kingjoneva Reviews

The Glimmer Man (1996)

So bad it's....no it's just bad.

[2/10 · 12 August 2018]

Unless you have absolutely nothing to do, there is no need to waste your time watching this movie. There are so many better cop buddy movies featuring interracial partnerships that are worth your while. Try the original blockbuster Beverly Hills Cop one or two, because three sucked, or any of the Lethal Weapons, or the first 48 Hours because the sequel was also dreadful. The acting in this movie was horrible, and the plot had more holes in it than a crate of Swiss cheese. Not to mention how pathetic it was to see a slow fat Stephen Seagal attempt to kick someone. Most of the fight scenes featured him standing in one spot because he could barely move. In essence, just watch something else.

Money Talks (1997)

Tons of Fun

[9/10 · 5 August 2018]

This is a movie that makes people feel entertained. Back when this movie was made, it was when Chris Tucker was at his absolute best, before he became the serious artist he's tried to become today. This I want to be taken seriously disease seems to plague lots of comedians when they start to achieve some sort of box office success. Eddie Murphy. Is one that immediately comes to mind. So sit back and enjoy the days when a comedian at his prime does what he does best; entertain you and make you laugh.

Never Hike Alone (2017)

Kudos for this effort.

[8/10 · 20 July 2018]

I saw one bad review and figured that being an indie film maybe this was an honest review and all the other reviews were possibly friends of the filmmakers or cast mates trying to get some positive ratings on IMDB. I'm glad that I decided to take a chance and give this nice little gem a look for myself. I have no idea what that reviewer's problem was, but this was actually a very entertaining fan film. The build up to the confrontation between the main character and Jason was well done. And the fight scenes were actually quite entertaining. I would really like to see what these people are able to accomplish in the future if someone will give them a decent budget and a good script. Well done and keep up the good work.

Hell House LLC (2015)

Definitely worth a watch

[8/10 · 12 July 2018]

After reading the reviews for this movie ( like I often do ) my interest was definitely piqued by all the positive reviews that everyone was giving. I was wondering if these were actual reviews or just shills for the people responsible for making the movie. After taking the time to watch this movie, I can say that without a doubt, these were definitely genuine reviewers. No need to rehash the plot as many here have already done so, I will just agree with them that the "found footage" genre has gotten stale and overdone lately, but this film does it correctly. It proves that when you actually take the time to develop a good script and find quality actors, not just your friends, a great movie can be produced.

It Watches (2016)

What a stinker...

[1/10 · 11 July 2018]

This was such a waste of my time that it made me wish I had a time machine that would enable me to go back 1 hour and twenty minutes to get that part of my life back. The premise of this movie was so promising; a man with no memory house sitting in a creepy home in the Hollywood Hills. But that's pretty much where the accolades must end. From that point on its pretty much downhill. The acting was horrible, the camerawork was shoddy, the sound sucked, and the script went completely off the rails. The plot twist was barely a twist, it wasn't even a slight turn. Save your time and energy for something else.

Minutes Past Midnight (2016)

Definitely worth looking at.

[8/10 · 10 July 2018]

I must admit that I initially stopped playing this movie after the first short story, but I continued watching it again after reading a few reviews on this site; and I'm really glad that I did. This film consists of nine short stories and while the first one wasn't necessarily my cup of tea and almost caused me to skip the rest of the stories, there are some pretty entertaining features that I would have missed had I not been more patient. The Mill at Caulders was a spooky animation, and the short film Feeders was down right creepy and entertaining. I also found Ghost Train and and Roid Rage creepy and kooky respectively.All in all this was definitely not a waste of time.

Late Night Double Feature (2016)

Not as bad some make it out to be.

[7/10 · 7 July 2018]

I guess because I read some of the reviews before watching this movie I was able to watch it with an open mind.

This was obviously a movie that didn't take itself seriously and anyone watching it should do the same. This was a movie that reminded me of The Kentucky Fried Movie from back in the day. This was a campy throwback to the type of movies you could expect to see back when little local stations handled our late night entertainment, before Netflix, Hulu, and 24 hour streaming services were available. Some of us are old enough to remember those glorious days. So sit back, relax, and get a little nostalgic with this mildly entertaining film would be my suggestion.

