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Reviews
Nightstalker (2002)
Sigh...
Well, this movie was, quite frankly, on crack. It was really jumpy (kind of like an even more drugged-out Requiem for a Dream - which says a lot.) This worked in some places, particularly when the NightStalker was, in fact, doing drugs. However, the part that has him walking up the stairs a good half-dozen times was too much.
This movie in no way told the story of Richard Ramirez (or Robert Ramirez, as the summary on this website says.) The most glaring problem? Ramirez is currently awaiting execution on California's death row, for goodness sakes! I heart Danny Trejo, so that was probably this films saving grace. Even so, all I can say is: I watched it once. I would not be opposed to watching it again, but believe me, I will not be the one saying, "Hey, you know what would be GREAT to watch right now?! Nightstalker!"
Campfire Stories (2001)
I want my hour and a half back...
Not many movies have made me cry. WIth Campfire Stories, I was on the verge of tears. Not because it touched me, no no... because I started to think about how I'd wasted 5 bucks on this obvious, clichéd piece of tripe. I mean, it started out innocently enough; how could it go wrong with such 1st rate stars as Jamie-Lynn Sigler/DiScala and "Buster Poindexter," and from the writer/director of "The Day The Ponies Came Back" and "Coallition?" Honestly, Ranger Bill was really the only upside to this movie. He was hilarious what with his, "That reminds me of this other story...." and what not. I was also pleased to see what I thought was a Misfits cover band in the final scene. Then I realized, "Oh. Wow. That isn't a Misfits cover band, that's really them... Guys. No..."
Strangeland (1998)
My dog's poop is less crappy than this...
What can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said... If anyone suggests seeing it, run as far away as you can as fast as you can. There were some moments that I enjoyed, for example, the various pop culture references. Well, that's really about it. I found myself compelled to count Captain Howdy's piercings, and asked at regular intervals, "Is it over yet? Why isn't it over yet? Do we have to watch the rest?" At the end, I was smiling from ear to ear because, yes, it was FINALLY over, and I knew that (as the body mod aspect of this movie disgusted my boyfriend) that I would never have to sit through it again.
Just how bad is it? It made Campfire Stories look like an Oscar-worthy piece of fine cinema.