crystalline-46579 Reviews

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)

Disappointing but not awful

[6/10 · 18 June 2021]

There is a lot of bad horror movies out there, so I wouldn't call this bad I guess. The first 2 movies set a high bar for the 3rd installment. I was definitely expecting better. There is a few creepy or tense moments but more often I found myself feeling something I hadn't felt with the other movies. Boredom. 3/4 through I had to pause it to deal with something and I have yet to finish it a week later. I don't feel like I'm missing out. Honestly the real story this is based on is more interesting. If they had focused more on that, starting with the possession of the little boy and leading up to the murder by the sisters boyfriend months later it may have been better. Instead if feels more like a footnote tacked onto the fictional story of Lorraine battling a Satanist going around cursing people. We spent so little time with Arnie that I doubt anyone really cares about his struggles or whether he was facing the death penalty for his crime under the influence of a "curse".

Nobody's Looking (2019)

Cute, funny, intriguing show

[8/10 · 1 April 2020]

I'm about half way through the season and am really enjoying each episode. The premise is not new but they've put enough twists and quirky touches to make it feel different. My only regret is having to watch the english dubbed version at the moment.

Daybreak (I) (2019)

Supporting characters make the show

[7/10 · 25 November 2019]

Its a fun bit of entertainment for those who aren't tv snobs. The main hero is so-so, I never really cared much about his story and his mission. Because of that I wasnt sure I'd get past the first episode but all the supporting characters are what bring the show to life. The more I saw of them the more I wanted to watch. I hope we get to see more of Angelica, Ms. crumble, Wesley, Mona Lisa, Turbo, ect in season 2. sadly no Eli :(

Emerald City (2016–2017)

Too bad it's cancelled

[7/10 · 11 March 2019]

I can see some of the points made by other reviewers that didnt like it but they are taking them to the extreme. The show is not garbage. The set pieces and costumes are beautiful. The story line is not stupid or confusing if you know how to put 2 and 2 together without the writers spelling it all out for you. I had the opportunity to binge watch it without commercials but I can see for anyone who was watching as it aired each week would be less forgiving of faults. I really liked Dorothy and Lucas and their journey. Tip a.k.a. Ozma's story was interesting but I was less interested in the other storylines. That doesnt mean they were bad or without purpose, they just felt like an interruption of the story I actually cared about. The ending of the season had very little resolution, if any at all. There is a lot more story to tell that would undoubtedly be more exciting in season 2. Like the fight against this "beast forever" that we've been hearing about, who Dorothy inadvertently set free from a magical prison. Dorothy and Lucas finding their way back to eachother and finding out what exactly Dorothy is. Shes obviously not just an average human born in Oz and raised in Kansas. Sadly we'll never get that.

There are so many shows about cops and doctors and family drama, rehabbing houses ect and so few options with in the fantasy genre that it's a bit frustrating when a decent one comes around yet isnt allowed to tell it's full story.

The Order: Hell Week, Part One (2019) Season 1, Episode 1

Not the worst pilot, not the best

[6/10 · 10 March 2019]

There were parts I liked about the pilot while other parts were a bit off. Example: In the very beginning Jack begins to read a college rejection letter at his mother's graveside. After a brief scene of a disagreement between higher ups at said college the words on his letter rearrange before his eyes. Surprise! Hes actually been accept with a full scholarship. Jack's shock at seeing this happen is so mild- he's more excited about his acceptance- that you're led to believe that he knows about magic to some degree. He doesnt mention this miracle to his grandfather either. Later when he finds out the Order is a secret society of magic users he seems like he never had a clue.

It was amusing to see Jack kidnapped by a fraternity before he can even set foot on the campus proper.

You see a hint of badass fighting skills when Jack takes down a bully in a brief scuffle. Sadly you never get to see these skills again.

His chemistry with Alyssa is cute if a bit awkward. I like how their relationship grows. Thankfully there is no triangle this time around.

I liked the characters and the premise enough to keep watching but pilots are notoriously bad and this one doesnt break the mold. A lot of people wont give this show a chance, that's too bad. While it does lack that certain 'oomph' to make it great, its entertaining enough for a specific audience range within the genre. The potential for much better storytelling next season, if there is one, is very intriguing.

