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smcmullin2001
It's too long and you wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Reviews
Hellraiser: Inferno (2000)
Grim and not in a good way.
This isn't an awful movie, per se, it's just really, really grim. Everything that happens does so without the merest hint of humour and is just that little bit more grotesque than it should be.
While horror movies should be gruesome and all that, they should also bear in mind that they are movies, which means they are essentially entertainment and should therefore be entertaining. Alas, there's not enough Pinhead action (although he does get one great line. When the detective says, "God Almighty!" Pinhead responds with, "Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?" Touche, PH, tis true that you don't...) and there are no boobs. What's up with that?
Without ruining the 'climax' of the movie, I will say that if you watch this you will have a great deal of sympathy for the main character when he receives his eternal fate...
Unleashed (2005)
It is a silly film
It really is.
For all it's trying to be poignant and deep and so on, Unleashed really has very little going for it apart from Bob Hoskins' nasty-bastard (waaaaay over the top, but in a good way) and Jet Li's amazing fight sequences.
Morgan Freeman plays the character of Morgan Freeman ("Sheeit, I got an Oscar for it once, I can do it again.") with aplomb, while the girl... They really make some amazing leaps of faith throughout the movie and take to this stunningly violent young man with an ease that borders on naive. No, it IS naive in the extreme.
At no point does anyone say of Jet, "What if he's a crazy psycho-killer?" Presumably because the answer to this would be, "He is," and there would be no room for human drama as Morgan and the girl did their best to escape from this crazy feral-man.
So, Jet is planning to retire from martial arts flicks, he says? Well, to mis-quote the Beatles, "He may be a fighter, but he ain't no actor."
Silly, makes no sense and not terribly good, but great fun.
Mirrormask (2005)
Well...
It's quite the spectacular, this film.
I read the graphic novel-esquire tie-in before seeing the movie itself so I actually knew what happened at the end and everything. However, I wasn't just sitting there going, "Oh, I know what happens now. It's the bit where the...blahblahblah." No.
It's amazing to see the whole thing up on he screen. All the time there's stuff happening. Stuff floating by, appearing, disappearing, reappearing, capitalising, capitulating, perambulating... Ahem.
The story itself is not new, it's the classic Alice in Wonderland, Wizard of Oz, person gets whisked away into a magical world, and all that a tale which Gaiman is very at home with and never ceases twiddling about with. So, while the basic premise may be nothing new, it's the way he tells it that keeps you enthralled.
The Very Useful Book is a nice touch.
Dave McKean he make with the cool pictures. Go Dave, go!
Boy Eats Girl (2005)
Ah, sure y'know yourself...
It was inevitable that we weren't going to like this Gaelicised take on the zombie movie. You just can't take Irish people being pursued by the living dead seriously.
There's some pretty poor acting in here and the whole situation pushes suspension of disbelief a little too far.
There are a couple of good moments, but anyone could throw a couple of decent jolts into such a genre film it lends itself to them...
I can't understand how anyone can bugger up such a simple format. They're zombies, the script writes itself... Alas, there was no respect here. No understanding of what to do with them.
Poo.