NukeHollywood Reviews

Poker Face (2023– )

Natasha Lyonne Yay!!! Guest stars boo ....

[7/10 · 8 July 2023]

Cons first: Mostly awful guest stars including Chloe Sevigny.

They only show yet again, the poor quality of actors in the last two to three decades.

Hong Chau, Megan Suri and Colton Ryan, all lame extra material, managing to drag down what could otherwise have been a great second episode. This is what happens when you get people who belong in teen comedies into a tv show.

Lil Rel Howery, Danielle Macdonald in The Stall, so-so or irritating.

Cherry Jones in The Orpheus Syndrome, tedious.

The ho-hum, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, in the otherwise great Sht Mountain.

Judith Light and S. Epatha Merkerson were fairly good in Time of the Monkey. But the acting does not make for repeat viewings.

Benjamin Bratt is adequate as man who pursues Lyonne; Adrien Brody is unremarkable. I think they just need to have villians that look a bit weird but do not much in terms of acting.

The good ones were Ellen Barkin and Tim Meadows in Exit Stage Death; Simon Helberg as FBI agent and Nick Nolte.

I think Nick Nolte and Lyonne would make a great master and assistant team for a new series.

And Natasha Lyonne finally gets a show that is worthy of her talent. Russian Doll wasn't it, and Orange-Black was a prison soap opera for a lame audience.

I'm pleasantly surprised that Rian Johnson, the architect of geek fests like Knives Out and a Star Wars sequel (showcasing noobs like Adam Driver, Daisy Ridley and John Boyega) didn't completely ruin this thing but he nearly did.

But the four best episodes in my book were directed by Lucky McKee, Ben Sinclair, Natasha Lyonne herself and just one by Rian Johnson. None of those were written by him.

Natasha Lyonne gets to shine bringing her old school charm with none of the horrible attempts at real acting that you get from the others here. Even the villians need to have screen presence and charm. See Patrick McGoohan in Columbo episodes. Do you see Cherry Jones having a third of that talent? Absolutely not.

Therefore, CASTING NEEDS MAJOR MAJOR improvement with hopefully no involvement by Rian. Less of the Amy Adams, Tina Fey Vice-Vox crowd.

You need more Nick Nolte like quality. For example, get John Turturro. Ewan McGregor, Pierce Brosnan. Marisa Tomei. Alan Arkin. Oscar Isaac.

Dune (2021)

Period Drama that pretends to be Sci-Fi

[1/10 · 1 May 2022]

This criticism has been made of Sci-fi literature in general, that it focuses too much on empires and kings and slaves in some "futuristic" setting.

It's more or less what I feel about this. I think it might appeal to Lord of the Rings fans or people who like period piece historical drama rubbish.

If royalty watching is your passion with a customary 21st century movie grey backdrop this is for you. Enjoy.

Breakdown (I) (1997)

I'm laughing. One of the most preposterous movies ever.

[3/10 · 17 May 2020]

Even more than those 70s exploitation films.

Everything that can go wrong does. And a car being rammed by three vehicles on all sides after the dramatic escape?

And the ending ... I was laughing at this unneccesarily over the top scene. Horrible Lockdown period recommendation by The Guardian.

Gemma Bovery (2014)

It's another French film

[1/10 · 22 January 2020]

Beautiful people, glorification of adultery, baking, baguettes and food, a few humping scenes, and artsy fartsy nothingness come together. You've seen this hundred's of times.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

The Rise of Rocky Balboa

[4/10 · 20 December 2019]

Yep it's true Rocky is back for another bout in the ring ... oh excuse me, I meant to say Elvis Presley. Yes, Elvis did die in 1977 but they can bring anyone back. They can keep this series going indefinitely, and I await Episode X, a decade from now where Elvis or Anakin or Rocky will fight the Sith somewhere in Afghanistan till they almost perish in the 'end'.

The introduction of Palpatine into the story in the very last film is desparate, tedious etc. Same as Han Solo's treatment in the very first sequel. They have no story, no inspiration, no vision. They don't care, they need a product. Purpose if any comes later, and it never did.

It doesn't have the grandeur of the six Star Wars films, visually the sequels are dull, dark and grungy like most movies of the present.

At the end of three movies I am still emotionally unconnected to Rey, Finn and Poe. They look and feel like no name people. Some say the sequels are more emotional than the previous six. I don't know, there's been an emphasis, of loving your enemies ... but then Luke did that too. They just expanded on that. I liked Last Jedi but cannot remember how much in comparison to this one. Force Awakens: rubbish. I think the prequels were mostly the best, visually, acting wise and story.

Someone else said that this was a movie by committee, which is true, but then went on to complain that he felt persecuted as if the makers were calling him a Russian, misogynist racist dinosaur. No, not at all. Things need to move on in terms of social equality and there's no need to get defensive about something approaching equal screen time for all of us. The 'activism' was light compared to other films.

I say these movies did not need to exist. This was the story of Anakin Skywalker who brought balance to the force.