The Order (2019–2020)

Great for teens and people that aren't TV snobs

[8/10 · 9 March 2019]

I liked this show, it kept me entertained during a boring afternoon. The premise was interesting enough, I liked the main characters. Acting wasnt any worse than most comparable shows. The potential for the world building is intriguing. I'd really like to know more about it and what happens to Jack. Is it cliche? Yup, sure is. There is nothing new under the sun, every show is cliche. So that doesnt really bother me. The CGI isn't great but what lower budget supernatural show has that? Not to mention werewolves are hard man! I give them props for being able to do something tolerable. I feel a second season would be much better if only because a higher budget might be given.

If you're not a TV snob that has to focus in on every tiny flaw, and you love any kind of supernatural show, you'll probably like this. It does get better as it goes on, don't throw in the towel and judge the entire season after watching only one or two episodes. It usually takes me 3 or 4 to finally decide if I like it or not. It kind of reminds me a bit of Shadowhunters mixed with a dash of vampire diaries and a sprinkle of mature language.

Gerald's Game (2017)

Good till the end.

[5/10 · 20 February 2019]

I haven't read the novel but I assume some parts are more fleshed out like the whole moonlight man subplot. I mostly enjoyed this movie but that subplot felt like it was thrown in as an afterthought. If you completely removed it you'd still have a good movie and it wouldn't feel like anything was missing. My only other real complaint is there was a lot of missed opportunities for showing instead they chose to tell which wasnt always as effective. The actress was great at carrying the film. That isnt easy so kudos to her.

I Am Dragon (2015)

Wonderful story

[10/10 · 7 February 2019]

I'm kind of blown away by this movie. Even after reading all the good reviews my expectations were low considering I'm used to the usual American garbage. Im very surprised and disappointed that it was a box office bomb in Russia. I cant think of a recent romantic fantasy that is better, or any for that matter. it's not usually a genre that's done well or that often. The cinematography was beautiful, the characters likeable and believable, the story is touching. Reading subtitles sounds like a chore but the original language makes it all the more magical. Theres not much to criticize and that says a lot. If you dont like sweet or innocent romance and all the tropes that go with it then I suppose you'll hate it. If you like lots of violence and big explosions and sex then you'll probably hate it. You get to see the relationship grow for once. Yes you know what's going to happen start to end but I still enjoyed it. The ending could have gone either way (happy or sad) and I'm satisfied with what they chose.

Take Two (II) (2018)

Cute and light

[7/10 · 6 August 2018]

This is one of those shows your'e either going to like or absolutely hate. Personally I like it. The dynamic between eddie and sam is cute. Sam's recent past of being a wild drug and alcohol abuser is not believable. shes is just too rainbows and sunshine to have so recently crawled out of such a dark hole but that's fine with me. If It was more realistic I'd probably get depressed. This is something for people who want something lighter than some of it's very serious relatives but not quite in the sitcom territory. I like how silly sam is and how serious eddie is and how she brings the fun out of him.

Lucifer: Once Upon a Time (2018) Season 3, Episode 26

Great alternative beginning

[10/10 · 2 June 2018]

It was really fascinating to see how things might have turned out if one small thing had been changed. I really enjoyed the episode and would have liked to see it in its original slot during season 4. Please save the show so we can see more great episodes like this.

Lucifer (2016–2021)

Great show!

[10/10 · 2 June 2018]

This is one of those shows that even when its driving you crazy you love it. I can honestly say there's not a single episode that didnt tug some emotion out of me. Whether it was a laugh a tear or a gasp of anger, that's what great entertainment is about. Making you feel! I was hungry for ever episode anxious to see what happened next. The cast is amazing, the chemistry between them brings so much life to the characters! The season finale gave the fans something they were salivating for blowing wide endless story lines for season 4. The world desires to see those stories. With so many fans crying out for more from the US to Brazil to Malaysia to the UK to Australia and on and on how can someone not resurrect this fabulous show?

Bright (I) (2017)

Better than critics say but leaves a lot of ??

