gothicgoblin1334 Reviews

The Hunger (1983)

Gothic cinema among the greatest

[10/10 · 16 April 2007]

Let me start out this review by saying this: I am a goth. And I must say that after recommended to watch this film I immediately got it, seeing as how influential it is toward the subculture. Of course, it has a plot, a story, and great acting. The best of all, was seeing Gothic rock legends Bauhaus perform in the opening sequence "Bela Lugosi's Dead"-a very brilliant shot of Peter Murphy himself. David Bowie and Susan Sarandon are great as usual-not ever lacking acting abilities. so i'd have to say i recommend this film to anyone, though in specific subcultures such as goth, punk, fetish, or anyone who loves a good horror film.

Jennifer's Shadow (2004)

A gem toward modern Gothic

[10/10 · 21 March 2007]

Now, look not at the fact this film has not many ratings, look more towards the film in general. In my opinion, The Chronicle of The Raven is a Gothic masterpiece (as a goth I greatly appreciate this). The story, is indeed originally and quite Poe-esquire. For the plot revolves around a woman, in a grim and beautiful section of Argentina, just moved into her grandmother's mysterious old mansion. Facing surrealistic settings and dreams, each night she is tortured by a ravenous raven that devours parts of her body. Indeed a gruesome and unlikely tale for a film generation perhaps in the dusk. I strongly recommend it, also the originality of the filmmakers with such a plot. The acting is stubble yet in this case, like a play and performed melodramatically. The cinematography and use of lighting is low, a dark stark colour surrounds the film-this is one of the greatest things of the Chronicle of the Raven. Anyway, look for this film wherever you can find it, you'll indeed be impressed.

The Crow (1994)

A beautiful, marvellous and poetic adaption of the comic with the same skills

[10/10 · 4 January 2007]

Brandon Lee, a triumph of an actor, earned his stardom from his film...and his life. I recently bought this film, knowing it appealed to many Gothic cultures and thought of this as something I may enjoy-and it was worth every penny. I enjoy perhaps every moment of this film, and it remains one of my favourites. The symbolic scene of The Crow's arrival from the grave shall remain in my head for years to come. How could I explain this film? How could I project such a legendary plot, I'll never know. The only thing I can honestly say is to see this film. Watch it just more than once and have it stay in your mind forever. Goth bless James 'O Barr for bringing us in the first place a story like this-an expanded poem in the format of a film. A horror-like film with Goth potential, anyone can enjoy ''The Crow''.

My Nightmare (1993)

Ironic and humorous

[10/10 · 30 December 2006]

Richard Kern shows us once again why he is the best Goth in cinema. This film, "my nightmare" revolves around the sexual perversion of a photographer. Who masturbates while imagining a rough sexual intercourse with his model. It at first may seem like simple pornography until it becomes sadistic and disturbing. Eeerier the music becomes and more violent the illusion disintegrates. The film ends with the actual model coming into his home, not in the dream, and he attempts to have sexual intercourse with her. Yet once he tries, he is slapped and rejected. Truly I recommend this film because of its great cinematography, ironic and dark concepts as well as disturbing images.

Puce Moment (1949)

A surreal portrait of a woman longing

[10/10 · 28 December 2006]

Anger. She looks through the wardrobe, not knowing what fits her style. The surreal orchestra plays as she finds the one that is the

best without a doubt-the black dress. It is beautiful and sparkling.

She places it on herself and walks around. Once she has had enough she

rests-awaking next morning to find herself in a distraught position outside. The dogs are lined up, she takes them for a walk-leaving her southern Californian house in mourning.

This is indeed one of Anger's best. It depicts his childhood fascinations with movie-stars and bizarre situations.

I recommend this film to every fan of avant garde or follower of a subculture/art.

The Road (1954)

Beautiful

[10/10 · 26 December 2006]

Though 8 1/2 is generally regarded as his masterpiece, Fellini's La Strada is truly a remarkable and surreal, neo-romantic masterpiece in its own unique way. The potential of the film is hard to articulate at first look-for their is no introduction to what the characters world. In a way, it is a surreal. In another way, it is romantic. But overall it collides with every element and boundary to this category. The cinematography, the acting, the direction and scripted material is executed well.

Thiscould only come from the darkest chambers of Fellini's soul-and the most beautiful. I recommend it without a doubt.