We are all wasting time and energy watching this stuff as OUR lives slowly ebb away in a dark theatre. Now that's the dark side of the force.

Doctor Sleep (2019)

Why? Millennials can't make modern classics, they just can't

[5/10 · 29 November 2019]

This director, forgot his name, was never going to come anywhere to Stanley Kubrick's standard. And the Dr. Sleep novel was itself not such a great tale but it could have been made into a far better film than this.

Even minor Stephen King films like Sleepwalkers or Maximum Overdrive had more genuine appeal than this. Film making has suffered even compared to the drab 90s. It's better than the IT remake though!

I did like some of the cinematography, the best point of the film. But the story and acting are not worth repeat watches. It's laughable to think this is a worthy sequel to The Shining.

Ford v Ferrari (2019)

Cliches and dumb fun for the rubes

[3/10 · 29 November 2019]

I've never taken Christian Bale for a great actor. His appeal is for people who enjoy some kind of technical perfection and fake authenticity over substance. His performance should keep rubes occupied, thinking they have witnessed something genuine, an example of what acting is supposed to be.

Moving on to the story. Naturally, much of this didn't happen. The pitting of big corporatist Ford Motors against Miles the humble car racer was all made up and I guessed it while watching the film - they just put these cliches in knowing that millions of not so bright members of the public will never get tired how many thousands of times they have experienced these tropes. Anything to get people punching their fists in the air and rooting for their hero. Read the facts of the Miles story if you care at all.

The only real recommendable parts of the film and the reason I bothered seeing it, were the racing scenes which are thrilling. The rest, acting, plot are still somewhere on the starting line.

High Seas (2019–2020)

Visual delight! And Art Deco!

[9/10 · 31 May 2019]

I don't know how they achieved the look but they have these wonderful glowing colours through the show, sometimes blurring slightly which also adds to the effect. Nice dark shadows too.

The influence of Art Deco is there in the ship set designs and maybe the clothes too, all of which are stunning.

And the story and acting: I must say I don't find it off-putting like I do nearly 95% of the British-American-Canadian-French-Indian and other productions. Basically, I cannot watch hardly anything that comes off Netflix or Hollywood today. Maybe this Spanish series is getting something right.

I'm into the third episode, so unlike what someone said, the first is not the only good one, imo anyway. So while, the plot etc. Is nothing radical it's far from the worst Netflix series, and far far ahead of the others. It's not reliant on realism, randomly shot, quick shaky camera, Euro Cannes style film making which irritates with its total pretension.

In short, beautiful, easy to watch, while not really insulting your intelligence or emotions.

I only saw Season 1 and that was enough. I wasn't watching for the twists which actually put me off. It's not like I want to keep watching a series till the end of time.

Hans Zimmer Live in Prague (2017 TV Special)

A truly lame 'composer'

[2/10 · 21 May 2019]

His themes apparently appeal to the easily entertained person who likes simple bombast and sentimentality. A whole bunch of musicians on stage looking like they're really doing something special and Zimmer sitting there with a fake wondrous look on his face.

There are so many artists on youtube who release better music each week, and then you come across older composers like Stelvio Cipriani who blow the pants off Zimmer.

Zimmer makes Enya sound really exciting and Trans Siberian Orchestra is miles ahead of this. This man is absolutely unworthy of the respect he gets and anyone comparing him to the Backstreet Boys let alone Mozart needs to be dealt with.

Snowpiercer (2013)

Dystopian nonsense. Not even worth a review.

[2/10 · 17 May 2019]

I agree with just about every negative review here about everything from plot holes, to cliches, all of it true.

I also add: this love of dystopian stories in sci-fi, drama etc. itself is the problem. Some people find their joy in making these, reading such fiction and watching this garbage. Their own inner hatred and gloom finds these channels and it is not limited to fiction and movies. They perpetuate and create this ugliness where they go.

The Indian Detective (2017)

Very Predictable But Not THAT Bad (and a rant about stereotypes)

[4/10 · 10 May 2019]

Every trope you can imagine in a comedy/police story is here. It's painful but the acting from Anupam Kher, Russel Peters and the Indian cop does make a difference. William Shatner is only seen for about three minutes each episode.

There is indeed something very suspicious about fakes because I have counted more than five on one page alone. Not nice to see.

Coming to stereotypes. Of course there were going to be some about India and Mumbai. I can't remember seeing a single North American or British production which did not have them. I can't give this a one star based on that alone. But the stereotypes don't stop there, everything about this is Mega Cheap. The acting, the plot. But let me ask, why do people put up with this nonsense anywhere?

Hollywood and Bollywood produces nothing but this sort of cheap gimmicky rubbish regardless of the story and setting. Police story, historical event, romance or sci-fi there will be the same annoying tropes. But those get millions of viewers and are big hits. Why do people support such mindless garbage?

I'm giving this a Four. It's closer to a three but I appreciate some of the acting and the setting in Canada and India is a slight novelty. I MUCH prefer this to rubbish like Game of Thrones, Outlander and the hundred plus comedy, drama and romance videos doing the rounds.

