously
Apparently law enforcement cannot investigate a crime scene correctly,
Apparently direct evidence does not lead to anything.
If you're ok with logic not making too much sense, and you're just watching for the fun and for the sake of it, watch it.
If you get frustrated by dumb choices and illogical situations, you can still watch it, but prepare to feel the tilt.
Busanhaeng (2016)
"Meh"
WILL INDICATE SPOILERS Starring: -A boring monotonous main character -A little girl you don't care about -stereotypical strong man -Weirdly young looking old ladies -A predictable bad guy
The film starts strong, giving you an interesting situation tensely introduced (though dismiss the fact theirs a homeless man on the train for no reason). It then dissolves into a wonderful outbreak occurring, very well done. But then it begins to try make you care about characters that are just bad at acting... the main actor is dreadful. You literally won't feel any care at all for him, or the little girl that non stop complains. As you'd expect a film like this needs the also have a pregnant women so you feel some tension, and while this is quite stereotypical, she was one of the better actors in the film.
The story is just abysmal, and the main character doesn't help at all. A stereotypical business man must get his kid to safety. But get ready for multiple references to how horrible he is. The whole plot has a nice general idea ruined by stupid situations where you'll find yourself saying "really?" A lot. SPOILERS: Also, if you've watched it... how did they expect to "verify" anything walking through the tunnel when it's "too dark"??? Looks like they'll be shooting everyone on sight.
TLDR: Poor acting, forced situations, and SO many stereotypical characters will make you go "really?" One too many times.
Walking with the Dead (2015)
Good introduction, everything else bad
Honestly, i wish I could enjoy this film, as I force myself to laugh at scenes which are so awkwardly unfunny. Such as a 5 minute scene of constant cross cutting between two cars of which the characters discuss things, it drops in a couple of jokes that are so...bad.
Acting is what you'd expect in a film like this however, I did enjoy Carol (or Chris or whatever his name is) as this kid seems to be aggressive and fun. A character I HUGELY didn't enjoy was Romeo, the zombie. His narrative voice is so bad and cringe-worthy that it's painful to watch. Apart from the acting, another segment that truly got on my nerves was how it's high (on marijuana segment). Another example of at least 5 minutes being spent on pointless, unfunny and awkward comments between characters. The awkward flirting was meant to be funny but it sure as hell wasn't. The whole thing also seems to try force-feed the idea that drugs are good idea. It feels so forced, it wasn't needed in any way and yet the writer put it in there. Like 2 minutes of them laughing and smashing small objects. Uh-hu, because increasing the pitch of a character and slowing it down so that u can experience all there laughing sure is funny. The only part I found funny, of which I found EXTREMELY FUNNY, was when in the beginning, our main protagonist has to get his first kill, it's a little girl. He says that he doesn't want his to first kill to be a girl only for the girl to turn around and say she isn't a zombie and is looking for her father. He then replies "that's what a zombie would say" and shoots her. He walks a bit forwards to a car where her father is asleep in the car and wakes up to say "have you seen my daughter?" That cracked me up. This is the only part that made me truly laugh. In a comedy.
Fameless (2015)
How is this a prank show?
For a comedy show, it has no humour. Each little "sketch" I shall say seems so fake and odd it's not amusing. Reactions are so underwhelming and it feels awkward to watch with others. Seriously, how can I believe this isn't scripted when one of the people discover something very serious in a car boot only for him to sound bored while saying "oh no". After being revealed he's on a prank show he does a little skip with no sense of surprise.... Honestly, I was just quite disappointed. Only once have I ever seen a person react genuinely (or seem to react genuinely). I'd stick to other prank shows and avoid this. Maybe, a person would enjoy this if they like the idea of the situations the people end up in however, in the end, the actual people aren't fun to watch.