Rabbit's Moon (1950)

Beautiful

[10/10 · 21 December 2006]

This is perhaps one of Anger's most legendary and yet surpassed unnoticed films. In this, he explores the dark worlds of fantasy and mime as well as the Japanease traditional theatre. The plot, though hard to explain, is better externalised on film then it would be written (unless in the deep, dark dwells of a poet's soul) much less explained. Although in this particular film we see shown, not a depiction, but a symbolism for a magician at his work. This MAGICIAN is a Pee-Wee mime-esquire figure who cannot quite understand his own magical and dark abilities. He seeks the rabbit on the moon, from the Japanease myth. He cannot get the rabbit off the moon, this leaves him in mourning. A lantern appears, given as a gift from the fencer. Appears from the Lantern a land (though small) of fantasy. The princess is seen there. They dance, except for the mime person, who goes deeper into the woods-only to be thrown back into the dwells of it, dead.

Fireworks (1947)

A success

[10/10 · 18 December 2006]

In Kenneth Anger's first masterpiece, "Fireworks" chronicles the senseless irony of homosexuality and violence as well as the longing for love. Here we see depicted as the plot even calls, "the very rape and torture of Anger himself", and Anger here being metaphor to describe all feelings related to love-leading to anger. For some, it would be considered 'wrong' or 'stupdi' but to others who understand the masterpiece clearly understand the beauty of underground cinema. This is one of these films to prove how brilliant avant-garde Anger truly is. In two thousand years, people will find this film, appreciate, love it, and embrace the darkness of one man (and legacy's) soul for many years to come.

Vampyros Lesbos (1971)

Not sure how to articulate the critique

[18 December 2006]

Jesus Franco, perhaps one of the most perverted men in cinema, wrote and directed this film of imagery. Apparently he felt that to express his artistic pleasures in this way would be a fine experience for him-but not for those who have a strong critique for films. This is not recommended for normal moviegoers (but what is normal, anyway?) nor is it for fans of traditional Vampires, such as myself. To say the most as an artistic Goth, this film had its moments despite have many flaws. For example, the beginning and end of the film involves a woman undressing a statue slowly in porn-esquire manner (actually, the entire film is porn-esquire) resulting in only pleasure for ejaculation. Jesus Franco, I have to say in MY opinion, is one of the worst Spanish directors. He is a mockery to erotic horror and much less horror. The optimistic side of this film had to be its frightening moments, such as when the investigator evaluates the vampress to stop her-yet she disappears. There was a horror tone, but not a good enough mood. It'd be better off being labelled as 'erotic fantasy' then it would be horror. To end this article, I have reached my own critique for this film overall-which must be: don't watch this.

Bad Guy (2001)

An original plot

[9/10 · 18 December 2006]

With a suspenseful mood and tone of the film-Bad Guy shows us how brilliant Korean thrillers can be. At first, seeing that this film is on Sundance's ASIA EXTREME-I could've sworn it would be horror rather than a disturbing drama. I was wrong yet now glad that I did not turn down watching this film. Now to get to the plot: A very young woman is desperate for money, trying to recover from the aftermath of a random harassment by a stranger (known here as the 'bad guy') she is forced into prostitution by him mysteriously and watches, without being seen, her life face horrible changes. Throughout the film, all members of the audience despise this 'bad guy'-however, nearing the end of the film be is given a "I'm not that BAD of a GUY once you get to know me" feels. The quote is cliché yet expressed in an original manner, representing many of the director's prolific talents.

Pink Flamingos (1972)

A unique work of art

[10/10 · 18 December 2006]

Among his old films, John Waters-hailed as the "Pope of Trash" makes his breakthrough in film with a little, family-oriented film about a woman and her love for flamingos...well, not exactly. Because Pink Flamingos is not a film that is that of intelligence, the moral of the film is a joke with trashy structures that put them together. However, these 'trashy' structures would not be bad taste, but good bad taste. In the field of art this is not considered offensives-therefore, it has no harm to me. I was surprised actually to see that it wasn't as explicit enough as I expected it to be, though I still enjoyed the film throughout. A John Waters classic. The only con is that The Marbles had to be killed in such stylish outfits!

The Faculty (1998)

Everything was good, except for additional scenes and the ending

[5/10 · 2 December 2006]

I really liked the first half of the movie, original and complex at the same time. Yet once it reached to the scene when they are in the gym, everything went wrong. The film's plot revolves around kids trying to find out if their teachers are aliens so they can kill them and save the earth from learning, every child's fantasy. Clea Duvall is a dark woman, in person and in cinema-her character was a very positive role to me, so beautiful she was with her style, her knowledge, and yet how some aspects of her left me seeing that Kevin Williamson only wrote that part in the ending to anger Goths like myself off. I would have to say that there is a scene with Laura Harris explaining how she's tired of being 'something she's not.' The camera focuses on Stokely, and I just cannot f****** believe how they depicted us. In such a mainstream society, they should be more LIBERAL and understanding of how alternative lifestyles work. We should be treated with respect and not horrible like they did in this film (though for the first half, she is given a positive appearance to the culture as she is clever, smart and witty) which leaves me still in mourning. However, everything else was fine.

