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sandliver
Reviews
American Cannibal: The Road to Reality (2006)
Teaser Trailers and Plugs Pan Out to Be 87 Minutes of Wasted Time
I will try not to do what this movie just did to me ... waste much of your time ... but unlike most of the other comments that I have read here on IMDb, I did NOT see this film at Tribeca. I just watched the highly anticipated premiere on SHOWTIME. After seeing the trailers and adverts, I just HAD to watch this, being a "closet fan" of reality TV. I COULD NOT WAIT! My anticipation soon turned into ...
Frustration ... Now that I have seen it ... TRUST ME, take my word for it, this STINKER will steal 87 minutes of your life that you will never get back. The movie is NOTHING what the trailers fool you into thinking you will see! Actually, you will not believe what you do end up experiencing ... I PROMISE ... things such as, but not limited to:
(Potential Spoilers follow ...)
a) Watching a girl get completely naked with her tampon string flopping around like a white tail! (Tampon Island?) b) Enduring the lisping, or other speech impediment, of one of the narrators / main characters c) Men crying like school girls (pathetic) d) More disingenuous ass kissing that could ever come natural e) So much contrived BS even my Grandma would not believe it all! f) And on, and on, and on ...
Bound by Lies (2005)
I could barely have it on for background noise!
This clunker-stinker was just on ShowTime Too ... thank goodness I was actually working on the computer! Just hearing the insipid banter, throughout this waste of celluloid, was enough to make me actually BEG my wife to turn it off. She replied: (many times) "I can't turn away from this train-wreck!" And, yes, as noted by another poor reviewer who lost two hours of his life; even a bloated Kristy Swanson couldn't rescue this film version of nails on a blackboard. And as for Baldwin ... I don't think any explanation is needed? I would suggest that two hours of watching the Weather Channel is time better spent; you might actually catch a plot line and the ending will be far better!