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All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)
You know we are all trying to get you right?
I marked this as containing spoilers, but that's all subjective, what you consider spoilers might not be considered spoilers by others or myself. So with that said, let's get on with it eh?
I don't care what anyone says, this film is hardly clever. For a student project, it would be considered well done. Unfortunately that's the only case in which this should be regarded as well done. This is nothing more than a slow paced teen slasher with generic characters, substandard plot, and terrible visual effects. Even on a budget, a filmmaker should work within his or her means right? If you don't have the budget to show violence, than don't show it, there are plenty of films and shows out there that do a superb job of implied violence. Use your budget for lavish crime scene shots, not sub par shock scenes.
Attempting to throw in a slight coming of age tale as these kids learning and maturing (only in the films final moments) feels like an after thought, a lame attempt at character building and fishing for audience sympathy. I will admit this, I'm not a published writer, I'm not an established filmmaker, and I don't have any feature films under my belt, so perhaps most people would think I don't have any right to criticize or say what's wrong. I have however, seen good films, and I've seen plenty of good slasher flicks, and plenty of clever slasher flicks, and from a purely comparative standpoint, this one is just not good. For what it is trying to do, you can't gain sympathy from an audience when almost all your characters are genuinely unlikable and doing things that aren't important. If you're going to make a slasher like this, than slash away! Don't waste your first 40 minutes on developing characters that nobody (I mean NOBODY) is going to care about. You may argue that this is just a slow burn thriller, but seriously there's one plot point that sets the stage early on, and than it's nothing but seeing teens doing boorish teen things. They aren't saying anything clever, there's no witty banter or real chemistry, and the "sexual tension" and sexual scenes don't make this feel "edgy" if that's what the goal was. There's just nothing here, the deaths aren't creative, the violence isn't well done, the story is as shallow as the grave it's digging for all of its characters, and lame music video type scenes showing everyone being young and having fun don't do anything but prove that there wasn't enough real material to stretch this film into 90 minutes without filler.
Then we have the cast, all these same sounding actors and actresses that are so in love with the sounds of their own voices and the looks of their own disposable bodies look and sound like every other teenage stereotype out there. Even Anson Mount feels like he's phoning it in.
The "twist" is as generic as the rest. 18 years ago this film would have been original and the climax would have been stunning and brilliant, meaning that even when this film premiered it was 10 years too late to be anything but teen scream fluff.
Do yourself a favor go watch Scream for the 20th time instead of wasting your time with this one.
Tyler Martinez
8-19-2014
Mondo cane (1962)
Boring and hardly shocking...
I watched this today after having it on my NetFlix queue for a while, every once in a while I like the shocker flicks, and this one intrigued me... I was very disappointed... The opening was a little difficult to watch, and proved to be the most shocking to me. The rest of the film was hardly shocking at all, sure it had it's moments, the bull scene and the people bloodying up their legs for the Jesus run, but overall it was just a series of boring and highly forgettable stock footage clips accompanied by cheesy narration... The only thing "shocking" about this is that anyone would find it "shocking" to begin with... I guess I was just expecting a little too much.
Titan A.E. (2000)
The memories are all we have.
Outstanding on all fronts!... Well on most fronts.
This is the kind of movie you want to see on a BIG screen in HD, though it was made before HD was a common term let alone filmed or created for.
15 years after earth is destroyed by an alien race, humanities only hope comes in the form of a reckless young man and a small group of adventuring travelers. They must find a hidden man made ship, capable of creating a new earth, before hostile aliens can destroy it. The animation is fluid, the CG is solid, the visuals overall are just as impressive today as they were 8 years ago. The story itself isn't anything too amazing or original, but it's entertaining, and isn't that really what's important?
Matt Damon is Cale Tucker, standard issue hero. While the character isn't anything new, the voice work is great. Drew Barrymore is Akima, tough as nails heroine, once again a standard character carried by an above standard performance. Bill Pullman is Captain Joseph Korso, leader of this rag tag team. Once again, nothing new but a convincing performance none-the-less. Solid voice work all around, with notable performances from Janeane Garofalo and Nathan Lane.
One to Five Scale: 4 Aside from the cheesy and dated soundtrack, the film is entertaining from start to finish.
The Bridge (2006)
If watching people kill themselves is your thing, you might enjoy it.