From Justin to Kelly (2003)

A perfect example of how horrible and unrealistic American pop culture is

[1/10 · 29 November 2006]

Gee, didn't we all think that American Idol fag Justin was gay? And didn't we think that poser hag Kelly Clarkson was a poser? Both are true, but apparently in this film, reality is like Santa Claus: it doesn't exist. To begin with, I would like to state that American cinema and continually showing films like these will eventually destroy cinema. Cinema is supposed to value and accept death, pain, and exploitation-BUT BULL CRAP like this does not. All it does is tell a stupid love story for the sake one's investment career. I would also like to say that American Idol is crap and no one should really care about it, it turns young people with talent into changed snobby posers who have an anti-different, social attitude none-other than Ryan Seacrest. The writing in this film is horribly unrealistic and atrocious, so terrible it made me vomit. By the time it reached the directing and acting (the directing was actually invisible compared to the acting) I was defecating through my own eyes. This film also caused me to urinate acid. Please do not watch it, if you want to live.

Wild at Heart (1990)

A Lynchian Journey

[10/10 · 23 November 2006]

Of all his films, master of abstract and absurd-ism David Lynch's "Wild at Heart," happens to be one of his finest. Next to Eraserhead and Blue Velvet there's this very darkly humorous and charming film to which chronicles the love-filled lives of Sailor and his lover Lula, a hot-blooded rebel girl. The story is magnificent as is the direction and acting; a surrealists' films always give the actor's such a natural tone. In this film, you'll find craziness, violence, sorrow, separation, Isabella Rosselini in a wig, Laura Dern's breasts, and a 'good' witch. A satirical post-modernised version of "The Wizard of Oz," make sure when you watch this wearing clean underwear.

School for Scoundrels (2006)

A film for idiots

[4/10 · 22 November 2006]

I went to see this film because quite frankly I just enjoy seeing the pictures, as we used to call it. I went to see it with my friend and film producer and he definitely had a good laugh about it. Well, I wouldn't say for sure that I recommended this film because as I'm concerned it is way too typical for a person with intellect. Comedy films really suck, especially with their "breifly romantic" moods and "new and improved" cinematography. If you're looking for a break and want to go with Flemming's words that people only watch movies to relax, then check out this movie for it is filled with outrageous comedic twists, stupid comedy, and a man accidentally getting his nuts zapped. BUT if you want a darker and much more complex film that reflects on reality and makes you actually think, then pass on School for Scoundrels.

Beetlejuice (1988)

The rise and fall of Michael Keaten

[8/10 · 22 November 2006]

Hello moviegoers! I must give the master of macabre, Tim Burton, for developing his style in cinema of humorous and yet creepily Gothic and adult orientated fairy tales. To me I consider it to be his second "real" film (Vincent being the first, Pee Wee's for kicks) in which he has a trio of actors, writers, and producers. At the time this idea was hatched Larry Wilson (originally to write Roman Dirge's "Lenore") with the basic half-a'd plot and Michael McDowell (suprisingly no relation to Malcolm) with the screenplay, looking for the right visionary to direct it. Of course, this was before Tim Burton re-invented Beetle Juice and perhaps even re-creating or resurrecting him. They tried Wes Craven, who at the time was in the process of writing (but not directing) another crappy Nightmare on elm street sequel, so he was out of the picture there. Though even if Wes Craven had done the film there would be bleakness and not fun like Burton made it (however, I would have liked to see this film have a solid R rating including violence, language and sexuality) creative differences also struck and Burton was given the idea. Reading the script it perhaps possessed him to take it. Thus, his brilliance came through and made Beetle Juice look a bit less oh, I don't know, "sheety". The plot (taken from IMDb):

This is the story of Adam and Barbara who live in a beautiful house in New England. One day while driving home they are involved in a terrible auto accident. They manage to walk home only to discover later that they have died and now haunt their house. When their house is purchased by an out of state family, they feel their home is threatened by the over-the-top artists wife and real-estate idea-man husband. Their only relief is the Gothic daughter of the family. Their attempts at scaring the family out of the house are ignored or laughed at. Finally they fall to the temptation to use the people-exorcist Beetle Juice. When they find his tactics too dangerous, they attempt to contain him and save the family they were trying to boot.