Knock Knock (I) (2015)

I blame all of you

[1/10 · 4 July 2018]

Before I watch a movie I often find myself reading the reviews on here first. When I saw this movie being lambasted on here with such fervor and by so many reviewers, it had the opposite effect on me. Instead of avoiding this movie, I was compelled to watch it instead. Now I can join the fraternity of people who rated this movie one star and do my best to warn everyone to avoid this movie at all cost. Avoid this movie like it is the plague and there is no known cure for it. Much like everyone else, I have no clue why this movie was made, and the point it was attempting to convey. Maybe this was Keanu living some sort of weird fantasy? That's truly the only thing I can think of.

6 Ways to Die (2015)

When you're too smart for your own good....

[4/10 · 3 July 2018]

You end up with a movie like this. There was so much potential in this movie, but like everyone said, it was wasted because this movie was the definition of less being more. There was too much going on; too many different story lines, too many characters, took many flashbacks, just too da*m much. I gave it 4 stars because I did hang around until the end, but that was only because I had invested my time and wanted a return on that investment.

Demonic (2015)

Not too bad

[6/10 · 2 July 2018]

After reading some of the previous reviews I didn't know what to expect but I decided to watch this movie with an open mind. I found myself agreeing with most of the reviews that called this film unexpectedly enjoyable. I'll describe it as "Paranormal Activity" meets "Usual Suspects". Just sit back and give this little gem a looksie and odds are you will not be too disappointed.

Home Sweet Hell (2015)

Ignore the Hate

[8/10 · 2 July 2018]

Remove your wanna be critic shoes for a minute and enjoy this movie for what it is; just a goofy fluff of a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously and neither should any of us. Just like in an action movie where the star gets punched kicked shot at, and makes a car do things that are just impossible, suspend belief for 90 minutes and allow yourself to be entertained. Then feel free to go watch Citizen Kane when you're ready for a grandiose cinematic masterpiece.

Intruders (2015)

Worth Watching

[6/10 · 29 June 2018]

Everyone has already given a synopsis of the movie. I would have to say that I was entertained by this movie and watched it through until the end. While not a perfect script by any imagination, it was sufficiently thrilling to hold my attention and I would recommend it.

4Got10 (2015)

I tried...I really did..

[1/10 · 29 June 2018]

I really wanted this movie to be good. Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, Vivaca Fox, and such a promising beginning. Unfortunately like a lot of the people who have already reviewed this movie has said, it got bad and kept getting worse. I had to bail about halfway through because there was no way I was going to be able to continue to subject myself to this movie.

Exeter (2015)

Not Horrible.....

[5/10 · 28 June 2018]

I gave this movie a 5/10 which I guess for a low budget film is not too bad. A lot of people didn't like the humor that was used in the film, but I didn't have a problem with it. The acting was pretty decent and the special effects were surprisingly effective. I watched the movie until the end and didn't feel like my time had been wasted so I call that a success in my book..

Hellions (2015)

Really really worthless

[1/10 · 26 June 2018]

There's absolutely no reason to watch this movie. Everyone has given a synopsis of the plot, or lack of one. There were so many nonsensical things going on that who the hell cares about the hellions or the main character. Avoid this at all costs..

The Dead Room (2015)

Passable

[5/10 · 25 June 2018]

While not a great movie by any stretch, this movie is at the very least mildly entertaining. The plot is pretty simple and straight forward. Ghost investigators investigate a haunted farm house. The effects are decent and the story does move along. Something to watch when you have seen everything else.

Keeper of Darkness (2015)

Decent Movie

[6/10 · 24 June 2018]

Not going to bother with the plot as others have succinctly summed it up for you. In my opinion this was a decent film that one could watch if its a weekend and there's nothing to do. The acting, storyline and special effects will not leave you feeling disappointed. At the very least, if you rented this movie for a couple of bucks, rest easy in knowing you will get your money's worth.

Bikini Mayhem (2015)

There is bad, horrible, and them this...

[24 June 2018]

Just like there's supposed to be a lowest level in hell, this would qualify for the lowest level of awful.The acting was terrible, I could have shot better quality film on my iPhone, and the music was simply dreadful. I'm not going to bother with the plot, the so-called college students who wanted to be models looked like 40 year old housewives that left you begging for them to put their clothes back on. Often times a movie is so bad that someone will advise you to not waste time watching it, well I'm advising the opposite. This is so bad that much like a train wreck, I would like others to watch this in its entirety and suffer like I did...