After debating with myself on weather or not I wanted to see this I decided to put it in the DVD player. But after about 30 or 40 minutes it made me want to jump myself. It's depressing to see the jumpers, sure the families don't seem to have a problem with the documentation, but I found it profoundly disturbing. It boils down to what you think is ethical and what you think is art. Personally I think it's unethical to film people killing themselves and showing them to the world, you don't know what's going through their minds that final moment and just because it's in a public place doesn't mean you have the right to broadcast it world wide. And the fact that Eric Steel set out to make a film documenting suicide, to me, seems like a cry for attention in itself. Perhaps my biggest problem with this is that it in a way romanticizes the suicides in a way that shouldn't be done in a documentary. It's one thing if you invest your time into a scripted drama and you get to know the character and you love the character or understand what they're going through to get to the end and see them jump into a 4 second moment of glory and freedom. It's another thing to make it look as though everyone that jumps from the bridge or kills themselves is some kind of hero of their own lives... Surely a lot of jumpers don't see themselves as their own hero, rather than their worst enemy. And maybe thats why they jump.
People can argue with my opinion all they want, just as I can argue with them.
Like I said, it just depends on what you personally believe to be ethical and unethical... I think the romanticism of suicide in a documentary is tactless and disturbing.
Oldeuboi (2003)
Oldboy (2003)... Be it a rock or a grain of sand, in water they sink as the same.
WOW! I want to go on record of saying I saw this before it was remade and Americanized... There's a few things that MIGHT be considered spoilers in this review.
The Story: It's simple, a man is locked up in a private prison for fifteen years for no apparent reason, when he is released he only has five days to find out why he was locked away for so long. It's stylish and atmospheric, not to mention extremely well written and full of twists and turns. It's gritty feel will immerse you in the world of sex and violence even though it seems unsettling and disturbing at times, you can't help but feel compelled to continue watching. On that note, I can't stress the violence enough, this is NOT for the squeamish, I'm not giving anything away when I say this, but there's a three minute fight sequence where our hero has a knife in his back for two. And there's a decent amount of sex, whether or not the graphic nature of the sex scenes were necessary is up to the viewer... Okay, so I've read a lot of bad things about this, it's plot holes, it's "stupidity", it's blah, blah, blah... And for all of those people, TAKE A F***ING BREATH! This is based on a Manga Comic book! Since when do comic books have to make sense? If any of the people down on this film are fans of Spiderman, Superman, or even Batman or any other comic book hero than they're hypocrites! "Oh, it's so unrealistic!" "Oh, it's got a plot hole here and there!" "Oh, that couldn't happen!"... Good God people! Do you even know the source material of this film? The Cast: Min-sik Choi, Ji-tae Yu, Hye-jeong Kang... I watched this with an English dub because I don't speak Korean, so I don't really know how well they acted verbally. I do know however that they all acted extremely well physically. Min-sik Choi is Dae-su Oh, the man imprisoned for fifteen years, desperate to find all the answers and seeking revenge for his time spent locked away. He gives a great performance as he looks like he's been to hell and back, his weathered and worn face shows more pain and sadness than any words could ever describe. Hye-jeong Kang is Mi-do, a young girl bent on helping Dae-su Oh she doesn't give the best performance here, but she still does a great job. Ji-tae Yu is Woo-jin Lee, the villain. Sometimes he looks the part of the bad-ass, but sometimes, he doesn't look the part of the bad-ass. But no matter how he looks, you know he's force to be reckoned with. Like I said I watched this with English voice work, and there's something to be said about English talent, and that is, it's above and beyond the call of duty. The voice work is top notch and Oscar Caliber, yeah, it's that good.
One to Five Scale: 5
My highest recommendations go out for this film. It's truly one of a kind, a great noir-ish mystery through and through. If you're a fan of the genre this is a must see! Go out and rent it, buy it, do whatever it takes to see it! Okay... Now for some ranting and raving...
I found out that this film has an announced American remake due out in 2008... It's been said that it's possibly going to be shelved, and for that, all I can say is that I hope it's shelved because it doesn't live up to the original. I hope this isn't going to be the product of American fame and failure like other insanely poorly translated thrillers like the Grudge.
A History of Violence (2005)
A History of Violence (2005)... Sometimes it's better to not look back.