[7/10 · 31 December 2017]

I really enjoyed this movie. On the buddy cop end it was pretty good but the fantasy end was actually fairly light id say. Most of the fantasy elements were only briefly explained or implied. Humans, elves and orcs are the main inhabitants of this alternate world but we do see a centuar standing guard outside the police station then later a dragon flying across the sky in the distance. Fairies are implied to be pests but we only ever see one in the begining then again as the credits roll. Kind of like will smiths beloved family oddly enough. My biggest complaint about this movie is there wasnt time to explore more aspects of the world and its obviously rich history. That and the villians were one dimensional. It was hard to grasp their motivation for wanting to rise some nameless dark lord from the dead. Seems to me that if the inherently evil elven bright had her all powerful wand she wouldnt need to raise an ancient big bad from the grave. In any case rapace and her buddies give us some good fight scenes and she looks badass. It would be interesting to see a part 2 or a series that could delve deeper into the world even if its with fresh characters.

Mother! (2017)

Not for the average viewer. Trailer is deceptive.

[3/10 · 31 December 2017]

I have a tendency to subject myself to some bizarre movies so i wasnt particularly shocked and/or surprised by anything in mother! With so much symbolism and refrences both obscure and blatant i feel bad for the average movie goer hungry for good story telling. Especially since the trailer was so evilly deceptive. maybe that was just part of the heavily religious "theme". The movie started out well enough. It was weird but intriguing and i enjoyed all the actors performances. Once ed harris and Pfeiffer evaporate it takes a hard left into la la land and i dont mean the musical. Any real story telling is left behind and it just becomes a series of beautiful disturbing shots of the directors personal view of god, humanity, the world ect. Maybe because it was getting towards the end and it had yet to establish a coherent point so lets just throw everything in and stir the pot.Fine i get it but i want to be entertained in return. You dont need to spell everything out but you shouldnt entice people in with promises of great actors, cinematography and a dramatic/thrilling story then vomit out two hrs of petty lazy esoteric B.S. the message could have been delivered in a better way that was still obscure/pretentious but relevent to a cohesive story line. i went in with an idea how it would be and was still mildly pissed. others wont be so lucky and they are going to be really mad.

The Vampire Diaries (2009–2017)

really love it

[10/10 · 18 May 2016]

I avoided TVD for six seasons. I read the original books as a young teen and never really cared for that version of Elena. Thought she was a b*tch. One day while laid up in bed I decided to give a couple episodes a try, next thing I know I've binged through 6 seasons in an undisclosed amount of time. Seriously I can't explain what that does to a person's brain or the amount of reintegration required to get back to civilization. Anyways the show was heartfelt, funny, irritating, intriguing etc. It was definitely odd to hear someone being called a "Dick" every episode if not multiple times as if there was nothing else in the universe you could call someone. Oh that's right it's the CW. Loved Damon's cocky loose cannon but big softy way down deep character and I actually liked Elena for the most part. Not positive why everyone hates her. And can't forget Caroline, that was some great character development. I haven't bothered watching season 7 and probably won't until the show finally ends and I know Elena will be back for at least the series finally. I need to know I'll have closure on the whole delena thing before I commit to more seasons. For me the story was about her and now that she's gone it's just not the same.

The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)

psychological "horror" not for the typical horror fan

[2/10 · 18 May 2016]

Atmosphere, performance, and musical score were all excellent but I don't see the average horror fan enjoying it much. No jump-scares. Other than the initial infant sacrifice there wasn't anything truly horrifying, gruesome or scary. The religious/superstitious/paranoia among the family is the real focus and anything supernatural that happens is more of a punctuation mark. The music keeps you feeling tense and unsettled throughout, which I'm impressed by, good eerie music can make a scene of someone washing dishes seem ominous, but visually everything is pretty anticlimactic. It's not a bad movie but it's not one that sticks with you. It's a one and done kind of movie.

The 5th Wave (2016)

honestly not horrible but read books first

[6/10 · 13 May 2016]

I saw the movie before reading the book and while I thought it was "okay" it really felt hastily edited. I understand you really can't fit the complete depth and detail of a novel into 112 minutes but some much needed information/explanations, which would have only taken seconds, would have cleared up some of the confusion and plot holes. After reading the book the movie makes a lot more sense and I can appreciate it a little more, even after all the deviations and heavy filters. That said I don't think it's fair for directors/ producers/screenwriters to expect the masses to essentially "do their homework" before they can properly understand and enjoy a movie, that's just bad story telling. And that's unfortunate for the possible franchise that will probably go much the way The Mortal Instruments did, which could have been very successful if they had at least attempted to do the story justice.