It cannot be explained truly well but that is what it is, the storyline is good and eccentric and the script may as well be the same. The direction looks, well, 'darkly colourful' and intriguing.

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Let's skip to the actual review, shall we? Well the plot is great but the screenplay is seemingly half-written with no beginning and no ending, just bits and pieces between that make a film. It's dark, fun, but I'd like to discuss the ending. The ending, which involves the family (of ghosts) with Winona Ryder, who seems to be "happy" and dramatically changed. Though it's not dramatic, but crappy and just there to anger certain people such as myself off, however, Burton did mention that that wasn't the intention. Beetle Juice also has his head shrunken once he's in the IRS-like waiting room in the land of the dead (which, I'd like to mention, the underworld resembling an IRS office was quite brilliant) and there happens to be a half-naked cannibal sitting next to him. Then the 'perfect' family are possessed by music and have to sing calypso. I know, it sounds f***** up but I'm not kidding. The ending is one of the worst in cinematic history and if there is EVER an alternate ending I'd buy it faster then it would take me to get to the store in general. Do not have this turn you down, for Tim Burton mentioned in the book "Burton on Burton" that it had no ending at all. I'm not saying it's a terrible film, but the execution of it didn't make the movie. Despite this, I think this film should be remembered for what it did to Burton's career, showing his style of Gothic and twisted fairy tales with macabre elements or how it launched its own great animated television series (along with The Addams Family) and merchandise as well as its cult status, instead of having such a disappointing ending. So I recommend this film truly and even if you have not seen a Burton film at all I think you should see this, despite the ending this is one of my favourite films and Tim Burton is one of my personal favourite directors. Oh yes, and as for the title: this marked the only notably good role of Michael Keaton (besides Batman) everything else in his career was a waste.

Icons: Kevin Smith (2006) Season 5, Episode 6

Worst Bio doc. ever

[4 November 2006]

I hate Kevin Smith, everything about him. I don't mind people who like him but when I saw this crappy documentary on G4 I was so stunned how low documentaries can go. This isn't even a documentary, but a promo for his newest crappy movie "Clerks II". In fact, at the ending the narrator says: "Go see Kevin Smith's next film, Clerks II." I knew that Smith was a sell-out but he's such a freaking coward when he makes networks advertise his films and merchandise. If this program comes on G4 and you're just the kind of Smith-loving nerd who actually WATCHES G4 then go ahead and waste thirty minutes of your life. This excuse for a 'thirty-minute documentary' won't do anything at all for you.

Nowhere (1997)

A bizarre masterpiece! Bravo!

[10/10 · 22 October 2006]

The third and final chapter in Araki's "Teen Apoloclyspe Trilogy" consists of sexual discovery, graphic violence through religion and alien abduction. The style is truly innovative and moving with an ending so bizarre it lives up to the tag-line: 90210 on acid. Some people may say that it has no plot yet I disagree. The film consists of a day in life of teenagers facing everyday problems yet with a quirky depiction. I highly recommend this film, but be warned it is filled with plots and structures that people may find either downright weird or disturbing. Gregg Araki brings us yet another fairy tale of doom in this epic.

Female Trouble (1974)

A blend of horror and comedy-A true Waters film

[10/10 · 21 October 2006]

In 1974, John Waters created his masterpiece entitled, "Female Trouble," a film that began to show the deep and very dark Baltimore humour he uses today. The movie's basic message is: Crime is beauty, showing the hysteria of at first, a teenage Dawn (played by Drag-queen Dreamlander Divine) to a vicious and violent criminal only to be betrayed by her partners in crime and later, being executed in the electric chair. Gore is included, even a scene of an obese woman getting her hand chopped off as well as a scene of mutilation of Divine's "perfect face." A highly recommended film, not as explicit as Pink Flamginos but with much more quality. If you loved Pink Flamingos, you're in for a hilarious and bizarre oddity.

Shark Attack (1999 TV Movie)

Shark Attack? Where's the sharks?

[1/10 · 23 September 2006]

What a pointless film about genetically mutated sharks. First of all, there are barely any sharks and this film and the gore is crappy low-budget like the ONE shark that comes in at the end. Otherwise, it's a really sh-tty, bad, low budget, typically modern, horror film that makes real good cinematic horror genius like Mario Bava role in their graves. How could there be a big scam for this made-for-TV movie? Yes, this is a made-for-TV crap-shack which you know, knowing this is a made for TV film that there's not going to be much good quality. If you want a shark movie, go watch "Jaws" or even "The Deep" but not Shark Attack. Because despite the title, it's a poor excuse to make money off the SCI-FI channel.