It's good ole' fashioned film noir. What more do you want? The Story: A mans violent past catches up to him when he becomes a minor celebrity after killing two men in self defense. It's simple and straight forward and that's almost it's biggest downfall. The cinematography is good, the angles nice, and all, but it's not the stylish neo-noir thriller that I was led to believe it was. So, I guess to say the least, it could have looked better, but still looked nice. The story is something great, and has a few plot twists here and there, but it moves at a somewhat slow pace, it takes about twenty minutes for anything incredibly exciting to happen, and then it becomes repetitious, drama, violence, drama, violence. The action scenes were great and scarily realistic from the visuals right down to the audio, but the action was missing something, it didn't have the cinematic edge that you would expect. Some somewhat pointless sex here and there, but seeing as how it's based on a graphic novel, that's to be expected. It's a good film but it's better if you're not expecting the next Cape Fear. Plus, where's the great character development? It's lacking in that department, you get a general idea of his wife, and you get a little bit more detail on his son, but these characters could have been explored so much better... Also, beware, I'm not spoiling anything, but there seems to be a lot of people that don't like the ending. Personally I thought the ending fit the film rather well, but I get the feeling that I'm a minority in thinking that.
The Cast: Viggo Mortensen, Maria Bello, Ed Harris, William Hurt, Ashton Holmes... Viggo Mortensen is Tom Stall, a man just trying to live in peace with his family. His acting is top notch and performance stands out from the rest. You'll feel a good connection between him and you, not sure if you should love him or hate him. Chances are though you're not going to hate him. Maria Bello is Edie Stall, she's Tom's wife. As the film progresses you get a little bit of an idea of what kind of person she is, and who she is, but not enough to make you really feel a lot for her. Ashton Holmes is Jack Stall, the son. Again you don't get much information about him, but you get more about him than you do Edie. To perfectly honest, I thought his acting was terrible. Not good, he had a few moments, but a lot of the time I felt like he was just reciting empty words. Luckily you don't deal with him a lot. Ed Harris is Carl Fogarty, one of the main villains of the film. He'll give you a great unsettling feeling, but this for some reason doesn't stand out as one of his most powerful performances. Don't get me wrong, he's great and perfectly cast, it's just not his best role. William Hurt is Richie Cusack, the big villain, the mob boss. It's a good performance, but he's not quite as demanding or intimidating as one would expect. I can see why he was nominated for "Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role" but at the same time I can't help but think someone else should have had his spot in the nominations. He was just lacking something, he came off as kind of a clichéd villain. Hit or miss.
One to Five Scale: 3 Maybe it's because I had my hopes up, or maybe it's because there was a lot going on when I watched it... A second viewing might change things, but upon first viewing this one was unfortunately a three. It's a great film if you know what to expect. If you sit down expecting the next Cape Fear you'll be sorely disappointed, but if you sit down looking for a drama with a side of intense violence than you'll be in for a great experience. This makes for a great rental and possible purchase... And I say that knowing what I'm talking about, as I went out and bought a copy... Seriously, rent first, buy later.
Tyler uninspired_2002@hotmail.com http://spaces.msn.com/stoppedby7/
Strangeland (1998)
If you sew your eyes shut you don't have to watch this...
Wow...This movie really really sucks...'Nuff said.
The Story: A psychopathic internet predator stalks and lures young men and women into torturous traps...It goes like this, kidnaps people, they find him, he becomes a changed man and is released on the world yet again, reverts back to his old ways and starts the torture again....The story is stupid, it's implausible. The characters are stupid, they're implausible...Or at the very least way over the top. It's got some very violent imagery, and if you have a week stomach you might just want to stay away...But than again, even if you don't have a week stomach, you might want to stay away...It's that stupid.
The Cast: Dee Snider, Kevin Gage...If you're a die hard fan of Twisted Sister and Dee Snider, you might find this one interesting, since he's the writer and star of this film. His acting is laughably bad, and you can tell that he's the one that wrote the God-awful script. Kevin Gage...Well they say he's been in numerous other movies that I've seen, but I don't remember him from any of them...And you won't remember him from this...These two sadly, make the film...They don't make it good mind you...They just make it...
One to Five Scale: 1 It's bad...It's very very very bad...In fact it's so bad, that this movie should come with a clip loading pistol to play Russian Rullet with...