Danger Mouse (2015–2019)

Greenback's most villianous scheme

[1/10 · 6 May 2019]

... to rid the world of the most essential qualities of Danger Mouse, the world's greatest British cartoon series has triumphed.

In 2015 he successfully sent in American clones of DM, Penfold, Colonel K, as well as himself and the entire production team.

The new producer is Count Duckula. Terrorizing the public with a video game style animation, fast millennial speech, American stereotypes of how Brits talk and the most witless gags ever associated with one of the wittiest British tv shows of all time, Duckula has gotten what he always wanted, his own tv show.

DM and Penfold are long dead by now and turning in their graves as this extroverted, loud and unfunny mess plays on tv's everywhere.

Take a deep sigh and recall fondly how you used to go tee hee hee with the original Danger Mouse.

The Lovely Bones (2009)

Potentionally great film brought down by cutesyness and racism

[5/10 · 4 May 2019]

I like Peter Jackson's style of film making and the astral realm scenes were ... out of this world. That's part of what really made the film.

Actors ... were not annoying, and that I consider a credit in this day.

They did go overboard with the eternally smiling Susie Salmon, and the romance rubbish. Jackson found a way to even extend the movie for awhile after it needed to end. He manages to do LOTR style multiple endings here too.

The worst thing here was the over the top racist presentation of the 30 something woman as a teenage girl in pigtails ... as a naive sidekick to Susie. Her whole presence and dialogues come from the mind of an idiotic racist who can only see Asian women as subservient furniture in the lives of white women. Her lines were truly dumb and insulting.

You can blame Peter Jackson for this as director and one of the screenplay writers. He continues his record of having not a single non-white person in LOTR but managing stereotypes when he does have them. He probably never got out of New Zealand much.

78/52 (2017)

Boring commentary from incompetents.

[1/10 · 4 May 2019]

A few minutes in you hear this bit of awful cliched praise:

'Before Psycho movies were ... relatively disposable.'

Most movies before 1960? How interesting.

The same kind of rubbish that is said about ... just any director/film that is under study. Before this there was nothing! Who are these people and why are they wasting everyone's time with this dull documentary?

15 minutes is enough.

The Jews (2016)

Funny, intelligent with many entertaining actors.

[8/10 · 30 April 2019]

I thought this was intelligently made for a comedy, most of them today being full of many cliches and over acting for easy laughs.

I don't see many French/Euro comedies but for comparison I liked this more than Look Who's Back, the German film about Hitler. The acting and directing are not as obvious as that film.

Most of the cast, between 7-10 of them, put on a good performance. They also manage to avoid the Annoyance Factor with movies about 'us minorities' and how everyone misjudges us. This is clever in that regard because most film makers do that terribly and attract the ire of a mainly right wing crowd who wince at the political correctness.

Yvan Attal must be commended because this isn't PC; it goes into the depths of irrational thinking about 'background' without hitting people over the head with the anti-semetism diatribe. But it is primarily quite a hilarious movie.

I Am Not an Easy Man (2018)

Simpletons rejoice!

[2/10 · 22 April 2019]

Take the cliches about some men in society, and turn that into an fixed set of beliefs about a whole gender, then show it in a movie for an hour plus.

Show women behaving the same way to drive the point home (and some simpletons will be happy because they actually have NOT thought about these disadvantages women face).

Anyone who is above average intelligence will be annoyed at this cliche ridden film with its gender bigotry against the 'stronger' sex.

Derry Girls (2018–2022)

Irish or copy of cheap American sitcoms?

[1/10 · 20 April 2019]

Awful. Strictly for brain dead binge watching dolts.

Trotsky (2017)

Oh well back to the Solzhenitsyn

[2/10 · 8 April 2019]

I began watching hoping to learn something about what Trotsky was all about, not that I expected great historical accuracy.

But the cheap dialogue and gratuitous sex three minutes in told me what kind of sub-standard thrill flick awaited. I also skimmed through other scenes to check.

Suggestion: Avoid.

Russian Doll (2019–2022)

Natasha Lyonne makes this interesting

[6/10 · 7 April 2019]

She is entertaining as always, if you like the schtick, and the male co-lead is all right. Nothing special or radically different about the plot. Most Netflix choices, Originals and otherwise are really awful so this was slightly welcome.

I echo those talking about the vapid New York Americans on display here. That is a huge turn off, and Lyonne can be that sort of brat too, only her charm makes up for it.

Outlander (2014– )

More porn for women, housewives and faux feminists.

[1/10 · 7 April 2019]

Your mind and life go to waste trying to watch this.

The Shape of Water (2017)

World and movie audience gets (even) dumber

[2/10 · 3 March 2018]

The trailers didn't make it clear this was going to be such a romance film. I was wary about the 'magical realism' which these directors do terribly but still decided to give it a chance.

Given the sadly increasing numbers of people with poor standards, they make these movies with its simplified, preachy politics which appeals to these simpletons.

It's making these already dumb people even dumber. Hollywood needs to straight up wiped off the face of this planet.