6Teen (2004–2010)

This isn't what teen-life is like

[1/10 · 14 September 2006]

The creators of this show obviously do not know teenage-life styles. They stereotype every subject in a crude, terrible manner such as nerds, Goths, girly girls, etc. This isn't a show for children, and thank God it doesn't air anymore, but the controversy of the inappropriate behaviour of language (or the female and male nudity included. Yes, this was meant to be kids' show) it was the fact that the animation is very, very poorly done. Using crappy methods of computer graphics, obviously showing how horrible animation is today. So this was basically a show that doesn't belong in any place, any where or any time.

A.I. Assault (2006 TV Movie)

real horror films aren't sponsored by Realtors

[1/10 · 26 August 2006]

Another made-for-Tele movie which is completely horrible. There is barely any plot, the acting, writing, and of course the god-awful directing of today's worst director and Ed Wood impersonator, Jim Wynorski, who, when not making terrible plot less porn movies with hideous women, is making crappy straight to video or Sci-fi "original" movies. Basically this is a bad rip-off of War of the worlds, and to top it all off, it's another failed attempt of a Sci-fi original movie. If Sci-fi continually pulls bad ideas out of their ass with overtones of someone Else's' films, then the horror business if being dug to an early grave. Which is sad because I am a horror filmmaker myself of what one may call 'b-flicks' but when I see these computer-generated bloody bull-crap, it makes me want to throw up. If this movie comes on the Tele again, kill yourself, it will make you hate your remaining life.

A Day Without a Mexican (2004)

a film that is ahead of it's time...and it's border

[3/10 · 5 August 2006]

There is a strong critical view of "A day without a Mexican" easily because it defends illegals and mocks Americans. Now, I love the fact that they are making fun of those piggy Americans and there selfish ways without giving a chance to let the Mexicans in for a change. Though one may be expecting a large amount of fantasy and bizarre weirdness-"A day without a Mexican" although has some good messages such as 'where your heart lies' and 'give peace a chance' there is no excuse to poor quality. I was expecting the film to be funnier, a black comedy when really you see the melodramatic overtones of human drama and a positive film. The plot is way to political, most viewers don't even why the Mexicans disappeared in the first place. The message is hard to understand and in order to truly like the film you pretty much have to BE an illegal. The poor quality of the film shows everyone individual in America as a sick, spoiled bastard. This may be true but how it's portrayed is so poorly done. If the film is also very slow and dramatic, the slowness of the film goes on so much that one wonders "is this still the film?" The plot, I admit, is interesting but only good enough for a short film; not an entire movie.

Black Moon (1975)

Haunting, surreal and ever-lasting

[10/10 · 26 June 2006]

I must say, seeing this film was like an adult orientated verison of Alice in Wonderland; the material is dark and surreal as the music is eerie to set the mood of the film. The story revolves around a girl 'Lily' who finds herself stuck in a strange and bizarre world between fantasy and reality. Such events occurred in this film contains a talking unicorn, a teenager breast feeding an old woman (and later a unicorn?) and a naked children, frocking around the meadow as if nothing were watching them. Not since 'Eraserhead' have a seen such a bizarre, disturbing and fascinating work of art. A must see indeed for those of you who Cherish rare pieces of work like this.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

It stinks, and it gives James Cameron a bad name

[1/10 · 19 June 2006]

Before I forward the review I must tell you that this movie simply gives James Cameron and the terminator series a bad name. I find that all the loud action scenes and partial nudity a bore to me for it does not make the writing material or acting or quality any better. OK, on with the review...

Hollywood made an attempt to make another chapter in the sci-fi trilogy of The Terminator. A rise of the machines as they planned to do it, yet they failed to do so. There is no James Cameron in this movie; it's almost like he never made the terminator; which is a shame because he is the true creative force behind the machines as well as his friend who helped write this movie. Anyway, the movie starts out with Nick Stahl speaking his story of the terminators and of such material and judgement day. I will give them credit that they followed the concept of the second one even though they should have been more original. However we do not see the notorious and wonderful Linda Hamilton in this film; which pretty much gives the audience a chance to look at it more negatively. True, they follow the elements of Shwartzennagger and judgement day but this was simply a bad Hollywood attempt at resurrecting this movie from the nineties. They put gigantic loud noises (to cover the audience's mouths from saying: "Hey, WHERE'S THE BEEF) they put big explosions (so the producers could 'eliminate' their problems but failed like they did here) and they put out of place vulgarity huomour (as to change the subject of the critics when they bring up this movie) but if you are to take all that away, and I mean all of it, then you simply get what this movie really is: another failed Hollywood big budget action movie; simplifying nothing.